Hero Of Dimensions
by shinnagami
Summary: One thing can change everything. A accident sends naruto to a new dimension Will he ever go home with a goddess keeping him prisoner and having him work off his sentence. While at the same time keeps thinking the accidents happening because of him is on purpose and keeps extending his sentence. While at the same time other girls are falling head over heels in love with him
1. Arrival, Imprissonment, Punishent

Hero of Dimensions

AN: This is a idea I thought of but I am not the one who wrote it that courtesy is from Drake Wilson author of "To love Ruto" (which I am the beta reader for) I guess you could say we are co. authors (I come up with the ideas and he writes it) and since he wrote ithe deserves at least half the credit if not more for taking the time to write this while I think of ideas for him to write for it

and since it was my idea he said I should post it on my profile so that is the reason it was posted on mine and not his

Disclaimer: me and Drake Wilson don't own naruto or the hyperdimension neptunia franchises we did we would be multi-million airs

Chapter 1: Arrival, Imprisonment, Punishment

It is said that every action has a reaction. This is an undeniable fact. Just because we do not see the effects of our actions we often write them off as insignificant but sometimes the effects of a trivial decision can have such wide reaching effects that they can complete change an entire nation's destiny.

For example had Minato not read the Gutsy Ninja, Naruto would not have been called Naruto. Now this might seem a minor change but Naruto was a unique name and finding his name sake was a hero in a book gave Naruto a goal and vision beyond 'I want to be Hokage.' Had he been called Tom his destiny might have played out very differently indeed.

This is a story about one such change, a tiny insignificant little change that completely rewrote the destiny of Naruto and the fates of two worlds as a result. The change that wrought about all these changes? A single shot of poor quality whisky. How did it change everything? Well dear reader… Read on.

...

Life sucked, Naruto idly thought to himself as he walked down a mud path through a forest. Some people would just scowl at someone and say "I'm an Uchiha, teach me," and lo and behold the person asked would be falling over themselves to please you. Naruto was not that lucky. Here he was nearly three years into a training journey with one of the Sannin and the old perv had barely taught him anything! It just wasn't fair!

"Are we there yet?" Naruto asked for what must have been the hundredth time. He was determined to make Jiraiya as bad tempered as he was right now.

"Nearly," Jiraiya replied.

"Where are we heading again?"

"This quaint little village just on the border of Fire." Jiraiya grinned with a healthy blush. "They have a lovely hot springs and also a quite delightful red light area."

"So you are off perving again?" Naruto scoffed. "What a training journey this is!" He rolled his eyes.

"Hey! I taught you how to use up to three tails of the Kyuubi's chakra," Jiraiya defended himself. "And you nearly killed me learning that."

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto spat on the floor, "I was hoping to actually learn some techniques rather than rely on that stupid fox's power."

"Kid," Jiraiya stopped and put a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "That stupid fox is arguably the most powerful entity known to man. If you could control it…"

"I know," Naruto sighed. "I just want to be stronger myself you know? I hate the fact that I have to rely on the fox. It's as if I'd be useless without him."

"Hardly," Jiraiya offered Naruto a small smile, "It wasn't the fox that mastered the Rasengan. It wasn't the fox who brought Tsunade to Konoha."

"It wasn't the fox who was too weak to stop Sasuke leaving."

"Kid, the fox would have killed him, hell from what I was able to piece together you should have killed him if you hadn't pulled your last attack." Jiraiya shook his head, "I'm telling you there is no helping that Uchiha brat. If you'd only realise that then…"

"Then I might as well give up on being Hokage whilst I'm at it since that is an 'impossible goal' as well."

"Naruto…" Jiraiya groaned. "This and that are two different things." The old man smiled, "Tell you what, why don't you come out with me tonight? We'll have a few drinks to celebrate the end of the training journey."

"End?" Naruto blinked, "But… But I've hardly learnt anything!"

"Kid you've got a good skillset for Chuunin and…"

"Chuunin? I want to be Hokage and save Sasuke!"

"Keep your voice down brat," Jiraiya scowled. "Those goals take time you know?"

"Then why is Sasuke getting stronger than I am?" Naruto challenged. They had heard the tales of Orochimaru's star apprentice on their travels.

"Well maybe the kid is gifted?" Jiraiya shrugged.

"So that's it is it?" Naruto snapped hotly. "He's just better than me? Maybe if you'd actually teach me something I could improve. Hell you could have at least started me out on Fuinjutsu or something! Isn't that your main skill set and as a living testament to the strength of the art I feel I could benefit for some training in that area!"

"Bah," Jiraiya snorted. "You don't have the patience or the intelligence to learn that!"

"So I'm stupid and untalented?!"

"I didn't…" Jiraiya started to talk but was cut off by Naruto.

"Whatever. Let's just find the hotel so you can go off and get wasted and I can go to sleep. Maybe when I get back to Konoha I'll be able to find someone who will actually teach me something."

"Naruto!" Jiraiya sighed as Naruto stormed off in a foul mood. "Probably could have handled that better." He shook his head and followed his miserable apprentice.

The rest of the journey was carried out in silence. The quaint little village was actually a sprawling slums area that was pretty much all a red light district. They made their way to one of the few stone buildings amongst the sea of wooden shacks where a bony, old man gave Jiraiya two keys and lead them to a room on the top floor of the building.

"Here we go," Jiraiya opened the door and looked around. "A bit basic but it will do right?"

"Whatever," Naruto grunted as he walked passed Jiraiya. The room was pretty much bare except for the two beds at either sides of the room. Naruto tossed aside his travelling pack, threw his clothes into a pile and clambered into bed without another word.

"I'm going out," Jiraiya paused. "You sure you don't want to join me?"

Naruto rolled over and put his back to Jiraiya.

"Fine…" Jiraiya sighed. "Be like that then." He shut the door and made his way towards the bar, whistling a jaunty little tune. Naruto would cheer up in the morning and Jiraiya would once again try and teach him something. The problem with Naruto is he didn't seem to understand that Jiraiya was trying to correct all the errors in his fighting style. Only then could he begin to build on Naruto's skills. If Jiraiya had known had badly the schools had sabotaged the boy he would have asked for another three years to truly mould the boy into the sort of Ninja that Minato would have been proud to call his son. Although knowing Minato, just the fact the boy hadn't snapped under all the abuse he had received as a child would have made him proud. Jiraiya decided not to dwell on what may have been though. Partially as thinking about Minato always got him down but mainly because is a rough area like this Jiraiya would need all his wits about him to make it out with all his money.

Pleasure slums, as Jiraiya liked to refer to the villages like this, were not uncommon on the borders of Nations as it was a place where criminals and the generally disliked made a living. This one was called Chastity, a somewhat amusing name considering over 70% of the women and 40% of the men here were all in the business of sex, although for once Jiraiya didn't feel like indulging in the pleasures of the flesh and made his way to one of the many bars littering the slum area.

He saw a sign that was slanted and declared the bar to be the 'Happee Lovar'.

"Really?" Jiraiya snorted as a short man was thrown out of the bar with an axe embedded in his back. "Seems friendly enough." He chuckled as he made his way through the bar fight to the bar.

"Evening handsome," A toothless old crone smiled at him.

"Evening," Jiraiya suppressed the involuntary shudder. "What have you got to drink?"

"Name your poison."

"Sake," Jiraiya put several notes on the counter. "And information."

"I see." The crone paused. "What information would this be?"

"On any peculiar red clouds that you may have seen."

"Red clouds are always strange," The crone handed a small bowl of Sake to Jiraiya, "Stranger still are the people who have red eyes with blue friends."

"I see," Jiraiya finished his drink and beckoned for another, "And do you see many strange sights like that around here?"

"Only recently," The crone paused and looked around before leaning forward and whispering, "Word is that they are looking for someone in these parts."

"I see," Jiraiya smiled softly and ordered another drink. For the next two hours he traded money for liquor and more vague clues on the Akatsuki's operations in this area. Finally the alcohol and fatigue from travelling started to take effect on the old man and Jiraiya stood up to leave, leaving a small tip.

"Sure you won't have one last drink?" The crone smiled toothlessly holding up a small bottle of what looked like cheap whisky.

"I really shouldn't," Jiraiya shook his head. "I'm already a little tipsy and I have a long journey ahead of me tomorrow."

"After what you've put away I'm sure one little drink won't hurt you." The crone laughed.

Normally Jiraiya would have just politely declined and walked away. If he had destiny would have unfolded as it was meant to. Everything would have worked out fine… well maybe not for Neji but let's be honest you can't help some people.

But this time, Jiraiya said yes and because of it, Naruto's entire destiny changed.

Elsewhere

 **"Lace Ribbon Dance!"**

The strange blue slime creature exploded into small crystals that faded away and its assailant wiped the sweat from her brow with a soft smile. She hovered in the air slightly, her long white hair billowing in the breeze caused by a simple swing of her sword. Her light blue eyes scanned the area for any more hostiles before she smiled slightly on seeing that the swarm of Dogoo, the strange dog-like slime creatures, had been dealt with quickly and efficiently.

"Kyaah!" The small group of girls watching her fight the monsters cheered, "Black Heart-sama is so cool!"

"As expected of Lastation's Goddess!" Another cheered. "Noire-sama is so cool!"

Noire or the Black Goddess of Lastation smiled as she felt the praise of the people she was sworn to defend. It was her duty as the Goddess of Lastation, as Black Heart, to defend her people and ensure their happiness. It was in this role that she found herself in the country side fighting Dogoo, the strange dog slime creatures that were relatively harmless, although in large numbers they could become pests, eating crops and generally causing a nuisance. Most Goddesses would have sent someone else to deal with them but Noire always felt that she should lead by example. Her people should see her defeating the evils of the land thus inspiring them. It didn't hurt that these displays of her power improved the publics opinion of her and with a better opinion came more share energy, the energy that gave her the powers of a Goddess.

She scowled slightly as she thought about the upcoming meeting. The four Goddesses; Purple Heart, White Heart, Green Heart and of course not forgetting herself Black Heart, were all set to meet in neutral territory to sign the Friendship Agreement in less than a month's time. A treaty that would say that the Goddesses couldn't use military force to steal the share energy of another Goddess, which suited Noire just fine. Her constant appearances ensured a constant supply of share energy and without any chance of losing it due to military actions, the future looked bright for Lastation.

"Onee-sama," A younger girl ran towards her, carrying a futuristic rifle on her shoulder. "I have successfully cleared the group that tried to escape."

"That is satisfactory," Noire replied distantly, focusing on the horizon. "We have finished here Uni."

"Is something wrong?" The now named Uni followed her elder sister's gaze.

"There is a strange energy in the air," Black Heart glowed slightly before landing to the floor, her white hair now black and held in two long twin tails by cute blue bows. The black skinsuit replaced by a blue dress and the piercing blue eyes replaced by warm red ones. "I feel like something big is coming." Noire finished.

"I see," Uni looked uneasy. "I… I will do my best to face it!"

"Hm?" Noire glanced at Uni, "I'm sure you will," She replied distantly before turning to leave. "Come. We have much work to do."

"Hai!" Uni raced after her sister. "They really seem to love you." Uni nodded her head in the direction of the cheering villagers.

"It is a Goddesses duty to be loved," Noire replied.

"I see…" Uni looked at the ground, 'I could never be as well-loved as Noire… After all she is so perfect and I'm… I can't even transform.' She sighed sadly.

"You shouldn't get so down in public," Noire chastised her softly. "If we appear weak our shares will drop."

"R-right." Uni's smile was so fake it was scary.

"Maybe it would be better if you stopped trying so hard." Noire sighed.

"S-sorry." Uni's shoulders slumped. 'I can't do anything right… Noire is probably so disappointed in me.'

Noire stared ahead. 'Uni… You have the potential to surpass me. I just wish you could see it.' She shook her head with a fond smile on her face.

"Er… Onee-sama," Uni cleared her throat, "Should you really be carrying out missions this close to the Goddesses meeting?"

"Why?"

"Well… I could handle them for you," Uni suggested. 'I will prove that I can be as good as you big sister!'

"No," Noire shook her head. 'If I'm going to be stuck in a room with Neptune I need to vent all my anger out now so that I don't snap at her during the Peace meeting. That would probably do a fair bit of damage to my shares.'

"Ah… I see…" Uni slumped slightly. 'Onee-sama doesn't trust me...' Her moping was interrupted by a ringing noise and she reached into her pocket to pull out a phone. "Oh Hi Nepgear. Yes I am with Onee-sama. I'll pass on the message. Thank you."

"What did Nepgear want?" Noire asked.

"Apparently Neptune is refusing to work." Uni shook her head. "How did someone so irresponsible become a Goddess?"

"Isn't that one of the mysteries of this world?" Noire snorted. "No doubt I will have to cover for her at the Peace talks."

"Oh?"

"W-well if people see her making mistakes they might think all of the Goddesses are idiots like her," Noire quickly remarked, "It's not that I enjoy looking after her or anything."

The two sisters made their way back to the Lastation's capital and back to their headquarters, where an unimpressed young girl was waiting for them. This girl looked vaguely like a young boy, with short silver hair and blue eyes. She was currently wearing an outfit that looked like a young boy's school uniform, further giving the impression she was in fact male, however the Goddess and her younger sister knew her to be Kei Jinguji, oracle of Lastation and advisor to the Goddess.

"Is it really wise to be going on such missions?" Kei remarked as they approached. "This close to the peace talks as well?"

"I am not going to let some Dogoos defeat me," Noire stated. "That would bring shame on the name of the Goddesses and on Lastation. Plus my shares would plummet!"

"I took down at least twenty," Uni stated. "Onee-sama was never in any danger."

"Yes, yes," Kei rubbed her forehead. "And now you both stink from your exertions. Please take a shower Noire-sama."

"Well I do smell a little fresh," Noire admitted. "And that slime seems to get everywhere… But I do have a lot of paper work to get on with. Lastation doesn't run itself."

"I can do that!" Uni volunteered. "Such a task should be easy for me!"

"Hmm…" Noire looked thoughtful, 'I don't think any of my cosplaying receipts should be in the paper work… I know Uni can handle it but what if I forgot to remove one of them? Could I explain myself to her?'

"Onee-sama?" Uni deflated by her sister's obvious reluctance to let her take the work. 'Am I not skilled enough for Onee-sama to trust?'

"I'll leave it to you," Noire decided finally.

"I won't let you down!" Uni sat behind a desk piled high with paperwork and started to go through it at an impressive pace.

"Hm," Noire smiled softly as she made her way to the bath. 'Should anything ever happen to me at least I know Lastation will be in good hands. Not that anything will ever happen to me. I am Black Heart!' She smirked proudly as she made her way into the bathroom.

Back to Naruto

"My head," Jiraiya groaned as he woke up. "I feel like it's been used as an impromptu battering ram…"

"That's what drink does to you," Naruto's voice was like a buzz saw to Jiraiya's head.

"Not so loud," Jiraiya whined.

"I've never seen you so bad Ero-sennin," Naruto sounded distracted. "You were really wasted last night."

"Yeah…" Jiraiya stumbled out of his bed to go to the small bathroom when his instincts screamed something was very wrong. He paused and took in the scene.

The room was exactly as he remembered it, devoid of any personality. Naruto was feverishly reading Minato's journal and taking notes and it looked like he hadn't slept in his bed all night. There was a strange pair of panties at the end of his bed and… wait a second, Jiraiya's eyes widened. "Naruto?!"

"Yes?"

"Did I bring a girl back here?"

"No," Naruto shook his head.

"Then why…"

"I don't want to talk about it." Naruto replied.

"You can't go saying that," Jiraiya turned to face Naruto. "Not when… Wait a minute! What are you doing with Minato's journal?!"

"You gave it to me last night."

"I would never…" Jiraiya went to point at Naruto but a sudden pain in his ribs caused him to groan. "What happened to my ribs?"

"That was me," Naruto admitted.

"What did I do?"

"More like what you didn't do." Naruto replied bluntly.

"And what was that?"

"Tell me about my parents."

"…Oh?"

"You were awfully sorry about that last night," Naruto continued.

"Oh yeah?" Jiraiya winced as he rubbed the sore area. "What the hell did you hit me with?"

"I think it was that chair over there," Naruto jerked his head to the corner of a room where a small pile of wooden shards signified the final resting place of the one of the two chairs this room had.

"So what exactly happened last night?"

"Well," Naruto finally turned away from the notes he was taking and Jiraiya could see the bags under his eyes. "You came in around one in the morning completely wasted whilst I was doing some push ups. You called me Minato and told me to go to bed."

"Oh… I remember that…" Jiraiya groaned weakly. "And then I said… It was an easy mistake to make as you looked so much like him right? Then something like it's to be expected with you being his son after all."

"Yeah," Naruto nodded. "So of course I asked who this Minato fellow was and you said…"

"I said 'Who is he? Only the greatest Hokage to ever have lived.'" Jiraiya put his head in his hands. "How drunk was I?! I'm supposed to be able to overcome toxins like that from my toad training!"

"So of course I was a little upset," Naruto continued.

"So you hit me with the chair?"

"No the chair comes later."

"There's more?!"

"There's hell of a lot more," Naruto coughed. "I then asked you about why I was called Uzumaki if my father was a Namikaze. Your response was 'Because it is your mother's name, she was called Kushina Uzumaki. You take after her.'"

"I don't remember that…"

"Well… There were some things said that I am not proud of," Naruto winced. "Punches were thrown on both sides. I ranted a lot and you apologised a lot but promised to make it up to me."

"And then?"

"Then…" Naruto looked embarrassed. "You took me out for a few drinks."

"Wait… I went out drinking again?" Jiraiya groaned. "No wonder I feel so bad!"

"Well… I was hitting the drinks pretty hard," Naruto confessed, "And apparently the Fuzzbut inside decided that my life wasn't in danger so there was no need to burn the poison from my system and well…"

"We both got wasted," Jiraiya snorted with laughter but immediately regretted it as his ribs cried out in pain. "Then what?"

"Then…" Naruto went bright red. "You… Kind of suggested a good way to make myself feel better."

"Ohoh!" Jiraiya laughed, "Then those panties…"

"Yeah," Naruto mumbled.

"Did you go all the way?" Jiraiya waggled his eyebrows.

"I… I didn't," Naruto admitted. "I mean there was some kissing and heavy touching involved…" He mumbled.

"And then what happened?" Jiraiya scowled, "I don't see where the chair gets involved."

"You barged into the room and asked if she was interested in a threesome," Naruto coughed weakly. "She said no but you said you were willing to pay extra."

"And?"

"Turns out she wasn't a prostitute." Naruto looked embarrassed.

"Wait… You pulled?!" Jiraiya raised an eyebrow.

"She seemed scared of you so I kind of hit you with that chair." Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "She escaped but kissed me on the cheek and left me the panties as a reward, saying next time I'm in town I should come alone and she'd show me a fun time."

"And then?"

"You were impressed that I had pulled and gave me dad's journal as an apology." Naruto gestured to the book he had been reading.

"And all these notes?" Jiraiya looked at them.

"I haven't slept." Naruto shook his head. "And the book… It makes so much sense you know."

"I do?" Jiraiya looked puzzled. "The book was all just ramen recipes and odd doodles by Kushina right?"

"Well that's what it showed a first but then I was so pissed that I never got to meet my family I punched the desk and caused my fists to bleed. The blood seemed to get absorbed by the book and…"

"A blood seal?" Jiraiya laughed then winced at the pain, "Yeah that sounds about right. I'll bet that Kushina hid the seals in her doodles. She was a sharp one at times. Unfortunately that keen intellect only ever surfaced when she was dealing with seals. Rest of the time she was just like you."

"That's… That's good to know." Naruto smiled distantly. "I mean I never really got to know them. Then I got to thinking… Maybe there was some sort of video seal or something that they could have used to save an important event like maybe my birth or their marriage."

"So you could see your parents that way," Jiraiya smiled as he went through Naruto's notes before freezing. "Naruto… Why are you writing notes on time travel?!"

"Well…" Naruto coughed awkwardly, "I couldn't find anything like that but I did find some of mom and dad's notes on time travel."

"What's this tree diagram all about?" Jiraiya frowned.

"Oh right, that was dad's theory on time travel. Say that time is a tree right? Each choice we make creates another branch where we went one way but an alternate me went a different way."

"Alternate Universe theory," Jiraiya nodded. "Yeah I know about that."

"Well humans cannot swim against time." Naruto pointed at the diagram. "But we can theoretically jump branches but even then we would only be able to go back to the instant after that branch left the original branch we are from so we could never influence our own timeline." The sleep deprived Naruto paused waiting for a nod of understanding from Jiraiya.

"I see…"

"But what if you left the tree you were on?"

"Pardon?" Jiraiya blinked.

"You cannot travel back too far as every branch on my tree starts with me being born, so I cannot travel back further than that, no matter what alternate branch I land on."

"That kind of make sense," Jiraiya frowned.

"But if I actually left my tree, jumped into another time line, I could re-join someone else's timeline at a point of time earlier than when I was born. It wouldn't be time travel it would be dimension hopping." Naruto gestured to his notes. "Dad and Mom designed the seal and everything and they believed it would work!"

"Okay…" Jiraiya cut off Naruto's rant. "Let's assume the seal works and it sends you to a different dimension. What then? How do you get back and how do you even specify a target?"

"I…" Naruto frowned. "I haven't finished reading the notes yet but it seems it all depends on the amount of Chakra put into the seal."

"And what does that control? How far away you go or the time in that dimension?"

"There are two arrays so one must control time and the other space." Naruto yawned.

"Uhuh," Jiraiya shook his head. "Look kid I wish I could go back in time as well but an untested seal is just asking for trouble. Plus if it could work don't you think Minato would have used it to save his own family? Or maybe he is smart enough to know that changing one tiny thing could have disastrous effects."

"He said to use it in an emergency…" Naruto mumbled as he started to drift off to sleep. "But I know it will work."

"Kid what you know about seals I could probably write on a very small postcard. Get some sleep kid, I'll go get something to eat and wake you up later."

"Okay…" Naruto mumbled as he climbed into his bed and tried to sleep. No matter how he tossed and turned though sleep was not coming. The thought that he could actually meet his family was so exciting for him, like a little child before Christmas, if the child was turning sixteen, suffering from sleep deprivation and also still drunk. "I could do it…" Naruto climbed out bed. "I could do it and no one would ever know! I would there and return before Jiraiya comes back… If I don't change anything he'll never know!"

Satisfied with his logic, Naruto set to work copying out the seals from Minato's journal and followed their instructions to the letter. Of course being sleep depraved and drunk had affected Naruto's abilities and without realising it, he smudged a small part of the seal after he had finished the drawing. This smudge should have caused the seal to malfunction as it did when Naruto tried to power the seal. Unfortunately it is a documented fact that mixing Bijuu chakra with Uzumaki seals always has weird and wonderful effects so when Naruto called upon the Kyuubi's chakra to try and power the seal. It detonated with the force of a Bijuudama almost completely removing Chastity from the map and succeeding in completely removing Naruto from reality… Well at least this reality.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Naruto cried out as he suddenly found himself falling down an endless tunnel. All around him was a swirling blue light with the occasional crackle of lightning and small windows that passed him by, showing glimpses of different people and places. He reached out and managed to grab a hold of one, peering into it as he fell.

In it was what looked like an older version of him.

"I finally did it!" The older Naruto grinned. "I caught my first poke-girl! A nine tails as well!"

A beautiful, voluptuous but above all naked woman with nine fiery red tails was stood before him. Red slitted eyes staring at the other Naruto hungrily and two red fox ears twitching. She licked her lips and walked towards him, swaying her hips seductively.

"I guess that means it's time to tame you," the other Naruto started to undo his belt.

"W-what?!" Naruto let go of the strange window that flew away. "What the hell was that?"

He hurtled through the corridor and grabbed another mirror. This one showed another version of him.

"God damn it Lala!" the Mirror-Naruto groaned.

"Muuu…" A beautiful and big busted girl pouted cutely. She had pink hair and kind of reminded him a little of Sakura-chan except this girl was more beautiful and actually had breasts. Oh and the fact she was naked as well. "I thought you'd like my surprise."

"Trust me… I would love to have sex with you," He smiled, "But I do have to fight an evil God right now okay?"

"Fine," Lala hugged him. "I guess I can wait," She purred, pressing her impressive assets into his chest.

"Then again…" Mirror-Naruto cleared his throat, "I guess I can spare a couple of hours…"

"The hell is this?" Naruto cried out in alarm as he released the mirror again. "Is this… The space between dimensions or something?!" He turned to see another mirror headed straight towards him. Unlike the others the only thing Naruto could see was a pair of breasts that were wet and soapy and to Naruto's fear (and excitement) he was hurtling towards them with no way to avoid them. He braced himself as he collided with the mirror but instead of a sudden impact, he felt hot water splash against him and a strange soft feeling in his left hand and on his lips. He kept his eyes shut, savouring the strange feeling and sensation. He could hear the sound of water running and suddenly the sound of a door opening.

"I've finished the paperwork Onee-sama and… ONEE-SAMA?!"

Naruto felt a stinging pain to the bottom of his jaw and was enveloped in the welcome blackness of sleep.

A few minutes earlier

"Ah," Noire sighed happily as the warm water cascaded down her body. There was nothing quite like a hot shower to help a girl relax after a stressful day of killing slime monsters. She lathered the soap on her body, admiring her own beauty. Unlike Neptune and Blanc who were lacking in the mammary department or Vert who was far too encumbered by her assets, Noire felt her breasts were just right. They were there but didn't get in the way.

She started to wash her long black hair, marvelling at the silky feeling. She took good care of her appearance, after all a Goddess had to look her best at all time and even amongst the Goddesses Noire felt she had to always be the best and so did Uni. It was why she pushed her little sister so hard and Noire knew that Uni would not only meet her standards but would completely surpass them if only she started to realise that she had power and to stop judging herself by the pedestal that she had put Noire on.

"Huh?" Noire paused as a strange crackling noise filled the bathroom. "Who is there?" She narrowed her eyes and transformed, ready to completely destroy anyone who would try and peek on her here. "Show yourself and I may be convinced to show you mercy!"

She was answered by a strange distortion in the air in front of her, like a mirror shattering and a strange blonde boy with his eyes clenched shut appeared from nowhere and knocked her to the floor. She found herself frozen in shock as the boy reached out a hand to stop his fall and grabbed her breast as they fell before his lips met hers, causing a strange electrical sensation to spread through her body. She felt a strange burning in her body and found herself absent-mindedly thinking how nice his lips felt and how good it felt having someone other than herself touching her breasts.

She was snapped out of her daze by the door opening.

"I've finished the paperwork Onee-sama and… ONEE-SAMA?!" Uni froze in shock and horror.

Noire instinctively lashed out, punching Naruto in the jaw and launching him off of her and into the wall, getting himself embedded into it, where he stayed blissfully unconscious and unaware of the infuriated Goddess behind him.

"T-that…" Noire gulped. "That beast assaulted me!" She glared at the still form of the boy. "I want him punished to the highest possible degree!"

"H-hai," Uni gulped at Noire's fury. "I'll take him to a cell."

"Do that." Noire fumed as she left the bathroom, clad in a towel. She paused briefly and touched her lips. 'He… He took my first kiss…' She blushed bright red. "N -not that I enjoyed it!" She declared to no-one in particular as she continued to her room.

Uni lifted the taller blonde up, groaning slightly under his weight. "He is kind of heavy and what weird clothes he is wearing. He doesn't look like he was sent by any of the other Goddesses." Uni frowned as she stared at his face. "What strange markings…" She stroked his cheek and was rewarded with a strange purr.

"He's just like a cat," Uni smiled softly. "Ah! What am I doing? He is an enemy of Lastation!" She dragged Naruto towards the prison cells. 'But he sure is a cute one though. N-not that I care about that sort of thing.'

Some time later

"My jaw…" Naruto groaned as he regained consciousness. "Hey… where the hell am I?!" He glanced around and found he was in a bare stone cell and that his hands were tied behind his back. "I cannot be caged, this is unlawful imprisonment! I am a Konoha Shinobi! Registration No: 012607. Under the terms of the Ninja Wars Peace Agreement I am required to be fed; I demand Ramen!"

"So you have finally woken up!" Noire approached the cell.

"Do I know you?" Naruto crossed his arms. "And where is my Ramen?"

"You will not receive any ramen." Noire smirked.

"You said it wrong," Naruto sighed.

"Eh?"

"It's Ramen with a capital R. The food of the gods deserves a capitalised first letter damn it!"

"How do you know that I didn't capitalise it?"

"When it's about ramen I know." Naruto stated bluntly.

"Er… Onee-sama," Uni cleared her throat.

"Oh right," Noire cleared her throat, "Who sent you here?"

"I guess I must have sent myself here?" Naruto suggested.

"You came by yourself to assassinate me?!"

"What? No!" Naruto shook his head furiously, "I didn't intend to assassinate you!"

"Oh? Then you wanted to assault me? To use my nubile young body as your plaything?!"

"No! Why would I want to do that?!"

"I am a Goddess that's why!"

"Man you have a high opinion of yourself." Naruto cleared out the inside of his ear.

"W-what?" Noire fumed.

"Besides why would I want to assault you when I am going to marry Sakura-chan!" Naruto smirked as if he had just won the debate right there and then.

"Maybe this Sakura-chan doesn't like you and you decided to lust after me!" Noire barked.

"Oh yeah?" Naruto laughed. "Why would I lust after you?!" Naruto rolled around on the floor.

"You… You… Beast!" Noire turned to Uni. "Let me know when Kei arrives. I want this uncouth criminal punished more severely than any criminal was ever punished!"

"Okay…" Uni watched her sister storm off. "You shouldn't make her so angry."

"Well she shouldn't deny me my Ramen privileges." Naruto replied petulantly. "It is in the Shinobi Peace Time agreement."

"The what?"

"The shinobi peace time agreement." Naruto repeated. "What haven't you ever heard of it?"

"No…" Uni shook her head.

"Man we must be far from Konoha then," Naruto blinked. "Where exactly am I?"

"You are in Lastation."

"Never heard of it," Naruto blinked.

"Never… How can you not have heard of it? This world is only made up of four countries!"

"It is?"

"Yes! Planetpune, Lowee, Lastation and Leanbox." Uni tilted her head. "Where you raised underground or something?"

"I was raised in Konoha, strongest of the ninja villages!" Naruto declared.

"Ninja villages?" Uni frowned, "I've never heard of them."

"Never heard of Konoha?!" Naruto looked horrified. "What sort of backwards place is this?"

"B-backwards?!" Uni blinked. "You're the backwards one here!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!" Uni humphed and crossed her arms. "It doesn't matter anyway. You are going to be punished!"

"What for?"

"For fondling my sister!" Uni's cheeks flushed slightly.

"Fondling… Wait a second." Naruto's eyes widened. "I remember now! I used that seal to travel back in time! If I use it again I might be able to go home!" He froze in horror, "I… I can't remember the seal!" He started rolling around on the floor. "I'm stuck in a hostile foreign land!"

"It's not all that bad," Uni felt compelled to try and cheer him up for some reason.

"R-really?"

"I mean, this is quite a nice place to live," Uni continued. "And I'm sure that Onee-sama will calm down and realise this was a huge misunderstanding."

"You think so?" Naruto brightened. "Thanks." He beamed at her. "You know you're a lot nicer than that other chick. You're really kind of cute as well."

"Being complimented by you doesn't make me happy at all," Uni turned away.

"Er… Sorry about that." Naruto smirked as he managed to cut the bindings off of his arm and started to massage them to get the blood flowing right. "And I'm sorry about this."

"About what?" Uni turned to see Naruto free of his bindings and holding a kunai which he threw out of the cell. "Hah! You missed."

"Actually…" A voice behind chuckled. "He wasn't aiming for you." There was a sudden pain in her neck and she passed out. "Steady as she goes," Naruto's kage Bunshin lowered her softly to the floor. "I don't see any keys boss."

"Damn it," Naruto leaned on the cell door. "Can you pick it?"

"I can try," The kage Bunshin stared at the lock. "I think I've got it." The clone kicked the lock repeatedly until it broke off the cell. "Job done!" He grinned.

"Yatta!" Naruto cheered as he opened his cell. "Now you get in the cell and I'll escape."

"Okay," The Kage Bunshin sat in the cell and shut the door. "But what about the lock?"

"Meh," Naruto shrugged. "Just keep them distracted so I can escape."

"Right boss," The clone sighed.

"Right then," Noire's voice sounded from around the corner and the goddess showed herself, followed by what looked like a young boy to Naruto's eyes. "Uni… Why are you sleeping?" She shook her younger sister.

"Eh?" Uni blinked. "Oh! I'm so sorry I don't know what happened."

"Sleeping on the job?" Noire frowned. "I expected better of you."

"I'm sorry." Uni bowed her head, tears in her eyes.

"Hey leave her alone!" The Kage Bunshin called out, "It isn't her fault that she got outsmarted by a ninja. I mean do you know how awesome we are?"

"Ninja-san?" Uni blinked. 'Why… Why is he defending me?'

"What do you mean?" Noire scoffed. "If she was outsmarted by you; why are you still locked up?"

"See you act all high and mighty," The Kage Bunshin smirked, "But the fact is you too have fallen for the same trick! The Kage Bunshin special!"

"The Kage Bunshin?" Noire frowned.

"Shadow Clone?" Kei pursed her lips. "What do you mean?"

"It's a pretty cool technique," The clone smirked. "For example do you know you are in fact talking to one now? The real me is probably half way home by now."

"Okay so I turn left and…" The original Naruto froze as he walked back to his own cell. "Ah damn it."

"How?!" Noire glanced between the clone and the original.

"Damn it. This place is a maze!" Naruto groaned.

"That is a very impressive ability." Kei tapped her chin. "Is there a limit to the number of these clones you can make?"

"Heh," Naruto rubbed his nose, blushing slightly at the praise. "Well if you want to see it… Tajuu Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" Naruto formed the familiar hand seal and flooded the corridor with clones.

"W-what?!" Noire gasped. "There are so many!"

"Hehe," The original laughed. "With this my escape is all but ensured!"

There was a series of gun shots and a small number of the clones burst into smoke.

"What the hell?" Naruto blinked. "What kind of weapon is that?"

"I failed in my duty," Uni took aim again. "I will not do so again!" 'I'll never catch up to Onee-sama if I don't recapture the prisoner!'

"Scatter!" Naruto yelled as his clones fled down the corridor.

"Aren't you going to go anywhere?" Noire turned to the caged clone.

"Nah," He laid back. "I'm fine here thank you. GARGH!" The clone gasped in surprise as a sword embedded itself in his chest causing him to pop.

"Interesting," Kei sheathed her sword. "It appears that the clones are solid but can only take a single hit. With the rate he can produce them he could be a valuable asset for Lastation."

"He is a pervert!" Noire protested. "He… He groped me!"

"You say that his eyes were closed and that he made no movement when you met?" Kei asked.

"Well he was probably savouring t-touching me."

"Or maybe he was unconscious when he arrived?" Uni suggested. "He mentioned that he used a seal or something to travel here. Maybe powering that used all of his energy. He kept mentioning strange places like Konoha and Shinobi villages." 'Besides he did try and protect me from Onee-sama's disappointment. Maybe Ninja-san isn't such a bad person.'

"Shinobi?" Kei smiled softly. "He would be very valuable. If possible we should aim to take him alive."

"How?" Noire scowled. "His clones are completely identical to the real thing!"

"Easy," Kei responded. "The real one will bleed."

"…Okay…" Noire shivered slightly. "I'm counting on you Uni."

"R-right! I won't let you down." Uni bowed her head.

Elsewhere

"This place is a fricking maze," Naruto scowled as he wandered into a large area that seemed to house nothing but a small crystal that glimmered brightly. "Huh… that sure looks important." Naruto wandered up to the crystal. "Maybe I can use it to bargain with!" He reached out to pick it up but as soon as he touched it a strange energy arched through him causing him to spasm in pain.

"D-damn it!" Naruto groaned as he was assaulted by strange voices he had never heard before.

'Noire-sama is the best!'

'With the Black Heart protecting us we will never have to fear anything!'

'Black Heart-sama looks so sexy~'

'Uni-chan is cute too!'

"What the hell?!" Naruto cried out as the crystal launched him across the room, causing him to smash into the wall and slowly slump to the floor, his vision blurry.

"That is called the Shareacite. It contains the energy that the faith of the people of Lastation have for their Goddess and their CPU Candidates. You felt it didn't you? There unwavering love for Noire-sama and Uni-sama." A calm voice informed him and the strange boy who he had seen in the cell walked towards him. "Judging by the fact you didn't disappear when you struck the wall I'm guessing you are the real one."

"Who…" Naruto staggered to his feet, "Who are you?"

"My name is Kei Jinguji. I am the Oracle of Lastation. Think of me as the advisor to the Goddess if it makes things easier for you." Kei introduced herself. "And you are very lost. From what Uni-sama tells me, you are from another world."

"Sure looks that way," Naruto groaned as he tried to stand.

"I would be careful if I were you," Kei warned. "You've been exposed to a large amount of share energy. You may need medical assistance."

"Why should you care?"

"You have an interesting skill set that I feel would be beneficial to Lastation." Kei replied honestly.

"Well I'm sorry but I have no intention of working for anyone. I just want to get back home".

"I see…" Kei looked vaguely disappointed. "That is a shame. Then I suppose you'll have to pay for actions."

"What?"

"You did molest a Goddess," Kei pointed out. "With good behaviour I think you could get out of jail in say… 120,000,000 years… at the earliest."

"Urgh…" Naruto flinched. "All the more reason not to get caught!" He tried to run past Kei but collapsed on the floor. "Damn it…" He mumbled as his vision started to fade.

Later on

"Isn't this a little bit extreme," Naruto blinked. He was currently strapped to a table in his cell with so many bindings he looked like some sort of belt mummy.

"Until we know the limits of your abilities we figured it was best not to take any chances." Kei remarked.

"S-so!" Noire cleared her throat. "You are charged with molesting a goddess! How do you plead?"

"Not guilty."

"Denied!" Noire crossed her arms.

"W-what?" Naruto blinked. "What kind of a trial is this?"

"This isn't a trail," Kei informed him. "We are just deciding your punishment."

"So I'm guilty no matter what?" Naruto sighed.

"Pretty much," Uni smiled. "Onee-sama is the goddess after all."

"Who fixed me up?" Naruto asked.

"It was me." Noire declared.

"Why did you save me?"

"It's not like I wanted to," Noire looked away, "But we need you alive to try you and give you the death penalty." 'I definitely don't like the jerk who took my first kiss and saw me n-n-naked!' "The death penalty would be too good for you!" She blushed and yelled at the bound Naruto.

"…You saved me to kill me yourself?"

"I believe a different punishment would be more fitting," Kei opened a large book and placed it on a small table next to his.

"Let me see…" Noire looked at the book. "Is that even possible?"

"Indeed," Kei nodded.

"Very well." Noire smiled evilly.

"What is your name?" Kei turned to the restrained Shinobi.

"…Not telling." Naruto remarked. "It'll take more than two girls and a little boy to break me!"

"Boy?" Kei blinked. "There are three girls in here. You are the only boy in here."

"You're a girl?" Naruto blinked.

"I think we should escalate his punishment," Kei remarked dryly.

"Ah! I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you!" Naruto apology sounded genuine. "I wish I could make it up to you but I am kind of about to be executed you know?"

"You wish to make amends? We have a deal then, Ninja-san." Kei placed a black collar around Naruto's neck, "This is a limiting collar. So long as you are wearing it Noire-sama can activate a surge of electricity that will cause you mild pain. It will also allow us to track you no matter where you are."

"You're putting a collar on me?" Naruto blinked.

"Your sentence is 25 Years. However I have decided to allow you the privilege of repaying your 'Debt to Society'." Noire smiled, "Be grateful I am a merciful Goddess."

"Eh?" Naruto blinked.

"Basically," Kei explained, "You will work off your prison sentence by doing odd jobs for us. Each job will carry a payment that will be translated into years and then deducted from your sentence. Once your sentence reaches 0, you have repaid your debt to society and your collar will be removed. Whilst you are working for us I will devote some of my efforts into finding you a way back home. Is that satisfactory?"

"That… That doesn't seem too bad." Naruto admitted. "I get to spend my time with a cute girl… Oh and you two," He gestured vaguely at Noire and Kei.

"Ten years extension!" Noire roared.

"Additional Sentence: +10 Years! 35 Years till freedom!" A chirpy voice declared from Naruto's collar.

"You… You can't do that!" Naruto protested weakly.

"She can as can I and Uni-sama," Kei informed Naruto. "We can also do this." She clicked her finger.

"Gargh!" Naruto felt as if someone had plugged him up to a power generator in Konoha. "You said mild pain!" Naruto cried out. "That was torture!"

"I may have underestimated the power," Kei remarked dryly. "Only Noire-sama and I have the power to reduce your sentence so seducing Uni-sama will not influence your situation positively."

"I'm not trying to seduce anyone!" Naruto protested as Kei removed his bindings. "So what kind of missions do I have to do?"

"I'm glad you asked." Kei smiled.

Some Time Later

"I regret everything," Naruto grumbled as he walked down a country road. It was bad enough that he had to wear the shock collar with a annoyingly cheerful voice, never mind that the person who was in charge of it was apparently a sadist. Every little thing he did seemed to result in him getting a shock. "Why are you here anyway? Couldn't you send Uni by herself or with Kei to teach me these things? It seems a tad overkill to send a Goddess to train me."

"I'm not hear because I want to be and I have no intention of you being left alone with Uni!"

"You act as if I am some sort of criminal who can't be trusted." Naruto mumbled.

"Technically you are," Uni pointed out.

"Well…" Naruto faltered.

"You should be grateful that I decided to oversee your tutorial!" Noire remarked haughtily.

"Tutorial? Don't you mean training or something?" Naruto grumbled. "

"As a Goddess," Noire ignored Naruto's question, "I have to defeat monsters in order to protect my people. This in turn earns me more of their respect and love, which generates more Share energy for me. However as powerful as I am, I can only be in one place at a time. That's where bounty hunters and the like come in. They fulfil requests in my name and get reimbursed for the time and effort. Of course you won't as you are a prisoner but you will get a reduced sentence."

"Lucky me," Naruto sighed. "So… What's the job?"

"The villagers in this area have reported a large amount of Dogoo passing through."

"The hell is a Dogoo?"

"It is a small slime like creature. Pretty much tutorial fodder."

"Okay?"

"Now then," Noire crossed her arms. "Our job is to defeat all the slimes."

"Seems simple enough." Naruto grinned as they left a forest. "Er… Then again…"

"Oh my…" Uni blinked.

"That… That is a lot of Dogoo…" Noire faltered slightly.

What was supposed to be a large open expanse of fields was a slowly moving sea of blue. Naruto could make out the small dog ears of the creatures as they ambled across the plains.

"Mission Parameters: Eliminate Dogoo threat to local produce!" Naruto's collar cheerfully chirped. "Reward: Sentence Reduction One Year!"

"A whole year?" Naruto grinned. "And all I have to do is eliminate the threat to local food? Doesn't that mean if I get all of them to leave that I will succeed?"

"That is correct." Kei's voice sounded over the collar.

"Argh?!" Naruto span around. "Where are you?"

"Your collar also acts a communication device allowing anyone to reach you who has a phone and the correct access code for your collar." Kei informed him.

"For a shock collar, this thing is sure multifunctional," Naruto remarked. "So… I have a cunning plan!" He calmly strolled towards the mass of slimes.

"Onee-sama," Uni bit her lip nervously, "Shouldn't we help him?"

"He seems confident he can handle it." Noire remarked. _'If not I'll help him out and then he will acknowledge that I am truly a Goddess. Not that I need that jerk's approval or anything.'_

"If you say so," Uni looked concerned. _'I feel bad for just watching Ninja-san but that is what Onee-sama wants…'_

"HEY!" Naruto waved at the sea of blue, causing them to stop and look at him. "Right then. I'm going to have to ask you to leave okay? Otherwise I'll have to kill you all apparently. Look I know it seems harsh but that's what the boss wants and if I don't do what she wants she'll punish me." He bent down to one of the Dogoo nearest him. "You're kind of cute actually. I'm going to name you Kichi Mark II." He patted the dog slime. "Kichi Mark II?" He blinked as the slime retreated to another slime then absorbed it. This process went on until there was only one slime, although it was a titan of a slime at that. "Er… That is… Urgh… Good boy?"

"Onee-sama!" Uni gasped.

"That idiot!" Noire sighed. "I don't know why Kei wanted him to live. He is clearly useless and he… he took my…" Noire blushed crimson. _'Gah! Why do I feel so light headed whenever I think about that kiss?!'_

"I have to help him!" Uni declared. _'He did stand up for me and I don't think he is the bad person Onee-sama seems to think he is.'_

"It's eating me?!" Naruto cried out in alarm as the slime batted him into the air and swallowed him. He could see Noire and Uni racing towards him. _'Damn it. I can't look so uncool in front of the girls. They'll never give me any good jobs and allow me to pay off my bill in a decent time if I look bad in front of them!'_ HE summoned another clone in the slime's stomach and the two started to form a Rasengan that started to draw in the slime creature. _'It's working!'_ Naruto thought smugly. The rasengan grew as it took more and more of the sludge in, sucking it up like a vacuum cleaner until only Naruto and the giant slimy blue rasengan remained.

"That… That was actually impressive," Noire admitted. _'Maybe… Maybe this guy isn't a complete waste of space.'_

"He's quite strong." Uni agreed. _'I wonder if I can get him to teach me to do that. Then maybe I could stand beside Onee-sama instead of behind her…'_

"Impressed huh?" Naruto smirked and released the rasengan, not taking into account that his chakra was the only thing stopping the spiralling sludge from behind thrown everywhere and as soon as he stopped the jutsu it was like jelly in a blender with the top taken off. The slime went everywhere. "Er… Oops." Naruto laughed weakly.

"You… You…" Noire growled as she wiped the slime from her face. "You idiot!"

"Sorry!" Naruto ran towards them, "Here let me clean you Gargh!" He gargled as Noire activated the collar.

"So that's your plan is it? Get us all dirty then wipe us down? G-groping us as you clean us?" Noire accused.

"Mission Cleared! Yahoo!" The collar cheered. "Sentence Reduction: 1 Year. 34 Years till freedom!"

"Ten years extension!" Noire ordered. "For your evil perverted plan!"

"But… But…" Naruto's shoulders slumped.

"Naughty boy!" The collar chastised him. "Sentence Extension: 10 Years! 44 Years until freedom!"

"Life sucks…" Naruto sighed.

"If it counts for anything, you were kind of cool back then." Uni mumbled with a blush on her face.

"Pardon?"

"It's nothing!" Uni stormed off.

"Did… Did I do something wrong?!" Naruto glanced at the sky. "Give me a clue somebody!"

"Hmmm…" Kei's voice sounded thoughtful. "Since you are in the area there is another elimination mission that requires someone strong. I believe you may have a chance of succeeding."

"What's the sentence reduction?"

"Your Debt to Society will be reduced by ten years."

"Ten years?" Naruto cheered up. "Which way?"

"The tracking system in your collar suggests that you are approximately fifteen minutes from the large mountains to the north. If you head there you will find a cave with a creature in it. This creature is an elder dragon. I believe you should at the very least be able to repel the creature."

"Awesome," Naruto smirked. "But aren't you worried that I will try and escape?"

"So long as you are in this dimension the collar will continue to work," Kei remarked, "And that means…"

"ARGH!" Naruto fell to the floor twitching.

"I can activate the shock function regardless of where you are." Kei finished. "So long as you honour our agreement and work hard I will have no need to motivate you."

"I DIDN'T NEED MOTIVATING THEN!" Naruto yelled at the collar.

"I felt a demonstration was called for, to dissuade you from any further thoughts of breaking our deal."

"When I give my word I keep it." Naruto stated. "I never go back on my word. That's my Nindo, my ninja way."

"Huh," Kei sounded mildly impressed. "It appears I misjudged you."

"Eh?"

"It's nothing." Kei went silent.

"So… this way?" Naruto asked.

"Loading… Loading… New Mission Loaded! Yay!" The collar chirped.

"I get a feeling I am going to hate you before long," Naruto sighed.

"New Mission Objective: Repel the Elder Dragon From Lastation Territory!" The collar continued, "Warning this creature is an S-Ranked Monster! Make sure to stock up on Health potions and are a high enough level for this quest! Follow the quest indicator to find the target!" A strange glowing sphere appeared in front of him and started to travel away, before pausing as if waiting for him to follow it.

"…What?" Naruto blinked.

"Press Triangle to open the fast travel menu!"

"Shut up," Naruto growled as he started running after the orb.

If there was one thing that amused Naruto, it was the fact that Lastation was a green and vibrant land yet the main city was a cluster of futuristic looking buildings and smoky factories. Of the two Naruto much preferred the countryside although that was possibly as the only time he had been out of his cell in the city was when he was frogmarched out by Noire and Uni. That and the tree and forestry reminded him of the home he had left behind.

The forests soon started to thin out and Naruto noticed the temperature dropping. He approached a small range of mountains.

"My screens show you are getting close to the border of Lowee and Lastation." Kei's voice sounded over his collar. "Lowee is much colder than Lastation and as such the border is a little cold. Don't worry though. When the elder dragon tries to incinerate you with its breath you'll be perfectly warm."

"…That's not reassuring."

"Hmm… Did I say it wrong? That was supposed to be a joke to raise your morale."

"Your tone didn't change. If you are going to tell a joke at least let the tone of your voice change to give me a hint."

"Oh… I see." Kei paused. "I will take that into consideration."

"So you get dragons here often?"

"No. This one was located deep in a mountain range in Lowee and attacked some merchant conveys. The Goddess of Lowee engaged the creature but was unable to land a decisive blow before the creature fled over the boundary. There is a small chance that the Goddess may have pursued the creature into Lastation territory. If so you are not to engage and return to Lastation."

"Right you are," Naruto grumbled, "I'm not that keen to get between a Goddess and a dragon."

"Huh. You do possess some intelligence then. I was wondering given your repeated attempts to rile up Noire-sama."

"Well she started it." Naruto remarked. "Calling me a pervert and locking me up in a cell!"

"Try to understand," Kei stated calmly, "You did take her first kiss. That is important for a girl."

"I guess I could try and apologise," Naruto admitted. "I mean it isn't as if I meant to do it…"

Before Kei could reply a deafening roar sounded throughout the air.

"Target Creature nearby!" The collar chirped.

"You reckon?" Naruto grumbled as he ran towards the mountains where the sound had come from. There he found a cave that looked as if it had been made by burning through the stone with a focused intense heat. "Well…" Naruto felt the heat radiating from the walls. "I'm guessing I found its lair. Hey… Maybe it has a hoard of treasure."

"Unlikely. The Dragon has only been here for a week. It is highly unlikely it would have gathered substantial treasure reserves in that time."

"Well…" Naruto grinned. "Let's go kick some dragon ass!"

Several Moments Earlier

"Tch," The goddess of Lowee, Blanc or as she was also known White Heart scowled as she dodged the desperate lunge of the wounded dragon. She had chased it from her territory but she couldn't face Noire at the meeting in a month's time if Noire had to clean up after Blanc failed to deal with the dragon. "Why don't you just piss off and die!" A powerful swing of her axe struck the creature in the side of its head, causing the creature to slam into the wall and knock rubble free. "You think I'm going to fucking lose to such a weakling?"

The large dragon lumbered around sluggishly. Its four legs struggled to find purchased as the furious goddess advanced on it. Its large head snapped at her and it lashed its tail at her but the Goddess batted aside the futile attacks.

"You coulda just stayed put in the mountains but you had to mess with my shit." White Heart pointed her axe at the dragon who lashed out with its tail, knocking up the debris around it and firing it towards Blanc.

"That all ya got ya shitty midboss?" White heart scowled as strange red stone struck her in the forehead. "Ouch that fucking hurt! Eh? What the hell?" In a small explosion of light, the powerful goddess White Heart found herself back in her normal form. "W-what the hell?" She rolled under the dragon's heat breath. "So you turned the tables did you?" Blanc narrowed her eyes. _'This is bad!'_

The dragon sensing that its luck was changing, lunged at her and let out a deafening roar.

"I can't believe I am going to be killed by an oversized lizard," Blanc raised her hammer to deflect the fierce slash of the creature only the attack never landed. "What the…" She trailed off.

"Holy hell this is a big lizard." Naruto grit his teeth as he struggled against the beast's claw armed with a kunai.

"Elder Dragon Tiamat." His collar chirped. "This S-Ranked Monster has a fire breath that is excess of 10,000 degrees Centigrade and has scales that can deflect most standard weapons. Known Attacks: Thermal Lance, Claw Slash and Deafening Roar. Attack and Defence both incredibly high. Suggested Plan of Attack: Don't."

"… Seriously I am going to get Kei to mute you." Naruto groaned.

"Who… Who are you?" Blanc blinked.

"I'm a Ninja here to save you." Naruto winked.

"I… I don't need your help." Blanc scowled.

"I recognise that voice," Kei remarked. "Retreat."

"Like hell I'm leaving a cute girl to get killed by that dragon!" Naruto growled.

"Cute?" Blanc blinked.

"Well yeah," Naruto raised an eyebrow before rolling out of the way of a fierce slash.

"Like a little kid I bet you sick shit," Blanc growled. "All small and meek?!"

"Like a child?" Naruto blinked. "Why would I think that?"

"Well…" Blanc looked at her lacking chest.

"What? Breasts?" Naruto snorted with derision. "The girl I like has practically a flat chest and a fiery temper!

"Eh?!" Blanc blinked. _'Does he mean… me?! Is this one of those love at first sight moments that I've written about but never experienced?!'_ She was so lost in her thoughts that she never saw the attack coming at her.

"Look out!" Naruto pushed her to the side and was struck clean across his back, the dragon's claws ripping through his clothes and scoring deep wounds across his black.

"Eh? Why'd you do that?" Blanc looked at the wounded Naruto.

"Tch," Naruto pulled himself to his feet. "There's no way in hell I'm letting you get hurt."

' _That… That unwavering desire to save me and the declaration that the girl he loves has a flat chest and a temper… Could it really be?'_ Blanc blinked. _'I… I don't know what to do?!'_

"So let's do this you flying crocodile!" Naruto created a clone and formed a rasengan, charging the dragon that opened its mouth.

' _Here goes nothing!"_ Naruto thought as he thrust the Rasengan at the creatures jaw, forcing its mouth shut in a shower of sparks as his Jutsu tried to grind its way through the monster's scales. While dealing no damage, he did manage to redirect the thermal lance the dragon was launching through the roof, causing the cave to start to collapse around them.

"Crap!" Naruto hightailed it out, grabbing the stunned Blanc's hand and pulling her outside.

"I…" Blanc looked at the floor. "Thanks…" She looked up at Naruto.

"Don't mention IIIITTT!" Naruto cried out in surprise as the dragon flew out the cave grabbing his head in its claws and flying into the air. "I REGRET NOTHING!" He declared as Blanc watched him get carried off.

"Shit," Blanc cursed. "That fucking lizard ruined my moment!" She glanced at her arm. "Why can't I transform?" She watched Naruto get carried away into the sunset. "Shit…" She mumbled as she started to long walk back. Without her transformation powers she couldn't do anything. Still she had a feeling that she couldn't quite place. A feeling she would be seeing that boy again soon, in the meantime she decided to make a stop at a small vendor stall to buy souvenirs for her little sisters, Rom and Ram.

"Chu!" A small mouse exclaimed as he watched the Goddess leave.. "That was lucky! I didn't know how to explain to the old hag that one of the crystals was in a dragon's hoard and a Goddess was in the way but now I don't have to." It stared at the strange stone. "Maybe she will start to realise how useful I am!" It paused. "Probably not though chu."

With Naruto.

"LET GO OF ME!" Naruto squirmed as the dragon kept a firm grip on his head.

"Mission Updated! Dragon is leaving Lastation Territory. Return To Lastation for your reward! You are almost free of your Debt to society! Only 34 Years to go after this quests completion!"

"HOW THE HELL AM I ALMOST FREE?!" Naruto roared at the collar.

"Well… You are probably going to die and be freed from your earthly bonds!" The collar replied.

"All of my hate." Naruto squirmed and gave out a cry of relief when he managed to pull himself free. "Ahaha!" Naruto laughed as he started to fall. "Hey wait… My forehead protector!" He glanced at the dragon's claw and saw his trust headgear still stuck on the dragon's claw. "Noooo!"

"If I might interject," Kei calmly interrupted him, "My sensors show you are approximately 4000 feet above the ground and falling quickly. I would believe that to be a bigger concern than your missing headgear."

"Huh?" Naruto turned to see he was plummeting towards Lastation, more precisely a strange green crystalline structure that Naruto recognised as the area where Noire lived. "Oh nononononono!" Naruto started flapping his arms wildly. "This is not happening!"

"Launching interceptor missiles," Kei remarked.

"W-what?" Naruto blinked as countless missiles screamed out of Lastation towards him. "WHY?!"

"If you are a real ninja then just run across the missiles to the ground." Kei stated. "I would have thought for a ninja that would be easy."

"Oh yeah, we do this training exercise all time!" Naruto yelled at his collar.

"So it should be child's play then." Kei's voice cut off as if she had hung up.

"That… That…" Naruto bit his lip. "Oh well… Here goes nothing!" Naruto reached out and used his charka to try and stick to the missile but only succeeded in detonating it. Fortunately the blast was not very powerful but it did serve to cause Naruto to alter his trajectory slightly, straight into the path of another missile. "This sucks!" Naruto cried out as the explosions altered his course.

Elsewhere

"Aah!" Uni smiled as she washed herself in the shower.

"Don't be too long," Noire warned her. "That perverted Ninja is due back any moment now."

"Onee-sama," Uni paused and turned to look at her towel clad sister. "I don't think Ninja-san is a bad person."

"He is a ninja," Noire pointed out. "Deception is in his nature! He is probably waiting for you to lower your guard then he will pounce like a hungry monster!"

"I don't think so." Uni mumbled as she continued bathing. _'After all he did try and stand up for me.'_

She washed her hair and thought more about the strange ninja. He had some strange powers that interested her but seemed to be a decent enough sort. She ran her finger her through her hair and sighed as she stared at herself in the mirror. As with most things, Uni felt she was sorely lacking compared to her sister.

Her sister's hair was shinier that hers and her figure was shapelier.

"If only I was half as pretty as Onee-sama." Uni sighed sadly.

"I HATE THIS PLACE!" A familiar voice yelled.

"Ninja-san?" Uni paused in her self-evaluation.

There was an explosion and the roof seemed to fall around her but more important to Uni was the half-naked and slightly singed Naruto heading towards her with tears in his eyes.

"Ninja-sa-" She was cut off by the ninja in question crashing into her and bringing the shower curtain down with them until the naked Uni and almost naked Naruto were wrapped up in the shower curtain, Naruto with a hand on her breast and the other on her rear. His leg was stuck between hers and was dangerously close to her private garden but he couldn't pull away thanks to the shower curtain forcing them together.

"S-sorry." Naruto whispered.

"Uni are you…" Noire raced into the room, sword in hand.

"Er…" Naruto grinned awkwardly. "Hey there."

"…" Noire's eyes were covered by her hair as she stared at the floor. "This is honestly not what it looks like right?" He turned to Uni.

"…Your touching my…" Uni mumbled.

"Ah sorry!" Naruto tried to move away but his leg stimulated a certain area earning a soft moan from Uni who then went bright red with tears in her eyes.

"S-sorry!" Naruto managed to untangle himself but Uni ran away, clutching the shower curtain to herself with tears in her eyes. "So… Let me guess. I'm going to be executed then?"

"One billion years extension!" Noire yelled as she triggered his shock collar.

"Another extension you naughty boy! You have [Error Number to Large] Years till freedom!" His collar chirped before triggering an electric shock.

"Gargh!" Naruto cried out in pain as Noire stormed out of the room. "I deserved that…" He remembered the tear streaked face of Uni and walked out of the bathroom. "Hey Kei?"

"…Yes?"

"Can you direct me to Uni? I need to apologise to her."

"… I doubt she wants to see you but I suppose I can do that much as compensation for overestimating your abilities."

"You sent a salvo of fireworks at me," Naruto grumbled. "I've never had to deal with anything like that before."

"I thought ninja were trained to deal with the unexpected, Ninja-san."

Naruto decided not to respond (She could increase his punishment or activate his collar after all). The glowing orb that had lead him to the cave appeared and he followed it until he found a room that had a cute little sign saying 'Uni's Room' on it. He knocked cautiously. "Uni?"

"Go away!"

"I'm just here to say sorry." Naruto paused at the door. "I know that must have been pretty bad for you. A cute girl like that suddenly being pinned on the floor by someone like me. I want you to know that I didn't intend to get in that sort of a situation with you."

"You probably thought it was Onee-sama in there right?"

"What?" Naruto shook his head furiously (Not that Uni could see that). "Not at all! Of the two of you I'm glad it was you. N-not that I would do that!" Naruto quickly clarified. "I mean I would not force myself on anyone like that! I mean… Unless they wanted me to or something and oh my god I am rambling." Naruto shut up. "I'll be quiet now. If there is anything I can do to make things right then just ask!"

"Ninja-san?"

"Yes?"

"…I've… I've got a request…"

"Oh?"

"Will you teach me how you do that spirally orb attack?"

"It's kind of a family heirloom." Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "Why do you want to learn it?"

"I… I'm so weak compared to Onee-sama. I can't even transform."

"Transform?" Naruto blinked. "Oh I think I remember Noire's hair going white or something."

"She is a Goddess and she can transform into a Goddess. As a CPU candidate I should be able to transform." Uni looked down. "But I can't."

"I see," Naruto grinned at her. "I'm sure one day you will be able to."

"Thanks," Uni went to close the door but paused. "And Ninja-san?"

"Yes?"

"May I ask your name?"

"…I'm not planning on staying long," Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "My old teacher used to tell me not to give my name to people I'm planning on leaving as it makes things harder." _'Although I'm pretty sure he meant about the girls he was sleeping with although he kind of has a distinctive appearance so I doubt they need his name.'_

"Ah…" Uni nodded. "I guess as soon as your sentence is paid you'll be heading back to your own dimension."

"That's the plan." Naruto pulled a face. "And the sooner I'm away from that Sadistic goddess the better."

"Er…" Uni smiled weakly.

"Sadistic am I?" Noire growled.

"…Oh come on." Naruto slumped.

"They you must be a masochistic!" Noire declared as she activated his shock collar.

"Why me?!" Naruto cried out in pain.

...

(well everyone read and review saying what you thought of the first chapter and dont forget to thank Drake wilson for his work on this story andif you have any ideas please send me a PM and ill listen to it and ill tell youif i will use it and if I do i will put that it was your idea when it appears so you would get the credit ok. well evryone read and review)


	2. Meeting Neptune

Meeting Neptune

A/N: here is chapter 2 special thanks goes to Drake Wilson for his continuation of writing the ideas I send him into a story thanks Drake Wilson now everyone read and review he more reviews the happier me and Drake Wilson will be

Ps when you post your review name the girl you think naruto should have the first lemon with later on in the story the 3 girls you can choose from is Uni Noire and Blanc so choose which one should get the first lemon with naruto (it won't happen for a while but I thought I should hear the readers opinioopinion. So who will the lucky winner be will it be Uni Or Blanc Or Noire start saying who it should be in your reviews

Well that's all for the authors note I thank drake Wilson once more and now let the chapter commence

Disclaimer: I don't own naruto or hyperdimension neptunia I wish I did and so does Drake Wilson

Chapter 2:

"I hate this place…" A miserable Naruto trudged his way down a well beaten street.

"You are ten minutes from your next checkpoint!" A chirpy voice called from his collar.

"Urgh…" Naruto groaned as he clutched his stomach. "I'm so hungry… Why couldn't Noire give me extra food? I mean I did all the jobs that she asked off me…" He frowned. "It isn't my fault that every mission I ever have seems to escalate badly out of control."

The first mission had been a simple delivery. He had to deliver a package to some scientists on the outskirts of Lastation which seemed simply enough. However on his way there he came across a young girl who was lost. After calming her down with his patented 'Hokage Smile' he then helped her get back home only to find out that the village she lived in was being attacked by a giant bird creature. After saving the village (and sitting through the three hour celebration for the village being liberated) Naruto made his way to where the delivery was to be made only to find the lab had been raided by bandits and the professor needed him to track down and beat up the bandits until they dropped various boxes of goods and bring them back, which Naruto did without complaint.

When he had returned to Lastation Noire had penalised him for taking too long to make a simple delivery.

The second mission was an escort mission. A small merchant caravan needed escorting out of Lastation. It had nothing of overwhelming value on it so Naruto was told it would be a simple mission even he couldn't mess up. Ten minutes into the journey a literal army of Dogoo swarmed the caravan and no matter how many clones he made, the Dogoo had him outnumbered. Despite the overwhelming odds he managed to get the caravan to its destination with no casualties and the majority of the cargo was intact.

Kei had penalised him for damaged goods during the fight.

This repeated for quite a few jobs until Naruto and his clones had officially completed every request on the Lastation board which lead to his current situation.

 _Earlier that Day…_

Naruto sat in his cell waiting for his food to be delivered.

"Prisoner," Two female guards opened his cell and put down a tray, making sure to keep their distance from him. When he looked at him they covered themselves as if they expected him to have X-ray vision and was currently eying their naked bodies.

' _Just what has Noire told them?'_ Naruto wondered to himself.

"Your food for today," They removed the cover from the tray and quickly ran out of the cell, locking it behind them.

"Is that Ramen?!" Naruto blinked.

"Oracle-sama believed that your work ethic was to be applauded and decided you would be fed a treat."

"Be gracious that Black Heart-sama has overlooked your beastly antics!"

"Yatta!" Naruto cheered as the guards left him alone. He glanced around before opening up his jacket and taking a small dogoo out of it. "It's dinner time Kichi!"

The strange slime dog creature merely slithered over to the ramen and instantly devoured it.

"Ah…" Naruto blinked. "Kichi… How could you betray me like this?!" He fell to his knees wailing. "The Ramen… Oh why did it have to be the Ramen?!"

"Is something the problem?" Noire's voice called out, followed by the sound of footsteps and Naruto hurriedly hid his pet Dogoo in his outfit again.

"Oh nothing," Naruto smiled, although it was clear to anyone that he was heartbroken about something.

"Okay…" Noire paused uncertainly. "Was the ramen not to your liking? We," She gestured to Kei who was stood with her, "Agreed that it would be a good reward."

"Oh I'm sure it was amazing." Naruto mumbled. "I don't suppose I could have another bowl."

"Maybe if you do well on your next mission I might let you," Noire conceded.

"Another mission?" Naruto blinked. "I've only just gotten back from the last one!"

"I know," Kei cut in, "But Noire-sama and I have been discussing the possibility of you being allowed to… personalise your cell."

"Personalise?"

"You know with a TV and stuff like that," Noire crossed her arms.

"How about a pet?"

"No pets," Noire shook her head.

"Oh…" Naruto sighed sadly. _'Looks like I'll have to keep sacrificing some of my food to Kichi…'_ "So what's the mission?"

"Well," Noire looked proud with herself. "You see not all countries are governed as well as Lastation. Between Kei, my sister and I we are able to keep it running smoothly. Your assistance has also been quiet useful." Noire added as an afterthought. "There are other countries run by… less talented Goddesses that sometimes need a little help."

"Ah I see," Naruto nodded. "Back home sometimes a different ninja village would ask Konoha for help if they weren't strong enough to do the mission themselves."

"Precisely," Noire nodded, "So earlier today we received a request to help Planeptune out."

"Planeptune?" Naruto tilted his head.

"Indeed. You are to head there and help them fulfil a job dealing with some bandits that have popped up on their outskirts." Noire looked smug. "Due to their goddess' lax attitude to her job they have a bandit problem. You would never find Lastation in such a state and I have no doubt you will show her how a Lastation citizen is superior to her own in every aspect!"

"Er… Aren't I technically a prisoner?"

"Actually," Kei coughed, "As a prisoner you have the same rights as a Lastation citizen."

"Oh," Naruto brightened, "Doesn't that mean I have the right to eat more food?"

"Of course," Kei nodded. "But you have to pay for it."

"But I have no money!"

"That's a shame," Kei tilted her head. "Maybe we could work something out. How about an extra ten years for a half serving of ramen?"

"You are a cruel woman!" Naruto pointed a finger at her.

"I was joking," Kei frowned. "Could you not tell?"

"But your tone never changed…" Naruto blinked.

"It is quite difficult to tell when you are joking," Noire admitted.

"Hmm… I see." Kei nodded. "It appears I need to work harder on being social. On a side note it is nice to see the two of you getting along."

"Eh?!" Noire pointed at Naruto furiously. "Me?! Getting along with this pervert?!"

"Why the hell would I want to get along with her? She's sadistic and evil and she's quite possible the last person alive I would want to get along with!"

"R-really?" Noire blinked.

' _Ah crap,'_ Naruto braced himself for an electric shock that never came.

"You should go on your mission," Noire spoke softly before running away with tears in her eyes. _'Why… Why does it hurt that he thinks of me like that?'_

"Er…" Naruto glanced at Kei who was shaking her head disappointedly. "What?"

"I may not know much about social activities," Kei replied calmly. "But do you know how many people Noire-sama socialises with?"

"Er… Quite a few I guess?" Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "She is always going on missions bathing in the adoration of her public," Naruto sighed. "I'm kind of jealous of her to be honest. Back home I couldn't do anything right in the eyes of my betters. They hated me for something beyond my control and no matter what I did, it was never good enough."

"In Lastation there is Uni-sama, me and you." Kei stated. "We are the only people she genuinely gets to talk to as herself. Not as some all-powerful goddess or benevolent ruler. When she talks to us she is just Noire."

"That doesn't change the fact she uses that shock bracelet at the drop of a hat." Naruto countered.

"She is a little trigger happy but that doesn't change that she genuinely is fond of you. She speaks of you often."

"She has an odd way of showing it," Naruto grumbled as he scratched his neck around the collar.

"Besides if it bothered you so much why do you still wear the collar?" Kei challenged.

"Eh?" Naruto looked incredibly guilty.

"I know you found a way to remove the collar without triggering the self-destruct mechanism." Kei remarked calmly.

"Oh that?" Naruto laughed weakly. On one mission he had used his sexy Jutsu to try and convince the shopkeeper in an Otaku store to give him a special cosplay that was limited edition as part of a mission for some Lady Eroin who had put the request on the bounty board. The collar had come lose with the slimmer neckline of the sexy form. Holding the collar off of his body, Naruto had used a substitution to swap places with a clone, putting the collar on the clone and leaving him free of it. He tended to keep it on so that if he ever needed to escape, there was less chance of the girls knowing he could remove it. At least that was the plan. "W-well," Naruto laughed awkwardly. "If I didn't have it on… I figured you guys wouldn't trust me."

"I don't understand."

"Well Noire and Uni seem to be nervous around me," Naruto pointed out. "How'd you think they'd feel if they knew that the only control they had over me didn't work."

"Point taken," Kei tilted her head, "So you do understand how girls feel sometimes?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," Kei smiled.

"Huh," Naruto crossed his arms. "So you can smile after all. You know… you kind of look good smiling. You should do it more."

"Seducing me won't lower your sentence," Kei responded with a slight flush on her cheeks.

"I can't even give a compliment without people suspecting I'm up to something. Though can you tell me something? Why aren't you worried about me if you know that I can remove my collar?"

"When we first me you were able to escape from your cell when it was left unguarded." Kei remarked. "You now only have a guard on you when your food is delivered yet you haven't tried to escape."

"I gave you my word didn't I?" Naruto cleared out his ear. "I promised I would repay my debt and I have no intention of going back on my words. That is my Nindo, my ninja way."

"Heh," Kei shook her head and walked away. "Maybe you are a worthy man after all."

"Worthy?"

"Nothing," Kei paused. "Some guards will deliver you some basic supplies and escort you to the main road to Planeptune. Remember Lastation's name rides on your success."

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto leaned against the wall of his cell. "I just can't get a reading on that girl," He sighed and sat down. "Urgh… Now I'm really hungry." He laid back and shut his eyes unaware of a silent Uni who had heard everything he said.

 _Back to the present_

"And I can't even eat the supplies I was given because someone ate them first," He shot a glare at the backpack on his shoulder, where a slightly larger and sleeping Dogoo could be seen poking out of the top. "Serious Kichi… You just don't stop eating do you?"

The sleeping slime started snoring, a large snot bubble expanding and shrinking from its nose.

"Urgh…" Naruto groaned as his stomach protested against its emptiness. "Damn it… I can't go on…" Naruto fell to the floor, Kichi rolling out of his open pack and waking as the snot bubble burst. "Go on without me…" Naruto groaned as Kichi stared at him before suddenly bouncing away, "Wait! I WAS BEING DRAMATIC!" Naruto yelled at the fleeing slime. "D-damn it…" Naruto groaned.

Not so far away

"Aha!" A young girl with short, light purple hair cheered. She adjusted her lilac hoodie so that it fell down just below her hips and knee high white and blue socks. She idly brushed her fringe from her eyes and adjusted a strange d-pad hair clip on both sides of her hair before announcing proudly, "This looks like the perfect place to set up a picnic!" She nodded with her hands on her hips.

"Nee-chan…" Another girl followed her. Unlike the first this one had longer, lilac hair that fell to her hips and only one d-pad hair clip. Her bright purple eyes followed her older sister as she danced around in the field of flowers cheerfully. She sat down, adjusting her white dress that stopped just above her knee length purple and white socks. "She is certainly happy today."

"Probably because she managed to dump all her work, again," A third girl joined the group. Unlike the two sisters she had long brown hair in with a green bow in it. She wore a long blue coat that looked slightly too big for the slender girl judging by the sleeves being too long for her with a black dress underneath it. "Histoire's probably foaming at the mouth right now… Not that I could blame her."

"Now everyone needs a little down time Iffy-chan" A cheerful a busty girl joined the group. She was wearing a large cardigan and a short tartan skirt as well as a black headband that held her long locks of cream pink hair.

"But in order to earn it you at least have to do some work first," The brunette sighed.

"Now, now!" The first girl laughed. "Now's not a time for work! The Four goddess meeting is coming up soon and that will be a time for work!"

"You say that but isn't Histoire writing your speech, the one bit of work you have to do, right now?"

"Man Iffy you worry too much," The first girl laughed.

"And you worry too little Nep," IF shook her head.

"Everything will work out, right Nepgear?" Neptune turned to look at her younger sister.

"Er… I'm sure it will," She smiled.

"See!" Neptune nodded sagely. "Now let's start eating! I hope you brought a lot of food because I am starved Compa-chan!"

"Hai!" The busty girl nodded. "Here let me see…" She put a large picnic box down. "I made sure to make everyone's favourites!"

"Hehehe!" Neptune's eyes glowed and her mouth-watered. "I've been waiting all day for this meal!"

"Hm," IF smiled slightly, "I have to admit walking here made me work up quite the appetite for some of your cooking Compa."

"I'm sure it will be amazing," Nepgear added her thoughts.

"Well… Oh hello Mr Dogoo." Compa smiled at the blue slime who bounced towards them and stopped. "Can we help you?"

"Isn't that a monster?" IF pointed out, "Where there is one there is usually a lot more. Maybe we should go elsewhere."

"It's by itself," Neptune waved her concerns off. "Maybe it's just hungry! Do you want some food?" She held a sandwich out which the Dogoo ate energetically then bounced up and down.

"I think it is trying to tell us something." Nepgear frowned softly.

"Ooh!" Neptune kneeled down and picked it up. "What is it boy? Is there someone trapped in a well?"

The Dogoo slipped from her grasp and bounced towards Compa and the picnic basket.

"Oh do you want more Mr Dogoo?" Compa tilted her head.

"If you feed it, it will just want more," IF pointed out. "Dogoo are just nuisances."

"But my father always said all friends are nuisances."

"… I think you're misinterpreting exactly what he meant…" IF shook her head.

"Oh my Mr Dogoo…" Compa blinked as the slime slipped under the basket and bounced with it on its head. "That is for us too so you can't eat it all."

The Dogoo took off in a surprising burst of speed.

"Eh?!" Neptune blinked. "That Dogoo stole our picnic!"

"I told you to just chase it away," IF shook her head.

"Okay team!" Neptune pointed after the Dogoo. "We have to reclaim our lunch!"

"Right!" Nepgear jumped to her feet.

"I suppose a little light exercise would come in handy." IF stretched out.

"Oh my," Compa paused. "I hope Mr Dogoo isn't going to get hurt."

"Charge!" Neptune yelled as she chased after the fleeing monster.

"If only she put as much effort into her job as a Goddess." IF chuckled before taking after Neptune with Nepgear and Compa close behind.

Elsewhere

"So… this is it?" Naruto stared at the sky laid flat out on his back. "I can't even move and my only friend has abandoned me and…" Naruto was cut off by a cheerful Dogoo bouncing towards him, picnic basket on its head. "Kichi! I knew I could count on you!" Naruto sat up straight as the Dogoo skidded to a halt, the picnic basket falling on Naruto's lap. "Hey where did you get this?" Naruto ripped the top off. "Man it smells so good!" Naruto happily started stuffing his face with food. "It tastes so good…" Naruto's eyes were streaming tears. "You're the best Kichi!"

The Dogoo started bouncing.

"What is it boy? Did someone fall down a well?"

"Hah! That's what I said!"

"Huh?" Naruto turned to face the newcomers. "Can I help you?"

"That's our picnic you are eating!" Neptune pointed at Naruto.

"Oh? Sorry." Naruto laughed weakly. "See I was dying of starvation and Kichi here ran off to get me food."

"Kichi?"

"It's short for Gamakichi Mark Two." Naruto explained.

"Mark Two?!" Neptune's eyes shone. "Does he have multiple forms? Is this the legendary super slime?! Has he been upgraded with laser beam eyes?"

"Er… No…" Naruto laughed weakly.

"Well that's no fun," Neptune crossed her arms.

"I'm sorry about the food, here you can… Kichi?!" Naruto picked up the picnic basket to see it was empty besides a happily sleeping Dogoo. "Ahaha…" Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "Sorry looks like Kichi ate it all."

"That's sucks," Neptune looked sad, "I wasn't able to get the new game before it sold out because Histoire was lecturing me and now I don't even get to have the picnic I wanted."

"I'm really sorry," Naruto bowed.

"We were too late?" IF, Compa and Nepgear joined the bowing Naruto.

"Yeah," Neptune put her hands in the pockets of her hoodie, "Oh well. Not much can be done about it now."

"Who are you?" IF looked at Naruto.

"Me?" Naruto grinned, "I'm a ninja."

"A ninja?" Nepgear smiled. "That sounds amazing."

"Well I don't like to brag," Naruto rubbed the back of his head grinning, "But I'm going to be the Hokage someday, that's the leader of my ninja village."

"Ooh!" Nepgear beamed. "So Ninja have villages?"

"That's right," Naruto nodded.

"Hmmm…." Neptune looked at him critically. "You don't look like a ninja. You outfit is kind off… bright."

"It used to be worse," Naruto admitted. "How about I show you some Ninjutsu to prove it?"

"Oh that sounds fun Mr Ninja!" Compa smiled at him.

"Well it couldn't hurt," IF agreed, secretly curious about the abilities of this strange blonde man.

"Right!" Naruto formed a familiar hand seal, "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

"Cool!" Compa and Nepgear clapped as several solid clones appeared.

"Oh my," Compa smiled. "No wonder you were so hungry with so many mouths to feed."

"Eh?" Naruto blinked but decided not to comment. "So what do you think now?"

"Still not buying it!" Neptune pointed at Naruto, "You fake ninja!"

"F-fake?!" Naruto stepped backwards as the clones dispelled themselves. "I am so a real ninja!"

"Nuh-uh," Neptune shook her head. "If you were a real ninja then you wouldn't introduce yourself as one!"

"I'm off duty?"

"And you are missing the most important thing about being a ninja!"

"Which is?"

"The verbal tic!"

"Eh?"

"Ninja's end all their sentences with Nin-nin or with 'De Gozaru'. That's always the case in my manga!"

"…Seriously?" Naruto rubbed his forehead. "Real ninja don't have verbal tics."

"Yes they do."

"No they don't."

"They do."

"They don't!"

"Yes they do!"

"THEY DO NOT -TTEBAYO!"

"-Ttebayo?"

"Urgh…" Naruto flinched. _'I thought I had gotten rid of that stupid habit.'_

"He's a real ninja guys!" Neptune gave the others a thumbs up.

Naruto couldn't help it and face-faulted at the goddess' declaration.

"Anyway," IF shook her head with a smile. "What are you doing out here Ninja-san?"

"Oh I was headed towards Planeptune." Naruto stared off into the distance.

"Oh?" Neptune smiled proudly. "It's a fine place."

"Really?" Naruto frowned. "My boss told me it was run by an incompetent goddess who would rather laze around than do her job."

"Urgh…" Neptune flinched. "That's…"

"Not true?" IF tilted her head. "Well let's be honest you are kind of having a picnic when you should be working."

"Well…" Neptune laughed weakly. "I guess you got me there."

"Huh?" Naruto looked confused.

"Oh I'm Neptune!" Neptune made the peace sign at him. "I'm the goddess of Planeptune!"

"You're a goddess?" Naruto blinked. "You… are really different to Noire. I guess even goddesses come in many shapes and sizes."

"That's right!" Neptune nodded. "I mean there is Vert who is all like boom," She started cupping huge, invisible breasts. "Then there is Noire who is like hey!' The imaginary breasts shrunk, "And then there is me and Blanc who are like…" She started to pat her small chest. "But when I transform I go Wowza!" The imaginary breast grew large again.

"Er… Alright?" Naruto blinked.

"She takes a lot of getting used to Ninja-san," IF bowed her head.

"Don't be like that Iffy," Neptune laughed, "I'm great to get to know! Right sis?"

"Yes," Nepgear smiled softly.

"See!"

"Oh my Mr Ninja," Compa clapped her hands. "Would you like to join us on our picnic?"

"Er… Didn't Kichi (and myself) eat it all?"

"Oh no!" Compa pulled out an identical picnic basket. "I always make a spare in case of accidents!"

"Oh hoh!" Neptune gave her the thumbs up. "That's our Compa!"

"Where did that even come from?" Naruto blinked.

"I had it in my inventory screen. I also have about two hundred healing potions." She patted a small pouch and Naruto decided against continuing this line of questioning.

"I couldn't intrude… Not after eating your last one," Naruto admitted.

"Don't worry!" Compa smiled. "My father always said that more friends means more mouths to feed."

"Er…" Naruto blinked.

"She doesn't mean it how you think she does," IF assured him.

"Eh?" Compa blinked. "Does that have an ulterior meaning?"

"You can join us Ninja-san!" Neptune nodded. "Maybe you could tell us some super cool Ninja stories!"

"That sounds exciting," Nepgear nodded.

"Well… It couldn't hurt to have a bit of a story whilst we are eating."

"Right?" Neptune smiled widely. "Follow me!" Neptune raced back towards where they were originally sat only to find a group of bandits had taken over the small spot. "Hey! That's our spot!"

"Oh yeah?" One of the bandits leered at her. "And what are you going to do about it?"

"I'll show you!" Neptune transformed in a flash of light. "I would advise that you vacate the area." She idly pushed a lock of her deep purple hair from her face as she hovered above the ground in a skin tight black leotard with purple patterns. The outfit revealed the impressive increase in her cleavage and continued down her arms where it ended in two black gauntlets. Her legs unto the knees were also protected by the same black material.

"C-crap boss its Purple heart!"

"Withdraw!" The bandits squawked and fled.

"Wow… You look and sound different when you transform," Naruto noticed.

"Thank you Ninja-san," Neptune smiled as she landed beside them, her hair no longer short but now in two long twin tails that fell to her knees. Her entire aura was different, changing from innocent and cheerful to mature. With a burst of light she returned to her previous attire. "Man… transforming always make me hungry!"

"Are… Are they really the same person?" Naruto asked IF.

"I know, jarring isn't it?" IF smiled. "But yes they are the same person."

"Who wants sandwiches?" Compa called out.

"Oh. Me! Me!" Neptune jumped up and down until Compa passed her some after which she tore the wrapping from the sandwiches and wolfed them down. "Hehehe! Compa's food is the best!"

"Here you go GeGe," Compa handed a sandwich to the younger sister.

"Thank you," Nepgear smiled brilliantly as she accepted the sandwich, carefully removing the packaging and eating the sandwich calmly.

"How about you Iffy?"

"Thanks," IF accepted the sandwich and waited for Compa to pull out one of her own before eating it.

"What kind of sandwich would you like Ninja-san?" Compa smiled at him.

"I'm fine thanks," Naruto laughed uneasily. "I have to say though you are an amazing cook."

"Really?" Compa smiled. "Thank you Mr Ninja." Her earnest smile made Naruto blush slightly.

"Heh," Neptune rubbed her nose, "There's no greater cook in Gamindustri!"

"Why are you looking so proud about that?" IF shook her head. "But she is right. You said you knew Noire? I'm assuming that means you are from Lastation right?"

"Er… That's where I am currently housed yes," Naruto replied evasively.

"Then make the most of this rare opportunity. You'll find no one who can match her there." IF said no more and simply enjoyed her sandwich.

"Are you sure you don't want anything to eat Mr Ninja?" Compa smiled at him.

"I'm sure." Naruto smiled. "But thank you anyway."

"Are you really sure? I have all sorts of deserts like cake and pudding…" She paused as the pudding in her hand was swiped by an ecstatic Neptune, "I had pudding." She laughed, "But I still have some cake and ramen and I also have…"

"Did you say Ramen?"

"Yes," Compa pulled out a bowl of piping hot ramen.

"Ah… I shouldn't…" His mouth watered ignoring the part of his brain that was asking how he got an inventory screen.

"I insist." Compa handed him the bowl.

"Well if you insist…" Naruto separated some chopsticks Compa provided him with. "It's time to eat!"

Kichi took this as his cue to try and steal the bowl but Naruto was prepared for him this time.

"NOT SO FAST!" Naruto brought his elbow down on the slime, "It's all mine!" He cackled madly as he ate the meal slowly in front of the slime pinned under his arm.

"Er…" Neptune tilted her head. "If Kichi is a slime… Doesn't that mean he is slippery and can alter his shape to escape?"

"Eh?" Naruto blinked as Kichi did just that and devoured the remaining ramen. "Why?! Why is it always the ramen?!" He picked up the dogoo. "Why?"

Kichi responded by falling asleep, a large snot bubble shrinking and growing from his nose.

"Gah!" Naruto started to shake the slime which simply continued sleeping. "Betrayed…" Naruto wept. "Well at least I got a small taste this time."

"Er Mr Ninja?" Compa smiled. "I'm afraid I don't have any more ramen but I do have some chocolate cake. Would you care for a slice?"

"Nothing will warm this broken heart," Naruto took the slice of cake regardless. "Hey… This is amazing!"

"Oh my," Compa smiled. "You are too kind."

"Now then," Neptune pointed at Naruto, chocolate cake stains on her lips. "How are you going to repay me?"

"Repay you?" Naruto blinked.

"Yeah!" Neptune nodded. "You ate my picnic basket!"

"Well actually it was mine Nep-Nep."

"Bah, details," Neptune waved her hands off. "There was a super delicious pudding in that basket! I could sense it!"

"Strange power to have," IF shook her head.

"But… Compa-san had a spare one," Naruto blinked.

"You thought that got you off!" Neptune shook her head and tried to look commanding. "I am a Goddess so you should do what I say right?" She looked at her friends who were just sighing and shaking their heads. "What?" She glanced at Nepgear who had been subtly trying to draw Neptune's attention to the chocolate on her face. "Is something on my face?"

"You've got chocolate all over it," IF shook her head.

"Oh man!" She furiously wiped her face with her sleeve, "Now?"

"Better," Nepgear sighed.

"Awesome," Neptune nodded. "Now where was I? Oh right. Here's how you are going to make it up to me Ninja-kun!"

"I really should be making my way to Planeptune…" Naruto smiled weakly.

"I'll take you back myself!" Neptune declared. "After you help me!"

"Okay what do you want?"

"Well you remember how I mentioned that I wasn't able to get a game because Histy was lecturing me?"

"I have a vague recollection of you mentioning a game," Naruto nodded.

"Then…" Neptune pointed dramatically at Naruto, "Your mission is to get me a copy of that game!"

"I thought you said it was sold out, besides I don't have much money," Naruto turned his pockets inside out revealing some dust.

"Well use your ninja skills!" Neptune crossed her arms.

"You want me to steal it from someone?"

"Well…" Neptune looked guilty, "I happen to know that Histy had bought me a copy of the game but is sending it elsewhere to hold ransom until I rehearse the speech."

"So she is basically making you earn it?" Naruto asked.

"I know! She's a real tyrant!" Neptune's eyes went large and watery.

"There, there," Nepgear hugged her big sister.

"So who is this Histy then?" Naruto asked, imagining a giant ogre wielding a club.

"She is Planetpune's oracle." IF informed him. "Her real name is Histoire."

"Oh…" Naruto was suddenly struck by an image of a blank faced Kei holding the remote to his shock collar. "Yeah I know about them."

"Oh?" Neptune grabbed his hands, hope in her eyes. "If you understand the horror of the Oracles then you know you must help me."

"Well…" Naruto paused expecting to here Kei's voice lecturing him but nothing came from his collar. "I guess."

"Yahoo!" Neptune jumped for joy. "Alright everybody! It's time for a secret mission –ninin."

"Ready and willing –de gozaru!" Compa saluted her.

"I regret this decision instantly." Naruto sighed.

Elsewhere

Noire sighed happily as she relaxed in the large open air bath. "This is the life."

"It's nice to take a little down time every now and again," Uni agreed.

"…My time would be better suited dealing with Lastation's issues rather than sat bathing," Kei remarked.

"Come on," Uni smiled, "Even Onee-sama takes the odd bit of time off."

"What do you mean 'even Onee-sama.'?" Noire crossed her arms over her bust.

"Well…" Uni laughed weakly. "You do tend to spend almost all of your time working. You are either out on a mission or doing paper work…"

"It is my duty," Noire replied.

"But you do have two people you can count on to help you." Uni nodded. "Three if you include Ninja-san."

"Him?" Noire fidgeted. "I doubt I can count on him. He doesn't seem to like me very much." She sank down in the bath until she was submerged up to her chin. "He hasn't even told me his real name."

"In his defence you are his jailor." Uni pointed out. "And you are a little too eager to shock him."

"You think so?" Noire looked conflicted. "It isn't like I enjoy torturing him but every time I see him I remember…" She remember the feel of his lips as he fell out of the portal and the strange tingling in her chest as his hand played with her breast and… "Arrgh!" She shook her head and slapped her cheeks to try and calm herself down.

"I see," Kei tilted her head. "The first time you met still bothers you?"

"Well… He took my first kiss," Noire mumbled.

"Why not start over fresh?" Kei suggested.

"Start over fresh?" Noire frowned. "I don't know if I can do that."

"You can at least try," Uni pointed out. "I don't think that Ninja-san is a bad person."

"Well…" Noire sighed. "I guess I can give it a try."

"That is all I can ask Noire-sama." Kei bowed her head. "As a peace offering it would be wise to give him something that he likes. Maybe some ramen perhaps."

"I did notice Ninja-san appears to have lost his headband that he used to wear," Uni tilted her head. "Maybe we should make him a new one."

"That sounds like a good idea. Where is he anyway?" Noire looked at Kei.

"I don't know," Kei shrugged. "Since I am not at my desk monitoring where his signal is. If you would wish to know I can go back to work Noire-sama," Kei stood up to leave but Uni pulled her back in by her leg causing her to splash into the bath where she accidentally splashed Noire.

"So it's like that is it?" Noire splashed Kei but hit Uni instead.

"Onee-sama!" Uni laughed as the three girls started to play fight, splashing each other with water. While Kei would not admit it under pain of death, it was a good way to spend some time other than working. Besides what's the worst amount of trouble Naruto could get into walking to Planeptune?

Back to Team Ninja

"So… Let's go over the plan one more time!" Neptune declared. She was wearing a balaclava and was far too eager to do this in Naruto's opinion. "We know our roles right Nin-nin?"

"Do we really have to do this?" IF sighed. She too was wearing a balaclava. "What?" She frowned as Neptune stared at her intently. "Oh fine do we really have to do this nin-nin?"

"Of course!" Neptune declared. "It is a matter of the highest importance nin-nin."

"I don't know," Nepgear looked worried as she put on her balaclava "Won't Histoire be mad? Nin-nin."

"Only if she knows it was us that did it," Neptune looked proud. "And with our cool disguises there's no way she'll know it was us. Nin-nin."

"But you are wearing the same clothes," Naruto pointed out. "The only difference is that your faces are obscured. You aren't even hiding your voices." He glanced at Kichi who was wearing a balaclava that Compa had provided. "You even dressed up Kichi." The Dogoo bounced happily.

"It'll be fine, Nin-nin," Neptune declared.

"So to recap," Naruto glanced at the map Neptune had provided. "Histoire purchased a copy of the game, the last copy available, and planned to use it as a hostage in order to get you do actually do your job?"

"That's right! Nin-nin"

"And she is sending it via convoy to a secret location and all you know is that it will go along this road," Naruto gestured to the road they had travelled to. "And you want me to jump off of this bridge, land on the convoy and sneak inside to steal your game then leave without getting caught so Histoire doesn't know that you have the game."

"That's right! Nin-nin"

"So I'm assuming it will be lightly guarded."

"Probably not. Nin-nin."

"Eh? But it's just a game!"

"It's not just a game!" Neptune gasped. "It is a state of the art masterpiece designed to prove the ultimate entertainment for everyone ages 6 and up!" She blinked. "Nin-nin."

"Plus Histoire really wants Neptune to do her work so it wouldn't surprise me if she sent a sizable force to ensure there was no way of it getting stolen and somehow ending up in Neptune's hands." IF added.

"Ahem," Neptune coughed. "Nin-nin."

"…Nin-nin." IF shook her head,

"That's better. Nin-nin." Neptune beamed at her.

"I think I can see them, nin-nin." Naruto blinked. "Oh now you've got me doing it!"

"You've levelled up as a Ninja!" Neptune gave him a thumbs up. "Nin-nin."

"So basically you want me, alone, to do all of the work."

"That's right!" Neptune nodded. "Nin-nin."

"So why did you all get dressed up like that?" Naruto asked.

"Because it's fun. Nin-nin."

Naruto chose not to acknowledge that. "Hey… What's that thing?"

"Oh that," Neptune followed his gaze. "That's a motorbike convoy."

"A what?"

"Don't you know what a motorbike is?"

"I can't say I've ever seen one before," Naruto narrowed his eyes. "Those things are moving faster than that train that nearly ran me over when I was carrying a princess."

"Oh hoh!" Neptune's eyes sparkled. "That sounds like an amazing story! You should tell me it later over pudding! Nin-nin."

"Sure," Naruto beamed, glad as always to have someone to listen to how awesome he was. "Wait a second… What is that thing?!"

Naruto pointed at the behemoth of a machine racing towards the bridge.

"Ooh!" Neptune beamed. "That's the pride and joy of Planeptune… the ultimate armoured transport G0-L1ATH! Histy really must be pulling out all the stops!" The G0-L1ATH was an impossibly large tank, with a main barrel that was at least 25 foot long. Naruto's entire apartment could have fit inside that tank at least ten times (Walls and everything) and still not cramp the driver too much. "Hmm… I didn't think she'd use good old G0 to deliver my game… Seriously that is like having a Level 100 boss in the tutorial level! Not cool Histy!" Neptune pouted. "Nin-nin." She added as an afterthought.

"Eh?" Naruto blinked. "How fast is it moving?!"

"About sixty miles an hour," IF narrowed her eyes, "Give or take. I'll go get my bike so I can give you lift back to Planeptune when you are done."

"And I've got to get on that thing?!" Naruto blinked.

"Yep now jump!" Neptune pushed Naruto off the bridge and fell off of it with him. "Oopsie!" She laughed as they rolled on the roof of the giant tank. "Looks like I'll be joining you on this mission ninja-sempai Nin-nin!"

Before Naruto could open his mouth two sections of the tank opened up and two cannons emerged and pointed at Naruto.

"…This is going to end badly," Naruto leapt as the cannons fired a barrage of tracer rounds that chewed up the bridge causing the other girls to retreat. "What even is this?!"

"Good isn't it," Neptune rubbed her nose with a smug smile, "Planeptune is miles ahead of everyone when it comes to our technology! Nin-nin."

"Don't sound so proud about that when your technology is our enemy!" Naruto raced towards a small hatch on the back of a tank. "AND WHY THE HELL ARE THE CANNONS FOCUSING ON ME?!" He scowled as he tugged on the door. "Damn it it's locked!" He rolled as the cannons opened fire again, the heavy armour plating simply reflecting the rounds that were sprayed on it.

"Then I'll just transform and…"

"But then won't Histy know it was you?"

"Oh! I completely forgot about that!" Neptune summoned a wooden sword, "Oh well, guess I'll have to do it the hard way." She grinned as she charged towards the turrets that were focused on Naruto. "Cross Slash!" She yelled as she cut through the two turrets like tissue paper. "Ehehe!" Neptune gave him the peace sign. "Behold the power of the heroine! Nin-nin."

"That…" Naruto blinked, "That was actually kind of impressive."

"Ehehe," Neptune blushed, "Ninja-sempai is praising me. Nin-nin."

"Can you help me with this?" Naruto struggled with the hatch.

"Right Nin-nin!" Neptune and Naruto started to tug at the latch, which groaned against their combined strength.

"Almost there!" Naruto put one last surge of effort into lifting the panel, which finally gave way and came free of the tank. "Aha!" He nodded at Neptune. "Nice work."

"Hehehe," Neptune merely grinned.

"In we go!" Naruto landed in the belly of the beast, blinking at all the flashing lights surrounding him. He was stood in a dark purple corridor with neon lines running down the walls and floor. Strange screens flashed random sequences of numbers and letters at him as mechanical doors hissed shut and sealed with a definite click.

"Incoming Nin-nin!"

"Wait a second I haven't…" Naruto looked up to tell her to wait only to be greeted with the sight of white panties with a lilac N on them as Neptune landed on top of him.

"Ahaha," Neptune rubbed the back of her head. "Guess I was a little too eager eh Ninja-san. Nin-nin." She looked around. "Ninja-san?" Glancing down she realised she was sat on his face. "Oopsie!" She laughed as she got up. "Are you okay? Nin-nin."

"Lilac…" He muttered. "So soft…"

"Eh?"

"Oh nothing," Naruto looked away with a blush. "I was… Er… Yes… To the game… That thing." He mumbled as he tried to forget the sight of Neptune's underwear and the soft feeling of her legs. So distracted was he that he stood on a slightly raised floor tile that sank into the floor. "Oh crap."

"That looks like a trap. Nin-nin." Neptune nodded as small parts of the walls moved to reveal the corridor was lined with small cannons. "Hey I was right! Nin-nin."

"Run!" Naruto charged towards the end of the room as the cannons launched a strange milky solution at them.

"Uh oh," Neptune shivered. "That's out of date cream! The smell will never wash out if you get it on your clothes! Nin-nin."

Naruto was too busy dodging the peculiar flow of expired dairy products to listen to Neptune. "Wait… I have a plan!" He grabbed Neptune and held her close as he summoned a wall of clones who took the blasts like champions, persisting until the cannons fell silent then dispelling themselves.

"Oh hoh!" Neptune's eyes sparkled. "So this is a ninja at work? I should be taking notes! Nin-nin."

"Oh that," Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "That was nothing and…" He was interrupted by a desperate last shot that missed him but struck Neptune on the forehead.

"Ooh…" She wined as the white liquid trailed down her face. "Is so sticky and it tastes so bitter… Nin-nin."

"Er…" Naruto blinked at the sight.

"Why did it have to finish on my face?" She pouted as she started to wipe the foul smelling liquid from her face.

"That is…"

"Is everything alright? Nin-nin." Neptune noticed the slightly dazed Naruto looking at her.

"I am not Jiraiya!" Naruto wept as he started to hit his head repeatedly on one of the doors.

"Eh?" Neptune tilted her head. "Oh I get it!" She beamed. "Our relationship levelled up!"

"Eh?!"

"I now know more about you," Neptune looked smug. "I know your name isn't Jiraiya! Nin-nin."

"…Er… Yeah…" Naruto stopped banging his head and the door opened. "Huh? That happened."

"Oh… You were using some sort of Ninja-lock picking technique!" Neptune gave him the thumbs up gesture. "Awesome Ninja-sempai-who-is-not-called-Jiraiya! Nin-nin."

"That's quite a mouthful," Naruto sweat dropped.

"Maybe I should just call you Ninja-sempai," Neptune nodded sagely. "Nin-nin."

"Yeah," Naruto walked into the room tailed by Neptune. "Is that your game?" He pointed to a pedestal in the centre of the room.

"It has to be!" Neptune raced towards it before Naruto could stop her. "Huh?" She froze as the floor panel she stood on suddenly sunk into the ground. "Er… Ninja-san?"

"Yep," Naruto rubbed his forehead. "That was probably a trap. Look out!" Naruto cried as more cannons appeared, this time firing small robotic robes at them. Naruto managed to dodge the relatively short burst of fire. "Are you alright?" He turned to face Neptune. "Gargh?"

"I'm a little stuck," Neptune struggled with the robes that tightly bound her up in an erotic style although the binding of her chest lost some impact due to her relatively flat chest. "Get me down Nin-nin!"

"I am not Jiraiya!" Naruto repeated whilst hitting the wall with his head several times.

"Er… Ninja-san?"

"R-right." Naruto ignored the blood flowing down his forehead as he released Neptune.

"Aha!" She beamed. "This is fun. Nin-nin."

"This is your idea of fun?" Naruto blinked before quickly shaking his head. "Never mind."

"Right!" Neptune snatched the game from the pedestal.

"I would recommend you unhand that." A cool female voice called out and a side door opened up.

"Who are you?" Naruto frowned as a maid stepped out of the room. She had vibrant red hair in two short pigtails that fell to her shoulders. She wore an outfit that had Naruto wondering whether she was going for a maid or magical girl look, either way the result was quite impressive, showing off her slender thighs and accentuating her modest breasts. Her piercing green eyes locked on to him, completely disregarding Neptune.

"Maybe I should elucidate who I am." She paused. "My name is Cave. I belong to the Security and Defence organisation, Leanbox Special Mission Department."

"Eh?" Naruto blinked. "The hell does elucidate mean?"

"She's like one of Leanbox's elite troops!" Neptune whispered.

"Histoire hired Leanbox?"

"Unlikely," Neptune pouted. "Maybe… Maybe this is the wrong G0-L1ATH? Nin-Nin."

"There's more than one?"

"Well… No…" Neptune laughed. "I guess Histy must be lending this to Leanbox to help smooth over talks for the Four Goddess meeting. Nin-nin."

"The what?"

"Basically all four Goddesses are meeting up to say we can't fight anymore. This world will have peace!"

"But if you get caught attacking another Goddess' forces I'm guessing the peace treaty is out of the window?"

"I guess…"

"Go, I'll keep her busy."

"Eh?"

"I mean it," Naruto winked. "I got this."

"W-well… I'll never forget you Nunchuck-san!"

"It's Ninja! You've already forgotten what you called me?!" Naruto exclaimed as the Goddess fled.

"Not so fast," Cave started towards Neptune but Naruto blocked her.

"Sorry," Naruto grinned. "But I'm afraid you'll have to dance with me first."

"By attacking this transport you have declared yourselves enemies of Lady Green Heart." Cave smiled. "Please surrender or I will be forced to eliminate you."

"I'd like to see you try," Naruto smirked. "I'm a fully trained…"

Cave responded with a kick that send Naruto through one of the walls.

"…What?" Naruto wheezed as he staggered to his feet. _'She's strong!'_

"That was a warning shot," She smiled.

' _Hey Fox! I'm claiming my rent! Fox? Hello?!'_ Naruto scowled as he felt no response from the Kyuubi. _'What the hell? Oh well… Looks like it's up to me.'_ He pushed himself out of the small crater as Cave's heel smashed into the floor.

"Hm." Cave turned to face him. "I missed."

"Heh," Naruto wiped the blood from his mouth. "Let's see you do that again!" He charged her, ducking under her kick and lashing out at her one foot still in contact with the ground, but the elite of Leanbox simply pushed herself off the ground, jumping over Naruto's lunge.

"Too slow," Cave remarked only to cry out in alarm as a kick out of nowhere hit her in the face. "Who?" She blinked as she looked between the two Naruto's. "I… Hmm… I can't tell which of you the original is."

"That's because we are identical clones."

"That is interesting," Cave remarked as she blocked a clone's attack, grabbing its leg and slamming it into the ground where it burst into smoke. "It appears that the clones are structurally instable. Their combat potential seems limited to a simple smoke screen which means…" Cave glanced at the large number of Naruto clones. "The original one has already fled hasn't he?"

"The boss has left." The clones all grinned.

"Impressive," Cave nodded. "An excellent use of techniques in the face of a superior opponent. Unfortunately the cameras on board this vessel have recorded your face and voice so there is nowhere in Gamindustri where your boss can hide."

"Oh…" The clones milled around.

"But if you still wish to resist…" Cave pulled out a pair of scissors. "I would be more than happy to oblige your last request."

"Let's get her!" The clones charged en-mass at Cave, who simply danced between the clones, dispelling them with relative ease until she caught a glowing blue attack out of the corner of her eye.

"What?" She blinked and tried to block the attack with her scissors, only for the grinding sphere to destroy them. "What a powerful ability!" She leapt backwards as the clone carrying the Rasengan ran out of chakra and dispelled. "It appears I have underestimated the combat potential of these clones." Cave narrowed her eyes, "I will not make that mistake again." She drew another pair of scissors from her dress. "And now I will be forced to eliminate you with extreme prejudice."

"What does that even…? OH MY GOD!" The clones cried out as the massacre began.

TO Naruto

"Urgh…" He shivered as he walked up to the girls. "My clones are getting absolutely destroyed… Wait how do I know that?"

"Hehehe!" Neptune's eyes were sparkling as she held the game to the sky. "Ninja-san and I have returned victorious!"

"I'll admit," IF smiled softly, "I'm surprised. You did well out there Ninja-san. If I'm ever in Lastation and need help with a mission I'll be sure to look you up. The name's IF by the way."

"We call her Iffy," Neptune beamed. "You know me of course, Neptune!" She gave the peace symbol.

"I am her younger sister, Nepgear." Nepgear bowed politely. "Thank you for looking after my sister."

"Hey I was looking after him!" Neptune declared.

"I'm sure you were," IF smiled.

"Urgh…" Neptune slumped. "I can feel the disbelief…"

"She helped me out," Naruto defended Neptune.

"Ehehehe…" She recovered instantly. "Ninja-san praised me again."

"I'm Compa!" Compa smiled at him. "I made you a Bento for you!"

"Oh really?" Naruto laughed, "That's great thanks. It's nice to meet you all."

"We won't ask you your name Not Jiraiya-san." Neptune smiled. "Ninja are all secretive and all that. We get it its cool."

"Not Jiraiya-san?" IF asked.

"Hehe," Neptune rubbed the bottom of her nose, "You see me and Not Jiraiya-san have a strong relationship so he gave me hints about his real name!"

"I did?" Naruto blinked.

"He did?" The girls said at the same time.

"Right!" Neptune nodded. "He told me he wasn't Jiraiya!"

"I… I see…" Nepgear laughed weakly.

"Now… Let me sample my prize!" Neptune opened the game case only to find it empty besides a note. "Eh?!"

"Let me see that," IF picked up the note. "Better luck next time. Cave – Leanbox SMD. Nep… Did you nearly start a war with Leanbox over a stupid game?!"

"It wasn't a stupid game…" Neptune tried to defend herself as IF started to lecture her.

"Looks like Nep-Nep's in trouble," Compa smiled as she walked over to calm down IF.

"I wouldn't want to be in her shoes," Naruto agreed.

"Ninja-san."

"Argh?!" Naruto dived to the floor and looked around. "Kei?!" He relaxed when he remembered the collar he was wearing.

"Why is my tracker showing you are nowhere near Planeptune? I have had their Oracle asking where you are. I've had to say that you died on-route to avoid a potential incident before the Four Goddesses Meeting."

"Please don't go killing me off so casually."

"Return here immediately and maybe your will not be punished too much for this breach of your contract."

"I… Okay…" Naruto slumped. "Sorry guys looks like I'm headed back to Lastation."

"Here," IF gestured to the motorbike. "I'll give you a lift."

"Thanks," Naruto smiled. "I hope I see you all soon. Sorry I couldn't repay you for the dinner that Kichi ate."

"Don't sweat it!" Neptune smiled. "I had tonnes of fun with you today!" She pouted slightly. "I wanted to play Ninja some more with you though!"

"Sorry," Naruto smiled, "Maybe next time."

"That's a promise!" Neptune beamed. "See you later not Jiraiya-san!"

"Safe travels Mr Not Jiraiya!"

"Come on Mr Not Jiraiya," IF patted the side car to her bike.

"Is…" Naruto blinked. "Is that my name now?"

"Yep." All the girls nodded.

"I think I preferred Ninja-san." Naruto sighed as he got into the side car.

IF started up the bike and drove off. "You alright in there?" She yelled over the wind.

"Yeah," Naruto nodded as he relaxed. "I just know I'm going to get myself electrocuted or something."

"Eh?"

"This," Naruto indicated his collar. "It's a shock bracelet that allows the oracle of Lastation to track my location and if necessary she can activate an electric shock.

"That's a little barbaric," IF raised an eyebrow. "What did you do to deserve that?"

"Nothing," Naruto replied, "I mean… I'm from another dimension and when I entered this one I kind of appeared in Noire's shower but…"

"You appeared in her shower whilst she was bathing?" IF raised an eyebrow. "You're lucky you weren't executed."

"Yeah," Naruto leaned forward. "I just… I can't get a reading on Noire you know? Neptune seems a pretty simple person to understand but everything I do seems to upset Noire in some way."

"I see…" IF shook her head. "Well Noire is very hard working. She takes great pride in Lastation and her people. She is always trying to prove herself. She is a very earnest girl she's just not quite sure how to deal with people. Personally I think she is just lonely."

"Lonely…" Naruto closed his eyes as her remembered what Kei told him earlier that day. "I see." _'When I was lonely and everyone hated me… All I wanted was for people to like me. Could she be the same? Only whereas I was looked down on she is worshipped. She believes that she has to be the best because she is a goddess.'_ "Well I hope that Four Goddess meeting thing goes well."

"Yeah?" IF peered over her shoulder.

"Yeah," Naruto leaned back. "Noire could do with some good friends and I can't speak for all of them but I think the other goddesses would make great friends for her." He chuckled, "Maybe Neptune could get her to lighten up a bit?"

"I think Nep wants to be friends with the other goddesses." IF nodded, "It's why she tried so hard to get everyone to agree to it."

"Wait?" Naruto blink. "This peace was Neptune's idea?"

"Well Neptune said she just wanted everyone to be friends and play together," IF admitted. "It was Histy who did all the hard work."

"Ah," Naruto smiled slightly. "That sounds more feasible."

"She might not appear to be the best Goddess," IF felt the need to defend her friend, "But she has a good heart and she is a good person."

"I have no doubts," Naruto smiled. "Maybe after I've paid my debt to society I might spend some time exploring here before I go back home."

"Oh?"

"This place is a lot more peaceful than where I came from and it seems a much more fun place to live. Still I can't become Hokage if I stay here. Plus I have people counting on me…" Naruto's voice trailed off. "That's if it is even possible for me to go home."

"It's possible," IF assured him.

"Thanks Iffy."

"You're welcome Not Jiraiya."

The rest of the journey was in a comfortable silence.

Some Time Later

"Black Heart-sama." Two Guards entered Noire's working area and deposited the slightly worried looking Naruto before leaving. The room had a large table where Noire was working furiously on some paper work. At a smaller desk by her side, Kei was looking at some reports and Uni was carrying stacks of paper between the two.

"Ah, Welcome back Ninja-san," Uni smiled and bowed her head.

"Ninja-san," Kei glanced at a clock, "You made good time returning. That will be taken into consideration when it is time to discuss your punishment."

"So you are alive," Noire crossed her arms. "When I saw you tracer start to move quickly I was worried that you had been eaten by a wild animal."

"You were worried about me?"

"I-idiot!" Noire turned away blushing. "I couldn't care less about you! The reputation of Lastation would have suffered if you had been killed by a random monster."

"Right, right," Naruto sighed heavily. "Sorry for dragging the name of Lastation through the mud."

"Well… You are back in one piece so I guess there's no reason to worry too much," Noire mumbled and ran a hand through her hair.

"Your fingers…" Naruto took Noire's hand in his own, causing the Goddess to go bright red. Her fingers were covered in plasters "You're hurt?"

"Oh t-t-that?" Noire pulled her hand free and laughed shrilly. "It's nothing."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm s-s-sure." Noire stammered.

"You look a little red," Naruto frowned. "Are you sure that you are alright."

"There is still the case of the job that you didn't do," Kei coughed loudly, distracting Naruto and giving time for Noire to put some distance between her and Naruto.

"I have an excuse!" Naruto shook his head. "I was intercepted on my way to Planeptune by Neptune, the goddess of Planeptune."

"I know who Neptune is," Noire sighed and rubbed her head. "No doubt she had you help her on some stupid side adventure."

"…Yeah that pretty much sums it up." Naruto nodded.

"I will inform Histoire of the situation," Kei smiled. "If her Goddess is responsible there should be no negative effects for our relationship with Planeptune."

"So… We cool?" Naruto asked.

"Yes," Kei remarked. "We are 'cool'."

"Huh," Naruto crossed his arms. "I was expecting you to extend my sentence or something."

"Did you do anything that justified us doing so?"

"Nope," Naruto tried not to think about the fact he had (unintentionally) put the peace talks at risk.

"Then you may return to your cell," Kei gestured. "Oh… And here's a present for you."

"For me?" Naruto blinked as Uni presented him with a small box.

"We all worked on it to say thanks for your hard work." Uni smiled

"Thanks!" Naruto eagerly opened the box and froze. "Guys…"

"I know you were upset that you lost your original forehead protector," Uni twiddled her fingers. "So… We made you this one to replace it."

"You girls…" Naruto beamed as he wore the new forehead protector. It was similar to his old one although the inside of the forehead protector had a black heart symbol with chibi drawings of Noire, Uni and Kei. "This is amazing, thank you!" Naruto bowed with tears in his eyes.

"I'm glad you like it." Noire smiled. "Though I don't know why you are getting excited over something so small."

"I… I've never really gotten a present before," Naruto laughed weakly.

"Really?" Uni frowned. "That's not right!"

"It appears your life before here has not been easy." Kei remarked calmly.

"Ah well… I kind of never knew my parents…" Naruto rubbed the back of his head.

"You're an orphan?" Noire bit her lip. "I'm… I'm sorry to hear that. I at least have Uni and Kei looking out for me. Did you have no-one?"

"Well… When I earned my status as a ninja I was part of a four man cell," Naruto's shoulders slumped. "But one of my friends who was like a brother to me left my village and tried to kill me."

"W-what?" Noire was shocked.

"But that's enough depressing stuff," Naruto waved off their fears.

"Ninja-san," Uni was lost for words.

"You are truly strong," Noire smiled softly. "To not get worn down by such things."

"No point mulling over the past," Naruto declared. "I'm a here and now kind of person! And here and now I'm trapped in a strange world but it's not all bad. I got to meet some really cool people."

"N-Ninja-san," Noire blushed.

"I mean that Neptune was kind of fun and Compa is an amazing cook." Naruto continued oblivious to the sudden drop of temperature in the room.

"Oh…" Noire's grin triggered ever alarm bell possible in Naruto's head. "So you like Neptune do you?"

"Well… She's kind of fun to be around," Naruto took a step back.

"Why don't you just go and work for her then?!" Noire crossed her arms.

"Well… I can't leave you can I?" Naruto tilted his head. _'If I do you'll just electrocute me to death…'_

"N-Ninja-san?!" Noire went bright red and looked away. _'He… He can't leave me?! Does he mean that he wants to stay with me?! How do I respond?._ "I- I'm not happy hearing that." Noire declared despite the smile she was wearing.

"Anyway," Kei cleared her throat. "I was looking at the area where you arrived in this world and I happened to find something beneath Noire-sama's bath."

"What was it?" Naruto turned to the oracle.

"This…" Kei handed over a damp sheet of paper. "It looks like a ramen recipe but…"

"It's a page from my dad's book!" Naruto declared. "The book I used to get here!" He bit his thumb and allowed the blood to drip onto the page.

"What are you doing?" Noire frowned.

"There's a blood seal on it that hides the true message." Naruto scowled. "But it isn't working."

"Maybe you need the whole book," Uni suggested.

"Maybe," Naruto sighed.

"Well I guess that means you'll have to stay here a little longer whilst we find the rest of those pages." Noire tried not to look to happy about that.

"Onee-sama, you look quite pleased about that."

"I'm not!" Noire stammered. "I c-couldn't care less if he left or stayed!" She stormed off.

"Man she really hates me," Naruto sighed.

"I wouldn't say that." Kei shuffled some papers. "You noticed her fingers right?"

"Yeah?"

"What would you say if I told you those injuries were made by her knitting your forehead protector herself?"

"Really?" Naruto smiled.

"Noire-sama is not… talented in saying what she actually means." Kei explained.

"Right," Naruto ran after her. "Noire!"

"What do you want?" She stopped in the corridor and allowed Naruto to catch up.

"I just want to say," Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "I well… You're not so bad. I'm glad that it was you that I met first in this world."

"R-really?" Noire pursed her lips. "So you don't want to work for Neptune?"

"Of course not." Naruto laughed. "So you're kind of stuck with me for now."

"W-well." Noire looked away with a small smile. "I guess I will have to put up with you. But no more getting into strange Ecchi situations!"

"I promise that all that…" Naruto looked away awkwardly. "Will never happen again."

"Then maybe you might want to explain this," Kei walked up carrying a sheet of paper. "A bounty was issued just now by Green Heart."

"Oh?" Noire took the bounty. "Wanted for attempted robbery, the Panty-Sniffer Ninja?"

"Eh?!" Naruto leaned over Noire's shoulder to read it and froze.

 **WANTED: PANTY-SNIFFER NINJA**

 **FOR ATTEMPTED ROBBERY OF LADY GREEN HEART'S VITAL SUPPLIES**

 **AGE: UNKNOWN  
GENDER: MALE  
AFFILIATION: UNKNOWN  
EYES: BLUE  
HAIR: BLONDE  
DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: Eyewitnesses report distinctive whisker marking on his face.  
\- Suspect appears to be a pervert. Do not approach! When sighted send a message to Lady Green Heart on her blog and await her arrival. **

The picture hid most of his face except his hair and his eyes were slightly out of focus. Unfortunately that was because the picture was taken at the moment that Neptune had fallen on him so you could see her legs and hoodie but not her face. No the only face visible was Naruto's and it was only half visible as Neptune was sat on his mouth.

"…What am I looking at?" Noire twitched.

"Ah… well…" Naruto laughed weakly.

"So… Whilst I was worried that you were hurt… you were off doing things with Neptune?!"

"It's not like that! Wait… You were worried?"

"If word gets out that Panty-Sniffer-san is under our employ it could badly damage the hopes for peace." Kei remarked.

"That's not my name!" Naruto protested.

"I see," Noire scowled. "Then we have no choice but to explain the situation to Green Heart."

"But she may demand we execute Perverted-Ninja-san."

"That's not my name either!" Naruto interrupted.

"Be quiet Panty-Sniffer-san!" Noire glared at him. _'How dare he do such things to Neptune when he could have asked m… .WHAT AM I THINKING?!'_ "T-this is all your fault!"

"R-right." Naruto's shoulders slumped. _'And for a second I actually thought we were having a bonding moment.'_

Noire lead the way back into the work room where Uni greeted them.

"Call Vert," Noire told Uni.

"Right away!" Uni raced off and started to press buttons next to the giant TV screen.

A picture of a woman with an amazing pair of breasts appeared on the screen. She had long blond hair that framed her gentle smiling face with sad blue eyes that seemed to be looking right at him. She was wearing a bright green dress with gold markings.

"Man she has boobs like Baa-chan," Naruto exclaimed. "Who is that picture of?"

"Oh my!" A cheerful voice exclaimed. "Aren't you the cutest boy? I have to admit you are far more interesting than the boring old men here. How about you come here and play with me?"

"W-w-w-what?!" Noire pushed Naruto out of the way. "Stop trying to seduce my ninja with your fatty blobs Vert!"

"My, my," Vert chuckled, "You almost sounded like Blanc there. What can I do for you Noire? Is this about my bounty?"

"Yes… I it is." Noire nodded. "And here is the culprit."

"Er… Hi?" Naruto waved weakly.

"Well then," Vert smiled. "I heard that the culprit was capable of creating solid free-thinking clones. Is that true Ninja-kun?"

"Yeah," Naruto formed his favourite hand seal. "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu."

"Yo!" A clone appeared and saluted her.

"I see…" Vert's eyes were sparkling. "How many can you make?"

"Er…" Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "Thousands?"

"Can you make 14?"

"What an oddly specific amount," Naruto tilted his head.

"For the fun I intend to have with you I need fourteen clones."

"F-f-f-fun?!" Noire stood between Vert and Naruto. "There'll be no fun with my Ninja!"

"Awfully possessive of him aren't you?" Vert pointed out.

"It's… I'm… It's not as if I like him or anything!" Noire weakly protested.

"Then you will be willing to send him to me then."

"I-I can't," Noire coughed. "He has committed crimes here so he has to work off his debts here!"

"I see… the old 'Debt to Society." Vert nodded. "I'll settle his debt."

"You will?" Noire/Naruto exclaimed at the same time.

"And then he can work it off for me." Vert's eyes sparkled. "I can already imagine what uses those clones could have."

"I won't let you!" Noire stamped her foot. "His debt is not for sale!"

"Oh?" Vert smiled. "Why not come visit me and I'm sure we can come to some deal." The screen went clear.

"So…" Kei coughed. "Should I organise a visit to Leanbox?"

"…Yes." Noire looked at Naruto accusingly. "I have to sort out this issue with Vert."

"Sorry," Naruto bowed his head.

"Do…" Noire paused as she walked past him. "Do you like girls with big breasts?"

"Huh?" Naruto blushed crimson at the question.

"I don't care about the answer!" Noire suddenly ran off again.

"I… I…" Naruto blinked. "What the hell just happened?!"

"I believe you should return to your cell," Kei shook her head knowingly.

"R-right." Naruto allowed himself to be escorted back to his cell by Uni. "Hey!" He brightened as they approached it. "My cell has stuff in it now!"

Rather than the plain stone cell with a small toilet and an uncomfortable mattress, Naruto was welcomed by a carpeted cell with wallpaper that had chibi designs of the four goddesses in their HDD forms. His toilet was now hidden by walls so he could have a moment's privacy and his bed was now actually a large one which was so soft it threatened to swallow him when he jumped on it.

"Onee-sama and I did this," Uni smiled. "I am glad you like it."

"Thanks Uni!" Naruto beamed at her. "If only your sister was as nice as you are."

"W-well…" Uni smiled at the praise. "We all have our talents."

"Right?" Naruto laughed.

"Your cell is to be left unlocked as well so you can wander around the area. Please do not leave the building however."

"Got it." Naruto smiled as Uni walked away. "Hehehe… Time for Compa's bento!" He pulled the box from his shirt and frowned. "Strange this feels kind of heavy…" He opened it to see a squished yet completely satisfied Kichi staring back at him. "I hate you so much right now." Naruto sighed.

The dogoo simply fell asleep.

"Seriously," Naruto sighed as he laid on his new bed. "I wonder why that Vert seemed so interested in me? I guess I'll find out soon."

In Leanbox

Vert was practically vibrating with excitement as she ran around her bedroom.

"What's with her?" A slender young girl with long mint coloured hair stood watching her curiously. She wore a revealing black dress with long boots and was watching Vert nervously. "Is she planning something".

"Vert-sama is preparing the bedroom for a guest we will be soon receiving." Cave replied idly. "Don't you have something better to do Chika?"

"W-what?" Chika started coughing. "I was feeling so ill and needed Vert-sama to nurture me back to health…"

"I believe that is what we call in the SMD, complete bullshit." Cave remarked bluntly. "You are healthy as an oxen."

"Tch," Chika straightened up, "You are such a party pooper. Vert~sama!" Chika smiled at her Goddess. "Can I help you?"

"I need you to bring fifteen computers in here!" Vert turned towards her with shining eyes.

"Er…" Chika blinked. "I understand you have got several copies of that new MMO but surely you only need two in here? Your computer and mine."

"I have a ninja who will help me clear the raid!" Vert clapped her hands. "And he can make clones! We will be a well-oiled machine!"

"B-but Vert-sama…" Chika staggered. "I thought I was going to play that raid with you!"

"But he is a ninja!" Vert repeated. "His reflexes will be amazing! With an entire raid party of him… I will dominate the game!"

"…If Vert-sama wanted a team to serve her I would willing clone myself as many times as she wants!"

"You have issues," Cave replied bluntly.

"Tch It is the duty of an oracle to serve her goddess in anyway possible! Whether that be her doll to dress up or her entire raid party! My entire being is devoted to serving Vert-sama… I even have a plaque saying so!"

"Oh?" Cave sweat dropped.

"But this ninja thinks he can replace me?" Chika started laughing evilly. "We shall see. We shall see."

"If you'll excuse me," Cave bowed. "I have to move fifteen computers and procure the snacks that a raid run will require."

"But it should only take them about an hour or so right?"

"Usually around four," Cave corrected. "Plus Vert-sama will have to level up all of the Ninja's avatars before they can challenge the raid so I would predict they would need… Forty eight hours' worth of snacks."

"Two whole days?"

"Vert-sama was adamant that nothing get between her and the game until the raid is cleared."

"She… She is going to lock herself in her room with that ninja?!" Chika started to grind her teeth so hard they were practically giving off sparks. "That… That… Goddess stealing nInja! When he gets here… Oh I will teach him to steal my Vert and there will be nobody who can get in my way!"

Elsewhere

"YOU DID WHAT?!" A small fairy sat atop a floating book screamed at an embarrassed looking Neptune, flanked by a surprised Nepgear, IF and Compa. The fairy had bright blonde hair and sat in the middle of the open book in a purple dress with white thigh high socks. A sort of nurse's cap emblazoned with the purple N that was Planetpune's logo adorned her small head. She would be quite cute looking if not for the currently throbbing veins on her forehead that made it looks like she was about to literally explode with rage. "Please tell me I misheard you and you didn't work with a ninja to attack a Leanbox convoy!"

"I think I got away unnoticed though!" Neptune declared. "I was like a master level ninja!"

"So then what is this?" She showed the bounty page to the group.

"Onee-sama?" Nepgear went bright red. "W-what were you doing with Ninja-san?"

"Oh I fell on him." Neptune laughed. "Why are looking so embarrassed? Oh hoh!" She smiled. "Is Nepgear have impure thoughts?"

"N-not at all," Nepgear weakly defended herself.

"Shame on you Gege," Compa smiled, "Having impure thoughts about Nep-Nep and Mr Ninja."

"It's not like that…" Nepgear tried to defend herself.

"Back to this issue," The small fairy crossed her arms angrily. "You were part of the force that attacked a Leanbox convoy!"

"They were in my G0-L1ATH!" Neptune defended herself. "I thought it was my own convoy!"

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT BETTER!" Histoire yelled, "Besides it was you agreed to loan to Leanbox in exchange for Green Heart lending you a games controller since you broke yours!"

"Oh yeah!" Neptune brightened. "I remember now! But you said you were hiding that game somewhere in the countryside!"

"I said that so you wouldn't search the tower for it!" Histoire snapped. "I don't believe for that game you… o you attacked…" The fairy paused. "I think I'm going to have a stroke from pure rage."

"Calm down then Histy! I know what will make you happy. We should play a game of…"

"NO!" Histy glared at Neptune. "You will go to Leanbox and personally apologise for this!"

"Can't I just do it over the video…?" Neptune whined.

"If you don't go…" Histy was surrounded by a dark aura, "I may have to… format your memory cards."

"You… You monster!" Neptune's eyes went watery as Nepgear hugged her. "My 900 Hours save file would be lost forever!"

"Yes, yes," Histy rubbed her forehead. "Are you going then?"

"Oh well," Neptune cheered up. "It will be another adventure!"

"You are just going there and straight back," Histy corrected. "No diversions. You still haven't memorised the speech I wrote and…"

"Let's go everyone!" Neptune raced off, closely followed by the others. "Before Histy gets Histy-sterical!"

"I HEARD THAT!" Histy yelled. "That was a terrible pun!" She shook her head. "Seriously how has Planeptune not burnt to the ground yet? Oh that's right." She sighed. "Because fortunately for Neptune… I'm here to deal with her antics." She glanced at the picture again. "I wonder who that Ninja is…" She frowned as she stared at the picture. "I could have sworn I've seen someone with hair like that before…" She shook her head. "Maybe it was a dream. Unlike some people I don't have time to sit around thinking about pointless things." She floated over to a desk. "Someone has to do all the work."

Meanwhile in Lowee

Lowee was a cold and peaceful country, the snow was starting to fall, settling on the rooftops of the ornate looking buidings giving a serene vibe. A vibe that was suddenly shattered as a loud screeching voice roared from the castle at the centre of Lowee.

"GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHITS!"

Inside the castle two identical twins suddenly stopped what they were doing and looked at each other as they sat in large chairs, far too big the young looking girls.

"Do you think Onee-sama noticed our picture?" A girl wearing a blue winter coat with a matching hat asked. She had short brown hair and dark blue eyes.

"Hehehe," The other twin laughed. She was wearing the exact same as her twin only in pink. Her hair was longer and she was grinning mischievously. "Do you think she liked it?"

"THAT WAS MY FAVOURITE BOOK!" A door slammed open and Blanc raced out of it, holding a book that was defaced by scribbles that looked awfully like she looked now, a dark shadow covering her face with only a glowing evil eye visible from the depths of the shadow.

"Did you not like the picture?" The pink twin asked.

"RAM!" Blanc turned her gaze on the pink twin. "When I get a hold of you…"

"Oh no!" Ram laughed. "Let's get out of here Rom!"

"Right!" The blue twin nodded and the two set off running down the hallway.

"GET BACK HERE YOU TWO!" Blanc set off after them, summoning her hammer, "LET ME TEACH YOU SOME RESPECT YOU LITTLE FUCKERS!"

"Onee-sama's cursing!" Ram laughed as the enraged goddess chased her younger siblings around the castle, leaving a trail of destruction as they ran into a large room with a table in the centre and started to run around the table.

"Ah White Heart-sama," Another figure entered the room. Unlike the others, this one looked older, wearing a red graduation coat complete with a red mortarboard hat that graduates tended to wear. Beneath the red coat was a short white dress that showed off the semi-transparent, frilled stockings. Her hair was a light blue colour and fell below her waist, held into place in two bright orange hair rings. "I have finished my investigation into the person who saved you." She adjusted her red glasses. "Er… Blanc-sama?" She watched the three sisters continue chasing each other. "Ahem… CEASE THIS NONSENSE IMMEDIATELY!"

"Oh it's Mina!" Ram and Rom skidded to a halt and bowed their heads. "Sorry!"

"STOP BOTHERING YOUR SISTER." Mina smiled sinisterly, an dark aura surrounding her.

"H-hai!" Rom and Ram ran out of the room.

"Is there something important?" Blanc calmly addressed Mina.

"Ah! You remember how you asked me to look for a 'Hero with blonde locks that swayed in the breeze so heroically and brilliant blue eyes that sparkled with love and affection'?"

"…You have news?"

"Look at this, does he look familiar?"

"Hmm…" Blanc took the bounty notice. "I would recognise that face anywhere." She narrowed her eyes. "What is this? Panty-Sniffer?"

"I think it is quite clear what happened." Mina smiled.

"Yes…" Blanc screwed up the bounty.

"The ninja was just trying to seduce you for…" Mina started.

"Vert is trying to take him from me!"

"Eh?"

"Don't you see?" Blanc looked at Mina. "She wanted him taking alive! She has clearly faked this picture and intends to steal him because he wants me! He even proposed to me!"

"Pardon?"

"Well if Thunder tits thinks I'm going to sit back and let that happen," Her eyes glowed red. "I'll fucking show that cow! I am headed for Leanbox. Keep Rom and Ram out of trouble." Blanc growled as she marched off.

"Y-yes." Mina sighed.

Just outside the door, the two eavesdropping twins looked at each other.

"Did you hear that?" Ram stated.

"Yes… Big sister seems upset."

"Well… We have to help her!"

"Really?" Rom looked worried. "But Mina won't want us to leave…"

"Don't sweat it," Ram declared. "When we help her, big sis will forgive us!"

"If you are sure…"

"Plus I'll be Ninja-san could teach us allsorts of fun Ninja pranks!"

"That does sound fun," Rom nodded.

"Then what are we waiting for?" The twins nodded in agreement and raced to their rooms to prepare.

One thing was for sure. Leanbox wouldn't know what was going to hit it.

Elsewhere

A solitary figure sat in a cave, reading a book by candlelight. A pale hand reached out to turn the page, as another reached below the table he was sat at for a seal.

"I disabled your alarms," A voice stated from behind him.

"Well, well, well," The seated figure looked up, the candle illuminating his serpentine. "It appears I have a visitor." He looked over his shoulder. "I should have known this fight would come soon enough."

"I am not here to fight you," A cloaked figure stepped from the shadows. "You have possession of a technique I find myself needing."

"Is that so?"

"This is not the time for games Orochimaru."

"Fine," Orochimaru span around on his chair. "Hmm… I do not recognise you from my days in the cloak."

"I am a recent addition."

"And you need my help?"

"What is your understanding of the seal used on the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki."

"Oh Naruto-kun?" Orochimaru paused. "It is an interesting piece to be sure."

"And? If the boy should die before the Kyuubi was extracted…"

"Then the Kyuubi would be dragged into the next life with him," Orochimaru calmly responded. "If Jiraiya was to be believed anyway."

"I see," The cloaked figure paused. "And if their souls are bound as you say… would your impure resurrection Jutsu bring both of them back?"

"If the Kyuubi is truly bound to him yes."

"Then I will need you to perform the Jutsu."

"Did you mess up and kill the Jinchuuriki." Orochimaru sneered. "I see no reason why I should help you avoid Pain's wrath."

"Pain…" The cloaked figure scoffed. "He's no threat to me." The masked figure stared at Orochimaru. "But I didn't expect you to comply out of the goodness of your heart. Name your price."

"…What can you offer me?"

"Uchiha Clan secrets. They may be of use to you after you possess Sasuke's body."

"I see," Orochimaru's eyes glinted. "And how can I trust these secrets."

"Here," The figure reached into the depths of his cloak and thrust some papers towards Orochimaru. "See if these work."

"I will," Orochimaru glanced at them. "Some of these will take time to verify. I will need some of Naruto-kun's DNA if you truly need me to resurrect him."

"I see…." The figure stepped into the shadows. "I shall procure some for you then."

"Do you have a name?"

"Call me… Tobi."

"Very well." Orochimaru pressed a seal on his desk after he felt the strange presence had disappeared and two figures entered. One with bright silver hair the other with ruffled black hair.

"Sasuke-kun, Kabuto-kun," Orochimaru turned to face him. "It appears the security of this base is lacking. We are leaving."

"As you wish Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto bowed his head.

"Hn," Sasuke grunted.

"Oh and a little bit of news from home," Orochimaru turned to Sasuke. "It appears Naruto is dead."

"Naruto?" Sasuke scoffed. "That idiot is too stupid to die."

"Never-the-less," Orochimaru walked out of the room.

"That idiot can't be dead," Sasuke repeated to himself. _'After all that he's survived… This must be some sort of test.'_

"Do you wish to mourn your lost comrade?" Kabuto asked with a sickly smile that made Sasuke want to punch his face until it was nothing more than a bloody mush.

"I severed all ties with my 'team'." Sasuke sneered. _'Naruto isn't dead. I can feel it.'_ Sasuke smirked at Kabuto. "If he is dead then it's no skin of my teeth. One less nuisance in this world."

"How cold Sasuke-kun," Kabuto laughed and walked away.

"Hn." Sasuke narrowed his eyes. _'No… that idiot will probably outlive us all.'_ Sasuke smiled slightly before realising and returned his face to its usual scowl. ' _I'm sure he will show up sooner or later demanding that I go back to Konoha with him. Seriously… You'd think he'd give up but I guess that is one of his few redeeming qualities. He's always got my back... even when I'm trying to kill him.'_ Sasuke shook his head and walked after Kabuto and Orochimaru. _'Where ever you are dobe… I hope you're having more fun than I am.'_


	3. The Leanbox Fiasco

A/N: Hey all you loyal readers here is the next chapter ideas from me and written by drake Wilson hope you enjoy it ps it looks like arfoire will be in his harem as yes has almost triple what no has so it seems afoire is quite popular with the fans

Disclaimer: Chapter 1

 _ **(The leanbox fiasco)**_

"It's beautiful," Vert whispered, her eyes shining as she beheld the glorious sight before her. She closed her eyes before checking again, just to make sure she wasn't dreaming.

"It is one of my most important duties to ensure to Vert-sama's desires. Whatever those desires maybe." Chika smirked.

"I'll bet that Ninja-san will never want to leave it!" Vert declared proudly.

"Er… I didn't do this for his sake," Chika scowled. "If I had my way I would do everything that I could to prevent him from staying and getting between me and my glorious Vert-sama. Why just the thought of someone taking my place as your most loyal servant…" Chika coughed up blood. "I… Feel like… I'm slipping away. There is a bright light…"

"Please cease with your… I believe the term is bullshit," Cave remarked dryly as she walked by the groaning Chika.

"Huh?" Vert glanced at Chika. "Oh I didn't realise you were still here."

"Argh," Chika clutched her heart. "So cruel Vert-sama…"

"You have done splendid work," Vert nodded. "I congratulate you both."

"Ah Vert-sama~" Chika sighed happily.

"I only apologise that it took so long to prepare this room for you." Cave bowed her head slightly. "It was more difficult than expected to be able to acquire 16 SUHHD televisions for your gaming event with Ninja-san." Cave glanced at the sixteen massive televisions that lined the far wall. Each one had a comfortable chair facing it as well as a small fully stocked fridge to ensure that whoever was playing the game would have minimal reasons for leaving their seat. What was once a large bedroom had been converted into a state of the art gaming centre, although the large king size bed remained at the back of the room.

"SUHHD?" Chika blinked.

"Super Ultra Hyper High Definition," Vert exclaimed with stars in her eyes. "It's the only way to truly enjoy this raid!"

"I don't understand but if Vert-sama is happy…" Chika glanced at Cave who tilted her head.

"The chairs were also hard to come by." Cave sounded apologetic. "During my fight with the Ninja's clones I was not able to get enough data to accurately design a chair that would be so comfortable that he would be unwilling to leave it, as I believe you requested."

"Fortunately I know all of Vert-sama's measurements and was able to design the perfect chair for you." Chika declared proudly. "When it comes to Vert-sama there is nothing I don't know! Why I even know more about Vert-sama than I know about myself!"

"That's not something to be announced so proudly," Cave replied bluntly.

"Are the snacks all ready?" Vert glanced at her two assistants.

"I have the entire Leanbox special missions force on standby, ready to cook up and deliver any food that could possibly be requested by Ninja-san." Cave bowed her head. "The fridges are full of snacks and drinks."

"If Vert-sama wishes for me to feed her I would be honoured to!" Chika saluted her goddess.

"Hm? Oh I will be fine. I don't need subsidence when I am playing games." Vert smiled. "Besides it should only take a few days to complete the raid and…"

"A… A few days?" Chika blinked. "You are going to be locked in this room with fifteen perverted ninja for a few days?!"

"Well technically one ninja and fourteen clones of his," Cave corrected.

"But who knows what he could get up to? Without us to protect her he could… he could… sniff her panties!" Chika nose started to bleed, "Or grope those magnificent mammaries…" Chika froze. "I must insist that I form a part of your raid team Vert-sama!"

"Well we aren't going to be doing the raid three days solid," Vert pointed out. "Ninja-san won't have an account on the game so I will have to help him level up all his characters until we are all raid ready. Oh and the bathrooms?" She turned to Cave.

"I have taken the liberty of having a new toilet installed next to the room."

"Excellent," Vert beamed. "After witnessing all this there is no way that Ninja-san will want to leave. Especially after we get all of that epic level loot!"

"Er…" Chika blinked. "If you are locking yourself in here for three days where will the Ninja sleep?"

"Why on the bed of course."

"And where will you sleep Vert-sama?"

"In the bed."

"So… You are going to be locked up in this room for three days with the ninja." Chika stated slowly. "And you are going to be sharing a bed with this ninja. A ninja who has the alias of 'Panty Sniffer' because he is a pervert."

"That sounds right," Vert nodded. "I have a special outfit all prepared," Vert gestured to an outfit hung on the side of the bed that was little more than string and strategically placed bits of cloth. "After all I wouldn't want our new friend to get bored and I'm sure that after a day gaming he will need to do some intense physical exercise to get into shape."

"Huh…" Chika blinked. "LET ME JOIN IN THE RAID!" She wailed as she was dragged out of the room by a sighing Cave.

"Nothing can possibly go wrong!" Vert smiled. "By the end of today… Ninja-san will be all mine!"

Elsewhere

Blanc sat in a carriage, silently fuming as she made her way to Leanbox. As one of the four goddesses visiting another goddess, there were procedures in place and as much as she wanted to she couldn't just go in all guns blazing, especially not this close to the Peace talks.

No that would be what Vert wanted. She wanted her to charge in like a lunatic and then Vert would record it and show it to her beloved, just like the udder monster's attempt to discredit the man who proposed to her. She remembered it fondly, his blonde hair blowing majestically as his blue eyes filled her with warmth as he fought a dragon to show his love for her. She sighed happily. No doubt Thunder Tits was jealous that she had found true love and was doing everything she could to spoil her romance.

She frowned as she heard something on the roof of the carriage where her luggage was placed but was quickly distracted by the carriage lumbering to a halt.

"Er… Blanc-sama," A young female face appeared at the carriage window. "Unfortunately the forest is too dense for us to travel through so we are having to take a detour."

"A detour?" Blanc replied bluntly. "This is the route we always take to Leanbox."

"There has been an increase in monsters in the area and they have made the route dangerous. As such the local Leanbox patrols haven't been maintaining it."

"Because of monsters?" Blanc stood up, shaking with rage. "No… This is all part of her plan."

"Blanc-sama?"

"She is deliberately trying to hinder my attempts to clear the name of my prince." Blanc stepped out of the carriage and transformed, her soft brown hair turning a pale blue and her usual white dress turning into what looked like a school swimsuit only white. "I won't give her the satisfaction! YOU HEAR ME THUNDER TITS? IT'S GOING TO TAKE MORE THAN THIS TO STOP ME!"

"Blanc-sama?!" The guard watched as the transformed goddess charged into the woods, swinging her hammer furiously, sending twenty foot tall oaks flying through the air like twigs.

"You'd better start running because when I get a hold of your ass I am going to fucking murder you… you cow uddered bitch!" Blanc growled as she carved a path through the forest, followed at some distance by her carriage.

"OUCH!" A cry of pain interrupted her furious rampage, causing Blanc to pause, racing towards the source of the cry. When she arrived she saw what looked like an older teen. She had dark grey hair the fell past her shoulders as well as strange red eyes, although what immediately caught Blanc's attention was the black and red, strapless sports bra which showed her modest cleavage. There was a small trail of blood leaking from her forehead although the girl appeared not to notice.

"Are you alright?" Blanc frowned.

"Oh this?" The girl smiled, "It's alright. It feels good!"

"…Eh?" Blanc blinked.

"Oh nothing," She bowed her head, causing a silver necklace to bounce around.

"Tekken?" Blanc read the necklace.

"Yes?"

"Huh?"

"Oh sorry." The girl rubbed the back of her head, "That's my name." She brushed herself off on her torn blue gi leggings held up by a black training belt. "I was just training with my friends."

"Friends?" Blanc glanced around and noticed that there was a bear and several animals sat watching her, "I see…"

"What is the goddess of Lowee doing all the way out here?" Tekken tilted her head.

"Oh that's right." Blanc narrowed her eyes. "I have to go have a word with that fucking bitch!"

"Eh?" Tekken blinked as Blanc turned around and started to leave.

"I have to clear the name of my… I guess he is my fiancé." Blanc smiled slightly. "He proposed to me but I was never able to answer his proposal."

"Oh!" Tekken brightened. "Well I wish you good luck."

"Thanks," Blanc paused. "Are you sure you're all right?"

"I feel great!" She gave Blanc a thumbs up. "I'm training to become stronger!"

"Er… okay…" Blanc frowned before cursing. "Shit! Thunder Tits sent you here to delay me didn't she! Well it won't fucking work!" She set off back towards Leanbox. "I will be reunited with the mysterious, heroic ninja!"

"Well that was interesting," Tekken tilted her head.

The bear growled at her.

"You really think so?" Tekken rubbed her chin. "You're right Kuma-san! I'll bet training with a ninja would be a good way to get stronger! To Leanbox!" She happily declared as she followed after Blanc, her small party of animals happily following her.

Later on

"I'm bored," Naruto groaned as he laid back on the couch. Noire, Uni and himself had all arrived in Leanbox but rather than be left to explore, Noire had demanded that he stay inside the guest room that Vert had prepared for them. "Why can't I leave this room again?"

"Be patient will you?" Noire scowled as she sat staring at the complaining ninja. "Whose fault is it that we are sat here in the first place?"

"…Neptune's?" Naruto offered.

"Well… Probably," Noire deflated slightly, "But still you were the one who…" She went bright red. "Was caught sniffing her panties!"

"I wasn't!" Naruto tried to defend himself. "She fell on my face!"

"Ninja-san," Uni interrupted her sister and Naruto's bickering. "You do understand how much of a big deal this is? If Vert doesn't change her mind she might have you killed."

"You don't need to worry about me." Naruto smiled at her.

"I… I wasn't worrying about you!" Uni glanced away, the hint of a blush on her cheeks. "I am just worried that you will cause trouble for Onee-sama!"

"You are such a diligent sister," Naruto nodded sagely. "So kind and caring. I'd bet if you were the goddess you would understand how bored I am and let me go exploring."

"Don't try and make me out to be the bad girl here!" Noire crossed her arms. "You're the one who went all googily eyed at the sight of Vert's breasts!"

"I… I didn't," Naruto looked away awkwardly.

"Seriously," Noire sighed. "If you weren't so easily swayed by breasts I wouldn't have to keep an eye on you!"

"If I was really so easily manipulated wouldn't I follow your orders unquestionably? I mean you two aren't exactly hard to look at." He gestured at their chests.

"W-w-what?" Noire and Uni covered their chests and glared at Naruto.

"You pervert!" Noire declared. "Prison extension five years!"

"You naughty boy!" His collar chirped. "Sentence extension five years! Only 75 years until freedom!"

"Wait 75 years?" Naruto blinked. "When did my sentence get that high? Last time I checked it was 30 years." Naruto blinked. "And that's not what I meant. I'm just staying that if I was motivated purely by how attractive a woman is then I would follow your orders unquestionably."

"W-w-what?!" Uni squeaked.

"D-don't think you can sweet talk me into letting you out!" Noire declared.

There was a knock at the door before Naruto could respond.

"Who's there?" Noire narrowed her eyes as the door opened and Cave walked in.

"My apologies for interrupting," Cave bowed her head slowly before looking at Naruto. "We meet again Panty Sniffer-kun. Should I count myself lucky that I was not liberated of my undergarments in our encounter?"

"I'm not a pervert!" Naruto wailed.

"I would advise against harassing one of my citizens." Noire stepped between Cave and Naruto.

"Noire!" Naruto beamed at her.

"S-shut up!" She glared at him. "I'm not doing this for you alright? I'm only doing it because it makes me look bad!"

"Vert-sama requests your presence," Cave bowed her head once more.

"Uni," Noire glanced at her sister. "Ensure Naruto never leaves this room!"

"Right!" Uni nodded.

"What am I? The pet hamster." Naruto sighed as Cave escorted Noire out of the room.

"Onee-sama is just worried that Vert will do something to try and take you away from her." Uni smiled.

"Well whatever," Naruto got off of the seat he was laid down on. "I'm going to the toilet."

Uni sat and watched TV until there was a knock at the door.

"Get in here," Chika ushered several people in before leaving the new arrivals with Uni.

"Hey it's Uni!" Neptune waved energetically as she was ushered into the room along with IF and Nepgear.

"Ah!" Nepgear smiled at her. "It is good to see you."

"What are you doing here?" Uni asked.

"Well someone got someone else into trouble," IF gave Neptune a look causing the goddess to laugh and hit herself on the head.

"So I had to come and clear the name of Not Jiraiya-san!" Neptune declared as if she were undertaking an epic quest.

"Who?" Uni blinked.

"The Panty sniffer!" Neptune announced proudly.

"Ninja-san?" Uni blinked.

"Oh you know him?" Neptune tilted her head.

"He did mention that he knew Noire so it's no surprise he knows Uni," IF pointed out.

"That's right!" Neptune clapped her hands. "Is he here?"

"He's in the bathroom." Uni frowned. "Come to think of it he has been in there for a while." She walked up to the bathroom. "Ninja-san? Are you alright?"

There was no response.

"Ninja-san?" Uni tried the door and found that it wasn't locked.

"Oh hoh?" Neptune smiled. "Is Uni planning to peek on Ninja-san in the bathroom?"

"Oh my," Nepgear blushed slightly. "I didn't know that Uni-chan had such a hobby,"

"I… What?!" Uni blushed, "It isn't like that! He has been in there for a while and isn't answering."

"Oh?" Nepgear looked worried. "I hope Ninja-san is alright."

"Should I check?" Uni glanced at Nepgear.

"Don't worry about it," Neptune laughed as she pushed Uni and Nepgear into the bathroom.

"Onee-sama!" Nepgear sighed as she stood up in the bathroom.

"Oh no…" Uni ran over to the open window. "Ninja-san must have snuck out!"

"Actually," there was a voice from the shower as a completely naked Naruto coughed awkwardly.

"S-sorry!" Nepgear and Uni blushed as they quickly retreated.

"Onee-sama!" Nepgear pointed at a laughing Neptune. "That wasn't funny!"

"My bad!" She continued to laugh.

"Ninja-san was in the shower, completely naked!" Nepgear remarked with tears in her eyes.

"Oh hoh!" Neptune smirked. "And you got a good look at him? To think my beloved little sister is a pervert…"

"It's your fault!" Nepgear sighed.

"It's not like I wanted to see him naked!" Uni crossed her arms. "I didn't want to see that… that thing."

"Uni-chan saw his…" Nepgear trailed off.

"W-w-what do you mean? I didn't intend to!"

"But I managed to avoid looking at it." Nepgear remarked.

"My, my," Compa smiled. "I never knew that Uni had such hobbies."

"I know right?" Neptune shook her head. "Such dirty thoughts."

"Really dirty thoughts," IF shook her head.

"Super dirty thoughts," Compa adde00d.

"Dirty thoughts?" Uni huffed. "I'm traumatised after seeing something so… so… despicable!"

"I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you later." Naruto announced as he left the bathroom fully dressed but his blonde hair still damp.

"M-m-make it up to me?!" Uni went bright red as her mind strayed passed ecchi and headed full steam towards hentai. "B-b-b-b-but I'm n-not r-r-r-ready!" She squeaked before passing out.

"Er… Did I miss something?" Naruto blinked.

"She is just suffering from dirty thoughts!" Neptune beamed.

"Neptune?" Naruto blinked. "Nice to see you again, you two Compa and Iffy. I hope it wasn't too traumatic walking in on me like that Nepgear."

"It… It wasn't traumatic," Nepgear bowed her head shyly and started to twirl a strand of her hair. "I mean… Ninja-san looks after himself so… it wasn't…" She trailed off quietly.

"Yeah that sucks," Neptune nodded. "You should buy us all pudding to apologise!" Neptune started to drool.

"I would but there is no pudding here," Naruto smiled slightly. "And I am forbidden from leaving this room."

"Well that sucks majorly!" Neptune declared. "What kind of level design forgets to include pudding?! I'll have to have a word with the game developer!"

"…Eh?" Naruto blinked. "Are you alright?"

"Nepnep says strange things some times," Compa smiled.

"Right…" Naruto shrugged. "Well whatever. How are you all anyway?"

"I am good thank you Panty Sniffer-san." IF smiled.

"That's not my name." Naruto's shoulders dropped.

"We know Not-Jiraiya-san." Neptune laughed as she patted him on his back. "I'm good though. Thanks for asking." She looked at him slyly. "Are you trying to butter me up to smell my panties again?"

"N-no!" Naruto shook his head furiously.

"Wow you didn't have to deny it so harshly," Neptune looked down.

"Ah… I didn't mean anything by it I just meant that only someone you like should do those sorts of things." Naruto looked away awkwardly.

"Well that's fine then!" Neptune gave him a thumbs up. "I like you!"

"W-what?"

"I have fun playing with you the other day! You should just come to Planeptune with us!"

"But… I still have to pay off my debt to Noire."

"I will pay it off for you!" Neptune declared. "Then we can play ninja!"

"My dad always said that a boy and a girl should only play doctor together." Compa smiled.

"Oh I've never played that before." Neptune blinked. "Maybe we should play doctor next time you are in Planeptune!"

"Er…" Naruto looked around awkwardly. "I… Well… I guess I could but I don't really know how to."

"Oh hoh?" Neptune smiled. "You want to play with my naked body? You pervert!" She laughed.

"Mr Ninja is such a pervert." Compa smiled.

"What do you expect from the legendary Panty Sniffer?" IF added.

"W-what?!" Naruto leapt back. "Is that how you play that?"

"Of course you know that." Neptune smiled. "You just want to play with my body. You pervert you." She wagged a finger at him. "But if it is Not-Jiraiya-san…" She started to unzip her hoodie.

"W-w-w-what are you doing?!" Naruto covered his eyes, leaving a big enough gap for him to watch her thought.

"Ahahaha!" Neptune laughed as she stopped teasing Naruto. "Well you seem to be in good shape. I guess that means Vert hasn't killed you so I don't need to talk to her! Well I'll see you later… URK!" She cried out in alarm as IF grabbed her by the ear.

"Not so fast!" IF twitched angrily as she dragged Neptune by her ear. "It's time to be responsible."

"Nooo!" Neptune wailed as she was dragged off by IF. "I don't want to be responsible!"

"Deal with it!" IF snapped.

"Well that happened," Naruto blinked as he watched one of the goddesses get pulled away. "You know… at times I really find it hard to believe Neptune is a goddess."

"I don't really think of her as a goddess." Compa smiled. "Nepnep is Nepnep."

"I guess," Naruto smiled. "Then again from what I've seen of the others none of the goddesses exactly scream majestic. The closest to that is Noire."

"Oh? Does Ninja-san think Noire is majestic?"

"Well…" Naruto laughed weakly. "When I see her doing her best for Lastation… She kind of glows with a sort of noble aura."

"I know what you mean," Uni nodded in agreement.

"It sounds like you have a soft spot for Noire." Nepgear tilted her head cutely.

"W-w-what?" Naruto staggered backwards. "Why would I have a soft spot for her? I mean sure she is kind of attractive and there are times when she is really nice but usually she is pure evil! I mean thanks to her I am enslaved for 75 years! Plus she keeps shocking me with this," Naruto tugged at the collar, "Although… She hasn't done that for a while and she did make me this forehead protector…" Naruto took off the metal plate and stared at the chibi drawings on the back. "I guess… she is kind of growing on me."

"My father always said people are like mould." Compa replied innocently.

"…I don't even know what to say to that," Naruto blinked before pausing as his stomach started to growl. "Urgh…"

"How much do you need to eat?" Uni frowned. "You have so much food sent to your cells but always seem to be hungry."

"Oh," Naruto laughed weakly.

"Oh is it Mr Dogoo?" Compa asked.

"Mr Dogoo?" Uni narrowed her eyes. "What does she mean?"

"Oh she means... mmph?" Nepgear's eyes widened as Naruto covered her mouth.

"Oh it's her nickname for my appetite because I eat like a dogoo?" Naruto suggested weakly.

"Ninja-san."

"Yes Uni-chan?"

"That's Uni-sama to you!" Uni flushed slightly at his choice of suffix, "Are you hiding something from me?"

"Not at all."

"You are a terrible liar."

"I have no idea what you mean," Naruto's grin was so forced it looked painful.

"Well… I guess if you don't want to tell me…" Uni crossed her arms. "I can't force you to."

"Urrgh…" Naruto felt guilty at her sad face. "Alright… Look," He opened his jumpsuit.

"W-w-w-what are you doing?" Uni covered her face, "I don't want to see that thing again?! Is that Mr Dogoo?! That's what you called it because it is so big?!"

"It's big?" Naruto blinked. "Hehehe," He grinned smugly.

"W-w-what are you making me say?!" Uni flailed her arms.

"I was going to show you this," Naruto waited as the blue slime started to ooze out of his outfit and form the shape of a dogoo. "This is Gamakichi Mark Two, or Kichi for short."

"Why Mark Two?" Uni blinked. "Does he have some sort of upgrade like increased attack and defence?"

"….What?"

"Never mind," Uni glanced at the Dogoo. "Where did that come from?"

"Well… Remember the first mission I did for Noire?"

"Oh with all the Dogoo that merged and then you caused them to explode?" Uni remembered the event.

"Y-yeah that one." Naruto coughed. "Well some of the slime was stuck to my outfit and well… when I got back in the cell and fell to sleep when I woke up… there he was."

Kichi bounced excitedly.

"So yeah," Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "I've kind of been raising him."

"So that's why you are so hungry all the time," Uni chuckled. "Dogoo can eat an infinite amount of food. But you do know you don't have to feed it right? They can simply absorb moisture and sunlight to live."

"W-what?!" Naruto looked at Kichi. "You stole my Ramen and you didn't even need to!"

Kichi suddenly span around and raced out of the room.

"Get back here!" Naruto chased after the dogoo that moved far faster than anyone had ever seen a dogoo move.

"W-wait!" Uni yelled out. "Onee-sama told me not to let you leave this room!" She chased after Naruto.

"So…" Compa glanced at Nepgear. "We following them GeGe?"

"Of course," Nepgear looked determined. "Onee-sama left me an important mission!"

"Oh?"

"She said next time we were to meet Ninja-san." Nepgear smiled at Compa. "To convince him to come back to Planeptune to play with us again."

"Right!" Compa looked fired up. "Team Planeptune go!" She cried out as the two girls chased after Uni.

With Naruto

"Get back here you slimy little bastard!" Naruto roared as he chased after the dogoo as he weaved through the civilians of Leanbox, most of which recognised his appearance from the wanted poster and quickly got out of his way. Had he not been so focused on punishing the little blob he might have had time to take in the local scenery. Leanbox was an interesting place with a peaceful feel about it (at least until Naruto tore his way through the paved streets). It kind of reminded Naruto of home, lots of green and strong looking buildings. "I've almost got you!" Naruto grinned as he closed in on the dogoo who suddenly flattened himself on the floor. "W-what?!" Naruto slipped over the puddle form and fell head over heels, crashing into a girl. "S-sorry!"

"Huh?" The girl rubbed her head. "Oh no worries!" The girl beamed at her. "Although… If you'd stop squeezing my boobs that would be great!" She chirped happily.

"Oh sorry!" Naruto released her and stood up, taking in the girl's appearance. She had quite fair skin as well as bright orange hair with a strand that stuck out from the top in a strange whirl pattern. _'Not to mention boobs that are as big as that Vert ladies… Wait what am I thinking?!'_ Naruto shook his head furiously.

Meanwhile in Konoha

"Hehe… Good… Job… Naruto… Embrace… Your inner… pervert…" A badly beaten Jiraiya gave a thumbs up to the corner of the dungeon cell he was chained up in.

"Er… Tsunade-sama. I think you have hit him enough." Shizune coughed. "He seems to be hallucinating."

"Fine," Tsunade rubbed her bloody knuckles. "You." She pointed at Jiraiya. "I don't care how. I want Naruto back here."

"But the crater…" Shizune paused. "Do you really think he could have survived?"

"Yes…" Tsunade put a hand on her heart. "I know somewhere he is alive and well. I can feel it."

"If you say so," Shizune bowed her head.

"Now… Go for another grope my apprentice." Jiraiya moaned.

"Maybe a few more punches are in order," Tsunade growled as she cracked her knuckles.

Back to Naruto

' _What strange eyes,'_ Naruto thought to himself as the girl got up. _'Red eyes with orange musical notes for pupils? And her outfit…'_ Naruto felt a blush. It looked like a white shirt that had a single button closed just below her impressive bust, which was fortunate as the shirt would have probably burst open has the girl tried to force it to close. In fact her outfit kind of looking like some sort of school uniform that Naruto had seen several people in Lastation wearing, the only real additions were a red ribbon she wore around her neck and a grey jumper that was wrapped around her waist. _'Wait… she's carrying two katana? This girl could be dangerous.'_

"Oh my?" She tilted her head. "Are you alright?"

"Eh?"

"You were just staring at me." She beamed.

"Oh… sorry…" Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "I just noticed the swords you were carrying."

"Oh these?" She laughed. "I'm a ninja see!"

"N-Ninja?" Naruto took a step back.

"That's right!" She saluted. "MarvelousAQL at your service!"

"What a… unique name…" Naruto blinked.

"There he is!" A loud female voice caused Naruto to turn around to see a small group of civilians pointing halberds at him.

"Er… can I help you?"

"We heard from Oracle-sama…" The lead pointed her halberd at Naruto. "You are the evil pervert, the Panty Sniffer! You have come to try and defile our Goddess! But we won't let you!"

"Oh my! Sounds like you have a fun time ahead of you," MarvelousAQL patted Naruto on his shoulder. "Enjoy yourself! I have to log out!"

"What do you…" Naruto was interrupted by her vanishing in a swirl of leaves, leaving a wooden stump in her place. "I don't get it."

"Get him girls!"

"Crap," Naruto frowned. _'I can't attack them… I'm already in trouble with Leanbox and Noire would probably shock me into a coma if I made matters worse. When I get hold of Kichi….'_ Naruto formed a hands seal and summoned a small army of clones who set off in all different directions, leaving a small girl that the enraged mob ignored.

"That was surprisingly easy," Naruto remarked as he cancelled his henge. "Now where did that slimy little bleeder get to?" He set off in a random direction.

"Hm? He is a ninja too!" MarvelousAQL remarked from her perch on top of a building. "Maybe I have found someone to pass my techniques onto!" She beamed. "Let's see how you deal with this situation Panty Sniffer-kun." She smiled before vanishing from sight.

Later On

"Finally... We are in Thunder Tit's territory," Blanc narrowed her eyes as she led her carriage into Leanbox in her base form.

"Welcome to Leanbox." Several girls dressed up as maids stood before her, one with blonde twin tails and blue eyes that reminded Blanc of the heroic ninja who had saved her. She even had the strange birthmarks on her cheeks that he had. In front of the group stood Cave, looking calmly at the goddess. "May I ask what your business here is?"

"I am here to speak to Vert." Blanc stated coldly. "Take my luggage to a room."

"Is Lady Blanc planning to stay long?"

"I will stay as long as it takes to clear the name of my fiancé."

"As you wish," Cave bowed her head. "The Leanbox Special Missions Department shall do everything to make sure your visit is as quick and pleasant as possible." She gestured to two of the maids behind her who grabbed the suitcases and started to unload them.

"Why is the special missions department on standby?" Blanc asked. "And why are you wearing maid's outfits?"

"Lady Noire is visiting to discuss matters of state." The blonde girl calmly stated. "And we wear these outfits to show our allegiance to Cave-sama."

"I see…" Blanc narrowed her eyes. _'Are they planning to form some sort of Goddess Breast alliance?'_

"And Lady Neptune… Just showed up."

"Sounds about right for her," Blanc remarked calmly. "Careful with that!" She narrowed her eyes at one of the maids who dropped the suitcase.

"Ouch!" The suitcase cried out.

"Rom-neechan be quiet." Another voice came from the suitcase.

"Sorry neechan." The original voice sounded genuinely sorry.

Blanc marched over to the suitcases and ripped them open.

"Oh hey." Ram grinned widely.

"S-sorry," Rom bowed her head as the twins climbed out of the suitcase.

"What are you doing here?" Blanc's tone was level.

"Because big sister went to play with the other goddesses but wouldn't let us leave Lowee!" Ram crossed her arms. "Big sis is a meanie face!"

"Ah…" Rom looked worried as she glanced between her twin and the blank faced Blanc.

"I told you to stay with Mina." Blanc replied.

"Well we are here now!" Ram declared.

"…Take them with my luggage." Blanc turned around. _'I will deal with them after I have resolved the issue with Ninja-san.'_

"But we want to play!" Ram protested.

"I believe Lady Nepgear and Lady Uni are waiting for their sisters as well. I could take you to them if you wish." Cave suggested.

"Really?!" Ram brightened up. "That would be great!"

"If you would follow me," Cave started to walk away, the twins following her as the rest of the maid's escorted Blanc towards the building where Noire, Vert and Neptune were.

"Say Maid-san!" Ram tilted her head. "Do you know where the ninja is?"

"Ninja?" Cave frowned slightly. "I am sure young girls such as yourself are safe from him."

"Safe from him?" Ram looked confused. "I wanted to play with him!"

"He is a bad man and he does… naughty things that gets him into a lot of trouble."

"I do naughty things that get me into trouble with Onee-sama all the time!" Ram declared proudly. "This Ninja sounds awesome! Maybe he could teach me some things."

Cave chose not to comment. It was probably the safest option.

With Naruto

"They are damn persistent," Naruto panted as he peered out of the alley he was hiding in. Every time he lost the angry mob, they always seem to stumble on to him. It was almost as if someone was directing the crowd towards him every damn time.

"There he is!" An angry female voice yelled.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Naruto turned to see the angry mob advancing from behind him.

"Fear not Perverted Master!" A loud booming voice sounded out from all around him.

"It's them!" The mob seemed to glow with feminine fury. "The LoP!"

"LoP?" Naruto repeated as suddenly several figures appeared on the roof tops surrounding him. "Oh gods…"

All around them were men of varying shapes and sizes but they all wore the same uniform. A bright green mankini and a pair of white frilly pants over their heads with their hair poking out from the leg holes. The rest of their body was exposed to the world and Naruto found himself wondering if the men of this dimension were all just ridiculously hairy or hadn't discovered shaving yet.

"The League of Perverts defends their own against the cruel world that condemns a man for having hot blooded desires!"

"Desires?" Naruto blinked.

"Yes Legendary Panty Sniffer-kun!" One of the LoP members gave him a thumbs up.

"That's not my name!" Naruto sighed. "And I'm not…"

"Fear not PS-Kun!" Another LoP member nodded sagely. "You are amongst likeminded individuals. Welcome to the LoP!" He threw a pair of panties at Naruto who snatched them out of the air. "…Why are these warm? And why the hell are you throwing panties at me?!"

"Those panties are a sign of your membership! Wear them with pride!"

"Urgh…" Naruto flinched at being associated with such a strange group. "Why do these things always happen to me?"

"Enemy of women!" The women brandished their spears and charged.

"Enemy of Desires!" The LoP yelled right back. "Go PS-kun. Fulfil your destiny.

"My destiny?"

"Yes… To sniff the panties of all the Goddesses!"

"Don't go giving me such a lame destiny!" Naruto yelled at the perverts. "But thanks for helping… wait what are you guys doing?!"

The LoP fell on the floor in front of the woman, who proceeded to kick the living daylights out of them.

"LoP… Elite M-Squadron… Endure!" One of the LoP members cried out.

"M-squadron?" Naruto blinked. "Oh wait… I get it." He blinked and slipped away whilst the women vented their fury and the M-Squad got a kick both figuratively and literally.

"Ninja-san!" A friendly voice interrupted Naruto's train of thought as he left the alleyway.

"Nepgear?" Naruto glanced at Nepgear. "And you found Kichi!"

"That's right. Compa-chan managed to lure him out with food." Nepgear smiled as the excitable Kichi squirmed in her arms. "What's going in on in that alley way?"

"You don't need to see what is going on there," Naruto coughed and gently put his arm around her steered her away from the alleyway.

"Eh?" Nepgear looked confused but didn't resist.

"Ah… There you are…" Uni ran towards them panting. "I was… Wait a second!" She noticed Naruto's arm around Nepgear. "W-w-w-what the hell?!" She pushed Nepgear and Naruto apart. "Don't get so close to Nepgear alright?!"

"Sorry?" Naruto blinked.

"Just so that you understand," Uni turned to Nepgear. "You don't want to get too close to that one. He'll probably steal your underwear to sniff later!"

"I am sure Ninja-san wouldn't do that."

"Nepgear!" Naruto took her hands in his own. "It's so good for someone to actually believe in me."

"Oh then what are these?" Uni snatched some panties out of his pocket. "Are these Nepgear's?!"

"Ah you see… A wandering pervert game them to me?!" Naruto laughed weakly.

"Here," Uni gave the panties back to Nepgear. "This is why Onee-sama told me not to let you out of the room! Now let's go back!" Uni stormed off

"Yeah… Let's do that." Naruto sighed softly.

"Er… Mr Ninja?" Nepgear looked around shyly before giving the panties Uni had taken from him back to him. "Er… If Mr Ninja wants them so badly…" She ran off blushing up a storm.

"I don't particularly want some stranger's panties though…" Naruto's shoulders slumped. "Why does everyone think I am a pervert?"

Back in Lastation

Kei sighed softly as she finished the last of the paper work and started walking down the hallway, regretting that she hadn't the foresight to ask Naruto to leave behind one of his clones to help with the work. She had to admit she was surprised just how useful the blonde was to Lastation. Since he had joined Noire's team the bounties were being completed in record time and Lastation's sharecite was glowing strongly as the people's faith in Noire rocketed to an all-time high.

Kei walked into the room where the source of the share energy was stored and smiled slightly as she saw the indent in the wall where the share energy had launched Naruto after he had touched it.

"Still," Kei murmured. "The sharecite decided to try and pass its energy into Ninja-san. I wonder why it did that… Others have touched that crystal and not provoked such a reaction. Weirder still is that fact that the amount of share energy he was exposed to should have crippled him and caused untold pain if not kill him outright. Yet he seemed largely unaffected…" She walked up to the glowing crystal. "I wonder…" Kei pursed her lips. "If Noire-sama is having fun in Leanbox. If nothing else Ninja-san is making things more interesting for Noire-sama…" She frowned. "But eventually his service will be finished and he will probably go back to his own dimension. If he can find a way…" Kei sighed softly. "I feel it would be beneficial for both Ninja-san and Noire-sama if he were to stay but… I promised that I would help him and a promise should never be broken." She glanced at a small pedestal that had several tattered sheets of paper that showed various ramen recipes. "I only hope Noire-sama can convince him to stay in Lastation."

To Naruto again

"I'm not leaving this room again," Naruto groaned as he walked into the room Vert had assigned them. "Seriously… Leanbox is full of crazy people. I can't wait to go back home."

"Missing your cell?" Uni blinked.

"Cell?" Nepgear frowned slightly. "Why are you making Ninja-san sleep in a cell?"

"I'm not!" Uni protested her innocence. "Onee-sama just hasn't gotten around to finding him a house yet."

"I meant my own dimension," Naruto clarified.

"Oh," Uni looked slightly disappointed. "So you don't want to stay?"

"Don't get me wrong, you girls are alright," Naruto beamed at them. "But still… I don't belong here."

"Do you really feel that way?" Nepgear asked as she sat down next to Naruto. "Do you not feel happy here?"

"It's not that," Naruto sighed. "It's just… I always had a dream you know? I'm an orphan and all my life I was hated for something I had no control over. I swore that I would earn their respect, earn their affection…" He closed his eyes. "I swore I would become the leader of my home and then everyone would have no choice but to acknowledge me."

"If they can't see how good a person you are," Nepgear smiled at him, "Then maybe they don't deserve that chance."

"Nepgear?" Naruto blinked.

"Ninja-san is a good person." She said as she idly kicked her legs. "My big sister may seem simple but she is an excellent judge of character and she really likes you."

"She's right you know," Uni added, "For all your faults and by Lastation you have a lot of them, you are not a bad person. If they hate you then why bother trying to change their minds?"

"I…" Naruto closed his eyes. "I have a few people who genuinely care for me. I can't abandon them."

"Naruto…" Uni sat down next to Naruto and froze in horror as the noisiest fart any of the room's inhabitants had ever heard cave from Uni.

"Are you alright?" Naruto coughed weakly.

"It wasn't me!" A bright red Uni declared.

"Uni-chan… Maybe you should be more careful what you eat," Nepgear suggested.

"Not you too Nepgear!" She got up and left the room.

"Huh," Naruto picked up a strange rubber cushion from where Uni had sat.

"Did you see her face?" A voice that sounded like it was struggling to hold in its laughter came from the bathroom.

"Ram? Rom?" Nepgear blinked as the two twins emerged. "What are you two doing here?"

"We are here with big sis," Ram declared as Rom hid behind her. "She's here to talk about the Panty Ninja!"

"… I think I preferred it when I had mobs out for my head back home," Naruto mumbled as a cloud of depression formed over him. "Demon child is at least a cooler sounding title than Panty Ninja…"

"That wasn't very nice," Nepgear gently chastised the twins. "Uni-chan was upset by your prank." She took the whoopee cushion from Naruto and gave to the twins. "You should apologise to her."

"Sorry," Rom looked genuinely sorry, Ram slightly less so. "When we see her… we will make sure to apologise to her."

"It was only a bit of fun," Ram bowed her head.

"I'll go talk to her," Nepgear smiled and left the twins with Naruto.

"So…." Ram stared at Naruto. "You are the ninja?"

"Huh?" He snapped out of his depression, "Yeah that's me."

"Oooh!" Ram's eyes sparkled. "I'll bet you know all sorts of cool Ninja tricks!"

"Well," Naruto blushed at the praise, "I don't like to brag but I know quite a few awesome abilities!"

"Really?!"

"Really," Naruto formed his favourite hand seal. "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

"Yo!" The shadow clone waved at the twins.

"Wow…" Ram's eyes were so wide they took up most of her face.

"That… That is cool…" Rom agreed in a much quieter voice.

"Right?" Naruto grinned widely. "Of course that's only the start of my awesome ninja abilities."

"Teach us Onii-san!" Ram hugged his leg and gave him her best puppy dog expression.

"Er… Well…" Naruto felt his will being sapped by those big eyes.

"We shouldn't trouble ninja Ni-san." Rom quietly tugged her sister off of Naruto's leg.

' _Damn it… There's just like the little sisters I never had! No Naruto! You cannot teach Ninja stuff to little girls. Who knows what harm they could cause themselves!'_

"Sorry Ninja-nii," Ram curtsied.

"I guess it couldn't hurt to teach you a few things…" Naruto searched through his jumpsuit, "Aha! Here you go." He handed a small scroll to them.

"Oh wow… Is this some sort of ninja artefact?!" Ram beamed.

"It's a basic training guide for people who want to become ninja," Naruto smiled as he ruffled her hair.

"Hehehe…" Ram grinned. "This is going to be great! Come on Rom!"

"H-Hai…" Rom started to follow Ram but hesitated. "Thank you Ninja Ni-san."

"Aww…" Naruto ruffled her hair too. "You are very welcome." He watched the two huddle in a corner and read the scroll. "Maybe I should see if I can get in contact with the fuzz butt. He was very reluctant to help me out earlier…" Naruto got into a meditative pose and shut his eyes.

With Nepgear and Uni

"Can't believe that idiot thought that was me…" Uni scowled as she stood leaning on a balcony and staring at the scenery before her. Whilst some people liked Leanbox, Uni would always prefer her home. She didn't feel right without the sounds of industry forming a rhythmic background to daily life.

"Uni-chan?" Nepgear walked up beside her. "Are you alright?"

"It wasn't me!"

"I know," She smiled reassuringly at Uni who blushed and looked away. "Rom and Ram are here."

"Those two?" Uni sighed. "That makes sense. I'll have to have a word with them later. Making me look bad in front of you and Ninja-san!"

"You know that I wouldn't care about that sort of thing," Nepgear reassured her.

"I know," Uni leaned sidewards, resting her head on Nepgear's shoulder. "But still…"

"You are worried what Ninja-san will think? "

"I… I don't care what he thinks," Uni mumbled before falling silent for a few moments. "But if I _did_ and this is only hypothetical of course."

"Of course." Nepgear smiled softly .

"Do you think that… He'd…" Uni trailed off.

"I am sure he finds you just as cute as I do." Nepgear smiled.

"Gege!" Uni went bright red. "D-d-don't say things like that."

"Oh?" Nepgear looked slightly sad. "I'm sorry."

"Argh…" Uni glanced at Nepgear's downcast expression. "I didn't… I mean…" She sighed. "While I appreciate the thought there is a time and place you know?"

"You are so cute when you get embarrassed." Nepgear chuckled softly.

"Geez, why you have to go poking fun at me like that?" Uni sighed.

"Sorry, sorry," Nepgear patted her on her head. "There, there."

"Just be quiet will you," Uni returned to leaning her head on Nepgear's shoulder who in return leaned on Uni. The two of them just staring at the scenery in a comfortable silence.

"Say Nepgear?"

"Yes Uni-chan?"

"What do you think of the Ninja?"

"I think he is a good person."

"Yeah but… He still hasn't told us his name."

"I am sure he has his reasons." Nepgear smiled. "After all he is still going to go back to the dimension he is from. Maybe he thinks that if we know his name then we will get attached to him and it will hurt us when he finally leaves."

"The idiot," Uni scoffed. "As if knowing someone's name is required to have feelings for someone."

"…Is Uni-chan saying she has feelings for Ninja-san?"

"I… What? No! I meant he is… well he is kind of like a pet Dogoo," Uni mumbled embarrassed. "He is a lot of trouble but you can't help but enjoying time spent with him."

"I know what you mean." Nepgear nodded. "Playing with Ninja-san is quite fun! All of us at Planeptune would love for him to stay."

"Yeah?" Uni sighed softly. "But one day he will find his way back home."

"True," Nepgear agreed. "But the question is… what is home?"

"That's obvious, where you are from," Uni remarked.

"That sounds like the sort of answer my sister would give." Nepgear stared at the sky. "But I feel…" She put her hands on her heart, "I feel home is wherever the heart feels content."

"Oh?" Uni frowned. "I guess…"

"That's why my home is wherever my friends are." Nepgear smiled at Uni.

"I-Idiot," Uni mumbled. "Saying such things…"

The two spoke no more words and simply enjoyed each other's company. It was rare that they had much time to do so although after the peace treaty was signed Nepgear was certain it would be easier for everyone to play together.

She could hardly wait.

Naruto's Mindscape

"Hello?" Naruto scowled as he wandered through the sewer that was his mindscape and approached the gate with the seal on it. "Well that's new." He blinked.

Rather than the giant fox he was expecting, Naruto was treated to a huge sphere of burning red chakra, pulsating and swirling like an unstable rasengan of pure Bijuu chakra. There was no sign of the Kyuubi.

"Well this is clearly a trap," Naruto crossed his arms. "YOU TRYING TO LURE ME INTO THAT CELL EH?" He yelled at the darkness.

"GO AWAY!" A voice Naruto didn't recognise yelled back.

"Eh?" Naruto blinked. "Hello?"

"I said GO AWAY!" The voice was clearly female and had a haughty edge to it.

"…Who the hell are you?!" Naruto scowled.

"Who else would I be you stupid blonde haired brat! I thought no-one could piss me off more than your father but on no. You had to exceed even him!"

"Show yourself!" Naruto scowled as a figure walked out of the darkness of the cell and into the light.

Whatever Naruto was expecting... This was not it. A girl that barely came above his waist strolled towards him, bright red eyes aflame with rage. Nine cute little tails and two fox ears poking out of a mane of red hair were the only clues to her former identity. She was also completely naked and showed no signs of concern over him seeing her naked form.

"Kyuubi?"

"Look what you did to me!" The pint sized bijuu stomped her feet. "I am the almighty Kyuubi reduced to... to... this!"

"You look kind of cute now at least."

"Cute?! I am the destroyer of villages, the worst nightmare of the Elemental nations! I am NOT CUTE!"

"Aww..." Naruto smirked. "Look at lil Kyu-chan. Does Kyu-chan want to go beddy bye?"

"I AM EVIL INCARNATE! YOU SHOULD BE BOWING BEFORE MY GREATNESS YOU SLUG!"

"Now, now. If Kyu-chan doesn't stop being cranky it will be an early bed time!"

"I AM NOT A CHILD!" Kyuubi burst into tears. "I... I... I am all powerful..."

"There, there..." Naruto rubbed her head. "Feel better?"

"Thanks," Kyuubi sniffled. "Where do you get off huh?"

"Eh?"

"Touching the almighty Kyuubi so freely?! Die you worthless slug!" She started kicking his shin but only succeeded in stubbing her toe causing her to glare at him with tears in her eyes.

"Now, now," Naruto smiled. "Don't you think you should be wearing clothes?"  
"Clothes are a trivial invention of you stupid monkeys!" Kyuubi crossed her arms and pouted. "I don't want to wear them."

"But people might stare at you and get nasty thoughts."

"You are the only person who can see me." Kyuubi froze. "Oh gods you are attractive to this weak form?! You sick perverted slug! Be gone from my presence Ninja slug!" She covered her petit form with her tails. "I can feel your lust you foul excuse of a slug!"

"Quit calling me a slug or I'll..." Naruto's eyes glittered with malice. "I'll spank you."

"W-w-w-w-what?!" Kyuubi squeaked, her ears flattening themselves at the side of her head and a look of absolute horror on her face. "S-s-s-stay away you perverted slug! Ramen Topping! Moron!" She hurled abuse at Naruto whilst retreating into the depths of his mindscape.

"Huh..." Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "That happened. Hey wait a second! Why the hell aren't you paying your rent?!"

"Why do you think you ignorant slug!" Kyuubi's voice called from the shadows. "I can't access my own chakra thanks to that crystal you decided to play with!"

"Eh?"

"Let me put it in terms that even an idiot like you can understand. When you touched that strange crystal it started to feed energy into you and repress my own."

"Aw… Is lil' Kyu-chan upset that something tried to take her place as my back up?"

"When I get to my full size again I was maul you half to death then grind you into a soup and drink you!" Kyuubi snarled. "But continuing my story I tried to fight back and well… It infected me. I tried to separate the infected chakra from myself but… Apparently I was the infected Chakra."

"So that giant ball of chakra…"

"Is my chakra that split away from me when I was corrupted."

"So if I were to go and try and steal it…"

"Hah! As if a lowly slug such as yourself could possibly control such a vast amount of chakra! Only one as powerful as we could do so."

"We? Is there more than one of you? Do I have an army of furry lolis in here?!"

"We are using the royal we you ignorant slug!"

"Oh. Kyu-chan's going potty?"

"I WILL FUCKING END YOU!"

"Language!" Naruto wagged his finger. "So let me get this straight. Thanks to that crystal the one advantage of having you sealed inside me is now completely nullified?"

"…It is possible that a bridge between you and it could be formed." Kyuubi remarked. "But if you want me to find a way to do it… I'll need some sort of compensation for my efforts."

"Such as?"

"We wish to be released. It is intolerable to be locked inside such a lowly slug such as yourself."

"You see… that would kill me."

"… How typically selfish of a loathsome slug such as yourself."

"Seriously? What do you have against slugs?!"

"They're slimy and icky."

"…I present to you the Kyuubi no Youko!"

"Shut up slug breath! As I was saying. It is typical of your kind not to be willing to pay your life in order to achieve a greater goal. When you need my chakra you will come back begging for our assistance!"

"Seriously? My dad sacrificed himself to save me and my village!"

"It's all about you isn't it? Well since we are so magnanimous and forgiving… we will overlook your selfish nature. If a way to release us without killing you is discovered you will release me. Agreed?"

"I…" Naruto rubbed his eyelids. "Fine. If I have your chakra I doubt you'll be able to do much damage. I've got to say though, even in pint sized form you are still a colossal pain in my ass."

"We are finished talking." Kyuubi remarked bluntly and Naruto opened his eyes to an amazing sight.

Back in Reality

"Kyaah!"

"Huh?" Naruto opened his eyes to see Uni and Neptune currently suspended upside down with their lips touching and their breasts squeezed together. They were wrapped together and completely unable to move and try and cover their underwear that was now on display as their skirts obeyed the laws of gravity. "…What?"

"Oh my," Compa titled her head. "It looks like Gege and Uni are having a make out session!"

"MMPH!" Uni tried to say something but was silenced by the shocked looking Uni's lips that were pinned to her own.

"Hahaha!" Ram beamed. "It looks like Ninja-nii's trap book works!"

"Trap book?! I gave you a basic chakra control exercise?!"

"Yeah but we couldn't do it," Ram shrugged. "So we raided your body for anything more interesting."

"Mmph!" Uni tried to speak but her lips were pressed firmly against Nepgear's.

"I have to admit that is impressive trap work for a beginner." Naruto nodded sagely. "You would make a great ninja!" He gave Ram a thumbs up.

"Well, I can't take all the credit. Rom helped!"

"Er…" Rom shyly looked at her feet as Naruto turned his attention to her.

"Good job!" Naruto ruffled the two girl's hair who merely smiled.

"MMPH!" y

"Hai, Hai," Naruto turned to the blushing Uni. "Are you two okay?"

"Mmph?!" Uni tried to speak.

"Right…" Naruto pulled a kunai from his holster and cut down the girls.

"Thank you Ninja-san." Nepgear smiled.

"No worries," Naruto rubbed the back of his head with a smile. "Still I never thought I'd get to see that."

"See what?" Nepgear bowed her head.

"You two kissing," Naruto smiled. "That was… interesting."

"That w-w-wasn't a kiss!" Uni protested.

"She's right!" Nepgear smiled. "This is a kiss!" She kissed her on the cheek.

"W-w-w-w-w-what?!" Uni flailed as Naruto blinked in shock.

"Well…" Naruto blinked. "Yeah… So." He cleared his throat.

"Does Ninja-san want a kiss as well?"

"Well... If you are offering I… No! I must remain faithful to Sakura-chan!"

"Oh?" Uni perked up. "Who is Sakura-chan?"

"She's… Well… I guess she is a girl I really like!"

"Oh…" Nepgear sounded a little distant. "Ninja-san has someone he loves back in his home dimension."

"Y-yeah!" Naruto nodded. "Definitely," He added, feeling more than a little guilty that he had almost forgotten about his pink haired teammate until just now.

"I see…" Uni forced a smile. "Well I guess it will be all fine for you when you get to go back home huh?!"

"Er…" Naruto took a step back. "Did I say something wrong?"

"Idiot," Uni mumbled as she sat down on the couch.

"Why are you two here?" Nepgear diverted the conversation by talking to Rom and Ram.

"Big Sis came to do something about Ninja-nii's bounty." Ram stated. "Because she is going to marry him."

"…What?" Naruto, Nepgear and Uni blinked in unison.

"Yeah pretty sure that was what Onee-sama said."

"Marry?" Uni frowned at Naruto. "When did you two make this agreement?!"

"I have no idea who their sister is!" Naruto protested.

"From what I know about Blanc she is relatively humourless… Maybe she said murder and Ram-chan misheard her?" Uni suggested.

"M-m-murder?!" Naruto gulped.

"And of course Vert wants you to be punished for attacking her caravan…" Uni continued.

"P-Punished?"

"It if makes you feel better Nepnep wants to take you back to Planeptune!" Compa added.

"I have to know what's going on in that meeting…" Naruto narrowed his eyes.

"If you get in trouble even Onee-sama won't be able to save you," Uni warned him.

"You're right… I need a special agent!" He adjusted his tracksuit and Kichi oozed out before reforming and bouncing energetically. "Kichi… I have a mission for you."

A few moments later.

Kichi was a relatively simple creature. It liked to eat a lot. It also like the blonde human that fed it. Occasionally the blonde human would chase it and Kichi really liked those games. The blonde one was really bad at them. It also liked the big breasted girl which made the nice tasting food and dressed him up.

Currently he had fake stubble on his face as well as an eyepatch and wild hair on top of his head. He was no longer just Kichi… He was Solid Kichi, expert infiltrator and his mission was simple. Infiltrate the four goddesses meeting and record the conversation so that blonde human would know what they were talking about. His reward would be a full meal baked by the good cooking human.

As he silently oozed his way along the corridors and past the guards, it occurred to Kichi he had no idea what he was doing. The camera inside his body was set to record whatever he was looking at so he didn't need to do anything on that account but it did need to know who its target was and where to find them. Apparently the strange girl who was always yelling at the blonde human was one of the targets and Kichi could remember her scent but trying to get a strong whiff of the scent was difficult.

Whilst he stealthily slipped between the legs of a female guard, he paused to look up and got a good look at her panties before moving on. Apparently the blonde human liked to look at them so Kichi decided as a reward for being a good provider, Kichi would get pictures for the human to look at. Maybe he would get more food as a thank you.

He saw a small group of maid's pushing a trolley of food and instantly forgot his mission, sneaking under the maid's dress for the panty shot before stealthily sliming his way onto the tray and eating the hidden deserts, completely clearing the bottom shelf of the tray and then zoning out as he always felt tired after a hearty meal, being shaken from his half asleep state by the cart suddenly stopping.

"Thank you," A voice that Kichi recognised as the big breasted woman who had been on the TV talking to the blonde human and the strange, aggressive, black-haired human.

Kichi quickly left the trolley sneaking underneath the table that the four goddesses were sat at, taking as many panty shots as he could.

The blonde human would surely reward him with great food for this!

"So…" Noire scowled at the other goddesses. "What are you two doing here?"

"I'm just visiting!" Neptune laughed until IF hit her on the head. "Ouchie! Geez Iffy there's no wonder you don't have many friends!"

"I… I have plenty!" IF mumbled.

"As entertaining as this side act is," Vert smiled. "I would like to know why all the goddess are in my humble kingdom."

"W-well," Neptune laughed weakly. "There is the off chance that I… Mayhavehadsomethingtodowiththefactthatnotjiraya-sanwasonboardthevehiclethatirentedtyou. Well now that I've confessed man do I feel better. Bye!" She got up to leave until IF forced her to sit down again. "Come on Iffy! I took responsibility! I wanna go play with Nepgear and Not Jiraiya-san!"

"Who… Who is not Jiraiya-san?" Noire blinked.

"Oh right," Neptune smiled at Noire, "Your relationship with him isn't as good as mine right?"

"W-w-what does that mean?!" Noire stood up.

"Ninja-san revealed a personal detail about himself to me!" Neptune proudly declared. "Because we are best friends!"

"Lies." Blanc stated suddenly. "Ninja-san would not reveal anything like that to any other than me."

"Eh?!" Neptune and Noire glanced at the quiet goddess.

"What makes you think that you have such a good relationship with Ninja-san?!" Noire asked hotly.

"Yeah!" Neptune echoed. "Has he told you anything secret about him?"

"Now, now," Vert smiled patronisingly at Blanc. "Clearly Blanc-chan is just having a childish fantasy. After all," She leaned forward making sure her breasts were pushed forward, "We all know that Ninja-san has a healthy respect for an adult body and not a…" Her eyes quite clearly focused on Blanc's breasts or lack thereof. "Well I'm sure I don't need to spell it out to you."

"Oh yeah?" Blanc stood up suddenly sending her chair backwards. "You think your stupid udders will seduce him? Fat fucking chance Thunder Tits! He has already said that he despises those unholy mounds that are your replacement for any positive qualities."

"Oh my," Vert smiled dangerously. "I think it is time for little Blanc-chan to go to bed. I'll be sure to let Ninja-san know that you were here… When we are finished in the bedroom."

"W-w-w-what the fuck did you just say?!" Blanc transformed. "I'll fucking rip your breasts off and mount them on my wall!"

"You can try," Vert smiled as she transformed into a very revealing outfit like a school swimsuit that had most of the material on the front removed, revealing most her breasts and stomach. Her already impressive bust increased in size and her long blonde hair was now green and in a single ponytail. She idly twirled a spear in her hands. "You will fail… But you most certainly can try."

"Bitch!" Blanc charged Vert.

"STOP!" Neptune stood between the two goddesses.

"Eh?"

"Listen! This fighting is pointless!" She sighed. "I mean aren't we going to be signing the peace treaty soon?"

"I don't believe I am saying this but Neptune is right," Noire added.

"Hehehe!" Neptune laughed and rubbed the back of her head. "It feels strange to have Noire agree with me."

"S-shut up," Noire mumbled.

"So in the interests of peace there is only one solution." Neptune continued sagely.

"And that is?" Vert asked.

"That he stays with…" Noire started.

"Whoever can win the game!" Neptune finished.

"Wait what?!" Noire blinked.

"What are the rules," Vert and Blanc returned to their normal forms.

"Er… I got it!" Neptune clapped her hands. "We play hide and seek!"

"That is stupid," Blanc snorted.

"I have a much better idea," Vert smiled widely. "We have to seduce him."

"W-w-w-what?!"

"Oh hoh!" Neptune rubbed her chin. "That would be a fun game!"

"Seduce him?" Blanc frowned.

"Well if he truly is your beloved it should be easy for you right?" Vert stated.

"Of course," Blanc scowled.

"There you have it then!" Neptune declared.

"W-w-w-wait a second!" Noire blocked the exit as the other goddesses started to leave.

"If you don't want to take part then you don't have to." Vert smiled.

"I don't see why I should have to risk losing my Ninja-san!" Noire replied hotly.

"Yours?" Neptune smirked. "Does Noire-chan have feelings for Not Jiraiya-san?"

"N-No of course not!" She snapped. "But he owes Lastation a debt that must be repaid!"

"I will be sure to pay the debt when I win," Vert smiled. "How about one third of Leanbox's annual income will be sent to Lastation?

"Like hell you will," Blanc snarled. "I'll pay the same and throw in several rare crystals that have been excavated from the mountains near the border."

"I'll give you like ten whole puddings!" Neptune replied deadly serious.

"One third of Leanbox's annual income and the improved satellite resolution technology we have been working on!"

"My previous offer with access to the Gamindustri master satellite that we launched." Blanc countered.

"Twelve whole puddings! No wait… Eleven. I don't want to leave myself short of pudding. Plus sexy pictures of Nepgear!"

"NINJA-SAN IS NOT FOR SALE! HE IS MINE!" Noire yelled at the goddesses. "AND WHY WOULD I WANT NEPGEAR'S PICTURES?!"

"Well I suppose Uni would have more of an interest in them."

"Uni? Why would… No. Never mind that. Ninja-san will not leave Lastation!"

"Only if you win the game!" Neptune remarked. "Tell you what… I will do something unheard of in Planetpune's history… I will… Give you…" Neptune groaned with effort. "Fifteen puddings!"

"I don't even want to eat one of your puddings!" Noire snapped.

"SIXTEEN!" Neptune pointed at the ceiling. "I dare you to find a better offer!"

The goddesses were so involved in their bidding wars they never saw Kichi sneak out of the room.

Unfortunately for the dogoo, Chika was far more observant than the goddesses.

"Hey!" Chika raced after Kichi who ran around a corner. "Get back here! Huh?" She found herself in a long corridor with no windows and doors, just a single cardboard box in the middle of the room. "Really? End of the line… Hey what is that?" Chika noticed a picture on the floor. "A sexy photo of Vert-sama?!" She picked it up so engrossed in the picture she failed to notice the cardboard box sneaking by her. Unfortunately for Kichi, Chika wasn't the only one who had seen him.

"Where are you going Dogoo-san?" Cave kicked the box off of the dogoo and stared at it before stealing the camera out of it and sealing the dogoo in a jar.

"Kichi? Kichi? KIIICHI?!" Naruto's voice yelled out from a small headset in the dogoo's body.

"Interesting," Cave watched the recorded footage. "So Panty Sniffer-kun has a trained dogoo?"

"Panty shots?!" Chika grinned evilly. "I know have the evidence to convince Vert-sama to… wait those are Vert-sama's panties! I must take that for evidence!"

"Calm yourself," Cave remarked coldly as she held Chika away from the camera.

"I need it! I will die if I don't get it!" Chika moaned.

"I doubt that," Cave rolled her eyes.

"Yoink!" Naruto grinned as he swiped the camera and the glass jar holding Kichi. "Tactical withdrawal!" He spammed shadow clones and made his escape.

"Aren't you going to chase him?!" Chika demanded.

"No." Cave remarked. "Vert-sama wishes for him to join Leanbox and if he witnesses the footage on that tape he will be more willing to join us."

"B-But…" Chika's shoulders slumped. "My paradise with Vert-sama is under attack."

"The only thing under attack right now is my patience." Cave remarked as she left the dispirited Chika behind.

With Naruto

"I've got you buddy," Naruto broke the jar and freed Kichi who returned to his usual hiding spot. "So… I wonder what the goddesses were talking about." He pressed play and then blinked. "Wait a second… There's no audio?! I can't… Wait a minute… Kichi?!" Naruto blinked as he saw the panty shots. "You… I…"

"Oh those look like mine!" Neptune's voice sounded right next to his ear.

"Neptune?!" Naruto almost screamed.

"Hehe," Neptune smirked. "So Not Jiraiya-san really wants to see my panties?"

"T-t-that's not… I mean…" He cleared his throat. "So the meetings ended?"

"You didn't answer my question." Neptune smirked. "I'll tell you what, since I am a super awesome goddess I will show you my panties."

"R-really?" Naruto blinked. "I mean… Why would I want to see them?!"

"Hehe…" Neptune smiled victoriously as she started to lift her skirt as slowly as possible.

"BACK OFF!" Blanc pushed Neptune out of the way. "Ah… We meet again."

"Er…" Naruto blinked. _'Oh right! The girl who I saved from the dragon!'_ "I'm glad to see that you are safe and sound."

"R-r-right…" Blanc suddenly froze up. _'I… I… I don't know how to seduce someone! I have to do something though!'_ She wracked her brains for anything that she could remember. _'Wait… I do remember reading that one book… The heroine had a body type similar to mine! It's the only chance I have!'_

"Are you alright?" Naruto asked.

"I… I missed you Onii-chan," She tilted her head cutely. "I don't want you to go away again." She placed a soft kiss on his stunned lips.

"..." There was a slight delay followed by a catastrophic nosebleed as Naruto staggered backwards. "W-w-w-what the hell?!"

"Beat that bitch!" Blanc declared victoriously.

"Ooh!" Neptune gave Blanc a thumbs up. "Good reaction. Here you go, something to mop up the blood!"

"Oh thanks… THESE ARE YOUR PANTIES?!" Cue another burst of blood.

"That's right!" Neptune gave him a thumbs up. "Freshly worn as well." She winked.

"How cute," Vert sauntered out as Naruto finally stemmed the floor of blood. "You look a little pale… let me help you out there." She pulled his head into her breasts. "There we go… Just rest your weary head… oops!" Vert gasped as she deliberately burst the buttons on her dress and revealed her naked chest. "Oh no Ninja-san! Please don't look!" She said whilst gripping him tightly against her exposed breasts.

"C-c-can't take… much more…" Naruto gasped.

"So that's three draws?" Neptune looked amused. "Noire-chan's turn!"

"W-what?" Naruto was deathly pale. "I don't think can afford to lose more blood."

"This game ends now! I am leaving and taking Ninja-san home with me!" Noire demanded as she tried to storm pass the other goddesses but she slipped on some blood.

"Noire!" Naruto and Neptune went to help her, Neptune grapping her by the skirt but only serving to strip her of all the clothes below the belt. She managed to regain her balance until Naruto, who had run forward to catch her, slipped on his own blood and slid towards her, knocking her off her feet and she landed on his face.

"Oh my!" Neptune gasped. "So bold!"

"Me oh my," Vert blinked. "I didn't know she had it in her!"

"Tch," Blanc scowled. _'Why didn't I think of that!'_

"W-w-w-what?!" Noire had tears in her eyes as she sat, her lower garden completely exposed and resting on Naruto's face.

"Hey I think not Jiraiya-san has passed out!" Neptune clapped. "We have a winner!"

"Using such a cheap tactic," Blanc scowled. "I will not lose next time. At least I did better than Thunder Tits who had to resort to such a crude method."

"If you had breasts maybe you would have considered it." Vert remarked as she buttoned her shirt."

"Why you…" Blanc growled.

"I can never be a bride…" Noire was ashen faced as she reclaimed her underwear and skirt from Neptune. "He saw… He saw… He saw it."

"I'd say he did more than see it. He probably tasted it," Neptune laughed.

"No…" Noire went bright red with tears in her eyes.

"Isn't it so much fun when we work together?!" Neptune declared.

"No!" Blanc, Vert and Noire yelled.

The Next Day

"I'm going to miss you!" Neptune sobbed dramatically as she hugged Naruto, who ruffled her hair. They were stood at the main exit from Leanbox, everyone being packed and ready to leave.

"We'll see each other again." Naruto grinned at her.

"I'd better!" Neptune declared as she released him and grinned cheesily at him. "You still owe me a pudding! Still I don't believe Noire beat me. I'm quite confident in my sexiness."

"You are all sexy in your own way," Naruto replied.

"But not as sexy as getting a close up of Noire's…"

"Onee-sama!" Nepgear covered Neptune's mouth. "I am sorry Ninja-san."

"Don't worry about," Naruto laughed. "Nepnep is Nepnep after all."

"That's right," Neptune grinned. "I know you don't have an obligation to do so but I'd still be super thrilled if you visit Planeptune! I can introduce you to Histoire! She's my oracle and she's super scary."

"Histy isn't so bad," Nepgear smiled. "She just gets angry at you because you don't do your job."

"Precisely!" Neptune pointed at Nepgear. "I never do my job so she's always super angry with me!"

"Don't you think that you should start doing your job then?" Naruto suggested.

"But then Histy will have won." Neptune declared. "I can't let that happen!"

"Suddenly I feel a great deal of sympathy for Histoire," Naruto remarked.

"Don't betray me Not Jiraiya-san!" Neptune grabbed on to Naruto.

"Come on already," IF dragged Neptune away. "We've got a long journey ahead of us."

"Right, right," Neptune beamed. "But before we go… A present for you!" She presented a small box to Naruto. "Don't open it until you are alone though!" She winked before running off. "Now let's go home! Pudding awaits!"

"Hai, Hai," IF shook her head. "Shame I didn't get much chance to speak to you but I'm sure we'll meet again. Don't be a stranger."

"Right back at you," Naruto nodded.

"I made a special meal for you and Mr Dogoo to eat on your way home," Compa handed two bento boxes to Naruto. "I can't wait for our next meeting."

"Same here," Naruto watched as Neptune started to say her goodbyes to an angry Noire. "Things are never dull with Neptune around eh?"

"I would say it is more that things are never dull around you," Compa smiled. "I've never seen Nepnep looks so lively."

"She seems to really like you," Nepgear added as she walked over to the two.

"Well I like her too, she's a pretty fun character." Naruto chuckled. "As are you all."

"Thanks Mr Ninja!" Compa beamed. "You know you are always welcome in Planeptune."

"My big sister would be able to arrange for a proper house for you to live in should you ever decide to move there." Nepgear bowed. "I would love for you to spend more time with us and I know that I am not alone in that."

"Hey Nepgear? You managed to seduce Panty Sniffer-kun yet? I need to know for the booking!" Neptune yelled at them.

"Wait!" Noire's angry voice interrupted her. "Get away from Ninja-san! There'll be no seducing here!"

"Ahahaha," Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "That sister of yours."

"Yes…" Nepgear smiled softly. "Until we meet again."

"Right," Naruto waved as the group from Planeptune left.

"That Neptune," Noire sighed as she walked over to Naruto, Uni in tow. "What is she thinking?"

"I'm sure she means well," Naruto laughed weakly.

"So we meet again," Blanc calmly walked up to him, her face perfectly blank.

"Oh hi there, Blanc right?" Naruto laughed. "I would have never guessed that you were a goddess when I first met you fighting that dragon."

"Ah…" Blanc cheeks were rosy red. "I was wanting to talk to you about that promise…"

"Promise?" Naruto blinked.

"That you would protect me?"

"Oh that," Naruto nodded. "Yeah what about it?"

"Did you mean everything you said?"

"Er… Yes I believe so."

"I see… The one you loved… Remember you mentioned her."

"Oh yeah, what about her?"

"Describe her to me."

"Okay then," Naruto was confused but didn't think anything of it. "She is kind of quiet and meek until she's pissed then she becomes like super angry and destructive. She's not the curviest of girls but I still think that she is great!"

"And if you saw this girl would you tell her how you feel directly?"

"No…" Naruto shook his head. _'Doing that only gets me hit.'_ "I'd probably have a weird roundabout way of showing her how I feel." _'By saving Sasuke probably.'_

"I see," Blanc nodded. _'There is no doubt about it. He is talking about me.'_ "I eagerly await your arrival in Lowee."

"I'm going to Lowee?"

"Weren't you paying attention?!" Noire sighed. "It was decided that you would carry out a mission for Lowee and Leanbox as an apology for the damage what you did to them!"

"Er… Alright? I guess I'll see you later then," Naruto nodded to Blanc.

"We are going to have so much fun Ninja-nii!" Ram declared.

"It was… fun to see you…" Rom whispered shyly.

"It was a blast." He ruffled the two younger CPU candidates hair.

"We made you a picture!" Ram declared, showing Naruto a defaced book. "It's got you and big sis and me and Rom… we are all playing together!"

"Er…" Naruto blinked at a quite clearly demonic Blanc trying to escape a trap set by Rom and Ran. Naruto appeared to be tied up as a sort of sacrifice to the demon.

"Did you draw on my precious book again?" Blanc's eyes went red and demonic.

"Retreat!" Ram laughed as she and Rom ran away, Blanc chasing after them.

"Wait a minute… What damage did I do to Lowee?" Naruto glanced at Noire.

"Apparently you confessed your love to Blanc and she accepted it." Noire stated.

"…Say what?"

"She really did come here to marry you." Noire shot Naruto a look, "But you can't marry her alright! You can't leave Lastation until your debt is paid off."

"Right, right," Naruto shook his head, "I'm not leaving you anytime soon."

"Good." Noire felt incredibly happy at that and it showed on her face.

"Are you smiling because I said I'm not leaving you?"

"N-no! Why would that make me happy? It's a constant chore just being around you!" Noire looked away blushing.

"She is so cold to you," Vert walked over. "Are you sure that you don't want to stay and play with me?"

"As tempting as that offer is I am afraid I will have to turn it down." Naruto smiled.

"Oh well," Vert clapped her hands, making her bosom bounce in a way Naruto found quiet pleasant. "I still have that mission for you to pay off the damage you did to the convoy. I'll make sure that the job is a truly pleasant one." She winked.

"H-hey!" Noire stepped between Naruto and Vert. "Back off!"

"My, my," Vert smiled, "You are awfully protective of someone who is such a burden to you. Until we meet again," She bowed her head and left the group alone.

"As per Vert-sama's instructions I will not be arresting you for the disturbance in the alley ways that you were responsible for." Cave remarked. "However I do feel the need to inform you that the LoP are an illegal group so would advise you against associating with them in the future. Hopefully we will have a chance to work together on your mission here."

"Looking forward to it," Naruto nodded as Cave walked away.

"Would you do me a favour?" Chika walked up to him.

"Yes?"

"Go jump off a bridge and die."

"…Eh?"

"No one gets between me and Vert-sama… You understand?"

"R-right," Naruto blinked as Chika walked away.

"Let's go home," Uni declared. "I am in desperate need of a good night's sleep after all this drama."

"So we are going to overlook the fact I was just threatened."

"It's only Chika," Noire shrugged. "She is Vert's oracle and is pretty harmless."

"She sure doesn't sound it," Naruto mumbled.

"Say…" Noire cleared her throat. "Why does Neptune know more about you than me?"

"Eh?"

"You told her what your name wasn't." Noire mumbled.

"Are you… Are you jealous that I told Neptune what my name _wasn't.?_ "

"N-no!" Noire crossed her arms. "I just feel that you could at least trust me with your name."

"I didn't think it was that big of a deal. After all I'm not planning to be here long so figured…"

"Well I just thought it would be nice to know after all you know our names." Noire pointed out.

"I…" Naruto closed his eyes, "… Uzumaki."

"Eh?"

"My family name is Uzumaki."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Heh," Noire looked smug. _'Take that Neptune… I actually know part of his real name… Wait… Why am I happy about that?!'_

"Uzumaki-san," Uni frowned.

"Just call me Uzumaki," Naruto smiled. "There's no need for suffixes with me."

"O-oh." Uni coughed. "Uzumaki." She blushed slightly.

"Uzumaki," Noire nodded.

"Uzumaki?!" Uni cried out in shock.

"Uzumaki!" Noire gasped.

"Is my name that entertaining?"

"Just getting used to sound of it." Noire smiled.

"…All you goddesses are weird," He chuckled, "But in a good way. I'm glad of all the bathrooms I crashed into that it was yours."

"Uzumaki…" Noire blushed as they climbed into a carriage and Naruto put his bento to one side. "I wonder what this present is?"

"From Neptune?" Noire blinked. "Probably a pudding cake or something."

"That sounds awesome!" Naruto opened the case. "Oh…"

"Ah…" Uni blinked.

"Uzumaki!" Noire yelled.

"H-how is this my fault?!"

"One thousand years extension!" She crossed her arms. "Panty Snatcher!"

"It wasn't me!" He wailed as a card fell out of the box full of panties but was missed by the inhabitants of the carriage.

 _#Hey Not Jiraya-san!_

 _A gift from all of us at Planetpune so you can remember us! They are freshly worn and ready for your usage! There's mine (I know you remember which they are), Nepgear's, Iffy's and Compa's. I made sure they weren't washed so you can get maximum enjoyment out of them! If you want more just come to Planeptune where our Panties are yours to claim! But bring pudding okay? I'll even include a sexy picture of me and Nepgear! Unfortunately Compa and IF require the DLC so you'll have to complete the main story line to access their content._

 _Peace out!_

 _Supreme Goddess of the Twelve Dimensions – Neptune the Fantabulous #_

 _AN. please everyone review review and review and pick who should have a lemon first Noire Uni or Blanc_


	4. mission in leanbox part 1

Hero of Dimensions

A/N:Another chapter comes forth from the dust and emerges

Disclaimer Chapter 1 :

Mission in leanbox part 1

Noire scowled as she tapped the top of her desk angrily. She kept alternating her glare between the empty space in front of her desk and the paper work on it. She had been doing this for most of the morning and was now starting to worry her younger sister.

Uni fidgeted awkwardly as she watched her sister. She couldn't tell whether she was upset or angry, only that something wasn't quite right. Kei didn't seem to be doing anything about it so Uni assumed it wasn't anything severe but still, it unnerved Uni to see her sister, who was usually so focused on her work and her city, to be so distracted.

"Onee-sama?" Uni cleared her throat.

"What?" Noire picked up a pen and started to scrawl something on the paper work.

"Are you alright?" Uni peered over his sister's shoulder to see a chibi drawing of Naruto grinning cheekily.

"I'm fine!" Noire slammed her hands on the desk. "Absolutely fantastic! Never better!"

"That is incredibly convincing," Kei remarked bluntly as she worked at her own desk.

"Why wouldn't I be happy?!" Noire exclaimed. "After all that idiot is out of my hair for a week! An entire week!"

"You don't sound happy about that," Uni pointed out.

"I'm couldn't be happier!" She stood up suddenly. "I am going out on a mission!"

"But there aren't any," Uni reminded her sister, "Uzumaki-san completed them all before he left for his mission in Leanbox."

"That's right." Noire smirked. "He told us his name! What am I so worried about? Of course he will come back. After one-week Vert will be begging me to take him back!" Noire smiled smugly.

"You seem awfully happy about that," Kei remarked idly. "Has Uzumaki-san grown on you?"

"What? Of course not!" Noire declared.

"Well that's fortunate," Kei remarked.

"W-what do you mean?" Noire faltered.

"Well…" Kei handed a document to Noire, "It appears that Chika-san is quite competent at her job. She was able to dig up a loophole in the Debt to Society case."

"W-what?" Noire and Uni raced over to their Oracle.

"Let me see that!" Noire snatched the sheet and scanned it "Is this true?!"

"Yes," Kei coughed awkwardly. "It is my fault. I never imagined that another Goddess would gain an interest in Uzumaki-san. That document clearly states that should an offer be made for Uzumaki-san that is at least 50% greater than his initial debt then if Uzumaki-san accepts the new debt, we have no choice but to accept it, regardless of the level of debt that he currently has."

"B-but…" Noire scowled. "Vert would be able to offer a reward of that size! So would Blanc!"

"And Neptune," Kei remarked.

"Well she would probably offer pudding in lieu of money," Uni remarked dryly.

"This is bad," Noire bit her thumb awkwardly. "I have to do something."

"Like what?" Uni asked. "Vert made us promise that we would send Uzumaki by himself!"

"Ohayo!" A cheerful voice declared as a girl wandered into the room.

"Can I help you?" Noire blinked.

"Erm… My name is Tekken!" The girl bowed awkwardly. "I was hoping to find Mr Ninja here! I went to Leanbox but apparently he had just left when I got there."

"Why do you want to meet him?" Noire asked.

"Erm… I want to become stronger and I think that fighting Mr Ninja would help!" Tekken announced.

"Is that so?" Noire grinned evilly. "Well you just missed him."

"Oh…" Tekken frowned. "That's a shame."

"He is going back to Leanbox for a week," Noire continued. "And I am sure that you will be able to have a friendly spar with him should you hurry. In fact, I will even arrange for your travel expenses!"

"R-really?" Tekken looked excited. "T-thank you Black Heart-sama!"

"Go enjoy Lastation, I will have Uni find you when the preparations are complete."

"Great!" Tekken bowed deeply. "Thank you!"

"Don't mention it," Noire watched the bubbly fighter leave the room. "Kukukuku… Let's see Vert convince Uzumaki-san to abandon me now!"

"Abandon you?" Kei repeated.

"I mean… Fail to repay his debt to me." Noire corrected herself.

"Onee-sama," Uni sighed and shook her head.

"Maybe if Noire-sama was more honest about her feeling for Ninja-san she wouldn't have to worry about someone stealing him away," Kei remarked bluntly.

"I… What?" Noire looked out of the window, "I have no interest in Uzumaki-san!"

"That's why you have been pacing around and in a generally bad mood for the last three hours since Ninja-san left."

"I… I am bored since someone did all the missions!" Noire defended herself.

"Of course you are," Kei remarked dryly. "If you are really that bored then feel free to talk to Ninja-san using the mobile that you gave him."

"W-why would I want to talk to that pervert?!" Noire crossed her arms. "I am doing perfectly fine here without him."

"Having such a troublesome goddess is a pain," Kei remarked dryly. "Maybe I should ask Histoire if she wants a swap."

"I don't have to stay here and listen to your abuse!" Noire drew herself up to her full size. "I have tasks that I actually have to do! And will do unlike Neptune."

"Such as your paperwork?"

"R-right!" Noire returned to her desk and stared to scribble furiously. "How are our shares looking?"

"They are looking fine," Uni walked over to Noire's desk with a small collection of files. "Ever since Uzumaki-san arrived we have been able to maintain people's belief in you. We have had more time to relax since his clones have taken up the majority of our work."

"But that means that Uzumaki-san doesn't spend much time with us," Noire mumbled. "The only time we really talk is when he is finishing his missions or when we are taking him food in his cell."

"Well maybe you could let him out of the cell?" Uni suggested. "Give him a proper room like ours?"

"But where would we put it?" Noire scowled. "There are no free rooms in our home."

"W-well," Uni coughed. "We could always…"

"S-share a room with him?!" Noire went beet red as she imagined coming home to Naruto, laid naked across her bed with only a rose in his mouth. "B-b-but w-w-why would I want to see that?!" She flailed her arms widely as she tried to fight off her delusions.

"I was going to suggest giving him his own house," Uni suggested.

"Unfortunately there are no vacancies in the local areas," Kei shook her head. "The nearest vacancy is… well…"

"Where?" Noire asked.

"…At the guard station near our border with Planeptune."

"Rejected!" Noire crossed her arms like an X. "Neptune already seems to like bugging him, doing that would make it too easy for her to… to…"

"Steal away Uzumaki-san?" Kei suggested.

"L-like I'd care if she did!" Noire crossed her arms. "She would distract him from paying off his debt!"

"And that is your main concern?" Kei tilted her head.

"Of course!"

"Then I guess he shall have to remain in his cell for the time being," Kei frowned softly. "I only hope that Ninja-san doesn't get offered a nice room by Vert."

"I… Even if she did he would come back to me!" Noire announced angrily before storming out of the room. "He… He has to." She whispered to herself, pausing to stare out of a window at her city. "I wonder what Uzumaki-san is looking at now…"

To Naruto!

"Er… Hi there," Naruto coughed uneasily. He had only been in Leanbox for an hour and was already wondering if he was going to survive the first day, never mind the entire week.

On arrival he had immediately been caught in the crossfire between the League of Perverts, who had gathered to welcome him back, and the Public Morals Committee, an army of housewives and the odd man who had gathered to force him to leave Leanbox. As he watched the slaughter a completely disinterested Cave arrived to escort him to Vert, as well as a small army of similarly dressed maids who proceeded to arrest and detain all of those involved in the fighting.

He had arrived at the main counsel hall to speak to Vert, only for a barrage of explosive arrows to strike where he had been but a second before. If not for a handy substitution, he would have been blown to chunks. Several moments later a swarm of arrows peppered the walls and the handy shadow clone Naruto had formed as a human shield.

Cave had merely sighed before throwing a pair of scissors in a random direction only for Chika to suddenly fall from the ceiling, a suspiciously empty quiver on her back. She coughed up blood but before Naruto could see if she was alright, Vert arrived wearing a playboy bunny outfit and he temporarily lost the ability to use higher brain functions whereas Chika started to pant heavily like a perverted old man.

"Hi!" Vert clapped her hands causing a most pleasant bounce in her chest. "I am glad you could make it! I was sure Noire would try and do something to stop you from coming!"

"Noire is a goddess of her word," Naruto nodded with a faint smile. "If she makes a promise she keeps it. She would never stop me from coming."

"Would she help you to?" Vert replied innocently.

"Er… Pardon?" Naruto blinked.

"Nothing," Vert laughed and smiled at Naruto warmly.

' _I wonder if this is what a big sister figure looks like,'_ Naruto thought to himself. _'She is definitely the most developed of the Goddesses that's for sure. N-not that I'm interested in that! I like Noire! I mean SAKURA!'_ Naruto paled. _'Sakura is the girl I love! Why would I think Noire? I don't even see her that way! I mean sure she is kind of cute and she kind of isn't completely a pain to deal with but I am technically her slave!'_ Unfortunately, whilst Naruto was stuck in a mental war with himself, his physical body had frozen staring at Vert's impressive chest.

"Oh my?" Vert covered herself with a coy smile. "It appears Ninja-san has a thing for my chest." _'RESULT! Blanc has already lost this battle!'_

"Ah?" Naruto snapped out of his daydream. "I er… They are… I mean to say…"

"Fufufufu…" Vert covered her mouth whilst laughing. "Do you want to touch them?"

"I… Wait really?" Naruto blinked. "Ah no! I can't betray her!"

"Noire?" Vert tilted her head. "But if I said it was part of your mission then you wouldn't be betraying her."

"Well that is true… WHAT AM I SAYING?!" Naruto started to hit his head against a wall. "I am not Jiraiya! I AM NOT JIRAIYA!"

"There, there," Vert smothered Naruto in her breasts. "See… isn't that nice?"

' _It kind of is…'_ Naruto thought happily before he regained control and pulled himself free. "I… Listen they are lovely but I don't think we know each other well enough to be that… close." He laughed weakly. "You should only do things with someone you are really close to."

"I see," Vert smiled softly. "You are quite a gentleman… How odd for one who goes by the name Panty Sniffer-kun."

"That's not my name." Naruto's shoulders slumped.

"Lovely?!" Chika growled. "Vert-sama's breasts are the envy of womankind!" Chika groped her Goddess' chest. "Look at how soft and plump they are! It's like squeezing clouds!"

"Don't you have work to be doing?" Cave karate chopped the oracle on her head.

"Serving Vert-sama is my only purpose in life!" Chika wailed as she was dragged off by the irate maid/warrior.

"My mission," Naruto coughed. "I was to carry out a mission for you right?"

"Oh right!" Vert's eyes sparkled. "Well I was going to have you and your clones help me out! See there's this game called Four Goddesses online and there was a new expansion pack released that introduces 16 player raids! I have the consoles all set up for you, me, Chika and thirteen of your clones."

"That's right" Chika suddenly reappeared, "When it comes to the Four Goddesses I spent entire weeks locked in my room mastering the nuances of the game so that I could help Vert-sama complete this mythically difficult raid!"

"Game?" Naruto titled his head. "What like Rock, Paper, scissors?"

"You… You have never played a computer game?"

"You can play games on computers?!" Naruto blinked. "We just used them for sending and reading mission dossiers and other intel." _'Or in Jiraiya's case to store all his notes and pictures from his research.'_

"You've… never…" Vert staggered backwards.

"He will be less that useless!" Chika declared. "Vert-sama! You and I should lock ourselves in the room together and master this game, just the two of us."

"How sad!" Vert took Naruto's hands with tears in her eyes. "In that case… Take Chika's place!"

"W-what?!" Chika coughed up blood. "My… My perfect dream world… Is being… destroyed…" She coughed and fell over.

"Quit your bullshitting," Cave kicked her hard causing the oracle to cry out in pain.

"Since you've never played the game it is only fair I do what I can to ensure that you experience the fun and excitement of computer games!" Vert declared as she held Naruto in her breasts. "To minimise the distractions Chika can do her job whilst we enjoy the game."

"Why?" Chika turned to look at a blank faced Cave. "Why must my dreams of spending time with Vert get shattered? Have I not been a good Oracle?"

"You're no Histoire," Cave remarked dryly as she walked away.

"Wait!" Chika grabbed her leg. "Where are you going?! I need you to help me prevent that pervert from having his way with Vert-sama."

"That is your concern," Cave remarked bluntly. "Vert-sama has set things up to ensure that the Ninja doesn't want to leave us. It is my duty to assist Vert-sama not to hinder her."

"But… But…" Chika sniffled. "She's my Vert-sama!"

"Then I would advise that you learn to share," Cave shook Chika from her leg and continued towards the kitchens.

"No…" Chika glared at Naruto who was trying to escape Vert's suffocating hug. "I will die before I see anyone steal my Vert-sama!" She searched through her pockets before pulling out a card. "And I think I know just the person to help me with my mission!" She cackled evilly.

Some Time Later

"Whoa…" Naruto blinked as Vert showed him the gaming / bedroom. The massive room has sixteen super thin TVs that took up most of the walls and comfortable looking chairs sat facing each of the screens. A large bed dominated the centre of the room. "This one room is bigger than my old apartment!" He looked at the thin TVs lining the wall. "Amazing! Back where I come from TV's are far bulkier!"

"Leanbox never skimps when it comes to the satisfaction of our visitors!" Vert announced proudly. "Planeptune may be the most advanced nation and Lastation may have the best industry but Leanbox is the most welcoming of the four nations!"

"What does Lowee have then?" Naruto asked.

"Lowee?" Vert smiled softly. "Well… If you are a lolicon or love freezing to death you might find something in Lowee."

"Huh," Naruto blinked. "That doesn't sound particularly fun at all."

"Right!" Vert clapped her hands causing another pleasant movement that Naruto caught out of the corner of his eyes. "By the end of this week I hope you will truly understand Leanbox's greatness!"

"And you intend to show my Leanbox's greatness by playing one of these games with me?"

"That's the plan," Vert nodded.

"Well… What do I do?" Naruto coughed awkwardly. "I've never actually played a game like this before."

"Don't worry," Vert took his hand and smiled softly at him. "I'll be sure to guide you."

"Looking forward to it," Naruto beamed.

"R-right," Vert was forced to look away from his innocent smile. "So the first thing we need to do is create our characters!"

"Characters?"

"On Four Goddesses Online you create an avatar… an electronic version of yourself."

"Really?!" Naruto grinned. "This will be awesome!"

"It will!" Vert smiled, pleased by his eagerness.

"Right!" Naruto formed his favourite hand seals and twenty clones popped into existence. "Oh man," He laughed. "Created a few more than I meant to there."

"Wow…" Vert poked one of the clones.

"Hey!" The clone stepped back. "What's the big idea?!"

"Amazing," Vert's eyes were sparkling. "They really are solid and independent clones!"

"W-well," Naruto blushed as he and the other clones rubbed the back of their heads in embarrassment. "It is kind of awesome I'll admit."

"Well!" Vert gestured to the seats. "I only need fourteen clones so can you dispel some of them?"

"I will not be silenced!" One of the clones declared before another one punched him, causing the rebellious clone to dispel.

"Man that guy was annoying," One of the clones remarked.

"Your mother is annoying!" Another one cut in.

"Your mother is my mother, you idiot!"

"W-well your father then!"

"…You are literally too stupid for words."

"Hah! I am you and you are me so you are calling yourself an idiot!"

"Are you starting something?!"

"I'm going to kick your ass!" The two clones charged and dispelled each other.

"Suddenly," Vert smiled weakly, "I'm starting to wonder if this was such a good idea."

After a few more clones were dispelled, Naruto and his fourteen clones all sat down in comfy chairs, with Naruto sitting next to Vert.

"First you have to pick your race," Vert explained as the clones slowly navigated the menus of the game.

"Ninja!" One clone yelled.

"Hey where is the ninja race?!"

"Idiots," Naruto sighed. "Ninja isn't a race! It's a job or something!"

"Oh right," The clones went silent for a moment. "Human!" They all announced.

"W-well humans are a good all-rounder race but the other races also have abilities that could help," Vert tried to convince the clone army but they adamantly refused to change race. "Well… if you are sure," Vert shook herself. Even if they were all human players they could still take on the raid. "Next you design your character."

A few minutes later and Vert was staring at fifteen almost identical avatars. Each one with blue eyes, yellow hair and scars on their cheeks. They were also quiet tall and muscular.

"It looks just like us," The clones and the original nodded in satisfaction.

"Wait a minute," Naruto glanced at one of the clones. "Why is your avatar female?!"

"Er…" One of the clones fidgeted. "Because… tactical reasons!"

"Oh!" The other clones nodded sagely.

"Er… Right," Vert smiled weakly. _'Okay so them all looking the same might make things a little difficult to identify them individually but… It doesn't matter we can still beat that raid!'_ "Next is the class selection."

"Class?" Naruto blinked.

"For example you could be a strong warrior, charging into melee and protecting your allies." Vert explained.

"That's sounds like me," Naruto grinned.

"Or a powerful mage throwing fireballs and summoning whirlwinds."

"That sounds more like us," A clone spoke up.

"Or a sneaky rogue who attacks his enemy's weak points and sabotages enemy defences."

"That sounds like a ninja!" Another clone declared.

"Then we will have four rogues and four mages and the rest of us will be fighters," The first clone suggested.

"That would be a fairly balanced team," Vert nodded. _'The balanced party will make the raid much easier!"_

"HOLD THE PHONE!" One clone exclaimed. "What's a prestige?"

"Oh that's just an advanced class that can be unlocked later on," Vert started to explain.

"ROGUE'S PRESTIGE INTO NINJAS!" The clone declared.

"Well yes but…" Vert was silenced by each screen declaring a Rogue Avatar was created. "I… I can still do this!" Vert's eyes lit up. "I am the Gamer Goddess! If anyone can complete a raid with such a team it will be me!"

"I would have thought Neptune would have been the gamer goddess… although maybe it would be fairer just to call her a Gamer. She doesn't seem to do much Goddess work," Naruto mused to himself.

"Now you have to name the character but the name must be unique."

"Alright!" Naruto cleared his throat. "As the original I shall be called Naruto!" He entered the name happily.

"Naruto?" Vert blinked.

"Er… It's a special ninja codename," Naruto remarked weakly.

[Sorry this Username is currently in Use]

"What?!" Naruto blinked stupidly. "Which one of you entered it before me?!"

"It wasn't us boss," The clones shrugged.

"Then… Who could possibly have done it?!"

Elsewhere

The curtains were drawn, blocking all light into the messy room where a single girl was sat staring at a screen, happily playing the Four Goddesses Online game.

"Are you sure you want to spend your day off playing on that game?" A female voice called out from downstairs. "Wouldn't you rather be training or raiding some dungeons for some loot?"

"I'm sure mother!" A young blonde girl called down. She had strange whisker birthmarks and long blonde hair. Tossed to one side was a maid's uniform, a symbol of her loyalty to Cave-sama and her position as a member of the Leanbox Special Mission branch.

"Well… I've made some Ramen for you Saya-chan!" The voice declared proudly.

"Okay mother!" Saya put down her controller and ran towards the kitchen happily.

"Did you pause your game?" A woman with beautiful long red hair turned to smile at her daughter.

"You can't pause an online game," Saya remarked dryly. "How many times do I have to tell you that?"

"I think we are currently at one million," A cheerful male voice declared as a man with blonde hair and blue eyes walked into the kitchen.

"Near enough," Saya beamed at her father.

"I'm sorry that I don't understand video games," The mother rolled her eyes as Saya happily devoured the ramen. "How's it going?"

"Oh my Level 100 Paladin is now raid ready!" Saya fist pumped. "I'm just running errands until my guild mates log on so that we can attempt the raid."

"A level 100 Paladin?" The mother glanced at the father who chuckled.

"Well I wish you luck," The father smiled softly. "I've heard from someone at work that the raid is super difficult."

"Naruto doesn't need luck!"

"Naruto?" The mother blinked. "You named your character after that character from the old pervert's book?"

"Just as Naruto in The Gutsy Ninja lead the Ninja world to peace, so shall Naruto the Paladin lead the online world to peace!" Saya declared proudly. "Thanks for the food mum," She kissed her mother on the cheek before racing back into her room.

"You know," The father smiled softly. "Our little girl is growing up so quickly. I'm glad we came here. It was almost worth him attacking."

"I know," The mother nodded. "If she had been forced to grow up back home…"

"Still it is only a matter of time before she starts talking about boys and going on dates…" The father shivered at the thought.

"…We can always have another child," The mother leaned her head on the father's shoulder.

"Really?"

"Yeah…" The mother led the way to their bedroom, swaying her hips seductively.

"Even though after giving birth to Saya you swore you would rip out my entrails if I ever got you pregnant again?"

"…Are you going to let a small thing like a gruesome death come between you and laying in a bed with me?"

"There is no threat severe enough to make me not want to be next to you."

"You have a way with words Minato."

"Well you have a way with my heart Kushina."

To Planeptune

"Muuu!" Neptune kicked her legs furiously as she sat at a desk piled high with paper work. "Why do I have to do all this work?"

"Because it is your job," Histoire rubbed her forehead. "You are a goddess and you should be running Planeptune not playing a computer game!"

"Argh!" Neptune fell backwards out of her chair and started rolling on the floor. "But it is sooo boring!"

"Act your age damn it!" Histoire snapped at Neptune.

"But I don't wanna!" Neptune declared as she leapt to her feet. "I'm going to visit Noire-chan!"

"Oh no you don't!" Histoire clicked her fingers.

"W-what?" Neptune cried out in alarm as two daggers attached to chains suddenly shot out of nowhere and wrapped her up.

"Sorry Nep," IF stepped out of the shadows. "But Histoire is right, you really should do your work."

"Et tu Iffy?" Neptune gasped. "I thought we were friends!"

"Er… Onee-sama," Nepgear looked up from her desk. "We… We really should be working. Lastation's shares are shooting up whereas ours are… not looking as healthy." She gestured to a graph with a purple line that was plummeting down and a black line that was rocketing up.

"Muu!" Neptune rolled around on the floor. "This is all because Noire-chan has Not-Jiraiya-san!" She hopped to her feet, her arms still bound to her sides by the chains. "If we had him then I'd bet our shares would be shooting upwards too! Like this!" She grabbed a pen from her desk with her mouth and drew a squiggly purple line that rocketed upwards faster than the Lastation line. "Shee?" She spat the pen onto her desk. "I'd be able to play around all day!"

"Well…" Nepgear smiled softly, "Mr Ninja would be useful to have around and he is a good person."

"But he is currently paying his debt to society to Noire," IF reminded the sisters. "Until he pays that off he is officially Noire's servant."

"There's no loopholes?"

"Not that I am aware of," IF turned to Histoire. "How about you?"

"W-well," Histoire looked thoughtful. "There is one way…"

"Really?" Neptune, IF and Nepgear turned to the small oracle.

"Yes." Histoire started flicking through the pages of her tome. "Ah here it is. Basically all you have to do is pay Noire over 50% of his original debt and get Ninja-san to agree and then his debt to Noire becomes his debt to you."

"And I can get Ninja-san to do all my work?!" Neptune's eyes had stars in them. "Then it is of vital importance that we do this!"

"Really?" IF sighed. "He wouldn't be so vital if you did your job properly Nepnep."

"Never!" Neptune proclaimed proudly as she burst out of the chains holding her. "Why do today what you can leave for tomorrow? Am I right?"

"You are a terrible role model," IF rubbed her forehead tiredly.

"But how do you plan to win Ninja-san's loyalty?" Nepgear asked.

"Ehehehe," Neptune grinned evilly. "I have a plan! Last time we visited Noire-chan she gave Ninja-san a mobile phone and I happened to get his number!" She pulled out a phone from her pocket and advanced on Nepgear.

"Eh?" Nepgear looked worried.

"Don't be scared!" Neptune grinned evilly, her eyes glowing red. "And smile for the camera."

"Kyaah!"

Back to Vert

"This… This is taking longer than I would have hoped." Vert remarked as she sat in a dining area with her two friends. Cave was stood hovering over her with a pot of tea whilst Chika was sat opposite Vert happily sighing as she stared at the buxom goddess.

"Is there a problem Vert-sama?" Cave asked as she poured a cup of tea for her Goddess.

"Well… Ninja-san is enjoying himself." Vert admitted. "The problem is we are not advancing very quickly in the game."

"Why is that?" Cave asked politely.

"Because… He just discovered the emotes system." Vert's shoulders slumped.

"Hey look! My avatar is break dancing!" A clone's voice could be heard from the bedroom.

"That's nothing! Mine is doing some weird hip thrust dance!"

"I see," Cave smiled softly. "But I sense that Vert-sama is not annoyed."

"No… I am kind of envious of him," Vert chuckled. "I can remember how excited I was when I played my first video game. To see him having fun reminds me of how I used to be before I got all caught up in achievements and raids. I used to play for fun but now it seems I am more focused on unlocking and beating things rather than enjoying myself. I don't want to ruin his fun but I do want to complete the raid. Preferably sooner rather than later."

"Couldn't you just ask your usual raid team to help you out?" Cave suggested.

"I could do that," Vert acknowledged, "But lately they have been busy a lot of the time. A couple have started families and gotten jobs," She sighed sadly. "I suppose everyone has to grow up sometimes."

"Don't look so down Vert-sama!" Chika declared, "You don't have to grow up! I will carry out all your adult responsibilities for you!"

"That's kind of you," Vert chuckled.

"Hey!" Naruto wandered up to the group. "You alright?"

"I am fine." Vert tilted her head. "Why?"

"You seemed a little bummed out when you left." Naruto frowned. "I know that you really want to complete this raid so I've gotten my clones to stop messing around."

"Wait you can strip your avatar?" A clone frowned. "What purpose does that serve?"

"Hahaha! I knew there was a good reason for having a female avatar!"

"Stop being such a sexist pig!"

"You were saying?" Vert giggled softly as Naruto face palmed.

"I swear," Naruto shook his head. "As soon as I turn my back…" He paused. "Ouch."

"What is it?"

"One of my clones just got kicked in the crotch."

"How do you know that?" Vert blinked.

"Oh… I kind of get the memories of my clones when they dispel." Naruto shrugged. "I first noticed when Cave over there killed the clones I left as a smoke screen back when I was fighting her."

"Back in chapter two I believe," Cave nodded.

"Eh?"

"Please continue," Cave bowed her head.

"Do you realise what this means?!" Vert grabbed Naruto's arms.

"Er… They would be really useful for perving on people?" Naruto suggested. "I mean… God damn it Jiraiya!"

"…Well yes," Vert acknowledged. "But if you have sixteen clones play the game then dispel, you will receive the knowledge as if you had played the game sixteen times. Then if you create clones they will have the knowledge of those sixteen clones and then they can play and then dispel…" Vert's eyes were shining. "You could master the game in a matter of days! We can have you raid ready in three days!"

"Your ability is truly impressive Panty Sniffer-san," Cave bowed her head. "It will allow you to gain experience in non-physical activities."

"Really?" Naruto blinked. "That sounds awesome! I'll be super strong in no time!"

"As I said," Cave cleared her throat, "This will probably only help you with non-physical growth. If only the memories are transferred, then any muscle growth on the clones will not be transferred."

"Aww man…" Naruto's shoulders slumped.

"Right!" Vert clapped her hands. "I'll need you to create as many clones as possible! Whilst sixteen play the game in the bedroom the rest of them can all read the strategy guides and possible tactics!" She turned to Naruto with a wide smile, "We'll make a hero of your avatars yet!"

"Awesome!" Naruto grinned.

Several Hours Later

"My head…" Naruto groaned as he laid on the bed.

"It appears that Panty Sniffer-san is suffering from a mental overload," Cave turned to Vert and Chika who were stood next to the bed. "It would appear that the constant influx of information was too much for him to process.

"I see," Vert's shoulders dropped slowly.

"Sorry," Naruto struggled to his feet and made a familiar hand sign.

"What are you doing?" Vert went to stop him. "Didn't you hear Cave? You're at your mental limits."

"I don't care," Naruto groaned. "I promised you that I would help you clear this raid. I always keep my promises. Right now I am barely good enough to conquer the Enchanted Glade. None of my avatars have any equipment beyond Uncommon rarity and there is an event starting in half an hour that should give them some Rare loot."

"Well at least we know the method is working." Cave remarked. "Literally an hour ago he wouldn't even have known what an event was."

"But if the cost is hurting him," Vert shook her head. "I wanted to show you the fun of games not for you to suffer just so I can complete a raid."

"Do you know what I find fun," Naruto grinned, "Surpassing my limits and making people happy. Sure I'm in a little pain now but when we kick that raid's ass then I will be having the time of my life."

"That may be so," Cave shook her head. "But I would still advise that you call it a night. You still have six days to complete the raid."

"R-right." Naruto settled down on the bed. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to have a little nap."

"Well," Vert glanced at the clock. "It is a little early for me so I'll stay up and play a few games before retiring."

"I'll play with you!" Chika volunteered.

"Sorry, but I am going to be playing a single player game."

"Ah… I see…" Chika looked on the verge of tears. "I understand."

"Good then let us leave them," Cave dragged Chika away by her hair.

"Wait! I was lying! I don't understand! Let me stay with you!" Chika wailed as she was dragged out of the room.

"Aren't you going back to your room?" Naruto asked.

"Silly Ninja," Vert laughed. "We will be sharing this room for the duration of your stay."

"O-oh." Naruto gulped, "Er… Do I have another bed?"

"There is only one bed in here."

"I see," Naruto coughed awkwardly. "So will I be sleeping on the floor?"

"We will be sharing that bed," Vert confirmed.

"Ah… I… Er…" Naruto tugged at his collar. "And will you be wearing that bunny outfit?"

"Of course not," Vert gestured to some strings on the bed.

"What? Are they some sort of pulley system that lowers down your wardrobe?"

"They are my pyjamas."

"EH?!" Naruto went bright red. _'But.. They will barely cover anything!'_

"I get so hot and sweaty when I sleep," Vert emphasised hot by squeezing Naruto's arm between her breasts. "You don't have a problem with me wearing that do you? If you'd prefer I could always sleep in the nude."

"I… It's…" Naruto took a deep breath. "It's your home after all. Wear whatever you want." He laughed weakly.

"Okay!" Vert smiled and began to undress.

"W-w-what?!" Naruto covered his eyes.

"Oh?" Vert smiled. "If Ninja-san wants to watch me undress he can."

"You… You shouldn't show your body so freely," Naruto mumbled as he closed his eyes.

"Why am I ugly?"

"No!" Naruto opened his eyes and yelled before turning bright red and shutting them again. "Vert-sama is a very attractive woman. To be in the presence of such a person… Well it would be unthinkable to me before I came here. But you are a goddess and I'm… I'm a demon vessel."

"Pardon?" Vert glanced over her shoulder.

"I… I have a demon sealed inside me," Naruto confessed. "That's why… it's better that you don't get too close to me. Plus I am going to go home after my debt to Noire is repaid so…"

"I see," Vert sounded slightly sad. "Do you really want to go back home though?"

"Pardon?"

"Isn't this world much better than yours?" Vert asked.

"I… Well it seems a lot more peaceful and fun," Naruto admitted. "But still… I don't belong here."

"Why not?"

"Because…" Naruto paused with a frown. "I just don't. I am from another world and I have people there who are counting on me!"

"I see," Vert pushed no further but put something over Naruto's head.

"What's this?" Naruto opened his eyes. "Wait… Are these?!"

"I heard you like panties," Vert smiled innocently as Naruto went bright red before passing out. "Really Ninja-san." She removed her freshly worn panties from his face and adjusted the straps on her outfit. "I think you would find this world far better than your own if you gave it a chance." She hummed to herself before reaching under the bed and pulling out a small handheld console. "Oh well… It's time to win the love of my beloved butlers again!" She happily loaded up the Otome dating sim with a pleasant smile. "I wonder if this game will give me any clues on how to make Ninja-san want to stay with me." She glanced at the unconscious blonde and gently stroked his hair, pushing an unruly lock out of his eyes. "With those clones I could spend all my time playing games with you." She chuckled as she turned her attention back to her game, playing until she fell asleep next to Naruto.

Vert's Dream

Vert blinked as she looked around. She was sat in an old Victorian bedroom that she remembered well. It was the Sexy-Sexy-Naked-Butler Mansion's Ojou-sama's bedroom from her game. All around her were expensive antique furniture and paintings of her many achievements (Albeit they were all from different games but still they looked pretty damn impressive).

"I'm guessing that means I'm dreaming," Vert sighed sadly as she flopped back onto the massive bed.

"Possibly," A familiar voice called out from behind her.

"I… W-w-what?!" Vert blinked stupidly and found she was not alone in the bedroom.

Before her laid a completely naked Naruto. Well not completely naked. He was wearing cuffs and a bow tie as well as a small crown atop his golden locks. His eyes sparkled as she gazed at them, getting lost in the deep blue pools. "Is everything alright ojou-sama?" The naked Naruto smiled at her in a way that made her knees go week. "You look pale milady."

"I…" Vert gulped. "Er…" She realised she too was naked but before she could comment the door to the room opened and another Naruto walked into the room.

"Is the idiot disturbing mistress?" The new arrival's voice was much colder than the Princely Naruto before her. His eyes were narrowed and suspicious as he looked at the other Naruto, but warmed slightly when they turned on her. He was dressed the same as the first Naruto except he had no crown and had a pair of glasses on instead, which he periodically pushed up his nose with a single finger. "I apologise mistress. Say the word and I will have this idiot thrown out and… punished most thoroughly." Glasses Naruto pulled a riding crop (from where Vert didn't question) and slowly ran it down the first Naruto's naked torso.

"Please…" The Prince gasped. "Be gentle."

"Hey!" A much louder and cheerful Naruto happily ran into the room, wearing the same (lack of an) outfit as the other two. Rather than glasses though this one was carrying a lollipop and was much younger looking (although Vert was pleased to notice a certain part of him remained full sized). She mentally labelled this one Shota Ninja. "Are you playing a game! I wanna play!"

"I'm afraid you are much too young to play these games," Glasses smirked evilly.

"Muu!" Shota pouted. "Onee-sama! They won't let me play with them even though I am totally 18 and therefore an adult despite my character design! Can I play with you?" He fluttered his eye lids cutely as if completely unaware of what was going on.

"H-hey!" A fourth Naruto entered the room and pulled the Shota one away. This one was wearing a chain necklace with a wolf on it and had an ear piercing and was wearing fingerless gloves. "Stop bugging Aneki alright ya lil' punk?" This Naruto scowled at her with a slight blush. "Don't look at me like that ya here! It's not that I like you or nothing so stop thinking that! Damn pain in my ass." Naruto snorted and looked away, although kept glancing at Vert periodically.

"Hehehehe…" Vert started to giggle. _'It's like Ninja-san is acting out all of my favourite characters from Sexy-Butler-Naked-Butler-Love-Love! But wait there are some characters missing…"_

"Ojou-sama~" A cheerful voice sounded out as two more Narutos entered the room. One bright and cheerful the other frowning sadly. The cheerful of the two had a white armband on whilst the more sombre had a black armband.

"It's morning… again…" The sombre one sighed sadly. "Another day where I will be nothing but a nuisance to Ojou-sama… I should just go and kill myself…"

"The cast is gathered…" Vert giggled to herself. There was Prince, Glasses, Shota, Punk and finally the Twins, Sun and Moon.

"We are yours to command Ojou-sama," Prince Naruto smiled as a breeze ran through his magnificent golden mane of hair. "Please tell us your desires and we will do _anything_ to make them come true," He whispered the word anything in her ear, sending shivers down her spine.

"Is this…" Vert blinked. "The harem ending?!"

"If that is your desire," Prince Naruto kissed Vert softy.

"H-hey no fair!" Shota Naruto scowled. "I want to kiss Onee-sama!" He reached up and began to squeeze her left breast. "Man Onee-sama has such plump boobies! I wonder what they taste like!" He happily began to nipple on her nipple, alternating between gentle nips and hard bites, earning a variety of gasps from Vert, although her moans were muffled by Prince Naruto's mouth.

"H-hey!" Punk-Naruto grabbed the Shota and flung him away. "Tch… Lil' brat must have hurt you Ojou-sama. Let me treat that for you…" He started to gently massage her sore nipple. "I'm only doing this cos' it's my job alright?!"

"Such erotic noises are unbecoming of an heir of [Insert Player's Family Name Here]." Glasses trailed his riding crop around her unattended breast. "Maybe I need to discipline you in the correct way to demonstrate your approval." His crop travelled down to her crotch and teased her. "Yes… I do believe that I need to educate you…" He whipped her lightly on both thighs. "Sun and Moon, your mistress is injured."

"Rightio!" Cheerful Naruto kissed the recently whipped skin. "Get better okay!"

"I'm probably only making matters worse but still…" The sombre Naruto licked the inside of her thighs.

"My, my." Glasses chuckled darkly. "You are making such obscene noises." The crop started to tease her lower lips. "It almost seems as if you are wanting something…"

"Gah…" Vert gasped as Prince broke the kiss. "M-more…"

"Okay!" Shota Naruto started to nipple on her right nipple as Tsun-Naruto continued his ministrations of her left breast.

"More?" Glasses pushed his namesake up his nose and sneered at her. "More what?"

"Kiss me…" Vert groaned.

"Are you sure you don't want something… more." The crop slipped inside her, teasing her inner walls and earning a strangled gasp from the goddess.

"Please…" Vert gasped.

"As a butler of [Insert Player's Family Name Here] It would be distasteful for me to leave you in such a state," Glasses smirked. "Were you not raised to understand that you must give in order to receive?"

"G-give?" Vert panted as the butlers surrounded her, their erect members surrounding her like an honour guard of sorts.

"Onee-sama… I feel strange." Shota gasped as he grabbed his length. "Can you make it better?"

"D-don't take this the wrong way." Punk scowled. "It's not like I like ya or nuffin. I just get urges ya know?"

"I… I…" Vert blushed profusely. _'Even compared to my usual dreams this one is quite vivid!'._

"Please take care of us Ojou-sama," Prince Naruto whispered lovingly into her ears.

"I…" Vert gulped. "I guess… It is my responsibility to look after my troublesome butlers."

"There's just one thing though y' know," Punk crossed his arms.

"Eh?"

"This is an EA release."

"I don't understand," Vert frowned.

"That means… the harem end is paid DLC." Glasses smirked evilly. "As is my ending and Shota's. Sun and Moon were a pre-order bonus and you only get Punk's ending if you bought the store from a specific store in Planeptune."

"Sorry," Sun laughed cheerfully.

"W-what?!" Vert stammered.

"But don't worry," Prince kissed her lower lips gently before positioning himself to penetrate her. "My ending is in this version. Prepare yourself. This may hurt but I promise you… the pleasure will soon drown out your pain."

"I… I'm ready," Vert swallowed nervously until she felt a sudden shooting pain in her jaw.

Real World.

"What?!" Vert clutched her aching jaw. "WHAT?!"

"Sorry!" Chika bowed her head. "I… I tried to sneak in through the skylight but I lost my grip and fell on you. Please forgive me!"

"I'll forgive you," Vert's smile was as warm as the Antarctic. "Eventually."

"Vert-sama?!" Chika froze at the ice in her smile.

"But for the next few days… GET THE HELL OUT!" Vert grabbed Chika by her collar and dragged her to the bedroom door before opening it and unceremoniously tossing her outside. "If you try and break in again I will never forgive you!"

"R-right!" Chika gulped as the door slammed in her face and the sound of many bolts being slammed shut echoed for several minutes.

"I warned you about trying to sneak into the room," Cave remarked.

"How long have you been there?!" Chika span around to glare at the disinterested Cave.

"It is my duty to protect Vert-sama. The instant you started to scale the building I had an entire team following your every move."

"But…" Chika leant her head against the wall and started to slowly fall to her knees. "A few days… without Vert-sama… I… I'm dying… You have to help… me…" She coughed up blood and slowly turned to Cave only to find she was alone in the hallway. "W-what?!" She noticed a note left on the ground.

' _I haven't time for your bullshit. I am going back to bed – Cave.'_

"F-fine," Chika stood up. "I still have _her_." She smirked. "And there is no doubt that she will be able to get between Ninja-san and Vert-sama! Just a few more days and she will be here…" Chika started laughing evilly until a paper aeroplane hit her in the face. "What the…"

' _Shut up. Some of us actually have jobs to do in the morning- Cave.'_

"Sorry," Chika cleared her throat before laughing much quieter. Revenge would be hers.

The Next Day

"How will this improve my gaming ability again?" Naruto scowled as he looked at the butler's outfit that Vert was holding with stars in her eyes.

"Trust me," Vert nodded. "This is no ordinary butler's suit. This is a Sexy-Sexy-Butler-Paradise outfit! It gives you +5 to your charisma and +3 to your obedience!"

"…Wait what?" Naruto tilted his head.

"N-never mind," Vert put the outfit to one side. "Are you ready for another day of gaming?"

"Er… I was going to ask a favour."

"Of course," Vert smiled.

"Seeing as I can create clones to play the game. Is it alright if today I have a wander around the local area?" Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "All these games are making my head a little fuzzy and I'm sure some fresh air will clear it up."

"Well…" Vert looked thoughtful. _'If I say yes not only do I appear to be a much kinder master than Noire, he will also see my beautiful city and fall in love with it! Sure it might slow down his gaming skill grinding but if it secures me permanent access to the Ninja then it is a price worth paying!'_ "Of course." She smiled.

"Thanks!" Naruto grinned widely as he created several clones that begrudgingly made their way to the games consoles.

"Do you wish for a guided tour?" Vert tilted her head. "I would love to show you around."

"That's okay," Naruto smiled. "I wouldn't want to get between you and your work."

"My work?"

"Well yeah," Naruto tilted his head. "Noire is always really busy with work so I figured you must be almost overloaded seeing as you were kind enough to spend all yesterday with me."

"Oh… yes…" Vert laughed weakly. _'I had completely forgotten to do most of it. Usually Chika would cover for me whilst I played games but I guess she has spent all her time trying to interrupt Ninja-san's gaming time. I probably should do something about that.'_ "Well if you are sure," She waved him off before hurrying to her main office, where a terrifying amount of paper work awaited her. "Cave?"

"Goddess-sama," Cave appeared behind her.

"Where is Chika?"

"She said she had to wash off the shame of upsetting you," Cave remarked dryly. "I haven't seen her for a good few hours."

"I… I see," Vert paled as she glanced at the paper work. "I don't suppose you could help me with this?"

"Unfortunately I am busy," Cave bowed her head. "Also I do believe only someone of Oracle level or higher can sign off these documents."

"…Right…" Vert's shoulders dropped as Cave left the room. "Oh well… Just think when I get Ninja-san to myself I will have an army of clones to do all this work! Nothing will come between me and playing games!" She rolled up her sleeves and made her way towards her desk with the precariously piled papers.

With Noire

Noire scowled at her phone as she wandered aimlessly through Lastation. She had completed all of her paperwork and carried out the one mission that had sprung up since Naruto's departure, although she was slightly confused at the flicker of disappointment on the clients' face when they realised it wasn't Uzumaki-san carrying out the mission. It appeared she was not the only one missing the blonde ninja _. 'Not that I am missing him.'_ She mentally correct as she checked her phone once again to see if he had run her but he had still yet to call her.

"Is Onee-sama alright?" Uni glanced at Kei. The two of them had been following her at a discrete distance to try and gauge her mood. She hadn't really spoken whilst finishing off what little paperwork was generated and had immediately left her room to pace around Lastation, all the while glaring at her phone.

"I believe she is missing Ninja-san," Kei remarked.

"Then why doesn't she call him?" Uni tilted her head.

"Do you miss Uzumaki-san?"

"Well… I guess a bit."

"Why don't you ring him?"

"W-what?!" Uni blushed. "T-to ring a boy out of the blue?! W-why would I want to do that? Especially him of all boys! It's not like I care what he is doing or anything!"

"And there you have your answer," Kei remarked.

"Well why don't you ring him!" Uni defended herself hotly.

"For one, I am not pining over him." Kei remarked calmly. "And two, I already have."

"W-what?!" Uni staggered backwards. "What did he say?"

"Uzumaki-san said he was happy." Kei shrugged. "Beyond that he said that the mission was off to a good start and he should be back here in a week."

"Did… Did he mention me at all?" Uni asked.

"Briefly yes," Kei nodded.

"R-really?" Uni brightened up.

"He asked if we were all doing well." Kei nodded.

"And what did you tell him?"

"That you and Noire-sama were moping around missing him."

"W-w-w-why would you say that?!" Uni went bright red.

"If we are to retain Uzumaki-san's loyalty it is imperative that he knows he is valued and if we are truthful with him I believe he is honour bound to be truthful to us."

"But you didn't have to tell him that."

"Really?" Kei looked thoughtful. "I see."

"Well…" Uni fidgeted. "What did he say to that?"

"Oh, something about missing you two as well," Kei replied dismissively.

"He's… missing us?" Uni smirked. "Of course he is missing us!"

"To say you don't really care for him you seem awfully pleased at that." Kei chuckled softly before turning her attention to Noire.

"F-fine damn it!" Noire yelled at the phone. "If you won't ring me then I'll ring you! You'd better be grateful!" She dialled a number than held the phone up to her ear.

"Er… Hello?" Naruto's voice sounded out of breath.

"Uzumaki-san?" Noire's eyes narrowed. "What are you doing?"

"Er… I'm a little busy."

"More!" An ecstatic female voice gasped out over the line.

"…Ninja-san." Noire's fringe covered her eyes. "What exactly are you busy with?"

"A spar."

"A spar… I see…. GO DIE IN A VAT OF ACID YOU FILTHY LETCHER!" She hung up and stormed back to her office.

"Well that didn't sound good," Kei narrowed her eyes.

Several Minutes Earlier with Naruto

"So this is Leanbox huh?" Naruto sighed happily as he walked around Leanbox. "This is a decent enough place eh Kichi?"

There was a sudden movement and Kichi squeezed out of Naruto's sleeve and reformed in a chibi version of his usual size, bouncing happily in his master's palm.

"Hah," Naruto chuckled as he put the slime dog on his shoulder. "You like it here too? I suppose the fresh air here is better than back in Lastation. There's too many of those factories for my liking. I'm used to smell of the forests on the breeze." He took a deep breath. "Still I guess we can't stay here right? I do have that debt thing to pay off to Noire." He rubbed his chin. "I wonder what Noire is doing right now… Maybe I should ring her." He pulled his phone out and scowled at it. "I wish I could remember how to use this thing." He flipped the phone open and stared at it critically. "Any ideas?" He turned to Kichi who swallowed it. "Figures." Naruto shook his head as he retrieved the phone and put it in his pocket. "I hope that still works. Noire will probably add 100 years to my sentence if get it broken."

Kichi hopped eagerly in agreement. That was why Kichi had tried to eat the strange tasting thing. The angry black haired girl would make blonde haired master stay with her which blonde hair master wanted, even if blonde haired master didn't know it yet. Besides sister of angry black haired girl was kind to Kichi and Kichi liked people who were kind to Kichi, like the really big boobed girl who made really nice food and costumes for him.

"Er… Stop!"

"Huh?" Naruto paused in his stroll and turned to face an excited looking girl. "Can I help you?"

"Are you… This guy?" She waved a poster in his face. "The Panty Sniffer?"

"Oh that bounty has been cancelled," Naruto laughed weakly. "It was all a misunderstanding. I am not a pervert."

"But you are a ninja right?"

"Er… Yes I am."

"Great!" The girl beamed. "My name is Tekken!"

"Oh, I guess they call me Ninja-san," Naruto scratched the back of his head.

"Can I spar with you please?" She bowed her head.

"Sure," Naruto nodded. "I haven't had a good spar in… quite a while." He coughed awkwardly. His last few spars had been against Jiraiya after all and always ended with him being punted into a woman's hot springs and beaten half to death. Jiraiya said it would improve his appreciation of the female form but Naruto was pretty sure that he was more likely to develop a phobia of women that a special sort of appreciation for them. "Can I ask why?"

"I… I want to get stronger!" Tekken clenched her fists. "So I need to spar strong people!"

"Strong…" Naruto blushed and rubbed the back of his head grinning, "Well I am kind of strong you know?"

"Great!" Tekken beamed.

"So where do you want to…" Naruto started.

"Rush!" Tekken yelled as she launched a blitz of quick attacks at Naruto who leapt backwards, Kichi leaping off of Naruto's shoulder, a black spiky haired wig and a dagger bigger than he was appearing out of nowhere.

"Okay I guess we are doing this here?" Naruto glanced around to see the locals quickly fleeing the scene.

"Ah," Tekken blushed. "I'm sorry I got so excited I didn't really think about where I was."

Kichi Fair didn't respond. He was SOLDIER First Class and a professional. With a fierce bounce of anger (which was completely indistinguishable from his bounce of hunger and bounce of happiness) he charged Tekken.

"Ah a monster!" She punted the Dogoo into the air where he became a twinkle in the sky.

[Kichi Fair has left the party]

"Hey!" Naruto watched Kichi soar over the horizon. "That was my pet!"

"Oh… Don't worry!" She handed a small bag to him.

"What is this?"

"It's phoenix down! The magical life saver!" Tekken nodded. "Warning: Maynotworkifyouareskeweredbythemainantagonistofthegamewhilstprayinginanancientcity."

"I didn't quite catch that."

"Let's fight!" Tekken started punching air.

"Heh," Naruto stretched out. "You've gotten me all fired up now. I'm warning you I won't hold back!"

"Great!" Tekken grinned before charging Naruto again. "Break Hit!" She cried out as she launched a powerful punch.

"Too slow," Naruto grinned as leapt over the attack and formed his favourite hand seal, causing two clones to pop into existence. "Let's see who you deal with this!" He and the three clones attacked from different angles, forcing Tekken to defend.

"Solid clones?!" Tekken winced as she was punched in the face sending her skidding backwards. "That tingles!" She gasped in pleasure.

"Pardon?"

"Oh! Er.. I mean… Ouch! That really hurt."

"Ah sorry," Naruto looked sheepish. "I guess I got carried away a little."

"Hehehehe," Tekken grinned at Naruto. "It's a good pain! Hit me harder!"

"Eh?" Naruto blinked.

"Come on!" Tekken gleefully launched herself at one of the dumbfounded clones. "Straight!" She yelled as she launched a powerful punch at the clone, causing it to fly backwards and through a building before bursting into smoke.

"D-damn…" Naruto went pale. "She's scarier than Sakura-chan! But we can't back down now!" Naruto summoned a small swarm of clones. "Go get her!"

"Charge!" The clones charged towards Tekken who adjusted her stance with an eager look in her eyes.

"Yes!" She cried out as she fought against the swarm, each hit dispelling a good few clones but the gaps in the attack being quickly filled as she felt herself being pushed to her limit. Against the endless onslaught her body started to twitch with the pleasurable sensations travelling through her body from all the blows she was taking as well as the strain of constant punching to deal with the clones. It was euphoric!

"Damn, you are pretty impressive," Naruto blinked as she stood panting, having dealt with at least fifty clones.

"I'm… I'm not done yet!" Tekken's clothes were ripped and dishevelled and her arms were covered in bruises. Every time she moved she moaned in pleasure.

"You sure?" Naruto paused as he felt something vibrate in his pocket. "Oh right… The phone that Noire gave me. Let me see… Twelve picture messages? I wonder who sent those. I guess when I get back home I'll ask Noire how to view them. Now how do I use this again? Ah that's it I press the green button right?" He pressed the button then held the phone up to his ear. "Er… Hello?"

"Uzumaki-san?" Noire's voice sounded suspicious. "What are you doing?"

"Er… I'm a little busy."

"More!" Tekken gasped as she stretched out to try and ease her aching muscles.

"…Ninja-san." Noire's voice should have triggered all sorts of alarms in Naruto's head. Unfortunately, he was too busy making sure Tekken didn't catch him off guard to realise the tone of her voice. "What exactly are you busy with?"

"A spar."

"A spar… I see…. GO DIE IN A VAT OF ACID YOU FILTHY LETCHER!"

"Noire?" Naruto glanced at the phone. "She ended the call? Did… Did I do something wrong?"

"Fight me!"

"Well I guess it's time to end this then," Naruto made a mental note to ring Noire back later and put the phone away before charging towards a beckoning Tekken. "I'm not holding back anymore! Don't blame me if you get killed!" A shadow clone formed beside him and started to gather his chakra in a sphere in Naruto's hand.

"Time… To get serious!" Tekken clenched her fist that started to crackle with lightning.

"Rasengan!" Naruto formed the spiralling blue sphere and thrust it towards Tekken.

"Raijin Fist!" Tekken threw a lightning coated fist at the blue sphere causing a massive explosion that sent both combatants spiralling away, Tekken become a glint in the sky whereas Naruto found himself hurtling towards Vert's home.

With Chika

"Vert-sama hates me…" Chika whined as she stood in the shower. She had been simply stood under the cold water for a good three hours now, trying to wash away the shame that she felt for upsetting her beloved Vert-sama. Even if she did manage to get rid of the blonde haired rat who had infested her love nest, she was worried that she would never repair her relationship with her beloved Vert-sama. "Why does that blonde rodent insist on getting between me and my glorious destiny?" She slumped under the weight of the water and her own depression. "Maybe if I understood his motives I could figure out a way to deal with him."

Any further thoughts were abruptly brought to a halt when a small section of wall exploded and a cursing Naruto flew into her, knocking her to the ground then pining her down.

"Eh?" Chika blinked stupidly.

"Oh…" Naruto grinned weakly. "Sorry about this." He glanced down before quickly looking up, his face aflame. "S-sorry! I didn't know you were naked!" He quickly got off of her and stepped away.

"I was in the shower. Why would I be dressed?" Chika spoke in a deadpan but before she could get her answer the roof suddenly caved in and Naruto quickly dived on top of her to shield her from the rubble. "Eh?" She blinked as Naruto bit his lip to stop himself crying out in pain. "You… You protected me?"

"Of course," Naruto grimaced as the rubble fell off of his back. "Why wouldn't I?"

"I… Oh!" Chika's eyes widened as she suddenly had a (completely incorrect) revelation. _'I get it now! He wasn't trying to split me and Vert-sama up to take her away from me. He was trying to separate us so he could take me away! No doubt he has his clones distracted Vert-sama so he could sneak away and ravish me?! But my body is only for Vert-sama! But wait… maybe he knows this… That's why he is trying to win over Vert-sama. He knows that if he gets Vert-sama to love him then he can indirectly have sex with me if we had a threesome! I… I am kind of flattered he is going to such effort just to win my affections… Maybe… Maybe he does deserve a little reward for his bravery and effort so far…'_ She closed her eyes and leaned forward to kiss Naruto.

"I heard an explosion is everything all…" Cave opened the door to the bathroom and paused. "Ah… I see." She coughed awkwardly.

"Huh?" Naruto blinked before it suddenly dawned on him just what Cave could see. Him pinning down a naked Chika who had her eyes closed and was blushing for some reason. He went bright red when he realised he was squeezing her breast. "This isn't what you think."

"So you didn't get blasted through the wall fighting a strange girl and landed on top of a naked Chika?"

"Oh… In that case it is exactly what it looks like."

"It looks like you are molesting Chika Panty Sniffer-kun." Cave replied.

"But… You said…"

"I said I thought you had been blasted through the wall. I never said that was what it looked like," Cave smiled slightly. "I'll leave you two alone shall I? But first." Cave took a picture of the two.

"W-w-w-what?"

"I believe Lady Noire required regular updates on your mission. I shall be sure to forward the relevant documents to her." Cave walked out of the room.

"I am so dead." Naruto whimpered as he climbed off of Chika and slowly stumbled out of the bathroom.

"D-damn it Cave!" Chika covered herself up with a towel. "Why'd she have to interrupt?" She paused for a second. "I wonder… If he has kissed Vert-sama? If he has then… then CAVE JUST DENIED ME A SECOND-HAND KISS WITH VERT-SAMA?! DAMN YOU CAVE!" The oracle roared before storming out of the bathroom as the last of the ceiling finally gave up the ghost and collapsed behind her.

With Tekken

"Oh man…" Tekken sighed dreamily as she clambered out of the crater she had made. "Er… Where am I?" She looked around confused. "Oh man…" She sighed sadly. "And I was having so much fun!" She glanced at her fist that she had used to punch the Rasengan. "Man I took a lot of damage…" She clenched her fist gasping at the sudden surge of pleasure. "Man… There is no way I haven't gotten stronger! This is awesome!" She jumped in the air, crying out in excitement which suddenly became a moan of pleasure as her messed up nervous system translated pain into pleasure. "Haa…" She panted. "I... I feel so _alive!_ " She licked her finger and held it up in the air. "Hmm… So the wind is blowing that way… Shame I have no idea what direction the wind is supposed to be blowing in or what direction from here Leanbox is… Oh well!" She cheerfully picked a random direction and walked off. "I can't wait until we meet again Ninja-sempai! We'll have such fun!" She paused as she sensed something wasn't quite right.

[Limit Break: Octoslash!]

"Eh?" Tekken blinked before being blindsided by a blue blur that ricocheted around and struck her several times until she finally fell over unconscious.

Kichi Fair skidded to a halt and glanced at the unconscious Tekken for a moment before staring at the sky. He had no idea where he was but he knew the Blonde master would be getting into all sorts of trouble without him but his master would have to endure until the strange punching girl took the blue SOLDIER home.

Until then Kichi had other jobs he could do for his master's happiness. Bouncing over towards Tekken and secreting a camera out of his body, he started taking a panty shots of the unconscious Tekken.

A Dogoo's work was never done.

And Now for something completely different: Omake ...A Christmas Present!

"Ohayo!" Neptune called out cheerfully as she walked into Noire's office. Instead of her usual hoodie she was wearing a short red coat that showed off her midriff and a very short red skirt that stopped mid-thigh, in short it looked like she was wearing the standard sexy Miss Santa outfit. "Merry Christmas!" She fired off a party popper.

"Eh?" Naruto turned to look at Neptune before blushing and looking away.

"Ohoh?" Neptune leaned into him, "See something you like?" She grabbed the edge of her skirt and went to lift it.

"Stop distracting my help!" Noire threw a pen at Neptune's head. "We are finalising the mission reports for this month!"

"But it's Christmas!" Neptune whined. "You don't work on Christmas! It's… It's… Unnatural!"

"Oh is it Christmas?" Noire blinked as she looked at a calendar. "So it is." She carried on working.

"What's Christmas?" Naruto asked.

"It's a day where you play and give presents as well as Christmas pudding!" Neptune cheered. "So no more work!" She happily pushed the paper work off of Noire's desk.

"H-hey!" Noire tried to catch them. "Unlike some people I actually care about my city!"

"Hey!" Neptune crossed her arms. "I care about my city too! That's why I give everyone the day off on Christmas!"

"Including Histoire?"

"…Almost everybody the day off," Neptune amended. "But seriously Noire-chan, where is your Christmas spirit? You aren't even dressed for the occasion and where are your decorations?"

"Why would I decorate my office?" Noire frowned.

"Because of the party you are throwing of course!" Neptune laughed.

"I am too busy to throw a party." Noire remarked.

"Actually," Kei cleared her throat, "There isn't much work to do. I can finish up here and you and Uni-sama can have the day off."

"See!" Neptune beamed. "Today is a day for fun!"

"W-well," Noire frowned. "I could do with a bit of time off. Fine." She nodded.

"That's a relief," Neptune laughed. "I was worried what I'd tell the others!"

"Others?"

"Hello!" Vert entered the room. "I thought you said Noire-chan was hosting a party?"

"She is," Neptune nodded. "She just hasn't started preparations yet!"

"My that sounds most unlike Noire-chan," Vert tilted her head.

"What are you doing here Thunder Tits?" Blanc growled as she entered the room. "Aren't you supposed to be in the slaughter house getting turned into burgers you old cow?"

"I'm sorry little girl do I know you?" Vert tilted her head. "Oh Blanc-chan! I didn't realise it was you. With such a flat chest and lack of height I could have sworn you were a pre-schooler."

"You invited the other Goddesses to my city for a party you wanted me to host _without_ informing me!" Noire glared at Neptune.

"Oops," She hit herself on the head and laughed. "My bad."

"Seriously," Noire sighed.

"Well if we all work together we can have this place looking amazing in a matter of minutes!" Neptune declared. "Isn't that right Vert? Blanc?" She turned to see the two Goddess glaring death at each other.

"Lastation doesn't need your help setting up a party," Noire remarked. "We have our own way of doing things at short notice."

"Exploiting the hell out of Ninja-san's clones?" Neptune asked.

"W-well," Noire coughed awkwardly.

"I'm on it," Naruto sighed as he summoned a small army of clones.

A few minutes later and Noire's office was covered in tinsel and had a large Christmas tree in the centre. A large buffet table filled with various treats (courtesy of Compa who had arrived with Neptune) lined the walls of the office where as teary eyed Kichi was sat as if he had just gazed upon the gates of heaven and was paralysed by his awe.

"Hmm…." Neptune looked around, "The buffet is fully stocked and there is plenty of pudding. The tree looks great and there are even presents under the tree… Something is missing… Ah!" She clapped her hands, "I got it!"

"What?" Noire frowned as she looked around. "Everything seems fine to me."

"We aren't dressed right!" Neptune declared as she pulled three costumes from nowhere. "You three need to dress up!"

"W-w-what?" Noire blushed as she held up the outfit. It was the same as Neptune's only tailored for her exact body shape. "How did you get it in my size?"

"Oh please," Neptune looked proud. "I know all the sizes of the goddesses and most of the CPU candidates as well!"

"Really?" Naruto lifted his eyebrows.

"Ohoh?" Neptune smirked. "Is Ninja-san interested in knowing my sizes?"

"I… That is to say," Naruto cleared his throat, "I would not have any interest in that."

"Are you sure?" Neptune grinned. "I'll let you get a _feel_ for the numbers," She winked coyly.

"I… That…" Naruto stammered. "I think I hear something all the way over there!" He quickly retreated out of the room.

"Ahaha!" Neptune laughed. "Not Jiraiya-san is so much fun! Are you sure you don't want to sell him?"

"No." Noire shook her head. "He is my servant and I have no desire to part with him."

"I'll give you a pudding." Neptune ventured as Noire shook her head and walked off to get changed. "Two? Three?!"

"My, my," Vert checked her reflection in the mirror. "Ninja-san will definitely like this!"

"What the fuck do you know about my fiancé's taste in clothing Thunder Tits?" Blanc glared at Vert. Her obscene bust seemed to be exaggerated by the small jacket and just looking at her was pissing Blanc off more than usual.

"He happens to like my breasts," Vert sighed happily. "Why when we were sleeping together he…"

"What?!" Blanc growled. "You slept with my fiancé?! You cheap whore!" Blanc dived at Vert and knocked her to the floor.

"It's always so lively when the goddesses get together," Compa remarked as she carried another tray of food in. She too was wearing the Santa outfit.

"Yeah?" IF turned to see Vert and Blanc break apart and glare at each other. "Doesn't give me much hope for the future though." She sighed. Unlike the others, IF had simply replaced her blue jacket with an equally large Santa jacket.

"Onee-sama!" Nepgear and Uni entered the room together.

"Ahahaha!" Neptune wagged her finger and pointed up.

"What?" Uni scowled before looked up and blushing.

"Oh!" Nepgear beamed, "It's some mistletoe."

"You know what that means!" Neptune laughed. "You gotta kiss!"

"W-w-what?" Uni blushed. "I don't think that…" She was silenced by Nepgear kissing her on the lips, her tongue forcing its way into Uni's mouth, who was powerless to stop her.

"Er…" Noire blinked.

"Oh my," Compa smiled. "That looks like fun!"

"Fun?" IF glanced at Compa then back at the two CPU candidates. "I guess…"

"Mwah!" Nepgear gasped as she broke the kiss, Uni hanging in her arms with spirals for eyes.

"As expected of my sis!" Neptune gave a thumbs up. "Top quality fan service!"

"You didn't have to go quite that far," Noire rubbed her forehead as Nepgear blushed and helped Uni into a seat.

"Did I miss anything?" Naruto remarked as he re-entered the room and stood blissfully unaware underneath the mistletoe.

"Chance!" Neptune dived towards him.

"This is my moment!" Vert lunged towards Naruto who leapt over the two girls, causing them to collide into each other.

"Er… You guys really go all out when it comes to the mistletoe…" Naruto blushed and looked away.

"Neptune!" Vert gasped as they broke the kiss.

"Aw man," Neptune frowned. "I wanted to kiss Not Jiraiya-san! Still… What the hell do you eat to get these monsters?" She started to squeeze Vert's breasts.

"Er…" Naruto blushed.

"Ohoh?" Neptune smirked. "Is Ninja-san having dirty thoughts? Tut tut." She wagged a finger at him.

"Mr Ninja is a pervert," Compa nodded happily.

"Such a pervert," IF agreed.

"It's not like that!" Naruto stepped backwards away from Neptune's smirk only to stand on Kichi and slip backwards. He threw his arms out to try and grab something, anything to stop his fall. He felt fabric and tried to grab it but the material fell with him, leaving him his back, fabric clenched in his hands. He opened his eyes and went pale.

"W-w-w-w-what the hell?!" Noire tucked her skirt between her legs as she tried to cover herself.

"Onii-chan…If… If you wanted to see it… You only had to ask…" Blanc mumbled softly.

Naruto tore his eyes away from the up skirt view he had to look at the black panties in his left hand and the white ones in his right. His last thoughts before passing out were ' _I wonder if they shave or a just naturally quite tidy down there.'_

AN. Here is another chapter and it seems there is more than just solid kichi but kichi fair as well

in case no one knows Zack fair is from crises core final fantasy seven he was trapped in a tank in suspended animation unable to do physical exercise for 4 years and despite that he fought over 11 S rank monsters and a soldier 1st class transformed into a monster then he fought the soldier 1st class detransformed and went Marching to midgar where his girlfriend was and was also where a army of 10,000 soldiers with helicopters and missiles and machine guns were coming from there he was informed about by a email and even thought he fought those monsters and soldier member not even one day before he still went against them to protect his Friend and to see his girlfriend again and only three soldiers in the army lived cause they hid behind a bunch of rocks and stormed him and shot him down once he turned his back to them the other 9,997 soldiers were already slain by his sword and the final helicopter had flown away in fear after seeing the other soldiers die and the other helicopters destroyed

After seeing him do all that and that he couldn't excersise to keep his strength up for four years yet still able to do all that he gained my respect and will and shall always be my favorite game anime show and movie character of all time

REST IN PEACE ZACK FAIR

now everyone hope you enjoyed the Omake and please review review and review


	5. Mission in Leanbox part 2

Hero of Dimensions

A/N:

Disclaimer:

Chapter Name Here

"Chika~" A soft voice whispered in the green haired oracle's ear.

"Vert-sama?" Chika blinked as she opened her eyes. Before her, Vert was wearing the tightest, black leather corset she had ever seen. Her impressive bust threatened to burst free at any moment and only a semi-transparent black thong covering her womanhood. The two of them were laid on a red velvet bed surrounding by sultry red curtains.

"Do you want to play with me Chika-chan?"

"Vert-sama." Chika leaned out to help one of her goddess's restrained breasts break free from the corset but cried out in pain as a riding crop struck her hand.

"I don't recall giving you permission to touch my possession." A dark voice chuckled from behind her.

"W-w-what?" Chika turned to see Naruto, clad in a military outfit, a commissar's cap atop his blonde hair.

"No fair master~" Vert whined. "Why don't you hit me too?"

"Does my lowly slave think she is qualified to tell me what to do?" Naruto ran the riding crop down Vert's body, causing the busty goddess to shiver.

"Vert has been a bad girl~"

"And what do bad girls get?" Naruto smirked.

"Punished~"

"Correct," Naruto smiled sadistically as the riding crop struck Vert's exposed thighs, resulting in a cry of pleasure and pain from the goddess.

"Vert-sama!" Chika tried to stand but with a click of his fingers, Naruto bound her to the bed she was laid in.

"Don't worry," Naruto smirked at her. "Soon you two will be my willing slave."

"S-slave?" Chika struggled against the thick robes tying her down, realising for the first time that she was in an extremely tight leotard, leaving her arms and things bare.

"Don't struggle~" Vert smiled at her. "It took time but… I love my master and I need to be disciplined~"

"She is mine… body and soul." Naruto roughly tore her corset apart revealing her beautiful breasts which he started to aggressive squeeze and fondle, her large mammaries squeezing between her fingers.

"Vert-sama…" Chika blinked. While part of her was horrified at someone (other than her) treating her goddess in such a rough, sexual fashion, a small part of her was excited to see such an erotic sight.

"Master~" Vert gasped erotically as Naruto pinched her nipples before letting her breasts fall, her erect nipples and panting betraying her aroused state.

"You want to taste this?" Naruto used the riding crop to peel the soaked thong from Vert's most sacred spot.

"I…" Chika gulped.

"A good girl answers questions when asked," Naruto's whip cracked on Chika's thighs, leaving a red mark but also a strange burning inside Chika's loins. "Do you want to taste this?"

"Y-yes," Chika gasped as Naruto stimulated her lower lips over the top of the leotard.

"See how much easier it is when you are obedient?" Naruto whispered in her ear, his riding crop trailing her body over the top of the leotard, flicking her nipples. "See how pleasant it is when you submit?"

"Y-yes master." Chika gasped as Naruto roughly tore her leotard apart.

"My, my… What a naughty body," Naruto smirked as he groped Chika's breast. "Slave… Get over here."

"Master~" Vert shamelessly crawled toward Chika, her abused breasts bouncing with each movement.

"I do not taste lower quality goods. Assess her breasts for me," Naruto ordered.

"As you wish Master~" Vert crawled over to Chika's exposed breasts with a sultry smile.

"Vert-sama…" Chika felt her loins burning with anticipation.

"It's time to wake up." Vert's lips were moving but it was Cave's voice she heard.

"Oh no… Don't you dare!"

"Wake up."

Back to the Real world.

"You bitch!" Chika yelled as Cave flipped the bed the oracle was laid in, causing her to wake up.

"You have your duties to attend to." Cave remarked bluntly.

"But… But Vert-sama… In my dream she was about to…"

"I do not care what happens in that depraved mind of yours." Cave turned around to leave the oracle's room.

"Where is Vert-sama? I have needs only she can fulfil."

"I believe she was giving Ninja-san a private showing…."

"WHAT? Only I should get such a luxury!" Chika set off in the direction of Vert's room.

"…Of 5bp's last concert." Cave finished as she watched the enraged oracle march off with a slight smile. "I have to admit; Mr Ninja is certainly keeping things interesting."

"Cave nee-sama!"

"Saya." Cave glanced at her subordinate. "I trust you enjoyed your day off."

"It was productive." Saya nodded. "I completed the Legendary Tomb of Awesomeness in record time. Unfortunately, my raid party had some issues in the early part of the raid so we weren't able to complete it just yet. Plus my big sister is in town."

"Oh?" Cave groaned. "I have a feeling today will be very busy. I want you ready to respond to any public disturbances that may arise."

"You suspect something will happen today?"

"Call it intuition." Cave smiled softly as she walked down the hallway.

To Vert's Secret Love Nest/ Movie Room

Naruto blinked in amazement as he watched the girl dancing on screen. She had long blue hair that fell to her elbows and swayed in time to her dancing. Her bright pink eyes sparkled as she danced energetically and sang happily. Naruto hadn't heard this kind of music before but it was certainly catching, he found himself nodding his head in time to the beat.

"You like this?" Vert looked excited.

"Yeah," Naruto nodded as he watched her dancing happily. She was wearing a short, black bikini top with white stripes. She was wearing a ruffled black skirt and long black Lolita style stocks and boots.

"Hello everybody!" She cheerfully called out at the end of the song. "Did you enjoy the show?"

A massive roar from the crowd caused the picture to shake.

"Well I really should be ending here… But maybe I could do one more song~"

The crowd's cheering intensified.

"Well… Okay! One! Two! One, two, three, four!" She called out and suddenly the music started up again.

"Ah," Vert smiled as Naruto watched the show. "5bp-chan is Leanbox's best idol!"

"Idol?" Naruto blinked.

"The people of Gamindustri all eagerly await her new songs and tickets to her shows are all sold out mere moments after they are released."

"I can see why," Naruto smiled. "She seems to be enjoying herself."

"5bp does like to perform." Vert smiled.

"Shame I probably won't get to see her perform live."

"Oh? Would you want to watch her live?"

"Yeah," Naruto nodded.

"Well…" Vert smiled. "I do happen to own a VIP box at the arena… Maybe we could go watch one of her shows together."

"You mean it?"

"Of course," Vert smiled. "After all you'd never get to witness something like this in Lastation! Who knows, maybe watching her might make you want to stay with me~ You could watch all the shows you want."

"That sounds tempting," Naruto laughed. "But I can't just leave Noire. I still have my debt to pay off after all."

"Did you know that I could buy your debt from Noire."

"Really?"

"Yes," Vert hugged Naruto's arm between her breasts. "Wouldn't that be fun?"

"Er…" Naruto looked away awkwardly. "Erm… I mean…"

"GET AWAY FROM VERT MASTER!"

"What?" Naruto and Vert blinked.

"Er… I mean…" Chika coughed and straightened her outfit. "Stay away from Vert-sama Panty Sniffer-kun!"

"I'm pretty sure she called me master then," Naruto whispered to Vert.

"Stop spreading malicious rumours!" Chika crossed her arms. "I must insist that you focus on your assigned mission and…"

"My clones are working on that." Naruto interrupted her. "Last time I checked they had gotten to a place called the Legendary Tomb of Awesomeness."

"Really?" Vert looked impressed. "Why… If you can clear that you might stand a chance at starting the raid."

"They… Have been having issues…" Naruto looked as if he was having a Vietnam-style flashback.

" _Man down!"_

" _I need a res!"_

" _I need a healer!"_

" _WHY DID WE ALL CHOOSE A DPS CLASS?"_

" _It's teabagging my avatar!"_

"Panty Sniffer-kun?" Chika blinked.

"You weren't there man, you weren't there." Naruto shivered.

"Moving onwards," Vert clapped her hands together. "We should make plans for our date~"

"What?" Chika was surrounded with a foreboding evil aura.

"We are going to watch 5bp in my VIP room." Vert smiled.

"Ninja-san." Chika glared at Naruto. "This means War!"

"Eh?" Naruto watched as Chika stormed off. "Did I… Did I do something to upset her?"

"Oh pay her no mind," Vert smiled. "She has probably just not slept well. I know how to cheer her up."

"Oh?"

"A massage!" Vert cracked her fingers, "I have magical fingers and my massages are second to none."

"Really?"

"Of course," Vert nodded. "I'll tell you what, if you go and buy me the oils I need… I'll give you a reward so amazing you'll think you have died and gone to heaven."

"R-really?" Naruto blinked. _'Could it be… All you can eat Ramen?'_

"Really," Vert nodded confidently. _'After a massage from me, he will be putty in my hands.'_

"Well when you put it like that," Naruto grinned. "I'd be a fool to turn you down."

"Great!" Vert clapped her hands together resulting in a most pleasant bounce in her chest (not that Naruto noticed, honestly). "Now here's where you need to go…"

Meanwhile in Planeptune

"I gathered you all here for an emergency meeting." Histoire looked at the assembled girls who all looked at her with a worried expression. "I think you have all been a victim of this… issue."

"I… I only took my eyes off them for a moment," IF frowned.

"I miss them already…" Compa looked downcast.

"But we mustn't lose hope," Histoire looked at the gathered heroines. "Between us sits a Goddess, her more reliable sister, an elite bounty hunter and a nurse in training. Between us¸ this… monster will not stand a chance!"

"Er…" Neptune put her hand up. "Am I the only one who has no idea what this meeting is about."

"Has Onee-sama not lost any panties?" Nepgear looked shocked.

"Lost panties?"

"Oh… I guess they had no interest in stealing Nep's underwear." IF smirked.

"They must not find her sexy enough." Compa smiled.

"Hey! I'm plenty sexy!" Neptune puffed out her cheeks. "I have thousands no… Millions of people who all want my panties! I am the Heroine after all so as the main female lead that means that by default I am the best!"

"I've been meaning to ask you," IF coughed. "What makes you think you are the heroine?"

"Eh?" Neptune blinked. "Because I am _always_ the heroine."

"But are you?" IF smirked. "If I remember rightly Nepgear here was the heroine of the second game."

"B-but…"

"And I'm pretty sure Noire has her own game."

"I… I'm the heroine…" Neptune's eyes were all wide and watery.

"Of course you are Onee-sama." Nepgear reassured her older (?) sister.

"Right!" Neptune instantly recovered.

"Moving along," Histoire coughed to get everyone else's attention. "As well as panties there have been… other things going missing."

"Someone stole my bra when I took it off and got a shower after a long day chasing NepNep so it was all sweaty and horrible," Compa nodded.

"Maybe they needed a parachute." Neptune remarked.

"They stole my favourite cup." Nepgear looked upset. "I hadn't finished drinking from it and it needed cleaning."

"Er… Maybe they were thirsty after leaving the hot shower?" Neptune shrugged.

"They stole one of my dirty coats," IF frowned, "I had just been carrying out a few bounties and had nipped back to get a bath. I threw it on the floor and someone stole it! That was my favourite damn it!"

"Maybe they were cold after drinking Nepgear's cold drink?" Neptune suggested.

"They even stole my…" Histoire looked embarrassed. "Precious items."

"Huh," IF blinked. "I never thought that someone would have a fetish for a fairy."

"H-Hey!" Histoire scowled as she stood up on her book. "This form has plenty of admirers! Just search online with safe search turned off!"

"Well that hardly counts," IF rolled her eyes. "Rule 34 remember?"

"Never underestimate the drives of a hormonally driven male!" Neptune declared.

"Er… Kind of," IF laughed weakly.

"Histoire's desire to be a fetish ignored," Nepgear smiled innocently ignoring Histoire's grimace, "We still need to find out who stole our personal items!"

"I hate the thought that somewhere is some naked pervert rolling around in my coat… sniffing it and fantasising about me." IF looked sick.

"Whilst they suck on my bra," Compa looked horrified.

"Whilst drinking from my cup and thinking it's like a kiss," Nepgear looked terrified.

"Man you guys have really low opinions of Not Jiraiya-san." Neptune cleared out her ears.

"…Why do you say that?"

"Er…" Neptune looked guilty. "Ahahaha…"

"Onee-sama?"

"Well… It's all your fault!" Neptune pointed at the girls.

"Pardon?" IF blinked.

"If you were sexier in the photos then I wouldn't have had to resort to this!"

"…What?" Histoire twitched.

"W-well," Neptune laughed weakly, "You all agreed that it would be a good thing if Not Jiraiya-san lived with us right?"

"Well there would be a chance that some work would actually get done around here." IF remarked.

"Precisely! But the ecchi photos of Nepgear didn't get any response from Ninja-san!" Neptune flailed her arms. "Not even the secret photos I took starring Iffy and Compa when they were showering!"

"…Would anyone object if I killed the Goddess?" IF was excluding an aura of pure rage.

"Irresponsible as she is, she is still a goddess," Histoire rubbed her forehead.

"I even sent naked pictures of Histoire to see if that was more of his thing!" Neptune continued.

"Then again," Histoire's aura matched IF's.

"Now," Nepgear stood between her sister and the angry bounty hunter/ oracle. "Onee-sama was doing her best to help Planeptune."

"R-right!" Neptune nodded eagerly. "Not Jiraiya-san would help Planeptune out! I only did this because I love Planeptune! Plus Not Jiraiya-san is really fun! I figured that sending panties and bras would get him to come here! I… I even sent him a pudding cup!"

"W-what?!" Histoire was shocked.

"NepNep willing gave up her pudding?" Compa gasped.

"W-well," IF blinked. "I… I guess you really want Ninja-san here huh?"

"I really, really want him here so we can all play together." Neptune nodded. "But Noire's being a big meanie and won't let him come here."

"Well you know what you could do," IF remarked with an evil smile.

"Huh?"

"Well… since you've sent him pictures of everyone why not some risqué pictures of you?"

"Well… Er… You see…" Neptune laughed weakly.

"Get her girls," Histoire ordered. "Unless she is willing to apologise."

"My only regret is sending that pudding."

"…Strip her," Histoire ordered.

"You think you can take me on!" Neptune puffed out her small chest, "I am a Goddess! Engarde!" She pulled her sword from nowhere.

"I've always wanted to test myself against a Goddess," IF smirked.

"Sorry Nee-sama," Nepgear pointed her sword at Neptune. "But this is your punishment!"

And thus the great civil war of Planeptune began. It lasted approximately ten minutes and resulting in a naked Neptune (In her goddess form) with an equally naked Nepgear in a headlock whilst a naked Compa hung around Neptune's neck and a naked IF was a lying with spirals in her eyes.

"Well… This out to do," Histoire took a picture and sent it to Naruto. "Whilst I don't agree with the method… the thought of the practically unlimited manpower of Ninja-san is something that I can't overlook as an oracle."

"You're just saying that in the hope he has a fairy fetish," Purple Heart remarked cockily.

"…It's a popular fetish!"

"Sure it is," The other girls all smiled patronisingly.

"Seriously…" Histoire rubbed her forehead. "I'll bet Kei doesn't have to deal with this kind of nonsense."

Back to Naruto

"Let me see," Naruto walked around Leanbox with a smile. "Vert said that the shop should be somewhere around here." He glanced at the sheet of paper he had been given then looked around. "Huh… I don't see it." He glanced over his shoulder. "Aren't you going to help me out here?" He directed this to the angry girl tapping her foot. She was wearing a maid outfit and Naruto was still 70% sure it was one of his clones gone rogue and was messing with him. It was Cave's right hand woman and SMD elite, Saya.

"That was not in the orders issued to me by Cave nee-sama." Saya scowled at Naruto. "My orders are to ensure that you do not cause a disturbance on your travels."

"W-what?" Naruto stepped back at the intensity of her glare. "What did I do to you?"

"Do you know how much trouble you have gotten papa into?!"

"Eh?"

"When pictures of you started circulating… Mama thought you were a lovechild of papa!"

"…Eh?" Naruto repeated himself.

"She was so distraught!" Saya crossed her arms and scowled. "I thought she was going to kill papa! It was only after she finished the water torture that she realised he was innocent!"

"W-water torture?!"

"And that was after the shock therapy!"

"S-shock therapy?! What kind of woman is your mother?!"

"She is kind and loving and I want to grow up to be as powerful and loving mother as her." Saya stared off into the distance.

"Er…" Naruto gulped. _'That woman sounds like crazy bad news... although I get the distinct feeling the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.'_ He shivered as Saya started tapping her foot rapidly. "So…er… Do you know where this shop is?"

"Let me see that," Saya took the note from Vert before handing it back instantly. "I have no idea where that store is. This mission is impossible. Let's call it quits."

"It's hardly impossible," Naruto blinked. "Heck we could even ask someone and they would probably be able to give us directions…"

"…Fine." Saya snatched the note and walked up to a woman who was walking a small dog. "Civilian."

"Ah how can I help you Maid-san?"

"I am not a maid. I am an elite soldier of Leanbox." Saya adjusted her maid's outfit. "This uniform is a tribute to Cave nee-sama."

"Oh… I'm sorry Maid-san."

"I'm not… Oh I give in. It's not worth it." Saya slumped and a small rain cloud formed over her head.

"Wow… I mean seriously," Naruto walked past her. "You don't take setbacks very well do you? Excuse me miss…"

"Ah It's the Panty Sniffer Ninja! Stay away! W-wait, you make your twin sister wear a maid uniform even though she is a soldier?! What a pervert!" The woman pulled out some mace and sprayed Naruto in the face.

"ARGH!" Naruto clawed at his eyes. "The hell woman?! I don't have any siblings!"

"W-well… I still won't give in! You won't sniff my panties!"

"Like hell I'd want to!"

"W-what's that supposed to mean? Are my panties not good enough for you!" She sprayed him with mace again.

"What the actual hell?!" Naruto staggered backwards, his eyes on fire.

"What a jerk," The woman sniffed angrily as she walked away.

"Hey get back here!" Naruto yelled angrily. "Seriously? What the hell?"

"It is obvious that the fates are against us today." Saya brushed off her apron. "I would advise we retreat to the Basilcom."

"Like hell!" Naruto grit his teeth as he slowly regained the sight in his eyes. "I'm not going to let a small thing like this stop me! I won't return to the Basilcom until I have gotten that oil and then I am going to play the hell out of that game because that how Naru… I mean that's how I do things!"

"Huh…" Saya tilted her head. "That will to never give up… heh." She shook her head. "You remind me of nee-chan."

"Nee-chan?"

"Hai," Saya paused fondly. "She is not my sister by blood. Papa and Mama adopted her shortly after they entered this world. Although she does look a lot like mama…" Her shoulders drooped. "She has such beautiful red hair where as I… I'm blonde!" She wailed. "It's all hopeless!"

"Okay first things first, Blonde is awesome," Naruto lectured her, "And secondly: What do you mean 'Entered this world'? What do you mean?"

"Mama and Papa entered this world from a different reality." Saya tilted her head. "Don't you even know of alternate dimensions?"

"Of… Of course I do! I'm from one… I think." He finished weakly.

"Oh?" Saya tilted her head. "What was your dimension like?"

"Er…" Naruto stared into the sky fondly. "It was… nice. I had friends who I fought alongside. We had fun times and some… less fun times."

"Such as?"

"My best friend/ brother-figure rammed a fist covered in lightning through my chest. After I was kind enough to not shred his chest cavity with my Rasengan."

"…You have a complicated family life I take it," Saya remarked.

"Meh," Naruto shrugged. "Not that complicated really. I don't have any."

"Oh…" Saya looked depressed. "Seriously can't even hold a conversation… I should just go live as a hermit…"

"Why the hell are you looking so depressed?" Naruto grinned. "I never let it get me down. So I might not have a family… I have precious people. It is for them that I fight." Naruto turned to speak to Saya only to find himself in the middle of a field. "W-what?! Genjutsu?!" Naruto wracked his brain, "Ah I remember! Kai!" He glanced around. "Well that didn't work…"

"Hey what are you doing?" A cheerful voice asked.

"Ah?!" Naruto span around. "You… You're… Er… FantasicalQB?"

"Er No…"

"AmazingBJ?"

"Please don't go mistaking me for a sex act," The cheerful girl tilted her head. "It is I! MarvelousAQL! But you can call me Marvy!" The orange haired girl beamed, her red eyes glinting with a mischievous cheer and one hand lazily resting on one of two ninjato on her hip.

"So… Are you to blame for this?" Naruto gestured to the field. "Or maybe… maybe you are part of the Genjutsu?!"

"Er… I just kind of used my super-secret ninja arts on you." Marvy gave the peace sign.

"Can you let me go? I kind of need to get some oil for Vert so I can receive a prize beyond imagining…" _'I can almost taste all that ramen!'_

"Well… I'm kind of being hired to keep you away from Vert-sama you know?" Marvy beamed.

"Wait what?!"

"So yeah," Marvy stuck her tongue out. "I'm afraid the only way you are leaving here… is if you impress me!"

"Impress you?" Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"That's right!" Marvy put a finger on her cheek. "If you can land one solid hit on me… I'll let you go."

"Really, that's it?" Naruto chuckled. "Trust me FantabulousUFO… You have no idea the world of hurt I am capable of inflicting."

"MarvelousAQL but just call me Marvy," Marvy's smile never faltered. "Then let us fight!"

"I hope you don't mind that I brought an army!" Naruto called forth a group of ten clones.

"Zero multiplied by a million is still zero~" Marvy cheerfully mocked him. "It has to be you that hits me not one of your clones."

"Alright… Charge!" Naruto ordered his clones to swarm the girl who danced through them.

"Oh… Nearly!" Marvy laughed as she jumped over the top of a clone and dispelled it with a swift kick before landing in the middle of them and spinning around, her red scarf hardening and dispelling all the clones.

"Tch… Let's see you try that again!" Naruto formed several more clones who swarmed Marvy.

"Do you know the meaning of insanity?" Marvy easily dodged the attacks from the clones. "It is doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome."

"Tch," Naruto narrowed his eyes as he allowed the influx of memories from the clones to enter his head. _'No obvious weak spots. She… She is actually pretty strong… Guess it's time to do something artful.'_ "Tajuu Kage Bunshin No Jutsu!"

"Learn some new tricks!" Marvy mocked. "It's time for you to witness my secret Ninja arts! She drew her two swords igniting them in flame. "Midaresaki!" She charged the army of clones, disappearing and reappearing amongst them dispelling them with ease before launching herself back and carrying a ninja scroll and grinning. "I'm sorry… but this is good night." She rapidly formed several hand seals and several large fireballs appeared around her before screaming towards the army of clones, detonating furiously and causing a wide cloud of smoke to envelope the area. "Maybe I went too… whoops!" Marvy leaned to one side as a kunai narrowly missed her, cutting her hair. "That was…" She was cut off by a foot striking her in the face and sending her skidding across the floor. "W-what?!"

"It isn't over yet," Naruto smirked.

"I told you," Marvy pouted as she dispelled the clone. "You have to hit me not a clone." She dispelled the clone that kicked her. _'I see… He somehow disguised his clone as a weapon. It looks like he is capable of a little bit of sneaky fighting. He would make a good apprentice for my ninja arts~'_ She thought cheerfully.

"I heard you," Naruto summoned another group of clones and charged Marvy, who grinned and charged him. The clones attacked Marvy who dispelled them before focusing on the lone Naruto stood to the back.

"Time to… what?!" Marvy was sent hurtling forwards, a stinging sensation on her cheek as she skidded across the burnt wasteland of the world that Marvy had trapped Naruto in.

"Hehehe," Naruto waved.

"But… I don't understand…" Marvy blinked.

"When you were distracted by the knife clone… I created another clone and henged it into a coat. I'll admit it was a bit of a gamble."

"I don't get it."

"I had to make sure you knew that the clones dispelled into smoke when defeated." Naruto smirked. "And assume the threat had been dealt with when you felt the clone dispel."

"Oh!" Marvy' eyes lit up. "I get it now. Since I struck you and there was a poof of smoke I assumed it was a clone when it was you wearing a clone jacket! That means…"

"Yeah while you were distracted by the clone wave attack, I swapped places with a clone and then charged you from the side." Naruto looked proud with himself.

"Then you let me hit you so you would have an opening!" Marvy clapped. "That was sneaky!"

"W-well," Naruto blushed. "I _am_ a ninja. But your attacks were kind of awesome. All I have is my Rasengan and my clones… And I couldn't exactly rasengan you."

"Well a deal is a deal," Marvy clicked her fingers and suddenly Naruto and Marvy were stood in the middle of the streets in Leanbox. "I accept!"

"Er… Pardon?"

"You can be my apprentice!" Marvy gave him a thumbs up. "Await my next lesson with eagerness!"

"Right," Naruto walked away.

"Oh by the way. The shop is in the opposite direction." Marvy titled her head.

"Oh thanks."

"No thanks necessary! A master always helps her apprentice!"

"I'm not your apprentice." Naruto replied.

"There's no need to be shy apprentice!" Marvy happily followed Naruto.

[MarvelousAQL has joined the Party.] Naruto's collar happily chirped.

"See… We're in this together!"

"It's going to be one of those days," Naruto looked around. "I've lost Saya… and gained an even more troublesome person. What ever happened to those good old fashioned C-Ranks that always turned into desperate fights for my life? And when Sasuke nearly killed me… Ah… Good times." Naruto sighed as he walked along the street, tailed by his happy self-proclaimed master.

Meanwhile in Lowee

"Onee-sama!" Ram yelled as she and Rom walked into Blanc's office. "Come play with us!" There was no response from their older sister, who was furiously scribbling in a notepad with two open books in front of her. "Onee-sama!"

Blanc paused slightly in her writing before resuming as if she hadn't heard her younger sibling.

"Onee-sama!" Ram yelled louder.

"I am busy," Blanc stated bluntly. "Go away."

"Come on!" Ram crossed her arms. "Big sis has been busy all week! You should play with us!"

"I have too much on the go right now to go off gallivanting with you. Leave." Blanc turned a page in her notepad.

"We want to play with Onee-sama though," Rom quietly murmured.

"See! You made Rom-neechan sad!" Ram stamped her foot. "So just play with us."

"If you won't leave," Blanc shut the two books and notepad. "Then I will. If you need someone to play with then go and find Mina-san."

"But Mina-san is boring~" Ram pouted. "We want to play with you."

"Onee-sama has locked herself up all week," Rom nodded in agreement with her twin, "So please if not for us for your own sake… Play with us."

"I am a Goddess," Blanc remarked dryly, "I do not have the time nor energy to spend entertaining you. I have an entire nation to look after."

"Okay…" Rom looked sad.

"What if you didn't have those smelly, old books?" Ram grinned. "If you couldn't do your work then you would be able to play with us right?"

"Touch the books and I will not be held responsible for my actions," Blanc warned her siblings.

"Hehehe…" Ram grinned widely. "Twin powers activate!"

"W-what?" Blanc blinked as a sudden blast of light blinded her temporarily. She instinctively grabbed the two books which were in turn grabbed by a twin who tried to run off with the books. The end result was a blinking Blanc with each arm holding a book that was being pulled by one of the other twins. "Where… Where did you learn how to do that?" Blanc narrowed her eyes as her vision returned.

"It was in Ninja-nii-san's book!" Ram proudly declared. "There is all sorts of cool stuff in that book."

"You stole Ninja-san's book?" Blanc froze. _'What… What if he finds out and decides that he can't trust me and breaks off the engagement?!'_

"Nii-san gave it to us," Rom corrected her.

"I… I see," Blanc sighed in relief. "But still," She tugged the books hard, yanking them from the terrible twosomes grip, causing the twins to fall over.

"Nee-sama is a bully!" Ram stuck her tongue out and ran off with a teary eyed Rom close in pursuit.

"…" Blanc watched them go guiltily before starting to leave until she felt a sudden icy sensation and threw her hands into the air to protect the books. She scowled as her entire body up to her shoulders was frozen in a block of ice, leaving her head and arms free of the ice cube, the two books held aloft.

"Blanc-sama."

"…Mina?" Blanc didn't need to see her oracle's face to see that she wasn't pleased.

"As your oracle it falls upon me to point out… That you really should treat your little sisters better, they were worried about you and how do you repay them?"

"…" Blanc remained silent.

"And what was it that was so important that you neglected your own sisters?" Mina snatched one of the books. "Oh…"

"It's not like I enjoy upsetting them." Blanc mumbled. "I just… I don't know how to act around them."

"I see," Mina smiled warmly as she looked at the well-read copy of '101 ways to please Twin 10 Year old CPU candidates'. "I see… But I must admit that I doubt this book sells very well, considering you are the only person in the world who would probably buy such a book. Still there are some things that cannot be learnt in a book." Mina smiled. "Some things can only be learnt from experience. Reading is no substitute for rolling up your sleeves and playing with your sisters. That is all they really want. If it is not too much, I would advise you spend time just talking with your sisters. They look up to you."

"I'll try," Blanc scowled. "Now will you unfreeze me?"

"What's the other book I wonder," Mina took it and froze.

"…" Blanc blushed slightly and looked away from Mina.

"…That what I said about experience… Doesn't apply here." Mina coughed awkwardly and defrosted Blanc. "Focus on your sisters as if you can't be a good sister…" She couldn't finish and left hurriedly, a copy of '101 ways to Please your Lover: Ninja Edition' tucked under her arm.

Back to Naruto

"Mission accomplished!" Naruto declared proudly as he held up the bottle of massage oil.

"Well done my apprentice," Marvy nodded sagely. "Even the greatest heroes have to engage in the odd gather quest every now and again. At least it wasn't an escort quest. Those seriously suck, usually due to the poor AI of what you are escorting."

"…Sometimes I wonder if everyone is speaking a different language here," Naruto shook his head and walked down the street before pausing. "Wait… Is that…"

"What?"

"It can't be…"

"What?" Marvy tilted her head.

"It is!" Naruto suddenly started running down the street in slow motion. "Kichi!"

Just down the street a dogoo turned at a familiar voice and saw something that brought a tear to its eyes. It began ecstatically bouncing towards Naruto.

"I missed you!" Naruto held out his arms as Kichi launched himself through the air… and straight over Naruto's shoulder landing in a ramen cart and making happy slurping noise as it ate the entire contents of the vendor's crate before hopping out, belching then diving into Naruto's outstretched arms.

"So," The Vendor glared at Naruto. "You'll be paying for that then?"

"Who is this Dogoo?" Naruto dropped Kichi. "I could have sworn I saw my er… sister?"

"Nice try," The vendor pulled out a wooden club, "Are you going to pay or do I have to take payment in another way?"

"Well you see… Emergency escape technique 23!" Naruto kicked Kichi at the Vendor who bounced off of the vender's head, knocking the vendor over and sending Kichi rebounding back towards Naruto who caught the dogoo and high tailed it down the street until another familiar voice yelled out his… well alias.

"Panty Sniffer Ninja-san!"

Or at least one of them anyway.

"Street Fighter right?" Naruto paused as a dishevelled looking Tekken hobbled towards him, leaning on a wooden staff.

"You are totally doing that on purpose aren't you?" Marvy tilted her head.

"You say something SupersweetFA?"

"I'm called Tekken!" Tekken pointed at Naruto, "And I'm sorry to trouble you but…" She tossed the staff to onside. "I want to have another spar since our last one didn't really end."

"Er… I figured it was over when you achieved orbit and I…" Naruto blushed as he recalled how the fight had ended. "Er… Never mind."

"Please!" Tekken bowed deeply. "It was a quite a lot of fun!"

"…What?" Naruto blinked.

"I approve!" Marvy nodded. "As your master I recommend that you spar frequently and regularly!"

"Who the hell even asked you?!"

"Thank you oh wise and mighty master of the Ninja." Tekken bowed to Marvy.

"…Fine," Naruto cracked his knuckles. "I'll fight you again… But I'm doing it for me."

"The wheels of fate are turning," Marvy vanished in a swirl of leaves.

"Heaven or hell…" Tekken took up a fighting position.

"Let's rock!" Naruto leapt towards Tekken with a fierce punch that Tekken blocked with her arms crossed in front of her face. Even so she was sent skidding backwards a couple of feet.

"Huh," Tekken grinned approvingly. "You've gotten stronger!"

"I have?" Naruto blinked before instinctively ducking underneath a kick that soared over his head and rolled backwards as she brought her heel down, creating a small crater.

"Hai!" Tekken smiled warmly at him. "The power behind your punch was… amazing~"

"Someone call the military! The Panty Sniffer is assaulting that cute girl!" A voice cried out from the crowd surrounding the two fighters. "He is using some sort of masochism punch ability to corrupt the poor dear!"

Tekken blushed crimson and started to stammer a denial as she

"It just occurs to me that we _are_ fighting in a public place," Naruto blinked. "Maybe I should have chosen a better location…" He created several clones, "Find us an abandoned area to fight in alright?"

"Got it boss," The clones saluted and ran off in different directions.

"I'm not a masochist," The embarrassed Tekken waved her hands furiously. "I er… Just really like to train!"

"I know how you feel." Naruto nodded. "I recently went on a three-year training trip because I share your passion for getting stronger. I need to get stronger to save my brother figure."

"Wait," Marvy's voice echoed from the shadows. "Is this the same brother who you said tried to kill you?"

"Pretty much," Naruto nodded.

"He tried to kill you?" Tekken blinked confusedly.

"He kind of punched a hole in my chest with a lightning enthused punch." Naruto laughed weakly. "But if I had wanted to I could have killed him with my attack! Ah!" He suddenly paused. "There is an abandoned warehouse to the north. Let's have our spar there."

"Okay!" Tekken nodded as the two set off towards their battle site.

Leanbox SMD Headquarters

Cave sat in a chair staring at the screens that told her where her entire force was. The SMD was originally formed by Vert and the members she had chosen… well Cave had them assigned to menial chores in the Basilcom. Shortly after forming them, Vert had quickly gotten disinterested and handed the reigns to Cave, who quickly formed an elite organisation, the highest tier of the Leanbox Military might. Cave would not vocally say it very often, but she was very proud of her soldiers.

Originally when Vert had requested that Cave take Saya as a member, Cave was reluctant too. Her organisation was full of elites and Saya… Saya didn't strike her as an elite. She gave up too easily and tended to take her failures very harshly. Still apparently Vert owed her parents a favour and since unlike her adopted sister, Saya had no interest in adventuring. Cave relented and allowed Saya into her organisation.

The girl was surprisingly talented. Apparently her mother and father had taught her several fighting techniques and she could hold her own in a fight, although the moment things started to go against her she would start to lose faith and falter. Cave had tried her best to hammer it out of her but the behaviour seemed so ingrained in her that nothing short of a lobotomy would cure her of it (and Vert had rejected that request unfortunately). If there was one bright side to this depression of hers, it was that Cave could instinctively tell when she was nearby.

"Hello Saya," Cave never took her eyes off the screens before her. "I'm guessing something went wrong."

"I failed… I don't deserve to wear the same uniform as you…"

"Cave-sama!" A scratchy voice sounded from one of the screens. "We have reports that the Panty Sniffer is assaulting a girl in the abandoned Alchemist's District, near the restricted zone. They appear to heading towards Chika-sama's Research Warehouse."

"That is problematic," Cave narrowed her eyes. "Many of Chika-san's failed projects lurk in there."

"Failed projects?"

"Chika-san… has phases," Cave started off into the distance.

"Then I must apprehend Panty Sniffer-san." Saya clenched her fist. "To redeem myself!" She took off out of the control room.

"Oh, you are leaving?" Vert entered the room as Saya started to leave. "Well, be careful okay!" She put a hand on Saya's shoulder. "You are important to Cave-chan so don't go getting yourself hurt."

"R-right!" Saya bowed, "T-Thanks Vert-sama!" She beamed as she left the room, feeling as if just the gentle tap on the shoulder had filled her with the powers of her goddess.

"Good luck," Cave frowned as she looked at the map. "You will probably need it if the guardian wakes up."

To Naruto and Tekken

"Raijin Fist!" Tekken's lightning coated fist tore through a steel girder as if it were paper. "Ah! I missed!"

"Hehehe," Naruto smirked as he flanked Tekken, a clone attacking with him from every direction. "Bunshin Barrage!" The clones laid a flurry of blows against Tekken who grinned as she covered her vital areas against the onslaught.

"Bunshin barrage?" Tekken asked as the clones dispelled.

"Er…" Naruto looked embarrassed, "Well everyone else was kind of yelling out attack names and I kind of got myself caught up in the moment."

"Hehehe," Tekken smiled widely. "I am glad I met you Panty Sniffer-kun!"

"…You can just call me Ninja-san," Naruto sweat dropped as he took in the area where they had been fighting. The abandoned warehouse had several glowing vats of strange chemicals that illuminated the place. There were wrecked forklifts and various over vehicles you would expect to see in a warehouse. A large pile of scrap metal dominated the centre of the room.

"Ah sorry," Tekken bowed her head. "I didn't mean any offence. That is what you were called on the bounty poster and I just got used to saying that… Please forgive me!"

"No worries," Naruto laughed, "I've been called much worse in my time. Come on, get the frown off of your face." He grinned wildly, "And lets… Hey did you hear that?"

The two sparring partners froze as a strange mechanical noise seemed to come from the pile of scrap.

"Er…" Tekken stood beside Naruto. "That… That's just the metal cooling down right?"

"Cooling down?" Naruto shivered. "This place looks like it hasn't been used in a while. I don't think it is cooling down."

"Stop!" There was a shattering noise as a certain blonde haired maid landed between Naruto and the pile of metal. "You are trespassing on Chika-sama's private property!"

"Chika?" Naruto blinked. "Why does she own such a huge warehouse?"

"For the development of projects to further the glory of Vert-sama."

"Oh sorry!" Tekken bowed her head so quickly she became a blur. "I didn't mean to… I didn't know this was a restricted area."

"That's my fault not hers, Saya right?" Naruto crossed his arms. "Er… But you might want to move…"

"You must vacate these premises immediately." She brushed the dust from her skirt and took up SMD Intimidating Pose No 15: Arms crossed with a stern glare, guaranteed to defuse 90% of all hostile situations.

"Er…" Naruto suddenly went pale.

"Oh dear…" Tekken seemed to be unable to look at Saya and was focusing at something just over her shoulder.

' _Amazing! Cave-neesama's guide on being imposing actually works!'_ Saya beamed. _'Just look at their terrified faces!'_

" **INTRUDERS DETECTED… INTRUDERS DETECTED! SCANNING… SCANNING…"** A red laser started to run up and down Saya who slowly looked over her shoulder. " **TRACES OF VERT-SAMA-HIME ON NON-CHIKA-DONO ENTITY… CARRYING OUT PROTOCOL D13: EXTERMINATION OF ALL WHO TRY AND STAND BETWEEN VERT-SAMA-HIME AND CHIKA-DONO."**

"What the hell is that thing?!" Naruto exclaimed as he stared at the hulking metal behemoth. Whilst rusted away, the robot still stood over twenty foot tall. It was vaguely humanoid in its appearance, wires hanging loosely from the back of its head in a vague resemblance of hair. It looked vaguely familiar to Naruto. "Wait a minute… Is that… A MECHA-VERT?!"

[Mecha-Vert: A hi tech mechanical version of Green Heart. Threat Assessment: B Rank. Watch out for its giant laser spear and breast missiles.] Naruto's collar happily chirped out.

"Breast missiles?!" Naruto blinked.

" **EXTERMINATING!"** The Mecha-Vert backhanded the stunned Saya into one of the glowing vats which shattered as she flew through it, the fluorescent yellow liquid covering her as she rolled to a halt and stayed still.

"Saya?" Naruto narrowed his eyes. "Well… I suppose that proves she isn't one of my clones. They dispel after one hit," He took up a combat pose. "Looks like our spar is on hold."

"R-right!" Tekken nodded as she too took up her combat stance.

" **SCANNING… SCANNING..."** The red beams scanned Tekken. **"NO SIGN OF VERT-SAMA-HIME'S PRESENCE… EJECTING TRESSPASSER…"**

"Wait what?" Tekken blinked as she was surrounded by a sphere of light that lifted her away. "Wait! Please put me down!" She wailed as the orb took her away from Leanbox.

"Virtua Fighter!" Naruto yelled after her. "Damn it! Where did you send Tekken huh?"

" **SCANNING…SCANNING… EXCESSIVE LEVELS OF VERT-SAMA-HIME ON NON-CHIKA-DONO ENTITY! EXTERMINATE WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE!"**

"…Crap," Naruto watched as the robot glowed green and started to hover.

" **CHIKA-LOVE SPEAR!"**

"Oh hell no!" Naruto dived out of the way of the glowing spear of energy that created a reasonable sized crater where he had been standing a moment earlier. "Time to send you back to the scrap heap!" He summoned a small army of clones and charged the robot.

" **MAMARY CALAMITY!"** Mecha-Vert's breasts fired towards the swarm of clones and detonated, sending them spiralling around the room.

"Shit!" Naruto cursed as he struck a wall and fell down ungracefully. "I… hate… missiles…"

' _ **Maybe if you weren't such a sucky ninja you might be able dodge that.'**_

' _Kyuubi? You can talk to me now?!'_

' _ **Well We have been able to talk to you since we first were separated from the power that was rightfully ours. Your seal doesn't recognise us as the mighty Kyuubi that we are.'**_

' _You mean you could have talked to me at any time but chose not to?'_

' _ **Why would**_ _ **we**_ _ **waste our precious time talking to you?'**_

'… _You are talking to me now.'_

' _ **Only because our existence is tied to your own. Should you die in this world who knows what will become of our gracious self? We cannot reform properly if we are cut off from our power.'**_

' _Well… Any ideas?'_

" **MAMARY CALAMITY!"** Another pair of breasts appeared shortly before they were launched at Naruto.

"How many times can she do that?!" Naruto swapped places with a pile of scrap at the last moment, causing the missiles to strike that instead of him.

' _ **Until she runs out of SP, we would expect.'**_

' _What?'_

' _ **Urgh! This damn form is corrupting our mind! We speak of things we have no understanding of.'**_

"Alright…" Naruto charged towards the robot, leaping over the energy spears the robot hurled at him. "If I am right there is a time delay between missile uses. I just have to get close enough that she can't use them without injuring herself.

" **Green Heart-Gatling Gun!"** The robot goddess held her arms out and her hands fell down at a ninety-degree angle, revealing a minigun in each arm that unleased a blitz of green energy blasts towards Naruto.

"HOW IS THIS A THING?!" Naruto ran across the walls as the guns trailed after him, chewing up the walls. "THE DAMN COLLAR DIDN'T MENTION THIS?!"

[Hostile Data updated! Mecha-Vert has twin, rapid fire miniguns that fire focused beams of energy for maximum piercing power.]

"Little too late!" Naruto leapt to the opposite wall, watching the blasts effortless turn a steel girder into swiss cheese. "I was only supposed to be having a quick spar! And where the hell is Marvy?!"

' _ **We feel it prudent to remind you that you were recently saying you missed it when simply C ranks spiralled out of control. We do believe this is the thing you were wanting.'**_

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto launched himself from the wall and skidded between Robo-Vert's legs. "Huh, she even put on black lace underwear." He remarked as he rolled to his feet, hand held out as a clone quickly formed as Rasengan in his palm. "Rasengan!" He roared as he thrust the spiralling sphere into the leg of the machine, where the metal buckled from the attack before the entire leg was shorn off, the rusty metal no match for the A-Rank Ninjutsu.

" **COMBAT CAPABILITIES SEVERELY REDUCED. ACTIVATING SELF DESTRUCT PROCEDURE."**

"Ah crap," Naruto started to leave the warehouse before remembering Saya and quickly grapping the girl. It appeared the chemical had seeped into her skin but at a glance Naruto saw nothing wrong and quickly vacated the area, skidding to a halt as he ran into an unimpressed looking Chika, a concerned Vert and a blank faced Cave. "Er… Hi?" Naruto smiled weakly.

"Panty Sniffer-kun?" Cave raised an eyebrow. "You haven't been causing mischief have you?"

"Of course not." Naruto froze as the warehouse behind him exploded.

"…" Chika went pale. "My… My plans…"

"Er… It wasn't me?" Naruto laughed weakly.

" **HOSTILE TARGET… SURVIVED…"** The smoking head of Mecha-Vert rolled between Naruto and the others.

"Mecha-Vert?!" Chika gasped.

"She was like that when I got here," Naruto coughed before nudging the head away with his foot.

"So..." Chika twitched. "You have ruined my secret laboratory and destroyed a hi-tech Mecha-Vert. Have you managed to damage anything else whilst you've been here?!"

"No!" Naruto shook his head.

"How cute~" Vert cried out.

"Nya!"

"Eh?" Naruto and Chika turned to see Vert playing with Saya's hair, although on closer inspection it wasn't hair she was playing with.

"Cat ears?" Cave turned to Chika.

"Vert-sama is beautiful and clearly the most popular goddess," Chika coughed awkwardly. "But still some deny her superiority. But is she was a neko goddess."

"That… would be something," Naruto blushed and looked away.

"Right!" Chika put a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "I knew a pervert such as yourself would understand it!"

"Hey!" Naruto defended himself.

"Just the thought of a cat-eared, cat-tailed Vert-sama…"

"Cat-tailed?" Vert lifted Saya's skirt and pulled out a long tail.

"NYA!" Saya gasped as Vert started to rub her cheek against the tail.

"It's so soft!" Vert laughed happily.

"If Vert-sama wants a Neko little sister I can make more of that chemical!" Chika turned towards the wreckage of her lab. "Oh… This is your fault you… you… Fox faced Panty Sniffer!"

"Er…" Naruto started to back away from the angry Oracle.

"I don't care about the fallout from Lastation…" Chika cracked her knuckles.

"Kichi!" Naruto cried out as the Dogoo slipped out of Naruto's jacket. "Er… What are you wearing?"

Monkey D. Kichi stared down the angry oracle, his straw-hat resting on the top of his head. Using his natural powers of elasticity, he formed two slime hands, one which pulled Chika's shirt over her head and revealing her impressive bust. The other grabbed her skirt and panties and pulled them down revealing her shaved lower garden to Naruto. He turned to Naruto and grinned widely.

"Er…" Naruto sweat dropped as Chika adjusted her clothes with murder in her eyes.

Monkey D. Kichi sensed the danger his nakama was in. He had to do something quickly or the blonde master could get hurt! He suddenly started giving off steam and vibrating before launching an all-out assault on Vert's clothes, tearing them from her body.

"Oh my?" Vert smiled at Naruto. "If you wanted to see them, you only had to ask." She pushed her exposed breasts together.

Naruto and Chika looked at her breasts and then each other, before nodding and passing out with goofy grins and a trickle of blood from their noses.

"Oh dear," Vert continued to play with Saya's ears and tail, earning erotic gasps and cries of "Vert-sama… Nyo~", "It looks like Ninja-san is a fan of these," She paused her stroking of Saya to indicate her breasts.

"I shall be sure to note this in the report you are having me write. Shall I send what I have so far to Noire-san?"

"Noire?" Vert looked confused. "That report wasn't for Noire."

"I… Then who was it for?"

"Why Blanc-chan of course," Vert smiled.

"…Ah." Cave glanced at the unconscious oracle and Ninja. "Maybe we should take them back home."

"I'll get Ninja-san!" Vert happily picked up Naruto and headed home, pausing only to adjust what remained of her clothes.

"I suppose that leaves me with you," Cave picked Chika's leg and walked, dragging the blissfully unconscious oracle behind her. There were two ways to the Basilcom from here. One involved going up a gently slope then across a soft garden field. The other involved going down some old stone steps, across an alleyway that was littered with broken glass and back up some more hard stone steps. "I suppose I should take the ramp rather than the stairs… But the ramp is an extra five steps away. I should complete my assigned task with all due haste." Cave smiled slightly as she walked down the stairs.

"Vert-sama~… Ouch!... Oh don't hit me so hard master~ Ouch... That hurt… But it felt a little good too~ Ouch!" Chika mumbled in her sleep as Cave dragged her down the stairs.

Back in Lastation

"He loves me," Noire mumbled as picked the petals from the flower on her desk. "He loves me not; he loves me… He loves me not…"

"Is Onee-sama okay?" Uni whispered as she peered through the doorway at her sister.

"Hmm… It appears she is missing Uzumaki-san." Kei whispered back. The two of them had been watching Noire all day.

At breakfast she had barely eaten anything, stating that she wasn't hungry. During their daily summary of events, she barely seemed to be paying attention. Kei had placed several documents on her desk. Usually they would have been finished within ten minutes. It was now three hours later and Noire had yet to even open the first file.

"What can we do?" Uni asked.

"There is nothing we can do." Kei shook her head. "Noire-sama promised not to interfere with Vert's time with Uzumaki-san."

"Wait… I have an idea!" Uni beamed. "Onee-sama."

"Uni?" Noire quickly hid the flower under her desk. "Can I help you?"

"Please call Vert."

"Er… Why?"

"Please," Uni bowed her head.

"Alright?" Noire turned to the large screen in her office and fished a remote out of her desk, playing with it until a confused looking Vert appeared on the screen, wearing a dressing gown.

"Hello Noire-chan," Vert smiled. "I wasn't expecting a call from you."

"It was on my behalf," Uni stepped forward.

"Oh?" Vert smiled widely at the younger sister. "Well how can I help Noire-chan?"

"I was wondering if you had met Uzumaki-san."

"Uzumaki-san?" Vert looked confused. "Who is that?"

"Oh if you haven't met them never mind. Sorry to waste your time."

"Not a problem," Vert smiled. "Ah! It appears that Ninja-san is waking up."

"Waking up at this time?" Noire blinked.

"Ah he had a little accident earlier today."

"Is he alright?!" Noire suddenly shot up. "I am on my way!"

"He is fine," Vert assured her. "Although I must admit I am surprised to see you so worried for him."

"W-what?!" Noire blushed. "I'm not worried about him! Well… I am but only because he is a valuable Lastation asset! You break him you bought him!"

"Is that so?" Vert's eyes sparkled with mischief. "Maybe I should break him so I get to keep him~"

"What?! No!" Noire slammed her hands down on the desk angrily.

"My, my, you are so cute when you are all wound up Noire-chan," Vert laughed gently. "Don't worry I will not harm Ninja-san. If Ninja-san decides he would rather stay here though…"

"I know about the rule," Noire mumbled.

"Good! See you later." Vert ended the call.

"She is so sure that Ninja-san is going to stay with her…" Noire started to bite her fingernails anxiously.

"Uzumaki-san will be back," Uni assured her big sister.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because he hasn't told her his family name."

"You… You're right!" Noire brightened up. "Because he doesn't like her as much as he likes me! He must really like me!"

"You seem awfully happy about that Noire-sama," Kei remarked dryly.

"W-what?" Noire seemed to notice her oracle for the first time. "I… That is to say…" She looked away, "Isn't it natural to be happy when you come across such a valuable resource? I'm just thinking how easy it will be to knock Planeptune off the top of the technology race when I have unlimited man power on my side!"

"As you say Noire-sama," Kei smiled as she and Uni made their way out.

Noire watched them go and waited until she was sure they had gone before taking the flower out of the drawer under her desk and continuing. "He loves me… He loves me not… He loves me…" Noire looked at the fully de-petalled flower. "He loves me." She smiled widely and started to do her work, unaware of the bemused eyes of Uni and Kei peering through the door.

Back to Naruto

"So let me get this straight," Cave blinked. "You were in that warehouse because you needed a place to spar?" She looked over the report at a guilty looking Naruto. Despite Vert's insistence that nothing bad happened so they should all forget about it, Saya was determined to make an issue of it thanks to her new tail and ears that, according to a certain Vert-obsessed oracle, were now permanent. It was the reason that she never used it on Vert. As an official complaint had been made, Cave had no choice but to follow it up since Chika had approved the complaint for investigation.

Usually Cave would have just given a written warning but Chika was actually sat with her so she had no choice but to go through the motions.

"That's right," Naruto nodded. "I didn't realise that it was guarded as my clone dispelled itself before searching the room thoroughly.

"I see," Cave sat back in her chair. "Can you describe this sparring partner."

"I can do better than that," Naruto formed a hand sign. "Henge!"

"That is impressive," Cave blinked.

"Thanks!" 'Tekken' smiled.

"Is that just an illusion?" Chika raised an eyebrow.

"Well," Naruto reappeared in a puff of smoke. "It is supposed to be…"

"Supposed to be?"

"When I do it…" Naruto rubbed the back of his head, "It is an actual solid transformation."

"I'm sorry…" Chika looked serious. "Are you telling me that you can turn into a perfect replica of another person."

"Pretty much yes. Of course I'd have to know how they act to truly impersonate them but…"

"Do you know what this means?" Chika glanced at Cave.

"Of course." Cave scowled. _'With such a skill he could replace anyone and get away with it… This is very dangerous…'_

"This means… My dream can come true."

"What?"

"I can sleep in a Vert sandwich!" Chika's eyes sparkled.

"… Moving on," Cave glanced at the report.

"Screw the report!" Chika declared. "Show me your Vert transformation!"

"Er.. Sure." Naruto henged again.

"Amazing…" Chika blinked.

"Er… Can I change back now?" 'Vert' asked.

"Wait! Say… Say… Chika-chan's been a bad girl!"

"Chika-chan's been a bad girl?"

"No! Say it like Vert would!"

"Chika-chan's been a bad girl~"

"Gargh!" Chika staggered back as if struck. "This power… I understand now why Vert-sama wants you to stay so badly!"

"I seriously doubt that," Cave remarked dryly.

"Let me see…" Chika groped 'Vert', "Amazing… these breasts feel just like the real thing!"

"Ah~" 'Vert' gasped. "Don't do that!"

"You… You can feel that?!" Chika started panting like an old man. "Now~ Let me see just how well you have replicated Vert-sama."

"How do you mean?" 'Vert' took a step back covering himself.

"I need to test you… Inside and out~"

"W-what…" 'Vert' was cut off by a deep kiss from Chika.

' _This… actually feels kind of good…'_ 'Vert' eased into the kiss, allowing Chika's tongue to duel with his own. Chika's hand slowly traced down 'Vert's' stomach and continued heading south. _'Wait a minute!'_ He pushed Chika away. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING?! Sticking your fingers there!"

"What?" Chika licked her fingers clean. "Amazing… You even taste like Vert-sama. You are the perfect copy. Come… Let me test it more thoroughly!" She panted lustfully.

"Cave! A little help here?"

"I'm not paid enough to deal with this," Cave left the room, "Besides she outranks me."

"Come to Chika~" Chika advanced on Naruto making groping motions.

"Wait!" Naruto dispelled the henge. "See I'm not Vert anymore!"

"I have all sorts of inventions that will make you my willing slave~" Chika was a woman possessed, too lost in a dream world of Vert to realise what was actually going on.

"I have no choice," Naruto formed a familiar hand seal. "But to use my ultimate trump card! Vert Harem No Jutsu!" He called out and several Vert shadow clones appeared, naked and posing seductively before Chika who was stunned by the sight.

"I'm out of here!" Naruto raced past the stunned oracle and into Vert who was waiting outside the office.

"Oh!" Vert smiled. "Are you ready for your reward?" She smiled.

"Er…" Naruto suddenly froze in horror.

"Ninja-san?"

"THEY ARE THE SAME INSIDE AS VERT-SAMA!" Chika's delighted cry echoed in the hallway. "I need more Vert-sama clones!"

"…I think I need some brain bleach," Naruto whimpered as Vert lead him towards their shared bed.

"There, there," Vert softly ruffled his head. "Do you know what might make you feel better?"

"What?"

"Here kitty, kitty!" Vert called out in a baby talk sounding voice.

"…You summoned me Vert-sama?" Saya appeared before them, down on one knee.

"You let her call you that?" Naruto blinked.

"I tried to get her to stop but couldn't so I just gave up," Saya mumbled.

"Play with her ears!" Vert beamed. "It is really therapeutic!"

"Vert-sama! Not so rough~" Saya gasped as Vert nibbled on her ear.

"I think I want to go home now," Naruto sighed.

Back to the Naruto-verse

"Huh?" Jiraiya suddenly looked up. "Why do I have the strange urge to give Naruto a smack around the back of his head?"

"…Are you finally succumbing to your old age and going senile?"

"You are one to talk Orochimaru," Jiraiya turned back to his one-time teammate. The two were sat in one of Orochimaru's bases.

"Unlike someone, I age like a fine wine," Orochimaru smirked. "So to what do I owe this unexpected pleasure? Here to kill me and avenge sensei?"

"…Don't tempt me," Jiraiya growled. "But there is something you can do that I need you to do for me."

"Is this to revive Minato's son?"

"Maybe," Jiraiya scowled.

"Well I will save you the effort of asking," Orochimaru brushed some dirt from his robe. "I was already contacted by an interested party who wished to have Naruto Uzumaki and the Kyuubi returned to this plane of existence. The Impure resurrection failed."

"I don't understand…"

"Naruto Uzumaki is not dead." Orochimaru clarified, "Or his soul is beyond my grasp."

"How could that be?"

"If he was sealed inside the Shinnagami's stomach he would be beyond my reach." Orochimaru shook his head. "I do not know what happened to him."

"I see," Jiraiya smirked. "So that brat survived? I wonder… Did he manage to make it to another dimension?"

"Dimension hopping?" Orochimaru scoffed. "You sound like that idiot apprentice of yours."

"Naruto?"

"I meant the first one," Orochimaru sighed testily. "He was always rabbiting on about his theories to me. The disadvantage of being the only intellectual in the entire village I suppose. Gave me some prototype seal designs and asked for my input." He handed a folder to Jiraiya, "I never bothered but those are what he left me."

"Why are you helping me?" Jiraiya asked.

"Simple," Orochimaru smirked. "Because you have something I want."

"W-what?"

"And I won't stop until I get it."

"You are not taking my anal virginity!"

"…What?" Orochimaru blinked. "I didn't…"

"I do not swing that way! Now good day to you, sir!"

"But I…"

"I said, Good Day!" He stormed out.

"But I meant… Oh… I see…" Orochimaru blinked. "Well played Jiraiya." He sighed. "How many times did I fall for that when we were still Genin?" He laughed wistfully, "How times change old friend." He got up and rubbed his forehead. "I will get the new seal layout protecting Konoha from you another day. Konoha will burn Jiraiya. I have seen it." Orochimaru left the room, unaware of a pair of red eyes following his every move.


	6. Valentine Omake

Hero of Dimensions

A/N: Hey everyone i hope you all love this valentine special please read and review review and review and happy late valentines day

Disclaimer: first chapter

Mini-Chapter: Valentine Edition

"Ah. I slept like a log," Naruto sighed happily as he rolled out of his bed. His cell was starting to look more and more like an actual room. His large comfy bed, his table and wardrobe. They had even extended his cell so that he could have a proper bath installed. He glanced at the dog basket to see a happily snoozing Kichi on top of what looked like his breakfast. "Really? Come on Kichi!" Naruto sighed before checking his clock. "Wait a second. Breakfast shouldn't have been delivered yet." He narrowed his eyes. "Hey guards?" He called out.

There was no response.

"Strange, where is everybody?" Naruto opened his cell and looked around. Whilst the other cells were usually unoccupied, there was always at least on guard patrolling (Usually the one who messed up the most the previous day) but today there was no one save him and Kichi. "Strange." Naruto made his way through the hallways towards Noire's office, only to find this too was completely abandoned. "I've got a bad feeling." Naruto bit his lip as he walked over to Noire's desk. "There is work in her in tray. She would never leave work unfinished before leaving this office." Naruto's musing was cut short by his stomach. "Ah… Guess I'm kind of hungry. Maybe some in the kitchens knows where everyone is." He remarked.

On his way to the kitchens he could hear a faint chattering that was gradually getting louder and when he opened the doors to the large kitchen, he suddenly discovered where everyone else was. The guards were all running around like headless chickens carrying boxes and bowls. He walked over to the nearest guard who seemed to be freaking out.

"Oh no. It's burnt!" She wailed. "I can't give Noire-sama this!"

"Is something going on here?" Naruto asked.

"Oh it's the Perverted Ninja," The guard glanced at him. "Don't bother me! I only have another 16 hours to make the perfect chocolate for Noire-sama!"

"Eh?" Naruto blinked.

"It's Valentine's day!" The guard sighed. "Don't you understand?!"

"Not really," Naruto admitted but the guard merely scoffed and tossed aside a perfectly good chocolate heart and started to melt some more chocolate in a pan. "Okay?" He walked around, bemused by the fact that every single surface was covered in some sort of chocolate creation. One of the guards had created a life-size Noire out of chocolate but started to smash it up, crying tears when she realised the breasts were half an inch too small. "Valentine's is serious business," Naruto thought aloud as he made his way to the private kitchen at the far end. Only Noire, Kei and Uni had access to this kitchen so Naruto felt vaguely confident that he would be able to make himself some breakfast, then solve the mystery of where Noire and the others were. As he pushed open the door her found himself face to face with a horrified looking Noire. She was wearing an apron that had smeared chocolate on it and she had a smudge on her cheek.

"W-w-what are you doing here?!" Noire demanded, standing between Naruto and her creation.

"Me? I was going to make myself some breakfast," Naruto tried to peer over her shoulder, "What are you doing here?"

"It's none of your business!" Noire crossed her arms.

"Are you making Valentine's chocolates?" Naruto raised his eyebrows.

"Maybe," Noire scoffed. "I am making obligation chocolates for Kei and Uni. All the workstations are in use so here," Noire handed him some money. "Get yourself a meal outside!"

"Fair enough," Naruto shrugged. "I guess I'll leave you to it."

"F-fine," Noire made sure that Naruto never saw the heart chocolate she had been trying to make, watching as he left the room before turning back to her chocolate with a sad sigh. It was burnt and badly misshapen. "I can't give this to him…"

"Ohayo!"

"Neptune?!" Noire nearly jumped out of her skin. "What are you doing here?!"

"It's Valentine's day! I have to give my bestest buddy (outside Planeptune and not including Not Jiraiya-san) chocolates!" Neptune handed over a small box which had a chocolate heart saying 'Best Friends Forever!' on it.

"T-thanks," Noire reluctantly accepted the chocolate, "What?"

"Oh come on Noire," Neptune elbowed her. "Don't say you haven't got anything for me~"

"Here," She handed the failed chocolate she had made for Naruto, "Enjoy."

"Let me see," Neptune looked at the chocolate. "Thank you? Oh Noire-chan!" Neptune hugged Noire. "You don't need to thank me for brightening up your otherwise boring life!" Neptune took a big bite and froze. "I think I see the River Styx…"

"Is it that bad?"

"Not really," Neptune happily finished the chocolate. "Could be better mind. It was almost as if there were mixed feelings going into that chocolate. Like there was something else you wanted to say? Hmmm~"

"Something else I wanted to say?" Noire frowned as she started to whisk some melted chocolate. "I don't get it."

"Ah you will young grasshopper." Neptune nodded sagely. "Hey where is Not Jiraiya-san?"

"Why do you want to know?" Noire narrowed her eyes.

"Isn't it obvious," She smiled. "I have his valentine's chocolate!"

"It's just an obligation one right?"

"Of course not!" Neptune laughed, "This chocolate contains all my feelings for Not Jiraiya-san. I am sure once he receives them he will definitely come back to Planeptune with me!"

"Like hell he will," Noire narrowed her eyes. "He won't leave me!"

"Why do you care?"

"Because he is a very valuable member of my team," Noire replied evasively.

"Uhuh." Neptune's knowing look irritated Noire.

"If you are finished please return to Planeptune."

"Aw don't be like that!" Neptune laughed. "Besides Nepgear has to give her Valentine's presents to Uni-chan."

"Nepgear made Uni some chocolates?"

"…She got her a present." Neptune smiled.

To The Sisters.

Uni frowned as she looked at her chocolates. She had made a small heart for Kei to show her appreciation for her hard work as well as a slightly large one of her big sister. She glanced at the two other large hearts she had made, one had a picture of Nepgear in a heart but the other was blank. She twirled the pink icing in her hand as she tried to figure out what to write.

"You look so cute when you are thoughtful," Nepgear wrapped her arms around Uni resulting in a surprised squeak from the Black Sister.

"Gege?" Uni relaxed into her hug.

"Is that for me?" Nepgear asked.

"Ah… They're not finished!" Uni protested as Nepgear ate one of them.

"Delicious." Nepgear smiled. "But who is the other for? It looks as big as mine was."

"Er… well…"

"Is it for Not Jiraiya-san?"

"It's just an obligation chocolate," Uni protested.

"Then why don't you just write something simple down like 'Thanks for your help.'"

"I could but…" Uni fiddled idly.

"You don't think that covers exactly how you feel?"

"No," Uni admitted. "I mean… It's not like I love him or anything but he is kind of important to me you know?"

"I know, I too found it hard on what to put on my valentine's chocolates for him." Nepgear smiled. "In the end I simply put down 'Thank you for putting up with my sister and I hope we get to spend more time together in the future.'"

"Isn't that kind of long for a chocolate heart."

"It was a struggle to fit it in yes," Nepgear nodded. "But after all that Ninja-san has done for me it is the least I could do!"

"You're right." Uni nodded as she wrote a message on her chocolate heart. "Do you think that is good enough?"

"I kind of like you so don't leave us." Nepgear read aloud. "I think that would be fine."

"Er…" Uni looked embarrassed.

"Yes?"

"I was wondering… Where is my valentine's chocolate?"

"Right here," Nepgear pulled out a small tube of chocolate flavoured lipstick and put it on.

"N-Nepgear!" Uni blushed furiously. "What if someone sees?"

"I don't mind." Nepgear leaned forward and gave Uni a deep kiss, which the Black Sister leaned into and closed her eyes. After a few moments they broke apart with deep blushes.. "Happy Valentine's Day."

"Y-yeah," Uni mumbled. "H-how long are you going to be here?"

"A few hours at least," Nepgear smiled.

"S-say," Uni looked away. "M-Maybe you'd like to take a break?"

"A break?"

"I mean… You must be quite tired after the journey here. Maybe you'd like to rest… in my room."

"I'd love to!" Nepgear hugged Uni earned an eep of surprise from the other girl.

"G-great," Uni smiled and lead Nepgear to her room.

To Naruto

"Wow this valentine's day thing must be pretty big," Naruto remarked as he walked through the streets. Everywhere were pink hearts and couples walking around arm in arm. "I could do without the pitying looks though," Naruto mumbled as another couple flashed him a sad look before carrying on their date.

"Hey!" He walked over to a merchant.

"It's you!" The merchant pointed at him. "After your Dogoo ate all of my food I was forced to move into the chocolate business!"

"Oh hi," Naruto smiled weakly. "So you don't have any ramen then?"

"Of course not! Chocolate and ramen?! Are you mad?"

"Just hungry," Naruto sighed.

"Ah, I get it," The merchant nodded, "You haven't received any valentine's chocolates?"

"Nope," Naruto tilted his head. "I don't see what the fuss is though."

"The fuss? To receive a chocolate from a girl means they like you!"

"Wait what?!"

"It is a confession of their pure love and a symbol of their eternal affection! Or they could just be obligation chocolates that are kind of 'Thank you' gesture."

"I see," Naruto felt a little sad that Noire hadn't given him any chocolate but shrugged it off. After all he was planning to leave and she didn't know his name yet (beyond his family name) so he could understand it. "Well do you have any breakfast chocolate?"

"Breakfast chocolate?" The Merchant looked thoughtful.

"Save your money Ninja-san!"

"G-G-Green Heart-sama?" The merchant gasped.

"Vert?" Naruto span around and stared at the smiling Leanbox Goddess who was accompanied by her Oracle Chika and a largely disinterested Cave. "What are you doing here?"

"Why isn't it obvious," She reached around in her cleavage and pulled out a small love heart shaped chocolate, "For you."

"For me?" Naruto blinked.

"For him?!" The merchant wept. "Why is the world so cruel?!"

"Thanks," Naruto happily accepted the chocolate. "I er… I don't have anything to give you back though… "

"You don't give anything back until White Day," The merchant informed him.

"I don't need a chocolate in return," Vert smiled. "In fact… All I want is you."

"Eh?"

"Come back and play with me in Leanbox!" Vert clapped. "It will be so much fun."

"I'll think about it."

"That wasn't a no!" Vert looked pumped up. "Well I'll see you later~ I have to inform Noire to pack your things~"

"Er… I didn't say yes," Naruto watched as Vert happily skipped away. Cave following her. Chika held back and reached into a pocket pulling out a small selection box of chocolates.

"Here," Chika thrust the box towards him. "You can have these under one condition."

"Oh?" Naruto took the chocolates.

"You transform into Vert."

"That doesn't sound too bad."

"And we eat them together."

"Okay."

"Naked."

"…."

"In a bath full of melted chocolate."

"Should have seen this coming."

"Cleaning each other with our tongues…" Chika started panting.

"Nice to see you again Chika," Naruto left the day dreaming Chika and walked along, unwrapping the small heart and smiling at the icing drawing of Vert and him playing on a console. "Thank you Vert." He smiled as he ate the chocolate. "I think I kind of get it. It is nice to receive chocolates." He glanced at Chika's chocolates, "I might want to get those tested for some sort of love potion before I eat them." He chuckled.

"Ninja Nii-san!" A boisterous voice called out as two twins ran up to Naruto and hugged his legs.

"Oh hey there, Rom and Ram. How are you two?"

"We are learning your ninja tricks!" Ram declared whilst Rom shyly nodded.

"Oh in that book I gave you?" Naruto smiled. "Glad to hear you are keeping busy."

"Hehe," Ram beamed. "Hey! We made you chocolates!" The two twins held out a small chocolate. "Let's play together more often!"

"Deal," Naruto ruffled their twins' hair affectionately. "And if you are here…" He suddenly went pale as he saw Blanc pulling along a crate with a large box on it. "Blanc?"

"Happy Valentine's." Blanc pushed the box to Naruto.

"That's for me?!" Naruto blinked.

"It's a life size chocolate model of Onee-sama!" Ram declared. "We helped!"

"Really?" Naruto opened the box and choked back a snort of laughter.

"Do you like…" Blanc asked shyly, freezing when she saw the face. "Rom… Ram… WHAT THE HELL?!" Her eyes glowed red and an expression of murderous rage covered her face.

"See! The chocolate Blanc looks just like Onee-sama!" Ram declared as the twins took off, a demonic faced Blanc chasing after them.

"Oh my," Mina, Blanc's oracle stepped from behind the statue. "It appears as if Blanc and the twins are playing. How inconsiderate of them."

"I don't mind, I like seeing Blanc happy like that."

"Happy?" Mina blinked.

"I WILL END YOU! DID THUNDER TITS PUT YOU UP TO THIS!? I'LL FUCKING KILL HER!"

"Well… maybe lively would be a better term." Naruto chuckled as he looked at the chocolate Blanc. "Still… I have to admit that is quite the impressive chocolate piece."

"Blanc-sama wishes to inform you that the clothes are a sort of edible silk and everything is anatomically consistent."

"…Okay?"

"She knows the two of you are held apart by the cruel whims of Noire-san and hopes that you use the body to satisfy your longing for her."

"Thanks… I guess?" Naruto laughed weakly.

"I shall take this to your house," Mina bowed.

"Oh I don't have a house, I kind of live in a pimped out cell."

"I see…" Mina seemed to be taking mental notes. _'Blanc-sama could use that information… If I can get her to stop trying to kill or maim her sisters. An Oracle's duty is never easy.'_ "Until we meet again." She bowed her head softly.

"If they leave that in my room, Kichi is probably going to eat it all." Naruto mused. "Oh well… Not like I'd be able to eat it all."

Later on That Day

Naruto sighed as he walked back to the Basilcom. Most places he had tried to eat at were packed with couples and the ones that weren't were too expensive for the money Noire had provided him with. Still it wasn't a complete bust. He had eaten Vert, Rom and Ram's chocolates and they were quite nice.

"Ah! Mr Ninja!"

"Compa?" Naruto turned at the familiar voice. "And Iffy."

"Hey," IF nodded. "It seems everyone is in Lastation this Valentines."

"Why are you here?" Naruto asked.

"I had a bounty to collect some flowers for someone's date," IF rolled her shoulders. "I've just cashed it in. Compa-chan was helping me out."

"Ah," Compa pulled out an expensive looking box of chocolates, "This was our reward. Would you like to share them with us?"

"Thanks," Naruto nodded and the group wandered over to a small picnic area and sat down. "Neptune's here as well."

"Yeah I know." IF sighed. "She was bugging me to make some chocolates to give to you to try and convince you to come to Planeptune."

"I see," Naruto laughed. "It seems there is quite a lot of that going on."

"And Mr Ninja isn't tempted to leave here?" Compa asked.

"No…" Naruto smiled distantly. "I mean I kind of like it here. At first Noire was a bit of a…. well bitch I suppose. She would shock me for no reason but she hasn't done that in a good few weeks. Hell my sentence is currently at ten years! Plus… I think she is kind of lonely."

"Nepnep thinks the same," Compa nodded.

"I see," IF smiled wryly. "Well I guess she is kind of a cute goddess, though personally I would have chosen Vert."

"Wait what?" Naruto blinked.

"Now, now Iffy. Love is blind." Compa added.

"Love? W-w-what?!" Naruto shook his head furiously. "I don't love Noire I love Sakura!"

"Who is Sakura?" IF asked.

"Oh she is a girl back home. She is so beautiful although she has a bit of a temper and a mean right hook… And she kind of likes someone else but I will win here over!" Naruto looked pumped up.

"If you can get back home," IF pointed out.

"If?"

"It isn't a sure thing," IF stood up and brushed the grass from her jacket. "I don't wish to dishearten you but… Maybe you should start to consider what you will do if you can't get back home."

"I have to get back, Noire is counting on me."

"Noire?"

"I meant Sakura!" Naruto quickly corrected himself. "I have to go do something!" He quickly fled.

"Boys," IF sighed.

"Oh he left before we could give him his Valentine's chocolates!" Compa sighed.

"I get the feeling he will have no shortage of chocolates."

With Naruto

Naruto scowled as he headed back to his room. _'I do love Sakura but… More and more I find myself thinking about Noire… What the hell is wrong with me?'_

' _ **How long have you got?'**_

' _Oh you are talking to me again then?'_

' _ **I struggle to see what your problem is. Let's be perfectly honest for a moment; After all the blood you have spilt (mostly your own) in defence of the village, how much respect has that gotten you?'**_

' _I am fairly popular back home…'_

' _ **Yet here you have four literal goddesses fighting over you. I don't think Konoha can even compare to here.'**_

' _I'm surprised you are being so helpful.'_

' _ **Well someone has to get the plot to move along…. DAMN IT! It's happening again!'**_

'… _Are you okay?'_ Naruto was pulled out of his thoughts by a large fly buzzing near his ear. He smirked and caught the fly between his hands.

"HEY LET ME OUT OF HERE!"

"Huh?" Naruto opened his palm to see a small blonde fairy glaring at him. "Oh… I thought you were a bug."

"A bug? My name is Histoire! Oracle of Planeptune."

"Oh… You have my condolences."

"I get that a lot," Histoire adjusted her small hat. "And you must be the mysterious Not Jiraiya-san."

"You know about me?"

"Neptune is rather fond of you," She sat in Naruto's palm.

"You are considerably less scary than Neptune would have me believe."

"I see…" Histoire looked thoughtful. "Have you seen her recently? She vanished and has a lot of work to do today."

"I haven't seen here yet," Naruto shook his head.

"I see." Histoire flew onto his shoulder. "Given that Neptune will be looking for you I suppose it makes sense to travel with you."

"Sure, just an advance warning. If you start saying 'Hey Listen' I will be forced to kill you."

"I see you are settling into Gamindustri well," Histoire remarked.

"Eh?"

"You too are making references."

"References?"

"You don't even realise that you are doing it do you?" Histoire sighed. "I suppose that's to be expected."

Before Naruto could speak he heard a familiar voice call his alias.

"Not Jiraiya-san!" Neptune walked up to him waving energetically. "'I've been looking for you!"

"There you are!" Histoire stood up angrily on Naruto's shoulder. "I've been looking for you everywhere!"

"Uh oh," Neptune laughed weakly. "Hey Histy! What a surprise! I would have thought you would be back in Planeptune working."

"You mean doing your work?" The fairy tapped a foot angrily.

"Well isn't that your job?" Neptune looked horrified. "I would have never expected you to skip work! I am greatly disappointed!"

"But it is your job!" Histoire sighed.

"I can't pretend to understand what work you have to do as a goddess but Noire always seems quite busy so maybe Histoire needs your help with the work," Naruto suggested.

"Oh hoh!" Neptune grinned. "Does Histy-chan need Neptune's help?"

"What kind of development is this?!" Histoire exclaimed. "If you did your job my life would be so much easier. I envy Kei."

"I thank you Oracle Histoire."

"Oracle Kei?" Histoire peered through Naruto's blonde locks.

"A present," Kei presented a box to Naruto.

"Oh a Valentine's chocolate?" Naruto opened the box and blinked. "Er… Thanks I guess?" He pulled out a vouched that said '-5 Years to your Sentence'."

"I had assumed that this would be more valuable to you that chocolate," Kei raised an eyebrow.

"Oh don't get me wrong I really appreciate it," Naruto laughed weakly. "I was just… kind of curious as to what a chocolate made by Kei would taste like."

"I see… In that case a transaction is required." Kei remarked bluntly. "I will provide you with a single chocolate and I expect reimbursement at the proper time."

"Er?"

"She basically wants you to give her a homemade chocolate when it is white day." Histoire translated.

"Why do all the Lastation girls seem to struggle saying what they mean?" Neptune sighed. "I mean Noire is quite clearly my besty for life but she always seems reluctant to admit it! I'll never get all this Tsundere stuff."

"I am not a Tsundere," Kei remarked. "I am just ensuring that I take part in an equivalent trade."

"I'd take a Tsundere over you any day. Maybe I should swap you for Uni-chan?" Histoire remarked.

"Aw Histy-chan! Don't be mean!" Neptune pouted. "You'd miss me if I was gone!"

"I would be able to rest knowing that someone wasn't trying to steal my underwear!" Histoire replied.

"Stealing underwear?" Kei raised an eyebrow.

"Not for my use!" Neptune looked horrified. "They were for Panty Sniffer-kun!"

"Oh that's better…" Naruto nodded. "Wait… No it isn't!"

"Aw we all know you like them!" Neptune smiled. "If you didn't you would ask us to stop sending them!"

"Wait stop sending them? I've never received any." Naruto blinked and glanced at Kei.

"Noire-sama instructed me to intercept any packages from Planeptune." Kei coughed awkwardly.

"Don't be disappointed," Neptune laughed and patted Naruto on the back. "Besides I've got your valentines chocolate!"

"Really?" Naruto brightened up then froze.

"Neptune!" Histoire cried out.

"What?" She smirked. "You don't like it?"

"Er…" Naruto wasn't entirely sure how to respond. Neptune had lifted her dress to reveal her underwear which was a pair of chocolate panties with a love heart with an icing Naruto and Neptune hugging.

"Don't you want a taste?" Neptune winked.

"Seriously?" Histoire rubbed her temples. "Want to trade goddesses?"

"Unfortunately not," Kei bowed her head slightly.

"Here you go!" Neptune removed the chocolate underwear to reveal she was wearing underwear beneath it. "Oh? Disappointed?" With her free hand she pulled the underwear off.

"NEPTUNE!"

"Oh take a chill pill Histy," Neptune handed both her underwear and the chocolate ones to Naruto. "Remember equal trade! I want some your worn underwear for white day!"

"Ahahaha," Naruto laughed weakly.

"So… You going to eat them?" Neptune looked eager. "I made them myself!"

"Really?" Naruto glanced at the chocolate panties, "I guess it would be rude not to." He took a bite. "Hey… These are pretty good! Naruto finished them. "Thanks Nep-chan."

"No worries!" Neptune gave him a thumbs up. "Come back to Planeptune with me! We'd have so much fun."

"As much as I'd like that unfortunately I still have my debt to Noire to repay and after I've done I want to go back to my own dimension."

"Why?" Neptune asked.

"Why? It's my home." Naruto pointed out.

"Well aren't you at home here?" Neptune looked a little upset.

"Well…" Naruto frowned. "It isn't that I don't like you guys."

"Is there someone back home?"

"…Yes…" Naruto nodded.

"Does she love you?"

"Er… Not yet but she will!"

"Ninja-san," Neptune grabbed his hands. "If you stay I'll love you forever!"

"W-w-what?!" Naruto blushed at her intense expression.

"Do you like flat girls? I can be flat. You like big breasted girls?" She transformed into Purple Heart. "I can be whatever you want me to be."

"I don't want you to change for me," Naruto smiled. "You are fine as you are."

"Aww…" Neptune transformed back into her usual form. "Well… I'm really flattered you think that… You know you are pretty good too! As the heroine of this story I am definitely focusing on levelling up my relationship with you over everyone else! Let's work towards maxing out your lily rank!"

"Thanks?" Naruto rubbed the back of his head, no idea what the energetic goddess was talking about.

"So come back with me! It will be awesome!" Neptune declared.

"Enough! I have let you give him his chocolate now you really have to get back to Planetpune."

"I'll even give you a taster of the Planetpune hidden pleasure bonus!"

"Wait what?"

Neptune grabbed Histoire in one swift movement and before anyone could react, shoved her into Naruto's boxers.

"Let me out of here!" Histoire cried. "Oh no… It's getting bigger! Stop it!"

"Well stop touching it!" Naruto thrust his hands down his boxers.

"Er… Am I interrupting something?" Noire walked up to the group to see an unimpressed Kei, a grinning Neptune and a flustered Naruto with one hand down his pants and the other holding a pair of Neptune's panties. "…I'm going to give you ten seconds to explain."

"Ninja-san has Histoire in his pants," Kei explained. "And Neptune gave him the panties as a valentines present."

"I see… Well… If you like Neptune and Histoire so much maybe you should go back to Planeptune with them!" Noire yelled and ran away, tears in her eyes for reasons she couldn't fathom.

"Bwah!" A blushing Histoire's head popped out of his boxers with twirls in her eyes. "The smell… It's everywhere…"

"Excuse me," Kei plucked the dizzy oracle from Naruto's trousers. "I do believe you should go after her."

"R-right," Naruto nodded and chased after the fleeing Noire.

"We should be going home. I'll need a wash to get the smell out of my… everywhere." Histoire turned to her goddess.

"Don't worry about that," Neptune remarked. "I'll just put you in a washing machine."

"Like hell you will!" Histy angrily retorted. "Wait… Where are you going now?"

"I have to explain what happened to Noire-chan! I can't let my two besties fall out with each other!" Neptune declared.

"Pardon?" Kei raised an eyebrow.

"I know I tend to mess around a bit but I really care about Noire-chan and Not Jiraiya-san. If they are upset because of something that I have done, then it is only fair that I make things right!"

"You know sometimes, I am not 100% annoyed that I am her Oracle," Histoire remarked.

"I would wait to see how this plays out before commenting." Kei remarked. "I had hoped that by explaining what had happened that Noire-sama would react more calmly. I suppose that was too much to ask considering."

"Considering?"

"… Noire-sama has been in the kitchen since 3am trying to make the perfect chocolate to express her feelings to Ninja-san." Kei shook her head as a small group of guards walked by, excitedly talking about the chocolates they had received from Noire.

"Noire made her staff chocolates?"

"No," Kei shook her head. "She just had a lot of failures when she was making Ninja-san's chocolate."

"…It's hard being an oracle." Histoire remarked.

"It is harder being a girl in love who is too proud to admit she is in love." Kei finished before heading back to the Basilcom, a bemused Histoire resting on her shoulder.

To Noire

Noire sat down a balcony overlooking Lastation sadly. A small box containing a chocolate heart was in a bin next to her as she miserably kicked her legs.

Usually the view of Lastation, of her city, smoothly running itself like a well-oiled machine would have made her proud, but right now all she could see was the many pink balloons and couples roaming the streets. It made her heart ache to imagine that Naruto and Neptune were one of those couples.

"Not that I care what he gets up to," Noire weakly protested against her own imagination. "Besides… He is technically a prisoner here. As soon as his sentence is over then he will leave." She wiped away a solitary tear.

"Noire?" Naruto ran onto the balcony. "There you are."

"What Is it?" Noire crossed her arms and stared deliberately away from Naruto.

"Listen, what just happened…"

"You are free to shove whatever you want down your pants. Why should I care?" Noire huffed.

"Neptune just went a little too far with her prank," Naruto assured Noire. "I didn't want Histoire to be shoved down there." He walked up to Noire and noticed the chocolates in the bin. "Whose are those?"

"They are… were for you," Noire mumbled.

"Wow… these taste delicious." Naruto commented.

"What are you doing?!" She turned around to see Naruto happily eating the chocolates that were in the trash. "Are you some sort of beggar that desperate for food?!" She stood up and walked over to him. "Don't eat those!"

"Noire-chan put a lot of effort into making these chocolates," Naruto smiled at her. "The least I can do is eat them."

"Uzumaki-san," Noire blushed slightly as Naruto finished the last chocolate.

"Amazing," Naruto cast aside the finished box. "I think I could get used to receiving these every year."

"Every year?" Noire glanced at him. "B-But aren't you going to go home?"

"I've been thinking." Naruto stared out at Lastation fondly. "I don't know if I can even get back. If I can't then… I guess I wouldn't be too upset about staying here with you. If you'd have me after all."

"Uzumaki-san…" Noire couldn't suppress the smile that came to her face or the warm feeling that rushed through her body.

"And even if I do find a way home, I got here once before right?" Naruto smiled at her. "So maybe I'll spend some time back home then some time here. No matter what we will meet each other again." He and Noire looked deep into each other's eyes.

"Ninja-san…"

"My name is…"

"KISS THE GIRL!"

"Eh?!" Naruto and Noire blinked before Naruto was pushed towards Noire, their lips meeting in a soft kiss.

"Another problem solved!" Neptune gave a thumbs up.

"Noire…" Naruto mumbled.

"Ninja-san…" Noire leaned forward and kissed him again, only this time deliberately. Her tongue probed his mouth for permission to enter which he willingly obliged, their tongues duelling as Naruto's hands ran down her back. For a brief moment Noire allowed him to continue. To caress her as a lover would until she caught sight of a shell shocked Neptune and quickly came to her senses and broke this kiss.

"W-wow," Naruto blinked.

"That was intense!" A blushing Neptune remarked. "That was a full on lover's kiss!"

"N-No it wasn't!" Noire defended herself. "It was an obligation kiss for Naruto! That's all!"

"Amazing! She has gone so far Tsundere she has actually broken the fourth wall and learned your name!" Neptune gasped. "Although considering this is an Omake I'm betting that it isn't canon."

"Wait what?" Noire and Naruto glanced at Neptune who merely laughed.

"Obligation kiss?" Naruto blinked, feeling slightly disappointed. "Is that a thing?"

"If it is I'll bet you can't wait for the real thing," Neptune elbowed Naruto.

"I can't."

"Ninja-san!" Noire blushed.

"Well if it was just an obligation kiss then you won't mind if I do this~" Neptune span Naruto to face him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders before kissing him, nibbling on his front lip and playfully darting inside his mouth with her tongue but withdrawing before Naruto could react.

"H-Hey!" Noire pulled Neptune loose who had a satisfied expression.

"Wow kissing is fun!" Neptune wiped her mouth. "We should do that more often! Our Lily Rank is going to be through the roof~"

"You can't just kiss him!" Noire pulled Naruto towards her. "He is my… servant!"

"I'll buy him off of you!" Neptune crossed her arms. "Name your price!"

"He is not for sale!"

"I do rather believe it is his choice is it not?" Vert remarked as she walked onto the balcony.

"Vert?!" Naruto glanced as the third goddess walked onto the balcony.

"I have been looking for you all day," Vert sighed. "To discuss Ninja-san's employment. What are you all doing here?"

"We are…" Noire tried to think of a convincing lie.

"Kissing Not Jiraiya-san!" Neptune declared completely without shame.

"Oh!" Vert clapped her hands together. "Maybe Ninja-san would like to kiss me… or maybe something more~"

"S-something more?" Naruto gulped.

"Like play a game with me."

"P-play a game?"

"The new Four Goddess Online segment has just been released!"

"Oh right… That kind of game."

"Ohoh? Is Not Jiraiya-san disappointed? Were you having naughty thoughts?" Neptune smirked. "How shameful."

"So very shameful," Noire nodded with a disapproving expression.

"Indeed," Vert added.

"H-hey…" Naruto's shoulders drooped.

"You'll have to settle for this~" Vert took one of Naruto's hands and put it in her bra, moaning erotically as Naruto subconsciously groped her, marvelling in the softness of her flesh. "Ninja-san~" Vert leaned forward and kissed Naruto deeply, moaning erotically as she grinded against Naruto.

"W-w-w-wow." Neptune blinked. "That is…"

"I…" Noire was shocked at how forward Vert was and a little part of her wished she could be that forward before she realised that Vert was molesting _her_ Ninja. Before Noire could react there was a noise like a missile and Vert was suddenly sent skidding backwards, her arms across her face guarding against a subsonic Blanc kick to the face.

"Thunder Tits!" Blanc growled as she flipped backwards and landed between a flushed Vert and a dazed Naruto. "Trying to steal my fiancé?!"

"Where did Blanc come from?" Naruto mused but was largely ignored.

"Oh my, I wouldn't say I am trying. I would say I was succeeding. He was really enjoying my breasts and mature body grinding against him. Maybe you should… Oh wait," Vert tilted her head. "You don't have any breasts or a mature figure. I guess you lose."

"Like hell I do you cheap fucking whore!" Blanc scowled before rounding on Naruto who instinctively stepped back from Blanc's intense gaze.

"So you think you can just cheat on me with Thunder Tits over there?!" She growled.

"No!" Naruto laughed weakly. "I mean I wouldn't cheat on you if we were…"

"If we were more intimate?!" Blanc suddenly frowned. "It is true that I have been neglecting your needs…"

"I was going to say if I was actually your fiancé," Naruto tried to cut into Blanc's thought train but she wasn't listening.

"I see…" Blanc looked up at Naruto. "There is only one thing for it."

"I…" Naruto was cut off by Blanc wrapping her arms and legs around Naruto and kissing him, knocking him off balance on onto the floor, where she broke the deep kiss and started to peel off his shirt, leaving a trail of kisses down to his waist until Noire dived at her to stop her, knocking her off of Naruto and starting a cat fight, as Vert tried to separate them only to get punched in the face and join in the brawl.

"Banzai!" Neptune declared happily as she jumped into the fight.

"Huh," Naruto was laid on his back staring at the sky. "I think I like this valentine's day thing."

The stars above seemed to form a picture of Jiraiya giving a thumbs up.

' _Well Done my boy! I am with you in spirit always… Not that I'm dead or anything. Or am I? Wooo… Ghost Jiraiya~'_

Naruto was vaguely aware of the Goddesses transforming and destroying the roof, causing them all to fall into the room below.

"W-what the hell?!" Uni squeaked.

"Er…" Naruto glanced to say a naked Uni and Nepgear laid on a bed, well not entirely naked. There was chocolate covering the important parts, although it looked like they had both been covered in a lot more chocolate that had been licked off.

There was an awkward silence as the four goddesses stopped fighting to stare at the younger CPU candidates.

"I really am starting to like this Valentine's day thing." Naruto remarked happily.


	7. GOOD NEWS EVERYONE

An

Good news and poll (the poll won. I planned to finidh it midnight of my time)

Sorry everyone the reason i havent written lately is cause i havent had a computer but now i do and my cousin has given me a idea

She will make a commumity on google plus for me to type and edit my story on as well as it will be a community for people to ask questions about the story

As well as people can write fight scenes and even lemon scenes and if their good who knows i might put them in my story

But since ill be typing and editing my chapters there you all will be able to actually watch each chapter form bit by bit and become part of the story

I will leave a poll saying if i should do this

Im back everyone

Please vote on the poll on if she should make the community on google plus and if the poll result is yes then i will post a link for it on my profile kay

And dont worry ill still post here on this site .

the community is just for those to watch the story grow while i work on it as well as to voice opinions and help pitch ideas for it easier

Hope everyone agrees and cant wait for the next chapter

Ja ne

The poll won the link is on my profile click of the hero of dimensions community link in my profile to go to the community ok do all who want to join the community please do and make posts aboit my story


	8. Mission in Leanbox part 3

AN sorry it took so long everyone but i finally finished this chapter

Hope you find it as funny and sensual as the other chapters

There was a lime but i removed it from this copy of it as if i didn't i could get in trouble with the new guidelines so now the only way to view limes and or lemons will be by joining the community my cousin made

This way only those who actually want to read the lemon will read it and people here who didn't want to read don't have to worry about "accidentally" reading it

Enjoy

Ps who do you all think is the strongest person mentioned in the story thus far? I'm interested to hear your thoughts but i'm taking people into account who have only been spoken about and have not fought in the story at all too

Ch. 6 Mission in Leanbox, Part 3

Naruto was currently cheering and whistling from the posh room he was in. 5pb, as well as another girl named Aria, were singing together on a stage. Apparenly, Vert had used her privileges to get him, Saya and herself box room seats for the concert.

"Fufufu...5pb-chan has the cutest voice in all of Gamindustry and Aria-chan has the most beautiful. This duet between the two was a brilliant idea from Chika, whom even went as far as organising the event and helped free up their schedules. She even financed the construction of a new stadium for them to perform and shelled out 75,000 credits on new wardrobes for the two songstresses. All of this was done so Saya-tan could have the best birthday ever as a thank you for all her hard work." Vert said as she stroked the ears and tail of the girl in question, earning a moan from the twin tailed blonde whom also developed a deep blush and looked at the floor in embarrassment.

"It's such a shame that so much paperwork has piled up that poor Chika had miss out on the concert." The blond deity added with a chuckle.

Naruto sweatdropped as he stopped whistling and cheering, turning to look at Vert.

"So basically you're too lazy to do work and you force Chika to do it? I'm guessing this happens a lot. I thought Tsunade-baachan was bad..." He commented with an eyebrow raised, Saya merely nodding before Vert could deny it.

"...Based off what Noire has told me about Neptune, I can say with certainty that you're 3 times lazier than her." She replied.

Vert pouted as she picked up Saya and put her on the floor, before scooping up the other resident blond and squashed him into her bountiful busom.

"Chika DID agree to it...And I may have promised she would get one of my special massages for a hour as a reward. So no teasing or calling me lazy Mr. Not-Jiraiya-san." Very answered him in a teasing tone as Naruto wrenched himself free from his fleshy prison (Lucky Bastard...) with a gasp, noticing an extra seat.

"What's with the extra seat? Someone else coming?" He asked, his cat eared doppleganger's mood dropping slightly.

"Th-that's for my Onee-sama. I hoped sh-she would be here as she is coming back from h-her S-class dungeon quest today, b-but she hasn't arrived yet." She replied sadly.

"YOUR SISTER DID AN S-CLASS MISSION?!" Naruto blurted out in shock, the girl now beaming with pride.

"Yep! Her name is Falcom, a famous hero who ended the 300 year long Goddess War." She replied with a sunny smile.

"...Eh..." Naruto muttered, at a complete loss as to what she was talking about. When Vert saw Naruto's confusion she decided to speak up.

"We Goddesses have been fighting each other for 300 years with no end in sight. Saya-tan's sister just showed up on the battlefield out of the blue 1 year ago, fought all four of us by herself and...well..." Vert trailed off, clearly embarrassed.

"Onee-sama kicked the shit out of them for acting like children and made them stop the war by knocking out all 4 goddesses without a single scratch! After they came around, she promised she'd do worse if they knock it off. In doing so, she freed them up so they could do something about the OTHER problem." Saya cut in before Vert could make something up, like saying Falcom only beat them in a fighting game or something like that.

Naruto was about to ask what the other problem was when the door opened and and Aria, one of the performers, came into the room. She had long silvery tresses pinned up in twin tails with purple bat bows, hot pink eyes and wearing a purple/white dress that looked like some kind of dress/school girl outfit combination.

"Ah ...we have a...break for twenty...minutes before...we sing...again." She sighed out as she slowly crawled onto the closest, most comfortable thing she could find...Naruto's lap.

At first, he showed absolutely no reaction what so ever to this strange girl who seemed to just secrete words instead of speak them crawling into his lap as if it was the most natural thing in the world, but after a quick re-boot, Naruto OS Ver. 1.53 once again resumed function.

"W-W-WHAT THE HELL?!" Naruto bellowed, causing Aria to moan and wiggle around.

"Ahh...tired...wanna sleep." Aria mumbled out, snuggling deeper in Naruto and began to sleep.

"That...Looks nice...Gonna sleep too..." Saya yawned as she spread out on Vert's lap, the Goddess stroking her ears and tail in a soothing manner as she did so.

Naruto was left more confused than before as he tried to figure out what he should while Vert was quick to take advantage of the situation, pulling a camera from her cleavage and began taking pictures like a demented papparazzi. One option he had was just waking her up and get her off, but that might cause Aria to get grouchy and she might not perform anymore. On the other hand, having this obviously cute girl on his lap was...Doing things to him. Not at all unpleasant, but it was making things a tad uncomfortable and with his reputation, that could lead to very bad things in his future...Especially if a certain Tsundere Goddess were to hear about it. However, before he could further ponder his precarious situation, he felt her sit up slightly and slip her deceptively strong arms around his neck, pulling him down.

"Ahhh...hungry..." She mumbled in sleepy voice before he felt a sharp pain in his neck.

Aria had bit his neck! The next thing he knew, he heard loud gulping sounds then the environment around him began to shift and swirl as he began feeling faint and drained. Aria eventually pulled away, her lips now deep crimson red which she licked clean, then she looked him dead in the eye.

"So tasty...so full...goodnight." Aria murmured as she fell asleep against Naruto's chest, snoring softly.

"What...The actual Hell just happened?" He asked no one in particular, still in shock as to what just happened.

Before Naruto could shakily move his hand to where Aria bit him, Vert moved in and wrapped a blue cloth with a silver bat insignia on it around his neck tightly. Not enough to strangle him, but tight enough to stop the bleeding.

"Don't worry hun...Aria-chan is a Dhampyr, a child born of a vampire and a human, but she needs blood to survive. She has never fed from anyone before, so she must like you." Vert explained to him as he began to calm down. However, he still seemed to not comprehend what was going on, she she further extrapolated on the subject.

"Vampires are blood suckers that hunt other species for food, but the Dhampyr only feed on close friends or people they feel as though they can trust." Vert added in an attempt to calm her guest as Aria mumbled something in her sleep.

"Ahh...was he praised...or called a meal...I do not know..." Aria muttered as she snuggled further into Naruto's chest.

"My new...pillow is...so comfy." She added as her girp tightened, causing Naruto's eye to strat twitching in irritation as he quickly stood up and knocked Aria off of him.

"Ask before you turn someone into a pillow or your personal juice box." He said before he grew dizzy and fell back into his seat, still woozy from the blood loss.

"That was...mean...not letting me...sleep." Aria before she climbed onto his lap and went to sleep again. Vert began to giggle uncontrollably while Naruto's right eye began to twitch again.

"Ok fine...Go ahead and use me as a pillow or whatever!" He grumbled in irritation, but he loved her music and she put on a really nice show. If she wanted to sleep, he would let her as it looked like she was pretty tuckered out.

Vert's response to this? She just giggled some more as she took more pictures, which she was planning to send to the other goddesses.

"She's more than just a idol, you know. She's also the best doctor Leanbox has. She has cured some previously incurable diseases and came up with anti-toxins to poisons once thought to be impossible to treat. However, she refuses to show us how she does any of it and refuses to have people help her, but that's a small price to pay for her medical accomplishments. She is known as the Great Dhampyr Miracle Worker." Vert informed him as the door opened once again to reveal Aria's Manager.

She had short brown hair, wore a business suit like Lastation's Oracle Kei, topped off by a hair clip that looked similar to a flag clad in red, blue, green and yellow squares. She started tapping on Aria's shoulder to wake her charge from her slumber, but her only reply was for Aria to wrap her arms around her new pillow and hold tight.

"No...Sleepy." Was all she mumbled before her manager began to assert herself with a little more authority.

"Aria-sama...We have to go backstage and get ready for the next number, biru." She grunted in obvious effort as she began to tug harder.

This only made Aria cling to her pillow even tighter and inhaled deeply, loving the sweet taste coming from the neck of said pillow, the thought of taking another drag making her drool in anticipation.

"Too tired...to continue...wanna sleep." She whined.

'Okay...THAT was pretty cute.' Thought her pillow...I mean Naruto.

"You've already had 17 naps today, you've slept enough Aria-sama, biru!" She exclaimed in exasperation, finally tugging hard enough to pull Aria out of the chair, but she also pulled the spiky haired boy right along with her since Aria refused to let him out of her iron grip. With a final sigh of frustration, she then proceeded to drag her and the boy down to the stage.

"SAYA-CHAN, VERT! HELP MEEEEEEEEE!" He cried out, his voice fading as he was dragged out of earshot. Vert was now laughing so hard, she fell out of the chair, gripped her sides while tears rolled down her cheeks.

"FUFUFUFU...HAHAHAHA! CAN'T BREATHE...I CAN'T BREATHE! HAHAHAHAH!"

Where was Saya during all of this?

"Nya...Vert-chama..." The nekomimi blond mumbled in her sleep as she fell to the floor, completely undisturbed by everything that had happened since Aria came in.

20 MINUTES LATER

Back down on the stage, the elevator platform rose up and all the fans started screaming excitedly as they prepared to hear more beautiful music from their two idols...At least that's what was supposed to happen. Instead, shock rose from the crowd and all the girls squealed out in girlish delight.

"AWWWWWWW...CUUUUUUUUTE!"

Not everyone was enthusiatic as the lady folk, though. Every male in the crowd screamed promises of pain and bloody murder as they saw a spikey haired blonde boy on the stage, their lovely Aria sitting in his lap with a big smile on her face as she sang.

"THAT BASTARD CORRUPTED ARIA-TAN!"

The amount of Killing Intent rising from the crowd was enough to remind him of Orochimaru of all people.

'Does God just hate me or something?' He wondered as he began to cook up various plans for escaping the most probable death mob that would be out for his blood after the venue was over.

10 MINUTES LATER BACKSTAGE

After her number was done, Aria had switched from Naruto's lap to his back, getting him to carry her to her changing room as the concert was over. Once inside, Aria suddenly displayed extraordinary flexibility and dexterity, somehow pulling off a handstand from his shoulders and then slowly lowered herself in front of him as she twisted around, wrapped her legs around him and embraced her hands around his neck.

'That was kinda hot...' Naruto thought as she did that. He then saw Aria blush and avoid his gaze.

"Ahh...I was praised." She murmured demurely.

"...I know I've been saying this a lot lately, but what the hell just happened?" He asked no one in particular.

"Aria is unique." Her manager said as she came in, explaining further as she closed the door.

"Vampires enslave the first human they feed from, but Dhampyrs don't need blood until the feed for the first time. After that, they have to feed periodically every ao often to avoid becoming mindless beasts. But unlike Vampires, Dhampyres gain any special abilities the owner of the blood had and also gain a mental link to them. Aria's first feeding was from medical blood packs and claims to have gotten a ability from them, but won't say what. But...Since she apparently liked you as a pillow, she fed from you which makes you the first person she has ever fed from. Now, she sense when you're near as well your location, even read your mind. It won't matter if there is any seal that suppose to keep people out of it, since she can now enter it at will too as she shares your blood." The woman stated as she switched gears.

"Vert-sama always kept a Dhampyre cloth in case Aria-sama ever bit someone. It is a tradition amongst Dhampyrs to bestow one upon the first person they bit so other Dhampyrs would know not to feed from them." She finished.

'Great...From a wanted pervert, to a walking juice box...I gotta get outta here before that mob finds me...' Naruto thought as he sat down. While he wasn't as dizzy as he was before, he still didn't think using chakra was a good idea since it was still hard to stand. He would have to wait until Aria got off him to make a run for it.

"Ahh...he plans to...run when I...get up...so I'll get...dressed while...I'm on his lap Manager-san." Aria stated.

"WWWWWHHHHAAAAATTTT?!" Naruto screamed.

Aria began to slowly remove her clothes, starting with her shirt. As she pulled it off, her black lingerie bra which had a rose flower the front was in full wiew. She blushed deeply as Naruto felt his mind running a mile a second, showing everything he's ever seen his whole life to her surprise. Then his mind came screaming back to the here and now just in time for her remove the bra as he watched as more of her silky skin was shown. It was milky white and so smooth, it was like it was carved out of marble. He saw her small but perky B-cup breasts come free from the confines of her lingere which barely did anything to hide it in the first place. One thought floated to the front of his mind...

'I wonder if it tastes as good as it loo-'

"Naruto-kun no hentai." Aria whispered/spoke as she slowly wiggled her hips against groin as she slid down her skirt, her black lace panties with a light pink rose right where her "flower" was on full display.

'Jesus tap dancing Christ...Who is that anyway? Agh, screw that. Noire's gonna KILL me once she finds out.' Naruto told himself, that collar around his neck a grim reminder of what could and probably will happen to him if news of this got out as he tried to will Lil' Naruto into it's resting state with little success.

This only seemed to incense her even more as she turned up the charm. Her scent was also intoxicating; It was as if her body, her scent, and even her voice. Everything about her seemed as if she soley existed to make him happy. Beautiful pink irises filled with cute tears, long hair, adorable bubble waist...Yeah, you get the idea. Our vertically challanged shinobi tried to hide his more...NSFW thoughts and thought he was managing to do that when...

"Onii-tan...hentai." She told him in a shy, sultry manner  
"Gurk."

Naruto literally choked on air in shock as hs mind began to function once again. After that, he realized everything was too perfect. She knew his name but he never told her. She even knows how he always wanted a lit-

"Little sister...Naru-nii-tan." She said with a gentle smile.

"I used...recollection magic to...make you remember...everything, even...your very first thought...you had. I now know...everything Onii-tan." Aria clarified for his as his finally functioning mental faculties once again flew its fuses.

"Garrg." He blurted out as he got a near catastrophic nose bleed, nearly passing out.

"Manager-san, please...leave for...a moment." Aria said as she snuggled her back into him not caring that she was half naked. The manager simply nodded and left as Naruto was left with one final thought before darkness claimed him.

'Really?'

"Yes...Onii-tan...Really."

(Lime removed)

SOMETIME LATER...

After finally recovering from that debacle, Naruto once again wondered how he got into this mess while walking down the streets of Leanbox with Aria riding piggyback and snuggling into his neck.

"Mmmmm~...smells nice." She murmured into his ear.

"Remind me why I'm your mode of transportation again?" Naruto asked as he carried her.

"Ahhh...you said you...wanted to...have someone...help you...pick out gifts...for Saya-san...but I'm too tired...to walk." She responded as she smuggled in more and began to lightly pull the neck band to the side and slowly began licking his neck.

"Hungry..." Was all she said before playfully nipped as his neck to tease him.

"Hungry for...me yet...Naru-kun?" She teased, as they went looking for clothes shops to pick out a dress for Saya, while he awkwardly tried to hide Lil' Naruto rising to attention.

MEANWHILE

Kushina was giggling as she searched through all the dresses and costumes the store had to offer. This was a store that she, her daughter Falcom and husband invested in by giving the owner, who was a former maid for them, the overhead to open the shop. The owner's dream was to become a citizen of Lowee and serve the Lady White Heart, but if you couldn't offer the goddess you were leaving or goddess you plan to join something of great value, then you can't move to the other country...That is until the peace treaty is signed.

So before the peace treaty became a reality, they invested a metric shit ton of capital into her clothing store to get her off of the ground and hopefully earn enough to move to Lowee. This had a few perks, such as the ability to get clothes from her for free. As if only to sweeten the deal, she designs and creates some of the most beautiful clothes in the Hyperdimension. She was even the one all four Goddesses asked to design the dresses they would wear for the peace treaty ceremony coming soon, as well as the dresses for the oracles and candidates.

Who is this woman, you ask? Her name is Financier, sporting golden sand colored locks and gleaming amber colored eyes. Hearing the door open, she turned to see whom had walked in and bowed to Kushina upon seeing her.

"Lady Kushina! What brings you into my shop today?" She greeted then asked excitedly as she rocked on the balls of her feet. She had just finished the outfits for the Goddess this morning and had a nonstop stream of customers come to shop just to see the dresses on the display behind the register.

"Financier, darling...It's been a while. Saya's birthday is today and I wanted to buy her some cute new clothes." She said, the mother squealing in delight as she remembered how Saya was when she came home yesterday.

"I heard she's got cat ears and a tail now due to one of Lady Chika's inventions. Well...It's a good thing that I have a entire collection for Neko girls that come over as refugees from the PC Continent." Financier suggested as she led Kushina to the Neko area, resplendent with ribbons, bells,cute dresses and shirts of all types she designed for the Neko race.

Kushina squealed with unrestrained glee as she saw the cuteness of each outfit and plethora of accessories as she grabbed some of each that were colored orange or light blue, as those were Saya's two favorite colors.

"I'll take these!" She exuberantly cheered as Financier rang her up, opened the door and bowed politely.

"Please come again Kushina-sama. I hope you find out who that boy your look for is and if he really is your idiot husband's illegitimate child." She bade farewell to Kushina as she walked out the door, when just a few moment later, the door opened again causing the bell to ring.

"Ahhh, this...is where...I get my...clothes custom...made." Financier smiled as she turned around to greet another of her favorite customers.

"Aria-chan, it's good...to...see...you." Financier's voice dropped, her eyes nearly bulging bigger in shock as she saw the very illegitimate child she had just been talking about waltz right in carrying Aria.

"Namikaze clothing ...strange name...that's my..." Aria began to explain when another voice cut her off.

"Welcome! How may I help you?" She said as she bowed respectfully as she regained her wits, though her smile twitched every so often.

"Ahhhh, has...my new...singing outfit...been finished yet?" Aria inquired as she climbed off the young man's back and went to the counter.

"Yes. One moment, please." The woman replied as she bent down under the counter to get the box she put her new outfit in.

"Why is this place called Namikaze clothing?" The boy asked in puzzlement to her consternation as she face planted.

'THE NAMIKAZE FAMILY IS THE MOST WELL KNOWN FAMILY IN THE WORLD SINCE FALCOM BEAT THE GODDESSES! HOW DOES THIS BOOB NOT KNOW THEIR NAME?!' She inwardly railed at him before regaining her composure.

"This store was financed by the Namikaze family, so out of respect for Kushina Namikaze-sama and Minato Namikaze-sama, whom I used to serve, I decided to name my store after them." She replied, but the raction she got certainly wasn't what she expected.

The boy clenched his hands with enough force that Financier could see his nails cut into his hands and draw blood. He was obviously very upset by the somehow.

"...Do you have any pictures of what they look like?" He asked, trying to remain calm as Financier grabbed one of the photos she had. It was a photo of Kushina and Minato standing in front of the Hokage monument that they told Financier was after their wedding day. It was one of the few pictures they had left after they left their original home.

The boy took it and began to pour over it, only to be shocked and confused by all of the inconsistencies that popped up.

"Why aren't Saru-jiji or dad on Hokage Monument?" He said as he pointed to the third and fourth faces on the monument.

"Who's jiji?" Financier responded with a question of her own, as she too pointed to the third and fourth faces on the monument.

"That's the Third Hokage Biwako Sarutobi and the Fourth Hokage Kushina-sama." She explained to him as he visibly deflated.

Naruto began to think hard about what he was just told. He tried to figure out what was going on, he then remembered about the notes in his parents journal, particularly about jumping to different branches.

"I see...So that's it, they're not mine. They're from a completely different reality, not mine." He said, shaking off the heartbreak before he turned to Financier.

"Where can I meet and talk to them?" He asked in all seriousness. He felt that if they could use the same Fuuin Jutsu that got him here, they could send him back.

"W-well...Kushina-sama is looking for presents for Saya-tan and Minato-sama is getting the cake at the bakery that Kushina-sama ordered." She answered him, his sudden shifts in mood jarring her, as well as certain aspects of his personality oddly reminding her of Kushina herself while his facial expressions were almost dead ringers for Minato.

"Great, bye!" He exclaimed, pulling another jarring 180 as he ran out while Aria chased after him.

"Ahh...wait up...Naru-kun." She called out as she glomped onto him and rested her head on his shoulder then falling asleep.

"Great..." He sighed in defeat as he simply adjusted her weight and ran off.

MEANWHILE...

In lastation, Noire was currently dusting the walls and counters, cleaning the windows and dishes, all the while cooking up a hefty meal while Uni helped. After all, it's not often the guest they were about to receive shows up. The girl coming was known as Kanon, the first and only person Noire performed the Celestial Ritual on. In blessing Kanon with in the manner as well as due to the nature of the ritual, resulted in she and Noire becoming engaged.

Kanon herself was raised by Noire since she was 6 after her parents died during the Goddess Wars. Her father a human, but her mother a special breed of wolf yokai. Because of this unique blending of DNA, she gained the ability to instantly dissolve food in her stomach with a hyper charged metabolism, giving her gastric system unparalleled efficiency while allowing her to maintain a body all girls are jealous of without the threat of getting fat. Though as this ability creates energy instantly, the only time her species gets hungry is when they're tired and lack magic in their bodies. But when they eat, THEY EAT.

Kanon was raised alongside Uni, whom looked up to Kanon as another older sister. Kanon treats Uni like a kid sister, yet developed a habit of calling Noire her mother.

After the Goddesses made the oath to uphold the Friendship Peace Treaty, they formed a new regiment to enforce their new policies and rules, as well as to suppress any of the radicals who believe the war should continue.

Just as they placed the food on the dining room table and all the maids and knights that guarded the basilicom arrived, the doors flew open. A blur of red and black raced over toward Noire like a lightning bolt and scooped her up.

"Mama! it's soooooo gooooood to see you again.~" The red and black aura said before it also scooped up Uni.

"You too, Uni! You grew sooooo muuuch.~" "The wolf girl cheered as she swung the poor Candidate around like a rag doll.

Uni's eye twitched as she saw that Kanon had indeed grown A LOT, particularly her breasts, but her own only grew by a centimeter since they last saw one another.

Kanon's tail and ears popped out as she sniffed the air.

"Smelllls goooooood~" She drooled as she picked them both up energetically and carried them to the table, plopping Uni down in the chair next to her, however she sat Noire onto her own lap. She began to dig in like there was no tomorrow, inhaling everything she got her hands on then washed it down some strawberry juice, her tail wagging like mad.

"It'sh show goo, mama..." She mumbled through a mouthful before Noire gave her a gentle bop on the nose.

"No talking with your mouth full." Noire admonished as Kanon continued to stuff her face with unrestrained abandon.

A FEW MINUTES AND SEVERAL PLATES LATER

Uni's eyes were comically wide as she looked at the table that had food for 35 people. Had. It was now spotless, almost surgically so as the wolf girl was cleaning her teeth with a toothpick. Uni steamed with jealousy at how much Kanon could pack away and not gain a single pound.

"This is sooo unfair..." Uni muttered in jealousy.

Kanon finished cleaning her teeth and cuddled up to Noire.

"So when am I going to be introduced to Noire's blonde, spikey haired boyfriend?" She asked as she began to rub her hands up and down Noire.

"H-h-he's not my boyfriend!" She barked, Tsundere mode in full effect.

"Well...Kei-chan said he was and she said she was gonna have him take the God Eater entrance exam. Abbadon is on a plane to Leanbox right to give him the exam. I'm so excited to see the man that will turn our threeway into a fourway!" Kanon chirped cheerfully.

"KANOOOOOON!" Noire screamed as her face went atomic red. Uni did as well, although she was used to this kind of thing. Kanon was Noire's future wife but Abbadon is a succubus that serves Kanon in both battle and bed with Noire. She also knew how Noire was a major masochist, that she would scream for the whole basilicom to hear, begging Kanon and Abbadon to spank, whip, then bind her up more. She knew her sister was a massive pervert, but she would never admit it out loud. All the workers in the basilicom knew but never said anything because for one, Noire doesn't realise how loud she is during their lovemaking and two, they didn't want to make her cry and hide from embarrassment. But Kanon, Abbadon, and Noire and wanted a boy in it as well as they were all bisexual.

"Just b-b-b-because you're also not a v-v-virgin doesn't mean you can show your l-lewdness anytime you want!" Uni stuttered out with her face aflame.

Kanon's ears twitched as her smile brightened.

"Both Noire and myself are virgins. We have never had sex. When we did that ritual, it released our hidden feelings, that's all. Noire wanted to be spanked because she wanted someone else be in charge of her life for once, my feelings were the opposite as in wanting to be in control for once in my life. So, all I did was spank her like the masochist she is, but we never had sex. But...I couldn't help but notice you said 'also'." Kanon stated as she rounded on Uni with a Cheshire grin.

So...Who took yours,Uni? Do I know them?" The wolf girl inquired wth a teasing tone.

Uni instantly regretted her poor choice of words as she blushed a shade of red that would put a tomato to shame while looking away, unable to meet their gaze,

"N-no...Y-you don't." She squeaked out, but that wasn't enough for Kanon as she jumped on Uni, snapping her into a tight embrace and began to twirl her around like a centrifuge.

"Come on...Tell Kanon onee-chan who it is! Tell me, tell me!" Kanon pressed as she spun faster.

Noire was shocked by this recent revelation. Uni? She got her cherry popped before HER? Inconceivable! However, business needed to be attended to first, coughing into her hand to get Kanon's attention.

"Not trying to be rude... While I'm glad to see you again Kanon, but I didnt expect to see you until PC Continent was taken care of. Why are you here?" Noire asked.

Kanon stopped twirling Uni, releasing the now nauseated Candidate to look at Noire as she smiled.

"I thought I told you already...We had a suggestion to add your boyfriend into the God Eater Regiment by one of the goddesses. So I'm here to see you while my partner Abbadon goes to Leanbox to test him." Kanon replied.

"H-HE IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND!" Noire screamed while her face was lit up like a fireworks display.

"WHO THE HELL APPLIED HIM TO ENTER THE REGIMENT?! IF HE GETS ACCEPTED, I WON'T BE ABLE TO SEE HI- I mean I won't be my money maker for Lastation anymore!" She blurted as she tried to cover up her slip of the tongue while Kanon patted Noire's head in an attempt to comfort the girl who just couldn't admit her feelings.

MEANWHILE...

Meanwhile, in the gentle, forever snowing, calm, peaceful country of Low-

"YOU FUCKING BRATS! YOU DREW ON THE GODDAMN MASTERPIECE OF MY NOVELS!" An angry Blanc screamed bloody murder as she ran after her twin sisters.

"Uh oh, Rom...Big sis really flipped out this time!" Ram laughed as she grabbed her sister's hand and ran for their lives. They would have gotten away if it weren't for that buzzkill Mina and her ice magic. She blocked them off in a corner with an Ice Wall, effectively corralling them.

Blanc stomped up to the cornered twins and with the blood red eyes of a demon that promised death, she grabbed the two girls and dealt out their punishmemt, three spankings apiece. After their light thrashing, the irate Goddess sent them to their room. However, since she somewhat knew why they did it, she had Mina use magic to make it snow in their room so they can play in the snow without having to go outside. It's what she always did to get them to stay in their room and play for a bit while behaiving and staying out of her hair for a while.

Now...One would point out that having snow inside would cause a lot of water damage and you would be correct...But this is fiction plus it's Gamindustri. Take your reality somewhere else. To offer somekind of explaination here, there was a seal in their room which both kept them from getting too cold as well as preventing the snow from melting. Once they were done playing, water from the melted snow would evaporate instantly then go to the ceiling to make more snow next time.

"Owie...That kinda hurt..." Rom whimpered through teary eyes while Ram just giggled and rolled around in the snow on their floor, completely unfazed by what just happened.

"Yay! It worked like a charm!" Ram cheered as she opened their window.

"Onee-chan and Mina will steer clear thinking we're just playing while use this to sneak out. After we get out of here, we can go play with ninja Onii-chan." Ram figured.

The twins used their bedspreads, pillows and old clothes to make a rope for them to climb down from their balcony. After they slid down a good distance, they let go and their soft fluffy shoes landed in the snow, beginning their trek away from the basilicom as each step let out a soft crunch, the frsh snowfall being pushed down as they stepped in it.

As they knew it, every 3 days a shipment of meat and gems would be secretly shipped from Lowee to Leanbox. They knew Blanc had a crush on Vert and vise versa, but they they went to great lengths to hide it from everyone, especially the other Goddesses. Even so, Vert and Blanc met twice every month like clockwork. The first time they would stay at a small cottage in the snowy Lowee forest for 2 days. The second time was at a hotel their Onee-sama kept saying was a special hotel, telling the hotel owner each time that they were something called "Goddess Cosplayers".

Why would two 10 year old girls know this? It was because Rom and Ram followed them to those places and would hear weird moans and sometimes screaming. They may not have known what they were really doing, but they knew one other thing for certain; Without Lowee, Leanbox wouldn't last long and without Leanbox, Lowee would fall. While Lowee was a beautiful nation blessed with great mineral resources and gems, schools plus wild game, Lowee lacked the money and gold to pay for the expenses for people to work for these things as well as the oil to power their mining machines on top of a lack of technology. Leanbox has lots of gold plus a much higher level of technological advancement than Lowee, but they lack education materials, gems and wild game for meat for the citizens.

Mina told them Lowee and Leanbox had started this secret underground trading between them behind the the other 2 goddesses backs in secret 300 years ago and began to have these "Meetings" as Mina calls it about 20 years after that. Mina also said that they are to call Vert their Onee-chan when only Vert and Blanc are present an alone but to never if others are around. It was thanks to this underground secret trade agreement that they crept into one of the shipments bound for Leanbox.

"This is gona be great, nin-nin!" Ram whispered excitedly, her whole face covered except for her eyes using her pink scarf.

"Wiggle, wiggle, excitement...infiltrating, nin-nin." Rom replied, her verbal tic of saying what she is doing or how she is feeling coming out in her happiness and excitement.

They had found a big box filled with styrofoam packing and climbed inside it, giggling as the squirmed about and cheering as they figured seeing ninja Nii-chan was worth any punishment they would definitely get. They closed the box over themselves and quieted down when they started moving so that they wouldn't get caught.

"Here we come, Nii-chan!" They whispered in unison.

BACK IN LEANBOX...

While running around the city, Naruto remembered when he around Saya, she would shirk off her duties to play games and she would usually kick his ass at them. Howver, there was a game she kept saying she wanted.

"Hey, when is World Break Online coming out? I hope my Okaa-sama gets me World Break Online for my birthday. Hey pervy ninja-san...If you get me World Break Online, I'll give you both Nee-chan's and my own bras and panties that we have worn this past week."

Yeah...It was pretty obvious that she wanted this game.

This is what drove Naruto to sprint around Leanbox like a loon searching for game stores whom carried it. As Financier told him earlier, Kushina was looking for gifts for Saya, so if he found the game and bought for her first, then he could use it as a bargaining chip to talk to Kushina. From what he heard from Saya, she loaths the very air he breathes, so without it he would never get to speak to her beyond the woman trying to kill him on sight.

Eventually, he had gone through every store that sold games in the city but one, which is where he just arrived, still carrying a sleeping Aria. This huge store, called WalVert, had a naked picture of Vert in her human form with only censor lights blocking the most important bits with script next to her:

You won't find special products bigger or cheaper anywhere other than here!

Under the picture in much smaller script, which went unread by most including our blond hero, which read :

Picture donated by our oracle Chika and prices of our products will get a drastic increase upon reaching the registers.

He charged in and ran to the game section, where he saw they only had one copy left for 1,500 credits. He wasted no time and rammed his hand through the protective glass, ignoring people telling him to wait to unlock it. Just as he did this, so did a red haired woman with piercing violet eyes. She looked pretty pissed off too, seeing as she slapped him in the face with her chakra chains, snatched the game he dropped and ran.

"I WON'T LET THE CHILD OF A SLUT MY CHEATING HUSBAND BANGED STEAL MY DAUGHTER'S BIRTHDAY PRESENT!" She bellowed as she took off like a bullet, charging for the front registers.

Naruto dug into his pouch and took out some ninja wire. Using his chakra to control it, he snagged Kushina around her legs and made her fall, dropping the game. Naruto ran up and grabbed the game, but when he tried to make a break run for the register, Kushina grabbed his ankle and pulled him down, but jarred Aria awake in the process. Kushina scrambled back to her feet, snatched game from him and tried to run off, but Aria now plenty pissed that her nap had bee cut short, seeing as she summoned a horde of adorable bats to rip off every last stitch of clothing off Kushina.

With an ear splitting scream upon finding herself in the buff, she desperately tried to cover herself as every male in the store, even gay dudes, broke out into catcalls and cheers...Before their girl/boyfriends elbowed them in jealousy. Naturally, Kushina dropped the game in favor of cover herself before glaring at him with hatred unbound.

"YOU PERVERTED FUCKCHILD! I'LL RIP THE WOMB OUT THE WOMAN WHO BIRTHED YOU! I'LL USE MY CHAINS TO RIP OFF YOUR ARMS AND LEGS, THEN RAM UP THAT CHEATING BASTARD'S ASS!"

"Holy hell, she's pissed!" Naruto whimpered as he snatched the game, grabbed a bunch of clothes that he ran by and tossed them back at Kushina.

"Sorry, but I didn't do that!" He called over his shoulder to her as he bolted away.

After weaving in and out of a sea of shoppers, he finally reached the register, pretty much thrusting the game at the cashier.

"SCAN SCAN SCAN!" He cried out in panic as he looked at the pure anger and rage exploding from where they left Kushina and it was slowly getting closer. After a moment, the price came up.

"500,000 CREDITS?! BUT THE PRICE WAS 1,500!" Naruto nearly screamed.

One of the guys from the game department slowly peeled off the 1,500 price tag to show a brand new 500,000 tag under it.

"Sorry sir, but if you read the fine print outside under the picture as it says all items get a drastic increase at the register...Actually, this comes with the season pass, so..." Next thing Naruto knew, it went up to 1,000,000 credits.

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, MAN?!" Naruto yelled, but as he turned around, he saw that the beyond livid woman was at the next isle, her glare promising a horrifying death should she get her hands on him.

"HOLY SHIT!" He yelled as he quickly pulled out the metal strip card thing Noire called a Credit Card that was apparently linked to her own account and said he could use it to buy stuff in an emergency.

'THIS IS DEFINITELY AN EMERGENCY!' He thought as he swiped the card like Noire showed him and ran out the store.

"Thank you! I hope you enjoyed your WalVert experience, please come again!" The cashier lady called after him devil horns and a tail having sprouted from her as she reveled in having just fleeced another customer.

A FEW MINUTES LATER...

Naruto managed to make it back to the Leanbox basilicom and began his search for Saya to make a deal with her for the game. He finally found her eating lunch with Cave but as he approached, Cave raised a eyebrow then gave a small cough. On this signal, all special task force members grabbed their skirts and held them down to hide their panties, every one of them glaring death at the blond.

"Oh, come on...I'm not a pervert like my sensei, honest!" He exclaimed in exasperation that they all thought that low of him.

Snapping out of his funk, he tapped Saya on the shoulder and pulled out the game she desired. No sooner than he had whipped it out, she stood up, grabbed his hand and yanked him away from the cafeteria. She led him into a nearby bathroom and locked the door behind them.

"What the hell are you doing?" He questioned, beginning to get a bit freaked out.

"Shut up! This is going to be embarrassing enough." She hissed as she began to slowly removed her clothes very slowly starting with her shirt.

Pulling it slowly over her head, it brushed past her cute cat ears which twitched and caused her to sensually moan at the sensation, making Naruto flush instantly. Her perfect C-cup breasts slightly bounced within their silky pink and orange floral lingerie confinement. She then slid her skirt down to her ankles and she stepped out of it, revealing her panties to be of the same design. She blushed an even deeper red as she used her tail to pull off her panties while her hands undid her bra, thrusting both objects into his hands before rushing forward and hugging him.

"I'm sorry...I couldn't g-give you Nee-chan's as I said s-so to make up for it, I p-played with myself while wearing those earlier and decided to let you hold me w-while I'm in my birthday suit. I-I hope this is still a acceptable." She barely managed to stutter out, her adorable cat ears and tail drooping as if she expected him to call it off. If she had been looking, she would have seen an expression on his face that screamed WTF.

"...And you all call ME a pervert...I was gonna to offer you a different trade where I give you the game. In exchange, you convince your parents to have talk with me without ripping my spine out so I can explain some things and ask some questions." He replied in a deadpan voice.

"EHHH?! W-what...But...I..." She sputtered looked down, her face now atomic red. Her eyes grew teary as she realised her bare C-cups were pressed against his chest and one of his legs was between her thighs.

'I just stripped down to my birthday suit and damn near dry humped this guy for NOTHING?!' She ranted mentally as the only response she could come up with at the time showed itself with a vengeance.

"HENTAI!" She screamed as she went Hulk-Smash on his face with enough force to send him clean through the door.

"WHAT THE HELL DID I DO?!" He bellowed as he sat up, but the look on her face was enough to flash freeze Hell itself.

"You will never speak of this to anyone, understand?" She demanded as she put her panties and bra back on.

Naruto nodded rapidly, looking like a bobble head in the process. However, Aria chose that moment to step out from the shadows that she used to conceal herself, a cheshire grin on her lips.

"Ahh...I make...no promises."

Saya's only response was an ear-splitting scream.

THREE HOURS LATER...

NAMIKAZE MANSION

Naruto was currently sitting down, relaxing on the gentle, soft and cozy chair he was chained to.

'Well...At least the chair's kinda comfy...' He thought as Kushina rounded on him, her eyes promising a sheer agony should he piss her off even more than she was now.

"Well...You wanted to talk, so talk you little shit. If I'm not satisfied, I'll lop your balls off and shove 'em down your throat, whore spawn." The woman growled, her blood red hair rising into what he believed were tails...Nine of them.

Naruto gulped loudly as he cast a quick glance over to Saya with his best WTF look, but her response was less than encouraging.

"Sorry, but this was the best I could get her to agree to. At least she hasn't brought out her old tools...Yet." She stage whispered to him.

'Holy crap...Was MY mother this psychotic?!' He thought as he took a deep breath and began to speak.

"Look lady...I'm not YOUR husband's son, but I AM in another dimension. You came from Konoha just like me...Just not MY Konoha. In mine, Minato, your husband and my dad, was the Yondaime, and you were his aide." He said as calmly as he could with a katana just millimeters away from his junk. He even tried to explain the journal he found and experimented with, how authored it and how it brought him here in the first place, but the woman holding the implement of death looked as if she was only a hair away from slicing him into shinobi sashimi, so he tried a different approach.

"I know it sounds crazy, but hear me out! My version of you guys died sealing the Kyuubi inside of me to protect the village by making me the Kyuubi Jinchuriki. But if you're both alive along with your daughter. that means that you still have your Kyuubi, don't you? Just look at my seal and it'll prove I'm telling the truth! You and your husband aren't my parents but you ARE another version of them. I came to show this to you so you would stop torturing him for something he never did. My seal is on my gut, check it if you need proof of what I'm saying." Naruto explained quickly as it looked like her patience had nearly run out.

"A bold claim for a fappy little turd like you, but I think I will check it, thank you very much." Kushina huff as she cut his shirt off and channeled chakra into him to force the seal to appear.

'If he IS telling the truth, it should show up if a shove some chakra into it.' She reasoned as she did so and to her shock, a seal appeared, one with signatures practically identical to her husband and her own chakra.

'Eight trigrams, four element seal, traces of the shinigami's chakra was used, too. This can't be...' She then forced the signatures to come to her instead of doing what the seal designated them to do. Once she did, her mind was assualted by a torrent of memories that were similar to her own yet different. She bore witness to the memories of the Kushina who bore this child she has hated for weeks now; How she carried him, loved him, his birth, the attack...Everything.

"I'm so sorry..." She whispered as she pulled back with an apologetic smile.

"Saya-tan, come meet your new little brother!" She called out to her daughter cheerfully. Her terminology took a moment to process...

"...LITTLE BROTHER?!" The newly proclaimed siblings screamed in syncronized shock.

"Yep! Now...Falcom is with your father getting your cake Saya-chan, but we won't eat till tomorrow 'cause I think it would be best if you and your new brother got to know each other." She said as she grabbed both of them with her chains, hoisted them into the air and dragged them upstairs while all the maids that served the Namikaze family bowed in respect for Kushina and to show they now recognise a new master in the household.

Upon clearing the stairs and walking down the hall, Kushina then threw them into a sapphire colored room. It was MASSIVE inside. He could create 100 shadow clones and still have room to spare. As he looked around, he saw that the bed was covered in bright orange covers with a black sheet and was covered in fox and cat plushies. He guessed it would take a good 30 steps to get from the door to the bed. A massive 95 inch TV was on the wall oppisite the bed, with dozens of game consoles all around it too. The bath was also in the room but the tub and shower was covered in all sorts of seals that Naruro recognised as barriers seal to prevent water from leaving the tub. It was a old seal that was recreated by his mom, but she never shared it with others so when she died the night of the attack, the seal did too.

It would not let any water leave the tub at all, even on ones skin. As soon as they passed through the barrier, every drop would be pushed from their body back into the tub, drying them instantly. This way, Saya didn't ever have to worry about making her floor wet despite the tub and shower being in her room.

Upon further inspection, he spotted five different dressers that were two times taller than Naruto and each labeled differently. One was bras, another was skirts, another being shirts, then one being panties, the final one saying booty shorts.

'That's oddly specific...and that's an ass load of clothes. I wonder if Sakura-chan or Noire-chan had this much clothes, too...Like a girl thing or something...' He noted mentally as his quick inspection of his new surroundings continued.

There were 4 different closet doors and...A bath that was constantly boiling water, labeled as a hot tub. It was after this, he finally spoke up.

"Whoa...This room is over ten times bigger and better than my craptastic apartment by itself..." Naruto muttered in pure shock. As awed as he was, he was sadly dragged back down to earth he bolted when Kushina slammed the door shut, seals appeared to keep Naruto and Saya alone in the room.

"HEY...WHAT THE HELL?! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SEALING US IN HERE, LADY?!" He bellowed as he fruitlessly pounded on the door until he heard Kushina chuckle from the other side.

"In both your homeworld and mine, the Uzumaki are near extinction. So, it's only natural for 2 of Uzumaki bloodline, brother and sister in this case to start re-populating the clan!" She explained with a bit too much glee in her voice for his liking.

"ARE YOU ON CRACK, LADY?! YOU WANT ME AND SAYA TO DO THE NASTY AND MAKE HER HAVE MY KIDS?! WHAT IF WE DON'T WANT TO, HUH?!" He bellowed in response, trying to get Saya to back him up...but his luck since coming to this world was running true to form.

"KUKUKUKU...YOU SAY THAT NOW, BUT I HEAR YOU WERE ALL OVER HER BEFORE AND WERE THE ONE THAT MADE HER A NEKO, PLUS I HEAR YOU MADE HER GET NAKED AND RUB HERSELF AGAINST YOU AT THE LEANBOX BASILLICOM!"

"Who the hell told you that crap story?!"

"CAVE TOLD ME EVERYTHING!"

'That BITCH!'

"YOU OBVIOUSLY THINK OF HER AS A POSSIBLE LOVER AND AS FOR SAYA NOT WANTING TO...YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT ALL HER CLOSETS ARE FILLED WITH HENTAI GAMES AND PORN VIDEOS OF BROTHERS AND SISTERS GOING AT IT LIKE RABBITS! ONCE I THINK I'VE HEARD YOU GO AT IT ENOUGH WHERE I'LL BE SURE TO BE A GRANDMOTHER IN NINE MONTHS, I'LL LET YOU OUT! KAY! HAVE FUN, YOU TWO!" The disturbingly gleeful mother yelled as she left the vicinity.

"I think my soul just died a little..." Naruto moaned as he turned around to face Saya.

"Otouto...Saya Onee-chan loves you." She purred, her ears and tail flitting about in excitement. Saya pounced on him before he could even blink, a massive blush on her face as she began to lick him all over his neck and face desperatly like a frantic cat in heat.

"Otouto...Otouto...My~ Little~ brother~ Nyaaa~." She panted as Naruto kicked her off, only for her to jump on him again. Her claws sliced through his clothes with disturbing ease, leaving him butt naked. Saya, drooling like a deranged pervert and making a face that would make that old pervert Jiraiya proud, sprang out her clothes and began to chase her new brother around the huge room.

"MAKE ME YOUR MASOCHISTIC SEX KITTY AND LETS MAKE KITTENS, LITTLE BROTHER NYAAAA~!"

Did Saya catch Naruto and screw his brains out? The world may never know.

Beta by JAYSEN

NOTES

Kanon is Godeater. I change her into a wolf girl to help the next Arc

Second ALL this chapter was typed via a cracked touch screen phone so be gentle on Grammar please

I don't have the money to afford a new computer anytime soon so for a while the chapters will be typed via phone but my new beta did a good job I believe


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